


Modern Nessian

by ModernBookFae



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: A Court of Thorns and Roses - Freeform, ACOTAR - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blind Date, Eventual Smut, F/M, Nessian - Freeform, a court of mist and fury, acomaf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2018-10-04 22:37:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 91,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10291805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ModernBookFae/pseuds/ModernBookFae
Summary: Nesta Archeron is a college student working in the city of Prythian when she is unknowingly set-up for a blind date with a brute of a man with a charming smile and a cocky attitude. She thinks that their blunder of a first meeting will be the last time she sees Cassian, but then she finds herself meeting him time and time again. Now she must adjust to him being her trainer, a friend and perhaps something more...





	1. Blind Date

**Author's Note:**

> Nesta thinks that she is meeting Feyre, but it turns out she is being set-up for a blind date she never saw coming. And now a headstrong male is heading her way who isn't about to back down from the challenge that Nesta poses. Sparks are about to fly and burn between them. But who is going to get burned? Or will this just be the start of something more?

Nesta inhaled deeply while nursing her headache with a glass of scotch in the corner of the bar. She thought her last year in college would be easy-going, but apparently fate had a way with making sure Nesta couldn’t have a relaxing semester. She currently juggled a 15 page marketing report and mid-term group presentation with two of the laziest students in her business class.

She brought the cool glass to her lips and took another drink. Her day hadn't gotten any better when she left her classes to work at the restaurant. Most of the customers she served earlier today were couples who could hardly keep their hands off of each other long enough to actually eat their food. Nesta couldn’t help but to roll her eyes as she sat there drinking her scotch. 

 _Who would love another person to the extent that they would go so far out of their way to act so delusional? Or at least have some public decency not to grope one another under the table?_  

Nesta huffed in agitation while taking another long gulp from the glass _. Love was just an excuse so someone could get into another person pants._  

The clock on the wall read 6:20 p.m. much to Nesta’s aggravation when she noticed. 

 _Where the hell is Feyre? Can’t even show up when she scheduled this meeting?_  

“Need another glass?” The bartender asked. 

Nesta shook her head in refusal while glancing toward the door looking for her youngest sister to walk in. Another five minutes passed as Nesta rolled up the sleeves of her white button down shirt that she still had on from work. 

 _If she doesn’t show up in the next five minutes I am done. I can’t wait here for another 30 minutes on Feyre’s whim._  

An exhausted sigh escaped her lips and as she took another sip of scotch when the barstool next to her suddenly became occupied with a large body and a deep warm voice. 

“Hey there,” the friendly male voice sitting next to her said in her direction.

Nesta paid no heed to the man. She wasn’t in the mood to talk with anyone considering how her day had been shittier than most this week. 

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ 

Cassian walked into the bar Feyre, a close friend of his, had mentioned where to meet Nesta. He was running late do to office work at Rhysand's company, but hoped that he wasn’t too late. He walked further into the dimly lit bar with the scent of beer and cheap smoke filling his senses. Luckily it was early enough in the day that the larger crowd had yet show up in the bar. Cassian quickly scanned the sparse patrons. He searched for a face that matched the description Feyre had given him. Their conversation from the day before filtered into his mind.

“Nesta won’t be expecting you, but I think you can handle her Cassian,” Feyre said.

Rhysand snorted. “From what you told me I think we should be worried that Cassian might end up in an emergency room if we are lucky. Or facedown in a ditch at its worst.”

Cassian raised a brow and smirked. “Does she play rough? If so I am no stranger to a tussle in the sheets if she’s looking for that kind of partner.” He then raised his eyebrows suggestively to which Feyre merely chuckled and Rhys rolled his eyes.

 _He is going to be in for a rude awakening Feyre and Rhys thought silently._  

Feyre shook her head. “More like she can cut you with a single glare. Seriously Cassian just try to be a gentleman and charm her up.” Feyre paused and made sure to emphasize. “Just don’t push it if it’s obviously not going anywhere.”

Cassian nodded. He never pursued a woman if it was evident that they weren’t compatible, whether for meager physical fun or whatever both partners were looking for. In truth he was anticipating the challenge Nesta posed. He had heard about Feyre’s oldest sister being described as being a vicious viper with her words. He could handle whatever nasty words she sent him and give it straight back if it came down to it.

So when Cassian finally noticed Nesta sitting in the corner of the bar he walked over to occupy the seat beside her.

He initiated the conversation, but the woman kept looking forward obviously ignoring his greeting. Cassian frowned at the unexpected lack of response. He ordered a drink as he thought of a new way to gain her attention.

While he waited Cassian looked at Nesta and got a better impression of Feyre’s oldest sister. He took note of her appearance that most people would glance over. Nesta was pale as if she didn’t get out in the sun too much, but her skin looked soft enough that Cassian wondered if it would be delicate under his touch. Her long hair held a dark golden sheen that was difficult to see until she tilted her head slightly. Thick strands were pulled into a tight high ponytail that ran down the middle of her taut shoulder blades.

Nesta was pretty. Cassian would admit that, but the frown marring her face would send most away before they ever got the chance to talk with her. Cassian grinned. He was up for this challenge and so the chase began.

“Hey, don’t mean to interrupt your no doubt intriguing thoughts, but can I ask you a question?” Cassian said this time causing Nesta to turn her head toward him. Her bluish grey eyes cut into his hazel ones like steel.

“What?” Her clipped tone held no warmth.

“Just wanted to ask what a lovely creature like you was doing over here stewing over some scotch.”

Nesta couldn’t believe this. This man was trying to hit on her.

“Fuck off,” Nesta turned. Completely dismissing Cassian.

“Damn looks like someone came along and bit you in the ass,” Cassian smiled a toothy grin in challenge.

“And if you don’t pick your ass off that bar stool and leave me alone you’re going to wish you never walked in here.” Nesta snarled while glancing at the clock again wondering why her sister still wasn't here.

“Nice to see that my ass is on your priority list,” Cassian replied thoroughly enjoying himself as he riled up this spitfire of a woman

Nesta faced Cassian and studied him more closely. He was attractive, or at least had a rugged handsomeness about him Nesta noted. Dark tousled hair hung to reach to top of his shoulders. It looked as if his hands had run through the black strands many times for that slightly messy style. Faint stubble across the lower half of his darkly tanned face could not hide his angular cheekbones. Muscles in his arms and broad chest were prominent from underneath his gray shirt. What captured Nesta’s attention the most were this stranger’s hazel eyes that burned like flickering embers. She was so caught up in the man that is took his knowing smirk to shake her from the evaluation. Her cheeks began to warm in embarrassment. 

“Why don’t you go bother someone else,” Nesta snarled. Pissed off at both at this man and herself for getting distracted by his looks. “I'm actually waiting for someone and you are in their seat.” 

“Really?” Cassian looked around the bar in exaggeration to humor her. “Looks like I am right where I belong if you ask me. With me sitting right beside the hottest thing in this hell hole.” 

Nesta whipped her head around seeing red. Anger coursed through her veins turning into a raging inferno. She would not be toyed with. Not by anyone and certainly not this bastard. 

Cassian, noticing the fire in her eyes, prepared himself with a shit-eating grin on his face. “What’s wrong Nesta? Can’t take the heat?” 

Her name gave her pause. Nesta clenched her hand around the empty glass to the point her knuckles turned white. 

Nesta hissed, “What did you say?” 

Cassian played coy. Wanting to stretch this game out a little longer. “Well I’m not one to brag, but let’s be honest and admit I’m the most handsome man here.” Cassian gave Nesta a taunting grin. “Luckily I found the most charming woman here to spend my evening with.” 

“How do you know my name?” Nesta bit out in a harsh tone. 

Cassian paused. Taking a long moment to drink his beer before responding. “I make it a point to know a pretty lady’s name. That and your sister told me.” 

Nesta was silent. Cassian became aware of the feral glint that appeared in her eyes. “So why are you here and she’s not?” Her voice took on a lethal calmness as her eyes turned sharply toward his. 

“I’m here to charm you my dear,” Cassian drawled, waving a hand between the two of them, “and considering how you checked me out earlier I would say it's going splendidly.” 

Nesta snorted. Arrogant overconfident bastard. Someone ought to put him in his place. “I assume that’s what you think, but I am not some simpering girl who you can easily charm at a bar.” She assessed him again looking up and down disdainfully. “Actually you know what would be charming? You leaving and me never seeing your face again.” 

Cassian chuckled. “You really know how to make a guy feel special don’t you Nesta?” He took another drink as Nesta fumed beside him. He couldn’t help but think that she looked cute with her cheeks turning scarlet and her lips pursing enough to draw his eyes to the redness of them. 

She noticed his averted attention and reached for her purse that rested on the bar. 

“So eager to give me your number?” Cassian had downed almost half of his pint by this point. 

Nesta pulled out some bills to pay for her drink before standing up. “Obviously Feyre is not coming considering she is over 30 minutes late,” Nesta grabbed her purse as the bartender collected his money. “And I am not staying to deal with the brute she sent instead.” 

Cassian turned in his stool to face her completely. “Leaving so soon? Nesta we haven’t even began to have fun yet.” His eyes were playful and suggestive. His grin baited her to do something. Anything.

Nesta scowled. “I am not interested. Nor will I ever be in a bastards whose egos are big enough that it would give the entire city of Prythian a run for its money.” There were enough men in this city that thought they could do whatever they wanted while ruining other people in the process. Nesta shivered from a harsh memory that flashed in her mind.

A time when she thought she could trust someone. A time when she thought she was strong enough to take on anything the world threw at her. She vividly remembered the moment when those beliefs were shattered with a night filled with terror. She refused to be put in a situation like that again. 

Cassian narrowed his eyes in confusion. Nesta’s once fierce glare became clouded in another emotion. Fear. 

A wave of anger began to boil in Cassian’s gut and flow through his hand that gripped his glass. Maybe there was a reason behind Nesta’s viciousness that stemmed from something that Cassian was afraid to consider. He knew that look though. He had seen it too many times to people who didn't deserve the pain they were dealt. 

Cassian silently reached for his wallet in his back pocket. Nesta thought he was going to write down his number on a scrap piece of paper, but then she saw him rifling through bills. 

“I want to pay for your cab,” Cassian explained when he saw her puzzled look. “I was supposed to be here at 6, but got caught up in work so take the money for a ride back home.” 

Nesta shook her head and refused the offer. “I'm not taking money from a stranger.” 

Cassian blinked. He completely forgot to introduce himself as he was caught up in his time with Nesta. He stood up and his tall form made Nesta take a step back as his body neared her at his movement. Too close. So close they brushed arms as he rose to his full height. 

“Cassian,” he reached out a hand for her to shake which surprisingly she did, but only for one brief moment. Her slender hand became engulfed in Cassian’s calloused warm grasp. Nesta released his hand quickly as if burned by the heat while Cassian merely smiled. Curiosity filled his eyes as he watched her reaction.

Nesta tipped her head back to look up into his eyes. She didn’t cower under his searching gaze that seemed to burn with something more than amusement. 

“Well Cassian,” Nesta gave a tiny nod of acknowledgement. “I’m leaving.” 

With that she turned and walked away not noticing Cassian watching her the whole way out the bar and onto the street. She didn’t look back, but Cassian was hooked. This woman shut him down in a matter of minutes, but already he was looking forward to another encounter. Another chance to beat her at this game. He sat back down at the bar while pulling out his phone to text Rhysand. 

 **The date went well.**  

_Really? Are you sure you met the right girl?_

**It was Nesta all right. You were right about her attitude** _._

 _Feyre and I warned you. So I take it if it went well you still have all your limbs attached._  

Cassian couldn’t help, but imagine Nesta sitting on the bar stool with that fierce expression on her face. He chuckled before responding back to Rhys. 

 **Well there is one limb in particular that is especially interested, but yeah I think Feyre should invite her sisters on our next group outing.**  

_First off I would watch that limb of yours around Nesta. You are bound to lose it if you don’t mind yourself. Second, are you seriously that into her Cassian? Feyre doesn’t want you and Nesta killing each other over your constant flirtations. If Nesta wasn’t into you then let it go. (I highly doubt she took you up on an offer for a second date.)_

**Rhys, trust me, I am not giving up yet. I have a good feeling about this**

Nesta was interested. Cassian thought back to her heated glance as she looked over his body and the faint flush on her cheeks. 

 **I just need to see where it goes. If all else fails it’s her loss.**  

 _Fine. But you better know what you're getting yourself into._  

Cassian sat at the bar reading the last text. _What was he getting himself into?_ He knew Nesta didn’t appear overly interested, but he could see in her eyes that there was something between them. It was brief, but the moment was there. Now all he could think of was when he would see her next and more importantly what he would say to her in order to bring out that fiery look that drew him in. 

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

Nesta inhaled the city air as she walked swiftly down the street to the subway station. She kept thinking back to that man - Cassian. 

 _Cassian…_  

She huffed out a breath in aggravation. _Who does he think he is? A bastard that can’t seem to mind his own business apparently._  

Nesta continued on her way until she remembered that somehow Feyre was involved in this situation. _When I see her again…_

A quick text message was sent to Feyre. It blatantly explained that the barbarian she sent to the bar in her stead, better watch himself on the streets if Nesta catches him walking by and that Feyre better have a damn good reason why she sent him to meet her. 

Minutes passed by. And Nesta's hand was still warm from the touch left behind by Cassian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in the Nessian ship on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	2. Archeron Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta, Elain and Feyre are eating dinner together when Feyre mentions that Nesta should take up boxing. It doesn't take long for Nesta to warm up to the idea and agree to be trained. Feyre though has another plan up her sleeve for she knows just the perfect boxing trainer for the job.

At the kitchen in Feyre and Mor’s apartment there was a small gathering. Elain and Nesta had decided to come over and visit with their younger sister. Feyre stood in front of the stove flipping grilled cheese sandwiches. The Archeron sisters were not well versed in the art of culinary. Each sister could operate a microwave and cook simple meals, but that was the extent of most of their knowledge. Nesta had been trying to learn more dishes, but most turned into burning fails causing Nesta to furiously throw out the inedible food. Needless to say most meals were simple if made by an Archeron or take-out was usually on the menu.

“How are classes Elain?” Feyre asked as she flipped a grilled cheese sandwich onto a paper plate.

“They're going well,” Elain replied. “I'm actually thinking about trying to use pumpkins as compost this fall. A chapter in my horticulture book has a section about the process.”

Feyre nodded knowing that her sister’s green thumb was sure to accomplish the task. “Sounds interesting. Maybe we can go shopping for pumpkins this year then when we both have time off of work.”

Elain gave Feyre a small smile at the thought of them hanging out together for what could be their first family outing in years. Each month the three sister’s always met for one evening to eat dinner and catch up on what the others were doing. For Nesta and Elain, who lived together, it was more for the benefit of Feyre who lived with her friend Mor. These meetings were brief. Maybe two hours at the most. Elain hoped that they could become closer despite the distance that had expanded between them.

“That’s  _if_ you can take time out of your busy schedule.” Nesta looked up at Feyre who had finished setting the sandwiches on separate plates. Feyre and Nesta exchanged stares that set Elain on edge.

_Not even here for 15 minutes and they are already standing off._

“So how is your time at the museum Feyre?” Elain tried to diffuse the situation before it became something more. Feyre and Nesta hadn’t been in a full blown bickering match for months, but the tension was palpable around them.

Feyre sat at the table and passed around the meager meal. She ignored Nesta’s comment, but answered Elain. “It’s been good. I love working at the museum and studying there.”

“That’s great to hear. Maybe one day you can give us a tour since you're sure know it like the back of your hand. Right Nesta?”

Nesta, who was looking at the grilled cheese sandwich as though it might come alive, looked up at Elain. “Sure, I am would be happy to go to the museum and look at paint splatters on a canvas.” Nesta was saying the words simply, because she knew they would press Feyre's buttons. This was payback for her little stunt she pulled with the man at the bar.

Feyre's smile turned deadly. “I’m sure it’s better than seeing food splatters everyday at a restaurant.”

Nesta turned her sight on Feyre. A gleam in her eye that hinted trouble.

“So!” Elain interrupted in order to get a handle on the situation. “Maybe you’ll be surprised and like the museum Nesta!”

“Speaking of surprises,” Nesta narrowed her eyes at Feyre. “What was with that so called _surprise_ you had waiting for me at the bar Feyre.”

Feyre smiled like a wolf that made off with a flock of sheep. “Surprise? All I asked was if you could meet at the bar. I never said I would be the one to show up.”

“It was definitely assumed Feyre and if your goal was to make me angry then you succeeded.”

Elain looked between the two of them with a puzzled expression. “Anyone want to explain what you’re talking about?”

“Feyre here,” Nesta jabbed a thumb in Feyre’s direction, “Decided to send a brute of a man to meet me instead of her after I got off work last week.”

“Wait? The same guy you mentioned when you got back home last week?” Elain recalled how frustrated her sister was that evening when she got home. Nesta had furiously cleaned the home while muttering under her breath about some ‘cocky bastard’ if Elain had heard correctly.

“It seems like Cassian made an impression on you,” Feyre sipped a glass of water that barely hid her smile.

“Wait a minute?” Elain gasped. “Were you on a date Nesta?”

“What?!” Nesta screeched. “No! It would be too soon if I ever saw his face again.”

“Oh come on Nesta,” Feyre said. “Was he that bad?”

Nesta’s answering glare caused Feyre to laugh.

“Ok so Cassian’s…quite a character, but he honestly means no harm Nesta.” Feyre took another bite into her meal.

“Well I don’t want to waste my time. I’d rather be with the dogs at the shelter then meeting some random guys at a bar.”

Feyre and Elain both looked at each other. For some reason Nesta had a deep aversion to dating. In fact she seemed to harbor some sort of anger toward men in general these past few months. The sisters knew Nesta dated her high school boyfriend for a few years. Six months ago she suddenly announced they had broken up. She didn’t elaborate, but Feyre had an inkling feeling that Thomas was the reason. Feyre had warned Nesta about Thomas. What he was capable of, but Feyre wasn’t sure if that was the reason for their break-up. _And for Thomas' sake he better not have harmed Nesta._

“Weren’t you signing up for some martial arts class though?” Elain asked. “I thought you were going to make time at least once a week to go?”

Nesta shrugged. “I would, but they were already filled since sign-ups started in the summer.”

“You're signing up for self-defense?” Feyre looked more closely at her eldest sister. _Now that is something I never expected._

Nests assessed what she should say before settling with an vague truth and shrug. “I want to work out more, but in a more useful way. I want to be able to put my exercise toward a purpose that can help me in the future if I need it.”

Elain looked puzzled, but Feyre saw an opportunity.

“I know a place,” Feyre said. Nesta gave her an apprehensive glance, but that didn't deter Feyre. “It’s boxing, so it may not be your cup of tea, but a friend of mine goes every week and they know the teachers there.”

“I don’t know anything about boxing,” Nesta began.

“But isn’t that how everyone starts off?” Elain said after taking a bite of her sandwich. “You can’t know everything from the beginning.”

“Are you interested Nesta?” Feyre watched her sister process the opportunity.

“Sure, might as well since I already planned on taking time off for it.” Nesta didn’t know if she would like boxing, but at least it was some sort of training she could use so she wouldn’t be defenseless again.She would prepare herself if she was ever forced to defend herself again.

“You should go on Thursday. That would be the best day since that’s when the gym will be the least busy.” Feyre was already making plans in her mind. She knew a certain boxer who would be more than happy to help Nesta train. That is if they don’t kill each first.

Nesta contemplated her schedule in her head. “I can switch my hours of work around so I work the early shift on Thursday and that leaves my afternoon free.

“Sounds like you will have it sorted out,” Elain spoke until she sighed in delight at the sandwich. “I swear Feyre you always make the best grilled cheese!”

Nesta nodded her head in agreement which momentarily stunned Feyre, but she was glad for the praise. “Thanks Elain. That means a lot considering it’s about the only thing I can make on the stove.”

All three girls laughed at that. Two hours later Nesta and Elain said their goodbyes while Feyre confirmed Nesta would start boxing classes in two weeks once she changed her schedule at the restaurant.

After the two sisters left, Feyre pulled out her phone and texted her boxing friend. The gym was about to get _a lot_ more interesting when Nesta would arrive and see just who would be teaching her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in the Nessian ship on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	3. Boxing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta is on her way to meet her boxing trainer for the first time. How will she react when it's Cassian who is going to be her trainer? And how is Cassian going to fare against Nesta?

The sidewalk was much less populated this far north of Prythian compared to the downtown area that Nesta was coming from. Work was easy-going today with the lunch shift. She should have figured that would happen since most of the crowds came to the restaurant for evening meals. 

_No wonder I got stuck with all the evening shifts when I started working there over a year ago._

After work Nesta already had a workout bag in the employee break room to take with her to the gym. Once 4 p.m. rolled around Nesta clocked out as scheduled and went to change into casual attire so she could take the subway to the northern part of the city. The crowds were terrible due to the location of the high-end restaurant in Prythian’s busy central, but luckily the crowds thinned as the subway carted passengers further away from the bustling area of the city. 

When Nesta’s stop arrived she got off and continued her journey on foot using her phone’s GPS to help guide her to the gym. It was almost 5 p.m. by the time Nesta arrived. She was supposed to be there for training at 5:30 p.m., but Feyre had texted her saying she should try to get there 20 minutes early to change and warm-up. 

Outside the building was a sign that read ‘Illyrian Gym’. This was the place. Nesta opened the door and saw two sparring rings, varying workout equipment along the walls and a small welcome desk area. A few men in sweaty shirts were in the room talking to each other, but Feyre had told Nesta that her trainer would be waiting for her once she arrived. 

“You look lost girl,” A man’s voice said in a mocking undertone from behind the desk. “If you're looking for the boutiques you would have better luck elsewhere.” 

Nesta turned to man. He was tall with brown hair and eyes full of scorn. He looked at Nesta as though she was filth dragged in from off the street. 

She had to stop herself from baring her teeth. “My name’s Nesta and I am here to train.” 

The man laughed. A laugh that made Nesta think she was out of the loop on a joke about her. She was already starting to dislike this stranger to a high extent. 

“No one would train you here,” the man said. “So I suggest you be a good little girl and head on home.” 

Nesta gripped the strap of her duffel bag tightly. “I came here to train and was told I could.” 

“Well I’m telling you no.” The man walked around the desk and stood off against Nesta. Despite his tallness Nesta was not going to back down. 

“Why not?” She bit out. “Is there some rule saying I can’t?” 

The man looked about ready to tell her off again when a voice interrupted their stand-off. 

“Devlon! Are you harassing my student?” A familiar voice approached from another room where Nesta could hear the clang of heavy weights. 

Nesta peeked around Devlon and immediately regretted coming here at the sight that greeted her. The man from the bar last month was approaching her. 

 _Cassian. That’s his name._  

Nesta recalled him from her memory. Along with the fact that he had attempted to flirt with her. In the brighter lighting of the gym she could tell his features were more handsome than she had first assumed during their brief meeting at the bar. _More handsome than she cared to admit with his hair pulled back in a tight bun with a few thick dark strands falling out around his ears._

Cassian passed by the sparring rings and grinned at Nesta. His smile blatantly teasing het. A smile signaling to Nesta that he hadn’t forgotten their first encounter. 

_You’ve got to be kidding me. Feyre couldn’t mean my trainer would be Cassian!_

_○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○_

When Cassian arrived at the gym at 4 p.m.  he only had about one hour until Nesta arrived. The spitfire of a woman who made an impression that Cassian wouldn’t forget. His kept thinking back to those moments of that time spent in the bar. It didn’t matter where he was or what he was doing. She always seemed to invade his thoughts. 

_Hell when I was grocery shopping in the pasta aisle I couldn’t help but wonder if Nesta was a mostaccioli or farfalle noodle type of person._

Cassian pulled his attention back to the present and went to his locker in the back room. He already wore gym clothes, but he needed to arrange his locker to make room for the extra gear he had packed in his duffel bag.

As Cassian wrapped his hands he debated whether having their second encounter in the gym was a good idea. He subtly asked Feyre if she could arrange another meeting. He didn’t want everyone knowing that he had an interest in Nesta. He could already imagine the teasing from Mor and Amren if they found out. Of course Rhysand knew and that meant he wouldn’t keep this secret from his girlfriend. When Feyre told Cassian to man-up and ask Feyre out himself Cassian grudgingly had to admit to Feyre that he didn’t get Nesta’s contact information during the brief encounter he had with her. Feyre, blessed wing-girl she is, was able to convince Nesta that she should do self-defense classes at Illyrian Gym. Thus giving Cassian the opportunity he needed.

He finished wrapping his hands and went to stretch and warm-up before Nesta arrived. He was still intrigued over the way she had been dismissive toward him. Most of the time women were happy to converse with him and have fun afterwards in bed if both he and the woman were agreeable. 

But Nesta was immune to his charms and damn if that didn’t make Cassian more interested. The bite of her words latched onto an inner part of him that was undoubtedly some sort of attraction. Cassian wasn’t sure if he should smother that feeling or let it burn brighter and engulf him in all that was Nesta. 

Cassian ached for another round with the beautiful Nesta. Despite their first, tense meeting almost one month ago, Cassian was anticipating the moment to see her walk through the doors. He would never admit it aloud though. 

An hour passed by while Cassian warmed up and tried not to think too much about what would happen when Nesta arrived. She was sure to be surprised to see his face and pissed when she found out he was her trainer. 

He glanced at the clock and noticed it 5 p.m. Nesta would be here any minute. Cassian walked past other men lifting weights. He entered the large main room served as both sparring area and entrance. He heard a familiar feminine voice at the front of the building. 

“Is there some rule saying I can’t?” Nesta questioned Devlon, a prick who sought to push other’s down and demean them if he thought they were weak enough. 

Cassian had to check himself before he said something he might regret. It was obvious Devlon was trying to scare Nesta off like he usually did when most newcomers come in. 

“Devlon! Are you harassing my student?” Cassian captured Devlon and Nesta’s attention. Cassian overlooked Devlon’s annoyed expression. Instead he set his sights on Nesta. 

Her shocked expression was gone in a flash replaced by a slightly confused frown. 

Cassian smirked. _Let’s see how you fare this round Nesta._

Her eyes immediately narrowed. The battle had begun. 

“Glad to see you made it Nesta,” Cassian greeted. Devlon crossed his arms with a demeaning look at Cassian. “Sorry you had to deal with sunshine over here,” Cassian jerked his head at Devlon whose expression turned darker in aggravation. 

“I think she’s lost her way Cassian,” Devlon gritted out. “We don’t train girls here.” 

“No _you_ just refuse to train girls,” Cassian faced Devlon. “And last I checked you didn’t own the gym or maybe I somehow missed that when I was busy training the students _you_ were supposed to be handling these past weeks.” 

The two men glared at each other. It was obvious to Nesta that there was rough history between the two. Either way she didn’t want to be in the middle of a male ego fight. 

“I should go if you two are going to get into a pissing match,” Nesta turned to leave before Cassian’s voice stopped her. 

“Wait. There’s no sense to leave just because sunshine here can’t learn manners.” Cassian nodded to the back where lockers and bathrooms were. “Let’s put your stuff up and warm-up.” 

Nesta wanted to argue, but she wanted to make Devlon regret trying to bully her. Nesta followed Cassian and smiled sweetly at Devlon as they passed. “It was nice to meet you,” she said to irk the man further. Pleased that his face turned red with fury. _Serves you right sexist jerk._

Cassian showed Nesta where to put her bag and directed her to the women's changing room. Once she was in shorts and a t-shirt she walked out to see Cassian waiting against the wall. His leaning body accented his torso muscles and the strength of his calves had when he righted himself at her approach. 

“Are you seriously a trainer here or is this some joke Feyre is pulling?” Nesta asked. Cassian’s considerable height towered over Nesta to the point she had to crane her neck to look up at him. 

“I’m one of the best trainers here Nesta. And as far as I know of this being a joke I can guarantee you that Feyre was honest in sending you here to learn boxing.” 

Nesta let out a mirthless chuckle. “I’m not trusting Feyre considering all the stunts she has pulled lately.” 

“If you actually gave her chance instead of putting her down then maybe you would see differently Nesta.” Cassian knew of the animosity between the sisters and couldn’t understand how Nesta didn’t see the sacrifices Feyre had made for her family. For Rhysand who was so broken until Feyre entered his life. 

Nesta narrowed her eyes. “I didn’t come to be badgered by someone who doesn’t know anything about what’s going on.”

Cassian had to keep himself from rolling his eyes. He knew plenty about what Feyre had to give up and the lack of help that came from her older sisters.        

“Fine. Let’s see how you fare in today’s lesson then.” Cassian led them to a vacated room with more punching bags and workout equipment then the main room. “First I want you to go through the warm-up and then we'll get to the fun part.” 

Nesta wondered if his meaning of fun meant torture for her. She said nothing else and moved onto stretching. She ignored Cassian who was busy adjusting some of the equipment nearby.  She failed notice the quick glances Cassian gave her when she was occupied with her stretching exercises. 

He looked back to make sure she was properly stretching. It would be her luck to pull something during the workout. Cassian adjusted the weights while taking note of the way Nesta would bend and reach in the midst of one stretch in particular. Her shirt wasn’t tight, but it was evident that she was a thinner build than Feyre. Her slender arms went across her chest to loosen the muscles. The movement caught his eye and he glanced at her generous breasts set against her arm as she continued stretching. Cassian turned his attention back to the weights not wanting to be distracted from the task at hand. And Nesta’s breasts were definitely a distraction. 

 “Okay what next?” Nesta stood up after finishing her leg stretches. 

“First I want to see what we're working with,” Cassian directed Nesta to the weights hoping to take his mind away from her form. She didn't say anything about how his voice had lowered slightly. And for that Cassian was relieved.  “We’ll start off easy and add more weights the stronger you get.” 

Nesta complied and went through a series of different machines to gauge the strength of her arms and legs. Cassian spotted for her to make sure the weights didn’t fall back and crush her. She hated that he stood so close to her though. Her head was right in front of his crotch and Nesta struggled not to shove the weights against his manhood as he looked down at her with an easy smile He was enjoying himself far too much in Nesta's opinion.

 Cassian’s hands were slightly raised and ready beneath the bar should she need his help. His hazel eyes carefully watching her as she lifted the weights and eased them back down toward her chest. He would smile and tell her ‘good job’ and ‘keep going’, which made her tense. She didn’t want his praise nor did she need it. 

Being here was strain enough on her already and she was trying to keep herself composed so as not to give Cassian more ammunition in this war they were in. She wasn’t about to lose to him, but she couldn’t help her wandering thoughts. 

Nesta grudgingly had to admit that Cassian had been on her mind occasionally over the past few weeks. Most of the time it led to her wishing she could have smacked that smirk he wore off his face when they were at the bar. But another thought would twist into her. Something akin to wanting to know if the taunt muscles in his arms were pliant to her touch. A light flush broke across her cheeks at the delirious thought, but she hoped Cassian would only think it was caused by the strain of the workout. 

Their close proximity allowed Nesta to see just how muscular Cassian was. She let out a frustrated breath. Why couldn't she push away this...whatever this was?

“Having trouble Nesta?” Cassian leaned over her slightly. That damned smile just eating up the situation as she struggled to focus on the weights and not his body being so near.

A small bead of sweat rolled down her forehead and traveled down her neck until it disappeared under the collar of her shirt. Cassian’s hazel eyes followed the trail and Nesta could have sworn she saw desire flicker across his focused fixation. 

“Here I was,” Nesta said with an icy tone overtaking her voice, “thinking that you are having trouble concentrating.” 

Cassian’s eyes darted to hers. He stared at her while she returned his stare. 

He stood up straighter as his temper suddenly flared. Angry with both himself and the way her words cut his thoughts. _Sharp like a blade – that’s exactly what she was._

He smiled, slow and ready to play this game. He knew the smile always got her riled up. A smile that would bring out her claws he had heard so much about and had already gotten a taste of. 

“Then maybe we should move onto something…more interesting.” 

Nesta's face held no reaction as she set the weights down with a clang. Nostrils flaring as she sat up. He could practically hear her mind running through various insults to hurl his way. 

Before she could get a word out Cassian walked to the duffel bag he had brought in with them. He pulled out a pair of boxing gloves and hand wraps. 

“Alright Nesta let’s see you if can throw a punch as well as you throw words around.” 

The golden sheen of Nesta’s hair pulled back shone when she angled her head toward him. Sizing him up as an opponent. Anticipating finally having a chance to beat that smug smile off his face. 

Cassian knew what her intentions were the moment her eyes narrowed on him. Granted he would love to tussle with Nesta and get her underneath him, but that wasn’t on the agenda today. _Not unless she initiated it._ He merely gestured to the punching bags and said, “With the bag Nesta.” 

“Don’t think I can handle myself?” Nesta asked. Fiercely taking the wrap from his hands while avoiding skin contact. 

“More like you’re not ready yet.” Cassian watched Nesta wrapped her hands. A botchy job at that considering the fabric was too loose around the knuckles. “Here give me your hand.” Cassian reached to help wrap her hands properly. 

Blue-gray eyes flicked to him. “I’ve got it.” 

“No," Cassian disagreed. "With that poor excuse of an attempt your wrappings will be falling off in minutes.” 

“Better my wrappings fall off than your fingers if you try to touch me.” 

Cassian rolled his eyes. _This damn woman was going to push him over the edge of sanity._ “It’s your hands that will suffer once we get done with this last exercise.” 

Nesta said nothing. She continued to poorly wrap the other hand as well, which irked Cassian as he handed her the gloves. He led her to a punching bag and ran through a few steps with her on how to correctly punch. He added that if she ever somehow found herself in a fight it was best to first try to avoid a confrontation and leave before any punches were thrown. 

Nesta raised a brow. “I may not know a lot about fighting, but I’m pretty sure the point is to hit the other person.” 

Cassian took a few steps back as she started her punching exercises. “True, but a good fighter knows that not every battle is worth it.” 

Her eyes flicked over him in a slow sweep that might have had lesser men cowering. “Or the weak ones.” She turned away from him. Dismissing him. And continued her punching. 

Cassian stiffened. “Does that make _you_ weak Nesta when you hide behind your words and bad attitude?” 

Her head snapped up. A mark being hit deep within her. 

“Why should I bother to explain myself,” Nesta said with frigid lethality and turned to punch the bag, “to a man who is so filled with his own sense of importance there’s barely enough space in the room for his giant head?” 

Cassian blinked and stalked to her with long strides eating the distance between them. She didn’t yield or back down one step. She lifted her chin to meet his stare as he towered over her. 

“Do you want to train Nesta or keep talking?” 

“Maybe if you would actually train me instead of cowing me with your words and proceeding to taunt me through your massive hulking size we could actually finish this.” 

“ _Hulking –_ ” 

“I suggest you check yourself and behave nicely.” 

Cassian did something else.

He took a step closer, placing his hand on the punching bag and gripping the chain firmly. He was close enough to catch her scent. A mix of sweat and something surprisingly sweet and delicious wafted from her body. Cassian could hardly focus as he trained his eyes on hers rather than let his own roll back into his head. Mother above it took everything to keep himself poised instead of sinking his face into the crook of her neck and shoulder. Where that line of sweat had rolled down earlier. He now wanted to follow that line with his tongue instead of his gaze. The crook of her neck beckoned him forward as he tried to keep from approaching closer. From _touching_ her.

This time around Nesta did not blush as he held that distance between them. Perhaps the alcohol and the warmth of the bar had caused her to blush last time. _But still…_  

 Cassian tried to read her face that was only a hand’s span away now. He wondered if any man had gotten this close and lived to tell the tale. _Or if a man had been much closer._ He shouldn’t have cared, or wondered. It made no difference to him, but…he still couldn’t read her like he could with others. Cassian couldn’t read Nesta at all and so he tempted fate by leaning closer. His stray strands of dark hair slid over his brow, and purred, “There are other ways I could play nice Nesta Archeron.” 

This man – Cassian – was dangerous. 

She expected it in the way he was: tall, muscled and skilled at pissing her off far more easily than others did. What made Cassian more dangerous than most were those hazel eyes that were always assessing every moment. 

She held his gaze as she counted her breaths. She had to distract him and what better way to do that than with barbed words she had come to hone for most of her life. 

“If I wanted someone pawing at me,” Nesta said turning to the punching bag and giving it a another punch, “I’d sooner go to the animal shelter and ask one of the dogs.” 

Cassian’s smile remained. He decided to keep testing their waters. “Have you ever _been_ with a man, Nesta?” 

She debated telling him a lie. Instead she threw the question back to buy time. “Have _you_?” 

Cassian chuckled the breath hitting her cheek. “I asked first sweetheart. Unless of course you prefer women.” 

Nesta pushed away from the punching bag and tore off her gloves. Wrap already unraveling from her hand as she turned to him. She placed a brazen hand on his chest causing him to go still. She felt firm and taut muscles lying beneath his shirt and his warmth seeped into her palm despite the wrappings around it. 

Fire – he was fire made of flesh. 

She gently pushed on his chest, seeing how her hand was smaller against his broad chest.

 Cassian straightened as she took another step closer. 

“Who and what I prefer is not your concern or business.” 

“Avoiding the question Nesta?”

“Does it matter?”

“Another question?” His arrogance seeped through in the cocky grin he gave her. 

Nesta brushed her body pass him with barely a whisper of a touch and she felt him stiffen. She ignored the way his pupils had almost devoured his hazel irises and tossed the gloves near his bag. “No, I haven’t been with anyone.” That was the truth. 

She turned to look at him. Planning on cutting him to ribbons with her next words. “Why should I when I was surrounded by brutes and bastards in my hometown. And not much as changed since I arrived in Prythian. I’d rather use my own hand than taint myself with theirs.” 

Cassian’s amusement was doused. Good. She couldn’t stand it if another person tried to take her for some weakling to be stepped on. The thought reminded her too much of the time she was dating Thomas from high school. Feyre had warned her about Thomas’ hateful father that beat his wife and how Thomas did nothing to stop it. Nesta never thought her and Thomas would have a future due to their differences. Thomas was the only person she had ever dated and she had only ever let him kiss her. That was the farthest they got. What Nesta would allow. Then the day when she had ended it, he’d… 

She swallowed, closing herself off from the memory of what he said and done. The sound of him ripping her shirt. He didn’t get farther than that when in a blind terror Nesta screamed and clawed at him. Her fingers were bloody after she finally managed to free herself, but she never told anyone. 

Cassian saw her expression shift into something he had never seen on her face, as she was lost in thought. Fear dimmed her eyes and it set him into a rage that burned through his veins. 

“Who.” Cassian ground out almost making it impossible for Nesta to understand. Nesta noticed her mistake when Cassian’s face was stilled into a fierce expression making her realize she had lost the upper hand in her weakness. 

She despised Thomas, and hated him to the point she wished he would one day be hit by a car, but even Nesta, who barely knew Cassian, could tell that a car would be more merciful than Cassian. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nesta made to move to the door, but Cassian stopped her in a few steps and gripped her hand. His hold was tight, but the warmth gave an odd sense of comfort for Nesta after her chilling memory. He pulled her closer, gently, but she still braced her free hand on his chest. Above the heart that was galloping wildly underneath it. 

“Did someone hurt you,” his voice was deathly quiet. 

“Would it make you look at me differently? Treat me as though I was helpless?” Nesta wouldn’t stand it. She didn’t want pity. His calluses scraped against her soft skin as he held on tighter. 

“I’d make them wish they never hurt you. They would see what would happen when all their bones are broken.” 

A dark undertone of that promise made Nesta’s knees almost quiver. Not in fear, but that his the words were sincere and true. 

“Like I said earlier. You don’t know me so why bother?” 

He blinked at her. With a taming breath he inched closer. “I’d do it for anyone.” 

Nesta was utterly unnerved by the statement. How far Cassian would truly go for someone that needed help. And here she had let her family fall into a dark depth that caused Feyre to step up and try to save the family. Nesta didn’t want Elain or Feyre to suffer like they had. She wanted her mother to return to them or their father to finally stop gambling their money away and causing them to go hungry and cold for days on end. 

All that time Nesta had built walls. Walls that would prevent her from feeling all the emotions that flooded as she perceived what others felt. It was something she was quite good at – but the overload of those moments – sifting through them was tasking. She felt things too much when she should be distant. Seeing a homeless puppy always made her tear-up and want to give it a home she never felt she had. A loving home full of warmth and being cherished despite rough beginnings. 

The only time Nesta ever felt threatened that someone could see past her walls was when Cassian abruptly entered her life one month ago. His bright eyes seemed to peer into depths of herself that she never wanted someone else to see. And now he was somehow able to find the part of her that no one did. A frightened weak girl who barely escaped her attacker. Walls. Walls were her defense. And she needed to prevent Cassian from getting through them. 

Cassian’s hand gentled and his thumb began soothing strokes across her knuckles. From another room they heard the clang of a weight being loudly dropped. Breaking them from the moment. 

She broke her stare and he parted his mouth to say something, but stopped. 

Cassian slowly leaned forward. Giving Nesta enough time to move away, but instead she took a deep breath as if about ready to take a dive. She tilted her head to him and his nose grazed her throat. His lips were the next thing on her neck as he felt her pulse beating softly with each passing second. 

_Nesta._

Cassian was fully caught up in this woman and how she had him wanting so much more. One moment he wanted to throttle her like she had first wanted, but now, after seeing the terror break across her face, he wanted to hold her. Protect her. Stand by her side. 

When she offered her neck he was gone. The access to her throat that she had given him set him on a path where instincts fought to take over. Cassian had to push them down and smother them before he found himself begging for more than she would possibly be willing to offer. But the temptation to get on his knees and implore her for anything was strong. 

Instead he directed his lips to her neck and found her skin was soft and fragile. He inhaled deeply that scent he had caught earlier off of her. He could feel the stirring of desire between his legs. 

_Nesta._

She let out a breathless sound as his lips traveled higher. He felt her hand on his chest grip his shirt tighter. He desperately tried to steer his thoughts away from imagining her hand gripping other parts of his body. Or how she would stroke him. 

 _Nesta._  

He kissed under her jaw. Tempted to give her a tender lick as he felt her heartbeat fluttering against his chest. Her breasts pressed against him felt so right. He wanted to feel her there. Hold her in his hands and nuzzle until she begged for something more. Something he would be glad to give her. 

His tongue barely grazed the spot he had just kissed. That brief moment where he got a small taste was shattered as she jerked away with a gasp. 

She almost fell over some weights before Cassian steadied her with his grip. 

The silence was quickly filled by Cassian. He had to get a word in before she tossed the acidic words she was no doubt searching for. 

“Maybe those stretches didn’t help. You still seem to be wound a bit tight Nesta.” 

She pulled away from him and growled, “Do you always try to get the girl with this so called “training” ploy?” 

Cassian laughed. He had never brought a girl here before that he was remotely interested in. Until Nesta of course, but she wanted to be trained in the first place. “No. I should be flattered you think my training would lead to results like this.” 

Nesta glared, but released a brief chuckle. “Well then,” she strode to the door as Cassian watched her every movement. “If that’s what your training is, then I doubt many of your students are satisfied.”

Cassian gritted his teeth to prevent him from calling her a bitch. “From what I could tell you were enjoying it Nesta.” He followed her and noticed her posture stiffen. Her walls going up swiftly as she could build them. 

He shouldn’t care. Why _should_ he? He had enough on his plate with work and training students at the gym. Throwing Nesta into the mix was bound to make him crazy if he hadn’t already reached that point. Then trying to explain this to his friends. 

  He didn’t want to think about Mor. The history between them was rife with mistakes after that one time they slept together. It almost ruined their friendship between them and also with Azriel. Cassian regretted that day when he saw the look on his best friend’s face when he found out. Azriel had loved Mor since they first met and Cassian couldn’t stand the way Mor glanced at him and how Azriel began drifting away from the friendship with Rhys and Cassian. 

When Mor approached him wanting to have sex, he didn’t refuse. And when he discovered she had been a virgin wanting to have sex just to spite her family and their strict rules…Cassian resented what he had done.

Since then Mor never approached him again. And Azriel never made a move toward Mor. 

Cassian went on to have other lovers and Mor never cared. 

With Nesta though he couldn’t see himself approaching Mor about it. Didn’t want Mor to know about the way he had touched Nesta’s neck.

Nesta stopped in front of him and he stopped as well before he ran into her. She turned around swift as an adder to face him directly. “Maybe you need to be trained to learn some manners brute.” 

Cassian’s words were sharp in reply. “And maybe you need someone to help you with your manners sweetheart.”

“Well it certainly wouldn’t be from a bastard like you.” Her words went flying and struck Cassian like a serrated blade. 

He drawled, “What a fine partner you turned out to be. Maybe if you read up some more on those manners you talk so much about then maybe you can stand a chance against me.” 

Nothing in return, but a flat stare with cold eyes. 

“Because what I see Nesta is you hiding behind your words and attitude to keep everyone away. How you failed and didn’t care until it was too late.” 

Her gaze turned vicious and the lustful moment from minutes ago was gone from her steely gaze.

“You’re just a bored and spoiled girl -,” 

Nesta aimed a quick kick toward Cassian’s groin. He managed to barely capture her knee before it hit him in his balls. The squeeze he gave her knee was tight enough to make her hiss. 

“Going for cheap shots,” he said with a half smile. “If you want to play with me Nesta I’ll teach you much more interesting ways to bring a man to his knees.” 

He held tight has she struggled to free herself. She finally steadied herself enough to wrench her knee free. 

Cassian grinned at her as she clenched her fists. She shot forward with her hands and he thought for sure those fists were going straight for his face. They did. But not how he ever expected. He gripped her wrists, but found her hands opening to land on the sides of his face steadily. She brought his head closer. So close he felt her breath upon his lips. His own breathing turned jagged as her eyes flickered to his mouth. He felt her body make contact with his as they were flush against each other. Her breasts and softness pushed against his firm body. 

Cassian dared not look away from her lips as she rose up on her toes. Closer. He was lost in Nesta as her mouth neared his – 

And pain between his legs shattered the moment. Cassian stumbled against a set of weights on a shelf as he tried to breathe back in the air that was knocked from his lungs. Her damn knee had found its target. 

Cassian swore savagely as he staggered to sit on the closest machine. She snorted, looking down at him as he collapsed onto the padded spot of the machine, clutching his stomach as he tried to get a grasp on his brain. 

“Everyone one of you is the same,” she unraveled what was left of the wraps from her hands. “You’re so predictable.” 

“You,” he wheezed. 

Nesta chuckled deeply and her lips – those lips Cassian had been ready to feel, to taste – _he was prepared to devour her._  

“If we are done here I have other things to take care.” Nesta breezed toward the door and left.

Cassian gritted his teeth as the pain prevented him from standing. He wanted – _What did he want?_  

Nesta appeared again by the door. Her bag from the locker strapped over her shoulder. She didn’t even spare time to change into her other clothes. 

She paused watching Cassian willing his legs to stand. “You know nothing about who I am, what I’ve done and what I want.” She waited a second as if deliberating the next thought carefully in her mind. “Next time Feyre tries to set something up like this, tell her that she is better off just minding her own business.” 

Still in a bit of shock, Cassian watched as she left. The pain had started to fade as he used his arm to support himself to stand on shaken knees. Seconds later Cassian went to pick up his bag off the floor. He stared at the gloves she had used today wondering how the hell their session ended like this. He bent down to pick up the gloves and shoved them into the bag. 

He then pulled out his own red pair and decided to release the pent-up energy. As he went through his routines he tried not to focus on how quick the hour went by with Nesta. How he could still feel the depths of those blue-gray eyes or how she felt pressed against him. 

Those feelings followed him long after he left Illyrian Gym.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in the Nessian ship on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	4. Meeting In Velaris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chance encounter at Velaris leaves Nesta meeting Cassian again. How will their encounter go after she had made it clear she had no intentions of seeing him again?

“So tell me again why we have to go to Velaris and pick up these papers?” Nesta asked Feyre who hadn’t yet the dropped the smile on her face since Rhysand called asking them to come to his office. “Why can’t your boyfriend just bring them home and you give them to me the next time we meet?”

“The entrepreneurship papers need to be signed in person and at Velaris,” Feyre explained. There has to be a physical signature on the paperwork before Rhys can proceed with submitting them for evaluation by other board members.”

“Will it still be acceptable if I sign even though I am doing this for Elain?”

Feyre paused in thought. Usually the business owner looking for assistance would be the one signing the papers. In this case Nesta was able to sign papers in order to register a _potential_ business for consultation from other entrepreneurs or investors. If Elain decided to pursue her wish of starting a flower shop or opening a conservatory after graduation then she would have a leg up if investors were already interested in funding her dreams.

There was also the fact that Nesta had slightly better credit than her younger sister considering Nesta had the apartment in her name, was working a part-time job and had shown in the past of making payments on time. Nesta was a trustworthy person to at least sign on until Elain made a firm decision. Granted both of them being students may seem off-putting to investors, but at least if Nesta put in the paperwork years before Elain graduated then maybe that would accumulate interest.

“It will be fine Nesta,” Feyre assured. “This is the best current option we have and Rhys will make sure it's all taken care of before the Board sees it and investors have a chance to go over it.”

The idea still made Nesta nervous. She hadn’t known Rhysand for long and honestly she doubted the rich man ever had to worry one day in his life about keeping food on the table. _Hell his biggest worry was probably wondering what type designer outfit to wear that day._

“And what if it doesn’t work? What if all this hard work is for nothing?” Nesta couldn’t accept that Elain would not be provided for. Since she was little Nesta was fiercely protective of her and since arriving to Prythian. Nesta felt the overbearing sense of fear that she would fail her sister. _Just like how I failed Feyre._

Feyre placed her arm around Nesta’s shoulder. “Nesta. You can trust Rhys. I promise things will work out and even if it seems tough-”

“We can’t let the hard days win,” Nesta finished. Mor had ingrained that into each of the Archeron’s heads.

Feyre smiled faintly. “Exactly.”

The sisters continued their journey down the sidewalk for a few more blocks before standing outside the glass doors of Velaris. It was the tallest skyscraper in Prythian towering over the streets. The 102-story building made of steel, stone and glass shined like a polished obelisk blade in the sun. It was intimidating to gaze at which was the intention when construction began for it almost a century ago.

Nesta had never been to the building before, but she had seen it from afar during her commutes to work or school. Standing before it gave Nesta a slight sense of apprehension that must have shown on her face when Feyre turned to her.

“Don’t worry,” Feyre said gently. “The first couple of times I came here was a bit daunting also. You get used to it eventually.”

Nesta wanted to tell her sister that she would have no intention of returning unless she had to sign more paperwork. Instead she held her tongue for once and followed Feyre inside.

Upon entering there were two security stations where both women had to be checked for weapons or other items not allowed pass the checkpoint. Nesta took off her metal bracelet and purse to be put in a small plastic tub that was sent through a scanner on a conveyor belt. She then passed through the metal detector and waited for her sister to finish her check.

The process was quick and soon they were on their way to the front desk.  Feyre spoke with the receptionist who informed them that Rhysand would be down in 10 minutes once he finished his meeting with a client.

Feyre and Nesta took a seat on two leather chairs next to each other in the brightly lit waiting area. Nesta had to admit that it seemed far more welcoming inside than the outside exterior provided. She surveyed her surroundings with scrutiny wondering what information she could gain from the personality of a man that had won her youngest sister’s heart.  

The interior design was simple with white tiling that shone in the light that filtered through many glass windows. Some points on the floor reflected a rainbow if the light hit it a certain way. Other black leather chairs and a few couches were spread out to surround glass and marble tables. A few matching small side tables were settled between the chairs. Nesta noticed a magazine on the side table between her and Feyre. She picked it picked up to distract herself while Feyre sat with ease in her chair.

“So Nesta,” Feyre began after a couple minutes of silence. “How was boxing last Thursday?”

The magazine crumpled audibly in the quiet waiting room. Feyre glanced at her sister who took a calming breath and loosened the paper from her grip.

“It was fine.” Nesta said stonily and looked back at the magazine. Not really reading the words in the article.

“Define _fine_ Nesta,” Feyre turned her complete attention to her sister who was adamantly trying to ignore her.

Nesta wanted to bite out that Feyre was a conniving person who couldn’t stay out of other people’s business. Instead Nesta's thoughts took her back to that day when she met Cassian at Illyrian Gym. She had been infuriated with Feyre at being tricked to see this man again. Cassian seemed pleasant enough as he helped guide her through lifting weights. She could still remember the way he looked at her though. Hazel eyes trying and failing not to admire her. Of course Nesta wasn’t taking that nonsense that was surely running through his ego-inflated skull. She shut him down swiftly, but he got right back to pushing her buttons. That cocky smirk that never seemed to wipe off his face.

What unnerved Nesta the most about their training session was the way Cassian saw past her walls she had spent years building and perfecting. They were supposed to be impenetrable, but his bright eyes saw through them and glimpsed at the secrets she buried deeply in herself.

He tried to question her. Wanted to make the person that hurt her pay. His hand gently holding hers to his chest where she could feel the strong steady heartbeat underneath warm muscles. Nesta had been lost in that moment of sheer…she tried to think of a word to describe it. She was at peace, but felt passionate by his sincere words at the same time.

She had wanted more, but was afraid to take anything from him. Afraid of what she had to give in return for that moment of brief bliss.

The instant his lips grazed her neck she was lost. Carried off in waves of slow burning passion that was kindling a fire. She enjoyed it. Far too well to the point she couldn’t think straight. Then his tongue licked her like a flame that scorched too hot.

_She didn’t want to be burned._

Her immediate reaction was to flee. She couldn’t afford to be swept up in her emotions as she made her walls rise higher against the thought of his soft lips trailing up the juncture of her neck. Then the barbed words were thrown from each side. This was a battle she didn’t intend to lose.

She had pulled his face to hers in a moment that made her almost forget her battle plans entirely as she looked between his eyes and lips.

_Gods she wanted his touch again even though she felt the need to run._

But she wasn’t going to let his pretty face and words deter her from her mission. She rammed her leg between his thighs, ensuring that he got the message she wanted to convey. She recalled the weight of his precious manhood being struck by her knee after she let her instincts take over. Leaving him there gasping for air and trying to hold in the pain.

That was the last time Nesta saw Cassian almost a week ago.

“I don’t plan on retuning to the gym,” Nesta said simply not wanting to engage her sister into any further conversation about it.

“Really? I thought you wanted to learn though?”

“Not from some pig-headed man who can’t learn to keep out of other people’s business,” Nesta said. She glanced at Feyre before continuing. “Quite like some sister who doesn’t know when to stop either.”

Feyre laughed good-naturedly. “Come on Nesta. Cassian is honestly the best there is. He also helped train me to fight if you can believe it.”

Nesta raised an eye-brow. She didn’t know her sister had been learning boxing. “And how did that turn out?”

Feyre looked at her hands before returning her eyes to Nesta. The seriousness there made Nesta wonder what brought about that look.

“Cassian and Rhys helped me learn how to defend myself not long after I left Tamlin,” Feyre said looking Nesta directly in the eye. Two sets of matching steel gazes. One sister trying to find the words to explain and the other finding an understanding.

“It’s okay Feyre,” Nesta said quietly. This was one thing Nesta could possibly relate to Feyre. Being used by someone else by a false concept of love. Granted Feyre had it worse. Nesta would admit that with shame for not being there for her sister.

“No Nesta. It wasn’t okay,” Feyre continued forward not stopping until Nesta truly understood the role her friends played. “Rhys saved me. Mor, Amren, Cassian and Azriel saved me. Each of them was able to hold me up until I found the strength to stand.” She paused to take a breath. “The first time I talked about what happened with Amarantha was during a training session with Cassian.”

Nesta’s heart clenched. _What the bitch Amarantha had done…the broken bones and bruises she gave Feyre…and the emotional scars._

“Cassian let me vent it out even as a I started to cry,” Feyre interrupted Nesta’s thoughts. “Rhys was there and pulled me aside so we could talk privately, but Cassian was one of the first people other than Rhys to not judge me or look at me like I was weak for what happened.”

Nesta tried to keep her face neutral. She remembered Cassian’s tone and words from last Thursday.

_“I’d do it for anyone.”_

Cassian had offered empathy to Feyre. And he was perceptive enough to see through Nesta’s own defenses.

“Cassian helped you Feyre,” Nesta began delicately.” “Because you _needed_ help. Anyone could see that.”

Feyre clenched her hands and released them quickly. If anyone could see then why did so many not help her back at school? “But no one acted on it," Feyre said. "At least not until I met Rhys, Mor and the others.”

The words were clear. Nesta hadn’t helped when Feyre needed her. Instead Nesta was blind at not seeing what was clearly there.

“Do you want me to apologize for not stepping in? For not wanting to risk everything we had fought to earn just to even have a chance to go to Prythian?” Nesta’s tone turned deeper at the turn this conversation had taken.

“Maybe one day you can find the nerve to do so and sincerely mean it.”

Nesta wanted to snarl and unleash the emotions she kept bottled up away from her sisters for years. She reigned in that beast even as she could feel the claws scratching at her throat. Seeking to release the words it wanted to speak.

“And maybe one day,” Nesta spoke quietly. “You’ll see that our mistakes have a way of haunting us.”

Feyre said nothing as the elevator doors pinged and Rhysand walked out wearing a dark tailored suit that made him look as if he belonged on the cover of Esquire or Men’s Vogue.

“Feyre, Darling.” His voice resonated inside the lobby. Commanding attention even though he was fixated on Feyre alone. The couple approached each other and Rhysand leaned down to give Feyre a kiss on her cheek. He then moved his head slightly to whisper something in her ear.

From the way Feyre’s face formed a slight blush and how she admonished him, Nesta decided not to question whatever he had whispered. She had to stop herself from gagging when she heard Feyre whisper back into his ear that she would be ‘teaching him better etiquette later’.

Rhysand chuckled and smiled at Feyre with a gaze showing utter devotion and love. His arm wove around Feyre’s waist and she placed hers around his back. The two shared an embrace as Nesta tried not to disturb them.

She watched in wonder at the couple was caught up their own little world. She thought about what each of them had been through just to find each other and get to the point where they stood side by side in happiness.

Rhysand turned to Nesta at that moment, but he didn’t release his hand that was placed securely around Feyre. As if it was second nature for the two to stand together like were made to fit each other perfectly.

“Glad you could make it Nesta,” Rhysand greeted. “Did you two have a good trip through the city?”

Nesta shrugged. “Traffic is horrible like it always is.” She didn’t mention the fact that the only reason they took a taxi was because Rhysand didn’t want Feyre to on the subway which was more dangerous than using a taxi.

“Better the traffic than the smelly subway,” Feyre said already sensing that Nesta was just trying to get some sort of reaction out of Rhysand.

“Well let’s head up to my office where we can sign the papers,” Rhysand led the way to the elevators. After the three of them were inside he pressed a button that went to the 99th floor.

The music in the elevator was soothing and not at all generic like those in movies. At least Nesta had that to be thankful for considering how the enclosed space seemed to push Feyre and Rhys closer.

_I swear knowing them they would probably have sex in an elevator considering how they look at each other._

Soon, but perhaps not soon enough in Nesta’s opinion, the doors opened to a quiet floor.

“Most of my close staff members have gone to complete their business either on the other floors for the day or are visiting clients.” Rhysand strode to his office. Surprisingly it wasn’t too far from the other offices.

“After you ladies,” Rhysand opened a dark wooden and glass door with his name and title on it. The sisters walked in and Nesta examined the spacious room. Despite everyone claiming that Rhysand was a businessman to be feared, the room wasn’t what she expected. Many people described Rhysand as a beast that thrived in darkness and terror. Yet from what Nesta could see he was a kind person willing to protect the ones he loved.

His office was bright and open like the lobby downstairs. A simple black desk and matching leather chair was placed in front of the windows. The silver computer desktop sat on the desk along with some papers and picture frames filled with photos of Feyre and Rhysand together. 

“Can I get you two anything to drink?” Rhysand walked in the room leaving the door open.

Nesta and Feyre shook their heads. “We’re good Rhys,” Feyre said.

Rhysand went to the desk and opened a drawer. After pulling out a small stack of papers held together by a clip he handed them to Nesta.

“Here are the papers that need your signature,” He searched his desk for a pen and gave it to her. “I also have a copy of the guidelines I can give to you so you understand the further details of the project as it goes to the Board and eventually potential investors.”

“Thanks, I would greatly appreciate that.” Nesta began reading over the papers. It was neatly organized and easy to read making despite some of the business terminology that others would stumble over. Nesta was majoring in business at Prythian and had quite a bit of knowledge about the subject. Some of her professors wanted her to go onto grad school, but there was no way Nesta could afford such an aspiration. She loved reading and understanding business, but life has a way of putting dreams right in front of you, but just out of reach.

“So what are odds that if Elain decides to start a business she'll have full control over it? Will value investors be involved? And what of the equity?” Nesta rambled off question after question, which Rhysand obliged to give her. He was a pleasantly shocked that Feyre’s older sister knew so much about the market field. That would work in all their favors if Nesta kept up with anything investors may try to throw at her. Granted Rhysand wouldn’t let any disreputable investor get near Elain’s business, but it was helpful to see that at least he could rely on Nesta to keep the business in check.

Nesta committed Rhysand's answers to memory and started signing the papers. She had just signed the final signature when a knock sounded on the door.

“Hey Rhys are you busy?” A man asked from the doorway.

Nesta whirled around at the familiar voice and was met with Cassian’s matching look of shock.

“What are _you_ doing here?” Nesta frowned at the awkward situation she now found herself in.

“I could ask the same about you sweetheart,” Cassian returned. Instantly composing himself with a grin.

“Is there something you need Cassian?” Rhysand questioned while taking the papers Nesta handed him.

“There are just some security details I want to go over with you for the holiday party in December.”

“Can we go over those details tomorrow? I need to finish out this paperwork tonight and send it to the Board by the morning.”

“Sounds good to me.” Cassian went over to Feyre and gave her a friendly hug around the shoulders. “Glad to see you around. I swear Rhys hogs up all your time so your other friends never get to see you.”

Feyre laughed and returned the hug. “And you’re always busy working so let’s just agree we're all at fault a little.”

Nesta stood quietly off to the side thinking about what Feyre had said in the lobby earlier. Cassian had been one of the first to help Feyre recover from her emotional trauma with Amarantha. Seeing them interact made it clear they had a strong bond of friendship.

Rhysand approached Nesta quiet as a shadow. She startled when his voice spoke bedside her.

“I'll have these submitted early tomorrow, but in the future there will need to be more documents signed by you.”

“That’s fine with me,” Nesta said. “Just keep me posted on everything that goes on. And I mean it Rhysand. Keep me in the loop.”

“Will do Nesta,” Rhysand set the papers on his desk in a folder. “Cassian do you mind escorting Nesta back to the main lobby? Feyre and I have plans to eat together later, but I need to work out some details here first.”

Nesta was about ready to state she would be fine on her own when Feyre beat her first.

“That would be a smart idea considering how large the building is.”

“I think I can find an elevator by myself Feyre,” Nesta set Rhysand’s pen on his desk. She noticed a sticky note on his phone with Feyre’s handwriting, but couldn’t catch what it said. _Probably some romantic fluff considering the notes looked similar to  those on Feyre’s own desk at her apartment._

“Well I was just about to leave also Nesta so we might as well walk together,” Cassian said. “Don’t worry, I trust you can handle yourself so you don’t have to hold my hand,” Cassian’s trademark smirk appeared, “unless you can’t resist.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “In case you forgot, the last time you offered to touch my hands I told you it would result with your fingers being broken.”

The two started a silent staring match to see who would avert their eyes first. Burning hazel versus steel blue gray.

“Let’s not kill each other in my office,” Rhysand drawled as he went to take a seat in his chair. He was in no mood to intervene in a squabble. “Take it outside if you must continue.”

Feyre kept a straight face as she said good-bye to Nesta who looked ready to throttle the man waiting for her at the door. “Please be nice Nesta.” Feyre whispered as they parted with a brief hug.

Nesta didn’t respond to that comment, but said her farewells to Rhysand and Feyre with the promise to text her later. _No doubt about her frustration with meeting Cassian again._

Cassian said goodbye to his friends and followed alongside Nesta down the hall. She didn’t speak a word to him as she walked with her head held high.

The pair couldn’t hear Rhysand’s voice as he chuckled in his office. “It’s good to see someone finally getting under his skin. Wonder who will be left standing: her or Cassian.”

“My money’s on Nesta,” came Feyre’s reply.

Rhysand chuckled.“So’s mine.”

Meanwhile Cassian tried to start up a conversation with the woman who had grated his nerves and pride during their last confrontation.

_She may have won that battle, but all is fair in love and war. Granted this was turning more into a match against wit and willpower, but that’s what Cassian loved about her. She kept him on his toes. He thought Nesta would be someone he could easily flirt with and gain her attention quickly. That was how many other women reacted. There were some who made him give slight chase, but never to the extent where Cassian had to push himself to great lengths like Nesta was doing to him._

“So do you come here often?” Cassian asked politely.

“You’re resorting to pick-up lines now? And cheesy ones no less?” Nesta continued marching forward like a woman on a mission.

“It was an honest question considering you just signed papers for Rhys. I assume you're here for some sort of business work, but hey if you desperately want to think it was a pick-up line then please be my guest.”

“I’m not desperate enough to want men like you hitting on me,” Nesta stated. Waiting for her words to strike him down. “Why don’t you go pester some half-wit who you can actually keep up with Cassian?”

“Sweetheart you couldn’t keep up with me on your best days.”

“How about you keep to your business and I keep to mine Cassian and we part ways right here.” She turned down the hall getting closer to the elevator.

“No,” Cassian said as his stride overpassed her and he turned to face her. His eyes looked directly into hers. “I can’t let you go Nesta.”

She jolted both at his abrupt stop and the way his eyes were looking at her as he said those words. She didn’t know what to say as Cassian leaned closer. She held her breath, but not before catching a whiff of his scent. He smelt like spice and bergamot with a faint smell of…chocolate? That last one threw Nesta for a loop, but she wanted to know what cologne could mix those three scents to create such a mouth-watering aroma.

Cassian grinned as he heard Nesta inhale deeply. He thought she was trying to compose her self as he leaned forward, but the truth was she was trying to commit his scent to memory.

He leaned down so they were only a couple hands length away.

“I can’t let you go Nesta, because it’s standard protocol that a guest cannot walk around Velaris without an escort.”

Her once anticipating expression turned confused then furious in seconds. His laughter did nothing to abate her anger.

“What-“

“Sorry sweetheart that’s the rules.”

 “Rules? What rule doesn’t let someone walk around without a babysitter?” She questioned furiously and bumped his shoulder to pass him. _Of all the nerve!_

Cassian was quick to catch up and match her pace. Although he was sad to say he missed the backside view of her angrily walking away. But he had other priorities right now instead of admiring Nesta’s waist and the way she fit in casual jeans.

“We can’t have people waltzing the floors Nesta.” His smile still hadn’t faded much to Nesta’s disappointment.

“Oh yeah? And who came up with that rule?” They reached the elevator. Both reaching for the button at the same time until Nesta pulled away before Cassian could graze her skin. He pressed the elevator button.

“The head of security did with the approval of the CEO,” Cassian said. “Rhysand was actually happy to approve my idea once it was brought up.”

It took a moment for Nesta to process the sentence. “ _You’re_ head of security?”

His bright grin was answer enough. Nesta noticed then that he had his Velaris business tag poking slightly out of his pants pocket.

“I can’t believe they let you be in charge for the safety of others.” The elevator opened and she walked in hoping that would be the end of it. The end of this discussion and hopefully the end of her meeting him unawares each time.

Cassian stopped the door from shutting with his hand and waltzed in like he owned the enclosed space. His large frame took up so much space and it didn’t help that he kept trying to get Nesta’s attention by taking a step closer. She quickly pressed the main floor button wishing that it would make the elevator go down faster.

“I’m the best at what I do Nesta,” he crossed his muscled arms in his dark grey button down short sleeve shirt. “I’ve trained for years and learned how to protect myself and others.”

“What with boxing?” Nesta snorted.

“That and more,” Cassian shot back. “Maybe if you'll still come to our training sessions I can show you.”

“Well your ‘that and more’ didn’t help your balls now did it?”

Cassian let out a noise Nesta couldn’t tell was a groan or a growl. “Your cheap shot was uncalled for, but I’ll forgive you and that knee of yours,” Cassian paused. Debating if he should say his next words. “If you come back to the gym and continue training.”

“Yea right,” she scoffed. “You couldn’t pay me to walk in there again.”

“And what if I offered something else?”

She quirked a brow. “And what would someone like you be able to offer me Cassian?”

“I could offer many things,” he slowly stepped forward. “But I doubt they are things someone like _you_ would be ready for.” He threw her words right back at her.

Nesta opened her mouth to say something harsh in reply.

“But what I offer you is this,” he said softly. “I will train you vigorously and you will learn all that I can teach you.” He took a deep breath. “Don’t run away if you're seriously dedicated toward learning self-defense.”

“I’m not running away,” Nesta argued.

“Are you?”

Nesta was quiet. She still wanted to train and the only place that was available was Illyrian.

“I’ll return to the gym-” Nesta began.

“Good,” Cassian sounded exceedingly relieved and proud.

“-If you promise not to butt into business that is not related to training. We keep this extremely professional and not personal.”

Cassian looked ready to start up another argument, but conceded. For now.

“Then I will see you this Thursday. Same time as last week.”

Nesta nodded and the elevator opened providing her escape.

She tried to resist looking back at him as she stepped toward the doors leading to Prythian’s streets. Something inside nudged her to turn back to Cassian. When she did he was staring straight at her. The same look in his eyes that let Nesta know he was trying to decipher her. He stood in the elevator with a small smile slowly forming. A sign that he was pleased. She couldn’t tell if it was due to her promising to come back to the gym or that she turned back to him in a parting glance.

“I look forward to seeing you on Thursday Nesta.” He waved goodbye as the doors began to close and finally sealed shut.

Nesta felt inclined to say something. She almost wished that she had before the doors closed, but she would have her opportunity on Thursday when they continued where they left off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in the Nessian ship on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	5. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta decides to return to Illyrian after Cassian promises her that he will help her train and that they keep professional during their sessions. Nesta doesn’t want things to get personal with Cassian, but Cassian wants to understand the woman that has ensnared his thoughts.

Nesta was running late. The restaurant's large lunch crowd today made it impossible for Nesta to abandon her fellow staff. It was getting to be that time of year when more company groups visited Prythian, which meant more business at the restaurant. _And ultimately the start of living hell at work._

When Nesta was finally able to leave work she was 40 minutes behind schedule. She clocked out and grabbed her bag from the staff room. Pulling out her gym shorts, t-shirt and tennis shoes, she swapped them for her work uniform. A sigh escaped her body as she pulled off the low inch heels that had been driving her insane. After shoving her uniform in the bag Nesta walked swiftly out the restaurant through the back exit and to the subway station. If she was lucky she could catch the next train on the northern line.

She almost missed the train, but a woman was nice enough to hold the door as Nesta rushed inside. There were no empty seats so Nesta had to hold onto one of the long handrails as the subway cars jolted forward.

Her phone read 4:40 p.m. and it was evident that she was going to be late. _Cassian will probably be ranting about it once I get there._

Nesta was still a few minutes late after jogging from the station. If she had gotten here by 5:10 like she did last time then she could have already stretched and been ready by 5:30 p.m. Now she was walking into the gym at 5:35 p.m. Her breaths came out in little pants to suck air back into her lungs after her jog.

“I thought you had chickened out on me Nesta,” Cassian leaned against the welcome desk. He wore blue shorts and a black sleeveless compression shirt. All which showed off his muscles and darkly tanned skin. Nesta also noticed something she had never seen before. Black inked tattoo lines interwove each other on his shoulders and disappeared under the tight black fabric of his shirt.

Nesta averted her stare not wanting to seem too curious about the markings. “I told you I would come train wouldn’t I?” She walked toward the locker room and Cassian followed.

“Last I checked we were supposed to start at 5:30,” Cassian said. “And now we are running 30 minutes behind schedule.”

“I’m here now aren’t I?” Nesta shoved her bag on an open bench.

 “Considering you're all into manners I would have thought you would be more punctual Nesta.” Cassian opened a free locker allowing Nesta to put her bag inside. She rolled her eyes at his punctuality comment, but didn’t reply. She couldn’t help it if work was hectic today and she couldn’t leave on time. He handed her the locker key hanging from a thin lanyard. “That is your copy, but if you lose it you’ll have to pay for another. If you misplace your key we also have a spare at the front desk to use.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Nesta shoved the lanyard in her shorts pocket not wanting to wear it during their training in case it got caught on something.

“Now remember how I told you I would train you vigorously?” Cassian’s smirking expression didn’t bode well for Nesta. “You’re going to see what happens to students when they arrive late.”

Nesta had to run sprints across the room for twenty minutes followed by box jump squats that had Nesta’s leg muscles burning in pain. She never claimed to be an expert in physical exercise, but she managed to keep up some sense of shape by running around constantly on campus to class, walking around Prythian and also busting herself at work.

Despite the pain in her legs she kept going. She leapt up onto the wooden box that almost reached her waist. If she could manage walking around in heels for seven-hour shifts while carrying dishes of food to customers who tested her patience, then she could handle this.

Nesta could see Cassian in the midst of his own routine that involved lifting dumbbells in each hand. It was difficult to watch him though as she had to focus her attention on not tripping over the step each time she jumped onto it.

Any moment she did spare him was quick as she kept looking back to those tattoos that would move with the muscles on his shoulders. The dark ink had a mixture of thick and thin lines that curved and coiled in an intricate design. It looked almost tribal from what Nesta could tell from fleeting glances.

Cassian continued to lift the dumbbells acting as though he didn’t notice Nesta’s eyes peering at him. Let her believe he didn’t catch her from the corner of his eye. When she did finally turn away her attention he would sneak in his own.

It was easier to keep an eye on her as he simply lifted the dumbbells. They didn’t require much effort, which was fine with Cassian since his focus was on the woman jumping nearby.

He wasn’t going to let her off easy with her tardiness. He thought for sure she had gone back on her word and decided against returning to the gym. _Returning to him._ Worry settled in at the thought of Nesta abandoning her will to learn self-defense.

Luckily she finally showed up, but that still didn’t mean he couldn’t get a message across. Tardiness meant punishment. Every student was dealt with some sort of punishment if they disobeyed the rules of the gym. And Cassian was known for enforcing them. If he didn’t then others would see him as a pushover.

Years ago other trainers tried to force him into submission, because they saw him as an easy target. Now he was the best trainer here and had earned the respect of most of his peers and students. Of course Devlon and a few others were the exceptions.

He just hoped Nesta wouldn’t be one of those that hated his guts after she finished her jumping squats. 

 _That’s if she doesn’t hate me already._ And from the way her eyes were rigid and accompanied by a firm frown, Cassian wondered if they had went beyond the point of hate.

After a few more reps with the dumbbells Cassian figured that Nesta had spent enough time with her jumps.

“That’s enough for now,” Cassian called to her and set down the dumbbells on the rack with the others.

Nesta stepped away from the wooden box and ran a hand across her forehead to wipe off the small amount of sweat that was starting to fall.

“What’s next?” Nesta stretched her legs in the hopes of easing the burning tension in her calf muscles.

“First,” Cassian went to their bottled waters and handed one to her. “You need to rehydrate.”

Nesta drank a few mouthfuls of cold water before setting the bottle back on the bench.

“So do you want to tell me why you were late?” Cassian drank his water as Nesta answered him.

“I thought we agreed to focus on training and not what happens outside the gym?”

“But your tardiness affects what happens in the gym,” Cassian countered. “If you intend to make a habit of this then each day the workouts are going to become more intensive until you decide to show up on time.”

“Well hopefully this won’t happen again,” Nesta said. “But if work is as busy as it was today then I won’t be able to leave on time.”

“You need to ensure you can get here on time Nesta. I have many other priorities to handle other than you and I want to make the most of the time we have during these sessions.”

“Then let’s stop talking and get to training,” Nesta placed her hands on her hips impatiently.

Cassian chuckled and crossed his arms at the sight. The muscles in his arms became more defined and he may have inadvertently puffed his chest a bit.

“We're going to spend the next thirty minutes with the bag,” Cassian’s serious tone had an underlying playful note. “And by the time we’re done your arms are going to be burning just as much as your legs are now.”

Nesta struggled to hold in the groan at the thought of her arms being in a similar state as her legs. Although she shot Cassian a scathing look at the innuendo his words also supplied.

Cassian walked to his bag he brought in with them and pulled out hand wraps. “Now let’s get you hands wrapped up.”

Nesta held out a hand out to take the wrap, but Cassian pulled it out of her reach.

“Oh no, you are _not_ going to be wrapping your own hands,” Cassian said. “Last time was enough to show me that you can’t be trusted to properly wrap them.”

“Do you expect them to magically get on my hands then?”

“I’m honored you think I have magic powers, but we're doing this the old fashioned way.” Cassian extended his palm out toward Nesta. She backed away swiftly eying his hand with disbelief.  

“There is no way you're wrapping my hand,” Nesta crossed her arms. “I have agreed to training, but I didn’t agree to be treated like a child.”

“Then stop acting like one and let me wrap your hand so you don’t injure yourself.” Cassian gritted out as if he was physically trying to restrain himself.

The two stared at each other. When it became obvious that Cassian wasn’t going to back down Nesta let out an irritated sigh and held out her hand stiffly.

Cassian’s triumphant look wasn’t missed by Nesta. “Enjoy it while you can Cassian, because I guarantee this will _not_ happen again.”

“Oh believe me, I’m enjoying this already,” he took her hand in his. “Although I wouldn’t be to sure about us not doing this in the future.”

Nesta looked away and looked around the room completely avoiding Cassian as he held the wrap. She could feel his hands holding onto the left hand she had offered.

“Relax Nesta,” Cassian brushed his thumb over the back of her hand. “Maybe I should massage your hands to release all this tension.”

Nesta’s blue grey-eyes turned a few degrees colder. But gradually she started to relax as he began readying the wrap.

It was then that Nesta realized this was the first time they had prolonged skin-to-skin contact. The touch was stimulating. She wondered if it was the warmth of his hands that caused it or if perhaps Cassian naturally emitted that sort of presence.

He began wrapping her hand from the thumb over the back of her wrist a few times before wrapping around the hand itself. He then parted each individual finger to cross between them before wrapping around the thumb again. His fingers worked smoothly as he continued the process. Nesta became at ease as she watched him. He finished up the wrap by banding her knuckles and using the spare length wind around the wrist and back of the palm area.

"Alright now see if you can do what I just did with the other hand,” Cassian broke the silence by pulling out the second wrap and handing it to her.

She hated to admit that she was nervous trying to repeat the same steps that he just did. He made it look easy and now she was having trouble keeping the wrap tight enough as it went around her thumb.

“If it’s too loose it’s going to fall off,” Cassian watched Nesta’s frustration slowly rise. She bit the corner of her lip as she concentrated on the wrap. Cassian’s focus was drawn to her lips. Curious if he would ever actually feel them on his skin. He could imagine her teasing him like she was now without her knowledge of doing so. _Or maybe she would take another approach by biting his lips instead. Moving down his neck leaving a small trail of marks to remind him of her._

A sigh filled the air and Cassian jerked from the image that had played across his mind. He thought he let his imagination get the better of him and involuntarily made a noise until he realized the sigh came from Nesta. In his state of…distraction he failed to notice she was futilely trying to copy his wrapping method.

“Here let me help you,” Cassian’s voice had deepened causing Nesta to glance at him. He placed one hand on each of hers and directed her through the steps at a leisurely pace. Once they finished it was obvious that their joined effort looked better than Nesta’s previous attempts.

Cassian held onto her hands for one extra moment. Savoring the soft heat of her skin against his. Too soon he released their hold and strode to the punching bag.

“Now is when the fun really begins,” Cassian said.

Nesta was curious if his idea of fun meant torture for her at this rate. First it was the searing pain in her legs and now she had to deal with whatever just occurred between them seconds ago. And now she had a vague sense of some other sensation between her legs that was annoying to say the least.  _The man goes from warm to blazing hot with his intentions. He had to be the one to blame for Nesta's...current sitatuation._

She smothered that feeling and instead listened to his instructions and went through a few steps with the punching bag. Of course Cassian wouldn’t stop talking about Nesta needing to choose the flight rather than fight option if given. Only when she had no other choices should she try to face off against an opponent.

She understood that. Firsthand experience taught her how vulnerable she was to others and how they could take advantage of her. She hated how it felt to be put in such a frightening situation where she was forced to run away like a scared child.

“Obviously,” Nesta gritted out under her breath and gave the punching bag a harder hit with her fist. She imagined for a split second that it was Thomas standing there instead of the bag as she railed another hit into it.

“What was that Nesta?” Cassian said with his arms crossed. “No sense in mumbling if you got something to say to me.”

 “I wasn’t talking to you,” Nesta remained focused on the bag. She continued to give punch after punch to the punching bag.

Cassian was quiet. He was evaluating her tone and her hits that started to become erratic in pacing.

“Then who were you talking to?”

“Not.” _Punch!_ “You.” _Punch!_

Cassian stood there watching her vigorously punch the bag. Letting her continue to vent out whatever she was holding inside. He understood the need to put emotions into action. Anger and fear transforming into flying fists. So he just watched as she pounded her feelings into the punching bag. Now was not the time for words. Perhaps one day Nesta would be willing to share that deeper side with him, but today he wasn’t going to risk driving her away, Cassian needed steady progress to earn her trust.

After almost 10 minutes she slowed down and went to get a drink. Thankful that Cassian didn’t speak as he too decided to take a drink from his water bottle. They continued on with the training session back with the punching bag.

“For that last part of training I want to work with you on directing your punches to maximize the efficiency of the punch,” Cassian showed her a slower demonstration punch on the bag. “This means incorporating aim, timing, balance, defense and recover.” He directed Nesta to take her position in front of the bag.

“Now when you square off against someone the key is to relax.” Cassian walked to stand beside Nesta. His hair was tied up into a small bun yet Nesta noticed he had a few loose strands as he stood close to her. His taller height invaded her space as he further explained.

“If your body is tense this prevents you from throwing your best punch.” Cassian then circled around her to stop at her back. Her body became taut like a drawn bow string as he leaned down to speak near her ear. “Stay focused as you keep your eyes on your opponent. Don’t look past them or down, because that could end up being the mistake that causes you to go lights out.”

As Cassian began circling again he instructed Nesta to punch the bag firmly until he told her to stop. “Exhale on every punch. The shorter and more explosive the breath, the better.”

Nesta exhaled in spurts with each punch. She kept her focus on the bag instead of Cassian as he stepped behind it.

“Now I want you to sync the force of your body in time with each impact. You should feel this from head to toe. Your feet will pivot as the hips turn and shoulders rotate. You should then push the momentum as your arms extend forward and your fist tightens for the hit.”

Nesta attempted to feel how her body moved with each punch. She knew her legs were still sore from the beginning of training, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t tell how the force of her leg movement affected the strength of her punch. As Cassian walked around the side of the bag he commented on a few good punches that showed good form.

“Make sure not to forget your legs after the punch,” Cassian said. “They should help maintain your balance. Then after each punch make sure you use your free hand to protect yourself after your other hand throws a punch. One hand should always be defending you.”

Nesta raised both arms in an attempt to go through the stages of offense and defense. She went on punching for another 10 minutes before Cassian walked behind her.

“And always remember to recover your punching arm quickly to cover your vulnerability.”  Cassian whispered the last word in Nesta’s ear causing her to swing wide with her last punch. She whirled around and almost elbowed him in his stomach, but he caught it before impact.

“Can you stop circling around like a vulture?” Nesta’s irritated tone and scathing look didn’t affect Cassian as he stepped away with a smile.

“Let’s call it a day Nesta. You worked hard today so we can resume next week.”

Nesta and Cassian did a few cool down stretches before going to their lockers to pick up their bags.

“Now don’t forget to be here at five on Thursday,” Cassian reminded her. “Or else your legs are going to be sore again.”

“Thanks,” Nesta said sarcastically while rubbing her leg muscles in the hopes of easing some pain before walking back to the subway station.

Cassian noticed her movements and walked over to her. “Looks like you need massage and warm soak in a tub.”

Nesta slowly turned her head to him. She wasn’t sure if his words were baiting her, but her voice reflected her tiring day. “Yea I definitely could go for a long massage and hot bath right now.”

“Do you know how to work the tension out of your leg muscles?”

“Is there a technique?”

“Well I could show you, but I’m afraid you would become addicted to my touch.” A roguish smile graced his face and Nesta rolled her eyes.

“Only in your dreams Cassian,” Nesta swung her bag over her shoulder.

Cassian wanted to comment about how wonderful that dream would be. He would slowly massage his way up the length of her legs. Making sure to pay special attention to spot that would make her gasp or release a moan in the pleasure that his hands brought. And then he would work his way up to the spot between her legs where he knew she would slowly become undone by his ministrations.

_Cassian._

He could already imagine his name spoken by her breathless voice.

“Cassian?”

He was shaken from his thoughts. Nesta was looking at him in confusion.

“What did you say?” Cassian asked.

“Do you want me to keep these hand wraps?” She held out the wraps that were previously on her hand.

“They're yours now Nesta,” Cassian shut his locker and walked to the exit with Nesta. “But we still need to work on your wrapping skills.”

Nesta shook her head with a smile as she placed the wraps in a small bag compartment. “Sure, so long as you improve your listening skills.” Nesta and Cassian walked into the main. “You looked like you were in a whole other world there for a second.”

Cassian couldn’t say he was letting his brain and another piece of his anatomy go wild with thoughts of him and Nesta. She would surely run fast and far enough away that Cassian wouldn’t have another chance with her. He wouldn’t say it was a waste of time to imagine them together. He still wanted to get to know her, but he desired her trust and confidence more. There was no way in hell he would squander that potential with her.

“Make sure to rest your legs tonight,” Cassian said instead. “They are going to be feeling a lot worse tomorrow.”

“You don’t need to worry about whatever happens outside the gym,” Nesta reminded. “That was our deal so I’ll take care of myself.”

“Your health affects the way you train in the gym so it does concern me with what happens outside of Illyrian,” Cassian countered. He opened the door and let Nesta step outside first before exiting as well.

“Cassian,” Nesta turned to him. “So long as I show up to the gym, you don’t need to butt into my life outside of it. That’s the deal we made.”

Cassian didn’t say anything. He wasn’t going to promise anything if it meant he could make sure she was not pushing herself too hard. There was still so much he didn’t know about Nesta, but hopefully she would open up to him in the future.

“Well I am heading home so I hope you have a good evening,” Nesta turned in the direction of the subway and walked down the sidewalk.

“And you too Nesta,” Cassian called after her. She raised her hand in response to show she heard him. He turned and walked down the sidewalk to head back to his own home. He was located not too far from Illyrian in a loft apartment.

Cassian unlocked his apartment and made his way inside. He placed his bag near the door and preheated the oven for the salmon he prepared for his dinner. While the oven was preheating Cassian turned on the television to watch the latest crime show. He enjoyed the thrill of the cases that investigators had to solve, but he loved the final moments the most when the officers would find the criminal and bring them to justice.

When the oven beeped he placed the salmon inside and worked on a sweet potato side dish. Cassian was meticulous over meals and prepared them with the utmost care. Rhysand and the others usually asked him for recipes and requested he make the main dish for get-togethers. Cassian didn’t mind though. He enjoyed being relied on with a task that he was happy to do.

Once the salmon was cooked he put spices on it and went to his dining table with the fish and sweet potato. He devoured the meal and afterwards went to shower. His thoughts began straying to Nesta. Wondering if she was soaking in a hot bath right now. Cassian groaned without restraint and quickly finished his shower before he sought the need to release his sexual frustration. He dried his long hair and went into the living room to watch the rest of his show before tuning in for bed.

If he dreamed about a woman with piercing blue-grey eyes that night, then he couldn’t say it was an unpleasant dream. And a lower part of his anatomy had similar thoughts.

“I am in deep shit,” Cassian grumbled in bed and threw an arm over his head. He didn’t know how long he could last before Nesta had him completely undone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in the Nessian ship on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	6. Dog Duo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta is volunteering at a local dog shelter where two canines hold a special place in her heart. And Mor decides to help her out in the search of finding a new owner for one of the dogs.

Dogs barked in their cages as Nesta opened the door to the canine area. She had just ushered out a dog to his new family that had adopted him. It was moments like this that made her smile without restraint at seeing an animal getting the second chance it deserved.

She walked by a few of the cages and greeted each dog by their name before finally arriving at the recently emptied one. She moved into the cage to start cleaning out the dog bed along with the food and water bowls. Closing time had arrived for those who weren't volunteers and this permitted her to have extra moments alone to play with the animals. Granted there were so many in the shelter, but Nesta made it a priority to play with the ones that had yet to receive much human interaction. She looked at the chart and saw five dogs hadn’t been walked frequently as the others today.

Nesta took each of the five dogs out individually to the enclosed yard at the back of the shelter. It was obvious the dogs enjoyed some personal time to stretch and feel the grass underneath their paws. Nesta wished that she could do more for the animals. Sadly there just wasn’t enough time in the day to let them get all the love they deserved.

Today she played with two dogs in particular that had captured her heart since she first arrived. Raja and Blaze were each pit bull mixes. Raja was grey coated pit bull with matching grey eyes. Her personality was extremely calm and serious. Many shelter visitors were afraid of Raja, because she was so quiet and they feared she would spring up to surprise them with vicious barking.

Nesta scoffed at such a claim. She and the other volunteers had never heard Raja bark during her entire stay at the shelter. In Nesta’s opinion she was the calmest dog in the whole shelter and city if she was being honest.

Raja reminded Nesta of herself considering many people couldn’t see past the cool outer shell that they emitted.  Both seemed distant, but in reality were simply independent. The two didn’t rely on others to coddle them with meaningless words or false affection.

Recently another dog had entered into the shelter that perked Nesta’s interest. A young red nosed pit bull mix that couldn’t have been older than a year. The reddish orange coat of the dog earned him the name Blaze. He had a bold personality that fit his name. Where Raja was calm and collected, Blaze was energetic and outgoing. The two dogs surprisingly got along as they became neighbors placed in kennels that were beside one another.

In all honesty Nesta wished she could adopt Blaze as well. Since Raja and Blaze were pit bulls it would be extremely hard to find willing adopters to take them in. There was also the fact that Raja was 3 years old meaning families wouldn’t be as willing to adopt an older dog. Then Blaze had such an exuberant behavior that most shied away.

Nesta sighed in frustration for the predicament that her two favorite dogs were put in. She knelt beside their cages and gave each of them loving scratches behind their ears. “We’ll find you two a home. I won’t give up on that.”

Raja wagged her tail in response and Blaze happily did circles around the cage already anticipating the notion of freedom. Nesta stood up she laughed at Blaze as he continued circling and rubbed up against the cage wanting her to keep petting him.

“That’s it for today boy. I’ll come back tomorrow though.” Nesta gave him one parting touch on the head before heading out to help close the shelter with the other two volunteers this evening.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

Dinner was on the table when Nesta arrived at the apartment. She took off her shoes at the door and turned her head to greet her sisters Elain and Feyre along with Feyre’s best friend, Morrigan.

“Welcome home!” Elain beamed and walked to the front door. “We already set out the plates and food for dinner since we figured you might be running late tonight.”

“You can’t seem to part ways with the shelter dogs can you?” Mor said good-naturedly.

Nesta gave them each a small smile. Her one weekend a month visits to the shelter always helped brighten her mood. “Yea, I even got to spend some time with my two favorite dogs in the world.”

“I thought volunteers weren’t supposed to play favorites?” Feyre laughed and joined them in the dining area.

“Well these two are well worth the titles,” Nesta placed her purse on the counter and walked over to the table to join the others at their seats.

“Thank you again for inviting us over for dinner,” Mor said. “I don’t know if I could take another one of Feyre’s new cooking attempts anymore.”

“Hey at least I haven’t killed anybody with those meals!”

“Yet,” Mor replied sweetly in a singsong voice that could grab anyone’s attention.

“I pity Rhysand whenever you both try to cook,” Nesta helped pour water into each of the glass cups on the table. “Who knows when he will end up in the hospital dying from food poisoning.”

“Very funny Nesta, but let me tell you all a secret,” Feyre whispered loud enough for the table to hear. “Rhys can’t cook to save his life either.”

It was silent for a second before Mor and Elain burst out laughing. Nesta blinked in disbelief.

“Your'e both doomed when it comes to the kitchen!” Mor’s laughter rang like chimes throughout the apartment.

“Well I wouldn’t say _everything_ related to the kitchen is doomed,” Feyre coyly smirked. Nesta used the condensation droplets on the water pitcher to flick cold water onto her sister.

“Not at the table Feyre. In fact how about not at all,” Nesta placed the pitcher on a coaster. “No one needs those images before eating.”

“Good to know you two didn’t starve then. I bet there was a lot of… eating going on then Feyre?” Mor waggled her blonde brows.

Elain choked on the water in her glass and Feyre had the decency to give a light blush.

“Wait,” Elain coughed out. “Was it at his place or your place?”

That made Mor jerk to her senses. “Please tell me you did not do this on the kitchen countertop!”

“No of course not, those are too small to sit on!” Feyre said.

"So you tried it then?” Mor narrowed her eyes at Feyre who looked pointedly at the fruits brought to the table. Mor thought for a moment before her eyes went wide. “Did you… on the table...?”

Feyre at that moment took a long swig of her water while refusing to answer Mor.

 “Oh for goodness sakes can we _please_ not talk about this at the table right now!” Nesta hurriedly passed food around hoping to diverge from the subject. She did not want to hear about her younger sister’s sex life or whether she and Rhys had decided to test new areas of where they could get it on.

“If it makes it any better it wasn’t the table at our apartment Mor,” Feyre said with a slight smile. She thought back on that day happily considering it was the first day Feyre was finally willing to trust someone so completely after the ordeal with Amarantha and the disastrous relationship with Tamlin. Feyre and Rhys had been dating for a good while at that point and the two were swept up in an evening where they opened themselves up to each other and decided to take their relationship forward.

“Well that’s okay then! You get it girl!” Mor reached over to high-five Feyre who returned the enthusiasm.

“Yes congratulations Feyre, but let’s not ruin our appetites before dinner,” Nesta shoved a bit of salad onto her plate along with grilled chicken that was heated up in the microwave.

“All right Nesta I’ll spare you the details,” Feyre chuckled while also serving herself a helping of chicken.

“So how were Raja and Blaze today?” Elain asked.

“Those are the two pit bulls you want to adopt right Nesta?” Feyre cut into her chicken and grabbed the rice that Mor passed to her.

“Yea, but I know the landlord won’t even consider them staying in the apartment,” Nesta twirled her fork around the salad on her plate.

“And there’s no way you can adopt them?” Elain put food on her plate and started to eat. Nesta knew Elain would be content to have a dog in the apartment. Both of them were eager to adopt one and Elain had been smitten with Raja when she met her. It was just a matter of the rules that prevented larger dogs from staying at the apartment that caused the issue of adopting Raja.  They could bring Blaze in at his current size, but he was bound to get bigger. Nesta had even approached the landlord about bringing Blaze in as a foster home when he first arrived at the shelter, but the landlord was firm about pit bulls not being on the property. It was a completely ridiculous rule in Nesta’s opinion.

“I just wish there was some way we could keep them, but that isn’t an option right now.” Nesta ate a small bite of her salad.

“What about seeing if any one you know could adopt them?” Mor offered. “At least then you may be able to visit them after adoption.”

“I’ve tried looking, but none really came to mind that would be suited for Raja and Blaze.”

“So what are the personalities of the dogs?”

"Raja is pretty much the dog version of Nesta,” Feyre explained to Mor. “And Blaze is a younger pit bull who is really active and playful.”

Nesta pulled out her phone to show Mor a photo of the two dogs. The image was one of Nesta’s favorite where both dogs were looking at the camera. Raja had a somber expression while Blaze had his tongue drooping out of his mouth and seemed like he was smiling at the camera.

“Oh wow!” Mor looked at the picture and back to Nesta. “I can totally see a resemblance.”

“Between which one?” Nesta smiled.

“Obviously the bundle of joy who couldn’t crack a smile like her little friend beside her!” Mor and Nesta laughed.

“The orange colored dog reminds me of someone though,” Mor trailed off and kept staring at the photo in thought.

“Let me see,” Feyre held her hand out and took the phone to examine the photo. “Now that you mention it, the dog seems familiar to me too.”

“Well Blaze has a personality like no other,” Nesta began. “He is such a lovable guy and is always ready to go outside to play. Sometimes he tries to taunt me to chase after him, but he comes right back over when he knows playing hard to get isn’t getting him anywhere.” Nesta laughed at a memory that sprang to her mind. “This one time he accidentally tripped over his own feet and fell right into my legs. He wasn't hurt at all though considering he tried to steal some kisses on my cheeks!”

The others at the table chuckled and Elain reached for her glass to take another sip of water after her laughing fit, Suddenly Mor scrambled for the phone still in Feyre’s hand.

“Cassian!”

“What?” The others asked as Mor got took the phone and looked at the photo.

 “What does that brute have anything to do with this?” Nesta narrowed her eyes in confusion at the sudden outburst. She didn’t want to bring up the man that invaded her thoughts too often enough as it was.

“Blaze is the dog version of Cassian!” Mor held out the phone so everyone could see the photo. “Doesn’t he remind you of him?”

“No! Absolutely not!” Nesta wouldn’t stand for Blaze to be compared to that hulking man that annoyed her to no end.

“You’re right!” Feyre reached for the phone again. “Look! They even have similar eye colors! And their personalities are practically the same.”

Nesta took the phone from Feyre and gave the picture a closer look. Looking at Blaze she searched for hints of Cassian. The bright eyes and happy expression were closely alike. Then there was the matter of both having spirited traits in the way they exuded confidence and excitement.

“Well Cassian is not as cute as Blaze,” Nesta put the phone in her pocket hoping to end the conversation.

“But Cassian makes up for his lack of cuteness with his handsomeness,” Feyre smiled at Nesta. Feyre wasn’t going to give up on trying to put Cassian and her sister together.

“Don’t tell him that or it may go straight to his ego,” Nesta took another bite of her meal.

She didn’t notice Mor’s expression that was deep in thought. Mor debated about mentioning more about Cassian. She decided against telling Nesta about her previous history with the man. From what Mor could gauge of Feyre and Rhysand's brief conversation, it was evident that there was some sort of thing was going on between Nesta and Cassian.

Mor knew that Cassian should move on from the past. What happened years ago was a mistake that had haunted them for so long. Tension remained among their circle of friends when Cassian, Azriel and Mor were in the same room. It wasn’t noticeable to many except to those with a keen eye who knew about their history.

Looking at Nesta, Mor wondered if this woman would finally fill a role that Cassian needed in his life. _That is if both didn’t strangle each other first._

Instead Mor asked Nesta to send her a photo of Blaze and Raja. Nesta willingly obliged if a bit curious to the request. Little did she know that this would lead Mor to find someone who was interested in adopting one of the dogs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in the Nessian ship on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	7. Friendly Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian and Nesta have been training for months by this point and have surprisingly not killed each other yet. A heated argument provokes Cassian to say words that have Nesta leaving the gym in fury.

Cassian and Nesta had been training each week on Thursday for almost two months now. The routine was similar each day along with the verbal sparring that took place. If Cassian remembered correctly he was ahead by a couple points in their verbal warfare. Not like he was counting or anything.

He walked over to the bench to sit down for a drink of water. Nesta insisted on continuing to run laps around the gym. She was persistent on building her stamina and learning to control her breathing.

While she ran Cassian checked his phone for new messages. A text from Rhysand stated that Cassian could leave work two hours early on Friday. The reason for being an image that Mor had sent him a little over a month ago.

When Cassian received a text message with an attached photo of two pit bulls he was thrown for a loop at first. Mor explained that the two dogs in the photo were from Prythian’s animal shelter. She told him that the dogs were in need of a good home and that he should visit the shelter when he was free.

For the past year Cassian had mentioned getting a dog, but he was still unsure about it. He needed a pet that could do well in his loft apartment and be willing to fit into his daily schedule of jogging. The dog needed to be independent enough to be alone or be good for a dog sitter if he had to be at work for a long period of time.

Looking at the photo of Raja and Blaze made him wonder if one of these two would be a perfect fit for that lifestyle. After pestering texts from Mor this past week Cassian decided to ask Rhys to let him off work early enough to visit shelter and check out the two dogs.

Nesta finished her final lap and went over to take a drink from her water bottle sitting near Cassian.

“So when are we going to start training in hand to hand combat?” Nesta sat down on the bench and stretched her legs for a cool down.

“We’ll start next week,” Cassian rolled his shoulders to loosen the muscles. From the corner of his eye he saw Nesta brighten in excitement as the prospect of finally being able to throw hits with someone who could fight back. “It will be pretty tame stuff so don’t get too excited.”

Cassian refused to let her fight with another person until she got the technique down on the punching bag and worked up her strength. Nesta was aggravated with the concept of waiting, but he wasn’t going to push her into hand-to-hand boxing when he knew she wasn’t at that stage yet.

“Worried I’ll kick your butt across the gym Cassian?”

“So long as you kiss it better afterwards I have no problems with that,” Cassian laughed at the dark look Nesta gave him.

“We’ll see whose laughing next Thursday,” Nesta turned around and bent over the bench to get her bag. As she was reaching for it Cassian got a good look of her backside as it curved over. She wore running shorts today that revealed most of her legs before the fabric hid the skin midway up her thigh. The shorts were almost torturous to Cassian. They were long and loose enough to hide a part of Nesta’s body that had suddenly gained his attention.

“Are you planning to kiss my ass Cassian, or are you just the interested in my shorts?” Nesta turned her head to watch Cassian’s reaction and pulled her bag up as she rose.

Cassian blinked and effectively masked his embarrassed at being caught checking her out. He wondered if Nesta knew just how much Cassian admired the way her body moved or how her steely eyes intently focused during their routines

“Was that a request sweetheart?” His voice drawled deeply.

Nesta flexed her fingers in and out of a fist shape. “If you keep talking nonsense then your face is going to be kissing my fist.”

Cassian stood up into Nesta’s space, but she refused to step away. He could easily brush his hands against her fingers that curled into a fist. His blood pulsated through his veins as he resisted the urge to take her hand in his. Wanting to soothe the tension that rippled underneath her skin.

_He craved to feel her. Both physically and on a deeper level that no one had even touched the surface of._

Nesta’s breath quickened. The mood between them during this past month had been mostly professional as she requested. Granted she let him get by with a couple flirtatiously under-toned comments, but this was different.  The air surrounding them changed.

It felt as though the oxygen had left her lungs and was feeding an ember. A constant flickering flame that was ember that was starting to burn into something more.

_Something dangerous._

“Let’s just see if you can keep up with me Nesta,” Cassian’s previous playful manner shifted as he made eye contact. Strands of his dark hair almost grazed the top of Nesta’s head as he bent down to speak more softly. “Then we can talk about kissing.”

Nesta leapt back from him. His whispered words had an effect on her that made it seem as though he shouted instead. Cassian’s statement echoed in her brain as she ran through any possible words to fling back at him.

“You are getting ahead of yourself,” Nesta moved forward with eyes glinting. She prepared to launch an attack that Cassian braced himself for. “Do you honestly think I would _kiss_ someone like you?”

Cassian stiffened. “Someone like me?”

“You think any woman will just fall for your arrogance,” Nesta stepped closer. Her steel will did not bending to the hazel piercing eyes that were trying to see through words.

He grinned slowly. “Well I haven’t failed yet and the women seemed pleased by the attention.”

_Cocky bastard._

Nesta saw red flare her vision. “Are you so desperate that you need those women to compensate for your lacking qualities?”

“Sweetheart please enlighten me on my…lacking qualities.” Cassian was eager to hear what she had to say next. He knew he was brash and handsome. Ladies were easily seduced by his charm and confidence.

_Except Nesta. She was the first person who didn’t fall quickly to his personality or easy smile._

“You’re afraid,” Nesta looked into his eyes. “You worry people will see you as worthless and expendable.” His eyes narrowed at her words. “You try so hard to prove to everyone just how valuable you are and overcompensate by trying to please as many people as possible.”

“Is that so?” Cassian crossed his arms. His spoke gruffly and clenched his hands into fists as he awaited the final blow that Nesta would give him.

“In the end you’re just a man who clings to any sort of attention someone can give him, because without it you’re nobody. No one will need or want you.” Nesta took a breath. The killing blow ready to strike. “And that means you’ll be alone with no one to care what happens to you.”

_Bitch._

In a flash Cassian was on the offense. Her sharp words striking true and causing instinct to kick in from years of practice. He knew what it was like to be alone and abandoned. He’d be damned to go back to that state again.

“It’s a good thing you know so much about me Nesta, because I could say a great deal about you.”

“Really? Like you would even – ”

“You’re afraid too Nesta,” Cassian interrupted. He badly wanted to hurl words back at her. He almost wished he could make her feel what he felt inside at this moment. But he wouldn’t do that. No one deserved that type of pain. Even Nesta who clawed into him and opened his old scars that were still healing.

He wanted to break down her defenses. Make them crumble into mist with his fury. Or at least see over her walls and understand why she sought to cut others down before they even had a chance to get close her.

“Maybe if you got over your own pride you could see that your words are only going to suffocate you,” Cassian gritted out. “And by the time you realize it, no one is going to want to raise you up, because you’ve pushed them so far away.”

“I don’t _need_ anyone to save me.”

“Everyone needs saved at one time or another.”

Nesta opened her mouth to say something, but thought against it. Cassian could see it. How she almost slipped into saying something she might have regretted. A weakness she wasn’t willing to share.

“Well I guarantee I won’t be calling for a hero to come save me and least of all I won’t be asking for your opinion.” Nesta turned away. Her golden brown hair in a ponytail barely swished across Cassian’s chest. He caught a whiff of her sweet scent. The same one that had him wanting to grasp her body closer and breathe her in. She walked away from him, fully intending on going to the women’s changing room. Cassian wasn’t done yet.

“Running away again Nesta?” He taunted. “I guess that’s the answer to all your problems.”

She stopped immediately. Her head facing forward and refusing to react any further to his words.

“Because that’s always your solution,” Cassian continued with his feet standing apart in a stance similar to a warrior addressing his army. Confidence and unfiltered honesty radiated through his words. “You hide when things get tough and let others pick up the mess left behind.”

Still no reaction, but she remained standing there.

“You left Feyre to hold your family together and now here you are standing as a spiteful woman who can’t even take a few compliments or nice words without biting off someone’s head.” Cassian didn’t know why Nesta was so distrustful of his kindness, but he was done with her indifferent attitude. “It’s not hard to see why people don’t stick around when all you do is put everyone else down.”

Nesta stiffened and Cassian knew that he hit a mark.

“Thank you for stating the obvious,” Nesta said steadily, but Cassian could have sworn he heard her voice hitch slightly at the end. She walked out the room without turning back.

Cassian stood there in the gym. He won the battle, but lost something more important. He had struck too hard against an opponent that wasn’t even the enemy. Nesta with her strong will and poisonous words should have been able to handle his verbal sparring. What should have been the usual banter escalated into something that cut into her more deeply than he ever anticipated.

_He knew he had fucked up. Badly._

Cassian hurried out the door and turned to the locker room with doors leading to the men and women’s changing rooms. He waited outside intending to apologize to Nesta for his words. Explaining that he just wanted her to trust him and that he would never try to hurt her.

 _But I did and now I’ve probably lost my chance to be friends with her, let alone something more._ Cassian untied his hair and ran a hand through the thick locks that curled with sweat.

_Gods what have I done…How can I make her believe that all I wanted was for her to give me a chance. A chance to show her I’m not like the people who hurt her. I pushed to hard on her to open up and now I’ve pushed her farther away._

After almost ten minutes Cassian was beginning to wonder if Nesta was going to stay in the changing room to avoid seeing him. He knocked on the door.

“Nesta can you hear me?” Cassian called through the door loud enough to where he hoped she could hear, but quiet enough not to draw attention to other gym visitors in the other rooms. “I need to talk to you.”

Silence was his only answer.

“Please Nesta will you let me – I screwed up okay?” Cassian awkwardly stumbled over his words. He spoke through the door wishing she would come out so he could properly apologize to her. “I’m not the best at apologies, but will you at least let me try? If you want I’ll let you get a couple of punches on me free of charge. How does that sound?”

“You’re handing out hits to the face?” A voice spoke from the open doorway of the locker room leading to the hallway.

Cassian turned around and saw Azriel standing there with a gym bag in hand. Usually Azriel sparred with Cassian on Fridays, but since Cassian was leaving work early tomorrow the two decided to move their workout up a day earlier.  

“Of course you had to walk in and hear that,” Cassian walked over to greet his best friend. Many times people confused them and Rhys as brothers due to their similar looks. Cassian the most muscular out of the trio while Azriel had a more leaner body frame of the three.

“Have you finally lost all your brain cells or do you usually talk to doors when no one is around?” Azriel questioned.

“No I was – ” Cassian stopped. Realizing that he wasn’t sure if he wanted Azriel to know about Nesta. Feyre and Rhysand did, but no one else in his circle of friends was aware of his interest toward Nesta. If Azriel knew then Mor would definitely find out and Cassian didn’t know if…whatever this was between him, Azriel and Mor would be strained even further.

“I assume this is about the girl you’ve been pining for in the past month,” Azriel went to his locker and opened it. Cassian stared in open shock.

“How did you –”

“Please Cassian you have been quiet and quick to change the subject anytime someone asks about your workout sessions on Thursday along with the fact that Feyre keeps questioning you about how you’re surviving this new student or yours.” Azriel turned to face him. “Something, or I should say someone, has obviously been on your mind this whole month. And truthfully I began to notice almost two months ago with your stranger than usual behavior.”

“I hate how you always find out about everybody’s business,” Cassian grumbled and leaned against the wall. “Honestly it’s like you shadow people with how much information you get about them.”

Azriel faintly smiled. “Well I guess you could say it’s one of my many talents.”

Cassian snorted. “Sure and why don’t you add ‘can’t hurt a fly with those spindly arms’ while your at it.”

Obviously Azriel _did_ have strong muscles on him, but Cassian couldn’t miss the chance to tease his friend. At times he even struggled to hold his own when the two were in a match.

“If you’re looking for the girl you won’t find her here,” Azriel stripped his shirt off revealing tattoos similar to Rhys and Cassian’s own markings. Although each tattoo was unique, they were all comprised of a mixture of swirls and jagged lines of varying thickness. The black ink curled around different lengths on their arms, shoulders, chest and back. Azriel swapped his shirt for another to exercise in.

“What do you mean she’s not here?” Cassian kicked off the wall and stepped closer to his friend who finished pulling the shirt over his head.

“Women hardly ever come here Cassian and earlier a girl left the gym as I was walking inside,” Azriel motioned his head to the main area of the gym where the entrance door was. “She was in a hurry and almost bumped into me on her way out. Didn’t even say anything, but kept her head down.”

“Shit,” Cassian swore. Now he knew he had fucked up big time. Nesta had to be upset if she just fled as Azriel described.

“If I were you I would call to apologize for whatever mess you got yourself in.” Azriel adjusted his shoelaces from underneath the sweatpants he planned to wear today.

“I don’t even have her damn number,” Cassian said.

Azriel blinked and looked up at him. “You, the _Casanova_ , never got her number? Honestly Cassian there must be something wrong with you if you haven’t even asked for her number yet.”

Cassian rolled his eyes at the nickname. His reputation with charming women had earned him the title. “I _have_ asked, but she kept saying that she wanted the training to be strictly professional which meant no exchanging contact information.” Cassian rubbed the bridge of his nose and tried to push away the on-coming headache. “She even refused to take my number as well.”

“Looks like you’re shit out of luck then,” Azriel chuckled. “Better luck next time.”

Cassian wanted to say that he wasn’t sure if there would be a next time with Nesta. _But he wasn’t going to lie down and admit defeat that easy._ Instead he went in the training room with Azriel. Cassian grabbed his phone and sent a quick text to Feyre asking if she could meet with him on Saturday and that he needed her help with Nesta.

Time to try another battle strategy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in the Nessian ship on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	8. Cassian In The Doghouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian has upset Nesta and is trying to think of ways to apologize to her. In the mean time he visits the animal shelter to search for two dogs that Mor has sent him pictures about. He has been wanting a dog for years now, but hasn’t found one to fit his lifestyle. This visit may provide Cassian with a dog he’s been searching for along.

After work on Friday Cassian went to the animal shelter that Mor informed him about. He walked inside and followed the barking sounds to the kennels. Rows of cages were occupied with a dogs of differing breeds and mixes.

He walked by three rows of pens before his eye caught sight of what he had been looking for. Two pit bull mixes were placed side-by-side in their own little corner area. He approached the cages and noticed immediately how the duo contrasted each other in both looks and personality.

The reddish-coated one grabbed his attention first with the excitement that rippled through the dog’s body. His claws clicked against the flooring as he paced his cage and rubbed his side against the chain link door in the hopes of being petted.

“Hey there boy,” Cassian knelt down and placed his hand flat against the metal. The dog happily brushed against Cassian's palm through the open slots and would turn his head to lick at his fingers on occasion. Cassian looked up and read the name “Blaze” along with a description of the dog on laminated paper attached to the door. He was a pit bull mix and was approximately a year old. Cassian continued to pet Blaze through the fence and enjoyed how the pup reacted to the attention.

Cassian noticed grey fur from the corner of his eye and turned to see the neighboring pit bull watching him with feigned disinterest. The dog watched him with grey eyes, but sat still as she evaluated the newcomer.

“Do you want some attention too?” Cassian asked. The grey dog turned away from him and went to lay down with its back facing him.

“Someone must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed,” Cassian directed his attention back to Blaze. “Your neighbor doesn’t seem to like me.”

Blaze wagged his tail and Cassian stood up to read the other dog’s information. Raja was her name and she was a 3 year-old pit bull mix.

“Ah so you’re the Raja I've been looking for,” Cassian went to her cage and knelt down like he did to Blaze. Raja turned her head toward him, but didn’t move to greet him. Taking a closer revealed that she had flecks of blue in her grey eyes. Cassian immediately thought of someone with similar eyes who he had recently upset and wondered if she could forgive him.

“Seems like I have a knack for upsetting pretty ladies recently,” Cassian said aloud though no one, but the dogs heard. 

Raja continued to watch him, but slowly sat up. She stared him down waiting to see what he would do next.

“You remind me of someone,” Cassian gave the dog a half-smile. “She is the stunning women who can’t seem to stop pushing my buttons and making me want to push back. She's making me work harder than I ever had to with any other woman, but this one – Nesta – she… she makes me feel so much that I don’t know if I want to argue with her or kiss the words right out of her mouth.”

Cassian sighed. “But she hates me and probably doesn’t even want to see my face after what I said yesterday.”

Raja took a few steps to the chain link door and sat down facing Cassian. She didn’t reach forward with her nose like Blaze did. All she continued to do was look right off to the side as if she was barely acknowledging Cassian’s presence.  But she had moved closer than before so Cassian slowly reached forward and set his palm against the door.

Raja’s eyes flickered to the hand, but she still didn’t move her head closer like he expected a dog would do. If he wanted to touch her then _he_ was going to have to take the next step and reach out to her.

“I guess I can take a hint. Just don’t snap at my hand alright?” Cassian slipped his fingers through the holes of the metal wiring and felt her soft fur against him. Raja leaned into the touch and gradually wagged her tail. “See I’m not so bad am I girl?”

Blaze stuck his nose out of the cage wondering where all the attention had gone. Cassian gave Raja and Blaze a petting simultaneously with his hands. The two dogs enjoyed the physical contact from what Cassian could see.

“Those two seem to like you,” A shelter worker said. She stopped at the sight of Cassian’s handsome features, but then took notice of the dogs he was giving attention to.

Cassian looked up at the worker. “They're good dogs and seem pretty friendly. Although Raja here gave me the cold shoulder at first.”

The worker chuckled. “Yea she’s like that with everyone so don’t take it too personally. Are you thinking about adopting them?”

“I'm looking to adopt one day, but I wanted to see the dogs firsthand and get to know them a bit better,” Cassian chuckled as Blaze tried to rub against his hand like a cat yearning for more affection. “My friend told me about them and she seems to think I would like them.”

“She?” The worker’s voice trailed off for a moment in confusion. “Oh!” She gasped out as if she had come to a revelation. “I bet it was Nesta that told you about them!”

Cassian’s head whipped toward the women. “Nesta? You mean Nesta Archeron?”

“Yea! She volunteers here at the shelter and she just _loves_ those two there,” the women nodded to the dogs. Their attention perked up at the sound of Nesta’s name. “Nesta takes care of Raja and Blaze the most since they don’t usually get a lot of notice from visitors.”

“Really?” Cassian was both surprised by the fact that Nesta worked here and the thought that these two lovable dogs didn’t get the attention they deserved.

“She has been trying to find someone to adopt them, but it’s rare to see anyone want pit bulls. And although she doesn’t talk often to the rest of us workers here, you can tell she has a firm connection with these two dogs.” The women sighed. “It’s obvious that Nesta wants the best for all the dogs, but she has a soft spot for the ones that are at risk for not getting adopted.”

Cassian let the words sink in. Committing them to memory since they were hints to a side of Nesta that he's never seen. Nesta having a soft spot under that hard outer shell made him more hopeful to actually see it for himself. _If only she’ll let me get close enough to show her that she can trust me._

“What happens if no one adopts them?” Cassian asked.

The women became slightly uncomfortable at the question. “Well, we can’t always keep the animals here for a certain period of time considering we reach capacity at times.”

“So you...put them down?” Cassian shot her an incredulous look.

“Sadly, but only very rarely does it have to happen,” the worker admitted.

The idea still didn’t sit well with Cassian. He looked back to Raja and Blaze. Their gazes were capturing for different reasons. Cool blue-grey eyes with a calm demeanor to match and the other with bright golden hazel eyes that were optimistic.

“Can I walk them?”

“Of course! But only one at a time,” the women handed him a leash she had. “If you follow the paw prints they will lead you to the play area with separated enclosed areas so you can have one to yourself.”

“Thanks,” Cassian first took Blaze out to walk. He played with the dog for a good twenty minutes before he decided that he should also walk Raja before he left. “Alright Blaze! Come here boy!” Cassian called to Blaze after he had fetched a toy Cassian hurled to the other side of the sectioned off area they had claimed. Blaze bounded over and sat beside Cassian. He was still exuberant as he bounced around while Cassian put the leash back on. The two headed inside and Cassian swapped the leash onto Raja.

She was excited as Cassian led the way to the play area where he watched her walk around for most of the twenty minutes. She didn’t want to play after five minutes, but she would always come to him when he called out her name. They returned back inside after twenty minutes.

After putting her back in the cage Cassian was torn to leave them. He had a great time with both dogs and knew he would be back to see them in the future. He went to the front desk to return the leash and ask for information about Raja and Blaze. The older man at the desk took the leash along with Cassian’s name and contact information in case he considered adopting in the future.

Cassian drove back home thinking of the dogs. He could see himself with Blaze. That bundle of joy would take well to his adventurous routine, which would come in handy during the summer when he went on hiking and camping trips. Cassian saw Blaze as a kindred spirit. The dog was also young so Cassian could train him easily compared to an older dog.

But Raja called to him as well. She was older than Blaze and had a personality that reminded him so much of Nesta.

_And there was still the issue of trying to talk to Nesta._

Cassian sighed and when he got home he saw that Feyre had texted him. She told him to stop by tomorrow around 2 p.m. so they could figure out how to best approach Nesta. Feyre made it clear that she wanted a thorough explanation of what happened on Thursday that caused Cassian to call on her for help. Another sigh escaped him. He could feel a headache coming over him in anticipation of Feyre’s reaction to what occurred between him and Nesta.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

The next day on Saturday morning Nesta arrived to volunteer at the shelter. Her week had been decent with classwork and waitressing at the restaurant, but it was what happened on Thursday that aggravated her the most. It was supposed to be a normal training day with Cassian. They would go through warm-ups and Nesta would follow Cassian’s directions on what sort of routine they were doing for the hour.

There was always some sort of banter between them. Cassian would flirt and Nesta would brush it off or rebound back with words to cut him down a notch. Then he announced that Nesta would start hand-to-hand boxing next week. A moment she had been waiting for during the months since she started training with him.

Then it went to shit. It wasn’t necessarily an argument that occurred between them. Coy remarks and barbed words mixed together in an explosive combination. It was only a matter of time before someone got hurt.

_“It’s not hard to see why people don’t stick around when all you do is put everyone else down.”_

Cassian’s words opened up doors that Nesta had chained shut. She knew she failed her sister. Knew that if she didn’t keep up her defenses that it could mean Elain might get hurt too. Nesta was meant to be the strong, resilient eldest sister that didn’t need anyone to rely on.

And now it was backfiring. She had closed herself off from everyone in an attempt to not show her emotions that she easily felt. Emotions overcame her constantly, but her façade outer shell prevented others from seeing it. Nesta used words to keep everyone away and from getting to close. If they saw what was lurking inside then Nesta knew it would result in worse repercussions. She couldn’t allow them to see her weakness and use it against her. _Or worse pity her._

But when Cassian said those words, it unleashed that hidden part of her. His perceptive eyes shone light upon the dark piece Nesta kept sheltered away. She hated him for it. Instead she stood there frozen and held back the sea of emotions that sought to drown her.

She did the one thing he told her she always did. Nesta ran away. She left the gym in a hurry and quickly walked back to the subway. She didn’t care that she was still in her workout clothes and the air was starting to get chilly with autumn approaching.

The only thing that mattered at the time was getting away.

Two days had passed and Nesta's lingering pain wouldn’t go away. At least she was able to spend time with the animals at the shelter. They wouldn’t judge and turn away from her. The dogs welcomed her gladly, because they only knew Nesta as a caretaker who had never hurt them. She was a warm and caring person who brightened their day instead of the cold shrew people believed her to be.

After a couple hours of volunteering Nesta went to visit Raja and Blaze. Her two favorite dogs were happy to see her as she gave them loving attention. Not long after Nesta had been with the two dogs another volunteer approached. Her name was Clare from what Nesta remembered during their brief encounters.

“Checking on Raja and Blaze?”

“Yea,” Nesta replied as Blaze gave her hand a few licks. “I missed them since last time.”

“Well at least they are getting some human interaction,” Clare stopped before walking away. “They seem to be getting popular though now. A man came in here yesterday looking for those two in particular.”

Nesta’s head turned around in shock. “Are you serious? Who was he? What did he look like? Was he nice to them?” Nesta questioned intently. She didn’t want any of the dogs to be taken home with someone that may have shady intentions. Nesta would never forgive herself if one of the dogs went home to a cruel owner. She couldn’t even stomach the thought of little Blaze and his happy personality in such an environment. And who knows how Raja would cope in such a situation.

Clare laughed at the questioning. “Don’t worry! He seemed like a nice guy. Pretty handsome too if I might add.”

“Being good-looking doesn’t make someone a good person,” Nesta countered.

“Yea, but this guy was nice enough to take both Raja and Blaze out for a walk each. He was with them for almost an hour before he left.”

Well that was an optimistic sign. Usually people visited a dog for ten or fifteen minutes outside. This man though had taken a considerable amount of time to play with Raja and Blaze.

“Do you know if he was looking to adopt?” Nesta asked.

Clare nodded once. “Seemed like he was pretty interested. I think he might also know you. He knew your last name at least.”

“What did he look like?”

“Oh he had this nice smile and obviously worked out,” Clare paused as she tried to remember the details. "His skin was dark and he had long black hair. Or at least I think it was long. It’s longer than usual for most guys we see around here.”

Nesta rummaged her memory of people she had talked to over the recent years to convince them of adopting Raja and Blaze. No one accurately fit the description, but she would have remembered such a person when she was out trying to find adopters for the two dogs.  Shouldn’t she?

“I would check the front desk and see if they got his contact information,” Clare interrupted Nesta’s thoughts. “Jonathan is working today and I know he worked yesterday also. Maybe he knows who your mystery man is.”

“Thanks, I’ll be sure to ask him when I head out.”

Nesta finished around 3 p.m. after she walked Raja, Blaze and another dog that hadn’t been outside often this week. On the way out she stopped at the welcome desk to ask Jonathan about any potential adopters that came in yesterday.

“We only had one that gave his information, but he also asked for information about your two dogs.”

“He actually asked for information about Raja and Blaze?”

“Sure did,” Jonathan said. “Seemed like a nice fellow and the ladies in the room here were ogling at him the whole time he was writing his information.”

“Well that young man was quite handsome,” Abigail, one of the older women that worked at the shelter said. “If only I was in my twenties again,” Abigail sighed and Jonathan laughed.

“Oh come on Abby how can you think of another man when you got me here beside you each day.” Abigail and Jonathan were the old married couple that worked at the shelter. Their conversations always brought laughter from other workers. Even Nesta was tempted to chuckle at their antics, but she still had some questions to ask.

“Did you catch his name by any chance?”

“Oh not you too Nesta!” Jonathan exclaimed. “All my girls are going to go off finding men at this rate.”

“His name was Cassian if I heard correctly,” Abigail said and swatted her husband’s shoulder humorously. He exaggerated his voice as he kept talking about losing all the lovely ladies of the shelter to the handsome newcomer.

Nesta was stunned. Surely it wasn’t her Cassian they were talking about.

_No. He wasn’t **her** Cassian. He wasn’t her **anything**. But maybe he was here yesterday. _ _Which meant he was interested in Raja and Blaze._

Nesta was unsure if this was a good or bad thing.

“Thanks for your help, but I have to get home and wash up.”

Abigail and Jonathan said goodbye and Nesta went to catch the subway back home.

She thought about Cassian as she sat down in the hard plastic seat of the subway. _Could he be the person to adopt Raja or Blaze?_ Her thoughts circulated in a never-ending cycle that went back and forth between what she discovered today and what she knew about Cassian. The next time she saw him she was going to hound him for answers. Especially if he was considering taking one her favorite dogs.

“Elain I’m back,” Nesta called when she walked inside their shared apartment.

“Welcome home!” Elain was sitting on the couch watching TV with homework spread in front of her.

“Do you mind if we order take-out tonight?” Nesta put her shoes by the door and walked into the living room.

“Chinese food actually sounds really good right now,” Elain said and wrote something down in her notebook.

“I'm going to order it before I hop in the shower. Sound good?”

 “Yep sounds good to me, but can we order extra fortune cookies?”

“Sure I can do that. So you want the regular order I assume,” Nesta went to the kitchen and pulled out the Chinese restaurant’s number off the fridge.

“Yea I just want the same as usual,” Elain went back to writing her homework out as Nesta put in their orders. She then laid money on the table for the order for when the delivery person arrived. Afterwards Nesta went through the living room and into her bedroom to get a few of her bathroom essentials.

“Oh Nesta how is your group project coming along for class?” Elain asked when Nesta walked out of her room.

“Well it was better this week, but we still have to meet up to make final changes to the presentation.”

“Hopefully your final group assignment won’t be so hectic,” Elain said.

“I hope so too. I'm going to shower though so if the delivery guy gets here I put money on the table for you to pay him.”

“I can pay for half Nesta,” Elain added. Usually they spilt the costs for takeout, but Nesta always tried to make sure to pay the larger half.

“Don’t worry about it, I got us covered since I got a nice amount of tips this week.”

“But you should try to save that money for yourself Nesta. I don’t want you to pay for most of the stuff in the apartment,” Elain said solemnly wishing she could earn more money at the flower shop to help pay off more of the rent and utilities. They each paid half for the expenses, but the furniture and food was mostly purchased by Nesta.

“I want _you_ to save money though Elain, because one day you want to open your own shop right?”

Elain nodded. It was her dream to pursue her own business with botany involved. But that didn’t mean Nesta had to carry most of the expenses on her shoulders. “Just promise me you’ll let me pay the full amount for takeout next time.”

Nesta sighed, but grudgingly agreed. She would just make sure they ordered a bit cheaper food the next time they decided to order in. She didn’t want Elain to spend so much money when she could save it for herself.

“If you need me I’ll be in the shower,” Nesta went into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Closing herself off in the hopes of seeking reprieve from the stress induced week caused by a man who couldn’t seem to stop invading her life in unexpected ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in the Nessian ship on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	9. Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian goes to Nesta’s apartment seeking forgiveness for his words during their previous training session. Will he get more than he bargained for when Nesta finds out who shows up at her place?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in the Nessian ship on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!
> 
> [Link to Archeron apartment aesthetic](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com/post/154259445975/archeron-apartment-who-nestas-voice-rang) 

“So let me get this straight,” Cassian said holding up a folder of paperwork. “This is your idea of getting Nesta to talk with me?”

“She wanted to be in the loop about the proposal for her sister’s potential business,” Rhys said from Feyre and Mor’s living room. “Since I am taking Feyre out to run errands and have dinner tonight, I won’t be able to give her the papers.”

“Which is where you come in and grow a pair Cassian,” Feyre walked from out of her room carrying her purse. “You need to go talk to my sister and we’re giving you a perfectly good reason to do so.”

“That’s if she doesn’t kick me out at the sight of me.” Cassian didn’t think Nesta would be inclined to invite him inside her apartment once he got there, let alone talk with him before slamming the door in his face.

“Just mention the papers and she'll have to at least give you an opening to say something.” Feyre walked over to Rhys who hugged her around the waist.

“She’s right Cassian,” Rhys said. “Nesta is invested in making sure that this business proposal goes through. She’ll want the papers and to know what the status is.”

Cassian imagined it would not be easy as Feyre and Rhys made it out to be. But he wasn’t going to turn down the opportunity to talk with Nesta.

“I better head over to your sisters’ apartment then,” Cassian said. He placed the folder underneath his arm.

“Good luck Cassian,” Feyre said. “And don’t mess it up this time around.”

“Don’t worry,” Cassian smiled confidently. “I’ve got this covered. You two enjoy your evening out and try to stay out of trouble.”

“You better follow your advice too Cassian,” Rhys said.

“What are you talking about? I _am_ trouble,” Cassian grinned and waved goodbye as he left the two for their romantic evening. Faintly he could hear Feyre and Rhys chuckling as he shut the door.

He didn’t consider how time would go by so fast as he drove through traffic and arrived at an apartment located in the southern part of Prythian. It wasn’t the best neighborhood from the looks of it, but at least it wasn’t the worse. Cassian had seen and lived in those kind of run-down communites during his younger years. Still the thought of Nesta and her younger sister living in an area that wasn’t the safest in Prythian had him on edge. He wished they had a place on the north side near Feyre’s place. At least then he would feel better about their safety and know that they were nearby in case they needed Feyre or any of his friends.

_Or if Nesta needed me._

Cassian shut the thought away. He was getting ahead of himself and needed to focus on apologizing first before Nesta ever sought him out. He parked his SUV across the street from the apartment.

He lost himself to the memories of Thursday’s workout session with Nesta. For almost ten minutes Cassian debated about what he was going to say when he saw her again.

“Boil me,” Cassian grumbled and stiffly walked across the street. No sense in holding off the inevitable. It was better to approach her now before Cassian lost all sense of his courage to the nervous feelings that bubbled in his gut.

He walked up the stairs to the third floor and went down the hall a few doors before reaching his intended destination. From inside the apartment he could softly hear a TV.

His hand held the folder of paperwork in one hand while the other reached out to give the door a couple of knocks with his knuckle. Soft footsteps approached the door. He could imagine the person on the other side of the door looking through the peephole to see who stood outside.

“Can I help you?” A light cheerful voice asked through the wooden door. _Definitely **not** Nesta._

“I need to talk with Nesta,” Cassian said. “I have some papers for her.”

“Hang on just a moment.” The door opened and a woman who was must be Feyre and Nesta’s sister. Her hair was exactly the same shade, but her eyes were brown and she had an aura that shone as brightly as her smile. “Come on inside.”

Cassian followed her inside and stood in the kitchen. Chinese takeout boxes were on the table. Chopsticks were sitting on napkins and a large pile of fortune cookies sat in the center of the meal. He could smell the sweet and spicy orange sauce wafting from the white boxes. Cassian tried not to wrinkle his nose. He enjoyed Chinese food every now and then, but he could tell from the smell that this food in particular wasn’t the best and would have a dull taste in comparison to the authentic Chinese restaurants he visited.

“Sorry if I came at a bad time,” Cassian nodded to the table. “Looks like you were about to eat.”

“Oh no worries. The food just got here not long ago and we're still finishing up some work before eating.” Elain glanced at the folder he had. “I assume you’re from Nesta’s class then?’

Cassian raised a brow in confusion. “Class?”

He knew Nesta was a senior in college from what Feyre mentioned. He tried to remember if she was in school for business, marketing or law.

“I thought Nesta mentioned something about a business presentation for her final,” Elain trailed off.

“Well this is for business,” Cassian said. That much was true. Granted it was real-life business work and not classwork, but business related all the same.

“Let me just tell her you’re here. She just got out of the shower so it might take her a minute.” Elain went further into the living and through an open doorway.

Cassian coughed lightly. He tried not to think too much about Nesta being in the shower and the fact that she may very well be in a state of undress.

_Her pale skin flushed from warm water with droplets running down her shoulder and back before following the curves of her bottom cheeks._

Another cough escaped Cassian and he tried looking elsewhere beside the door that led to the open bathroom. Apparently his cock couldn’t resist the temptation that Nesta posed for him. _One step at a time Cassian. First you need to make up and apologize to her before anything else was in the foreseeable future._

The apartment was sparsely decorated with Bohemian theme. Three different colored beanbags and a small black sofa were the seating arrangements in the living room. Plants of all sorts were placed throughout the rooms he could see. Books, photos and other décor lined the wall shelves above the sofa. On the far end of the living room was a windowsill and door leading to a small balcony filled with plants he had viewed from outside on the street.

“Excuse me,” Elain’s voice called to Cassian from the doorway. “I forgot to catch your name.”

Cassian diverted his attention away from his evaluation of Nesta’s home. “It’s Cassian.”

He stood quietly as Elain smiled and told him her name as well. She left back through the open doorway and faintly he could hear her knocking on a door with her voice drifting inaudibly through the apartment. Within seconds the calmness was disturbed.

“Who?!” Nesta’s voice rang out. Cassian braced himself for the confrontation as he heard Nesta fumble in her room. _Did she trip over something or throw an object just now?_

A door opened in the apartment and fast footsteps approached. Then Nesta appeared through the doorway. In all her glaring and furious glory.

She obviously had thrown her clothes on in a flurry. She wore faded blue pajama shorts with boxer dog print on them. He could tell they were old considering the fraying spots and a small hole at the bottom hem that showed a bit of her pale thigh through it. The pajama ensemble was completed with a plain dark grey shirt with short sleeves.

Cassian might have said she looked cute in those dog shorts. Her wet hair fell down around her shoulders. He realized it was the first time he saw her with her hair loose from either a braid or ponytail.

“What in the hell are _you_ doing here?” Nesta ate up the space between them followed by Elain who was clearly confused and concerned at what was occurring.

“Nice to see you too Nesta,” Cassian plastered an innocent smile on his face in the hopes of calming her down a few notches.

Nesta stood directly in front of him and gave him a once over. She looked up into his eyes and she appeared to be searching for something in his gaze.

She took a deep breath before continuing slowly with irritation tinting her words. As though the words brought her pain. “Can you explain why you are at _my_ apartment Cassian?”

“Well I came for a couple of reasons, but Feyre wanted me to give you this,” He held out the folder and Nesta immediately jolted to grab the folder from him. She clutched it closer as Elain walked closer.

“I thought you came about the business class?” Elain questioned and gave a perplexed glance at the folder.

“He did,” Nesta said a bit forcibly. “But I had to ask Feyre to convey some questions to Rhysand about running a business to help with my project’s research.  Cassian was just returning them.”

Nesta looked pleadingly at Cassian to play along. He didn’t understand why Nesta wanted to keep it a secret about the business proposal, but he fell into the role with ease and smiled.

“Yea. Rhysand had a lot of information to give so I was given the task as messenger to make sure it got back to Nesta,” Cassian gave Elain an honest grin. “Sorry for the confusion, but I still need to talk with Nesta about business.”

He gave Nesta a sly glance. One that hinted they were far from done talking.

Nesta gave a single huff of annoyance at the position she was placed in. She didn’t want Elain knowing about the business project Nesta was lining up for her. She wanted to keep it a surprise until she knew Elain was fully intending on pursuing her dreams of owning a business and Nesta wanted to make sure investors were ready to help make the process easier for her sister. Now Nesta had to deal with Cassian, but she knew it wasn’t going to be easy to get rid of him. He clearly wanted to talk about something else other than Rhysand’s papers he was sent to deliver.

“Let’s talk outside then,” Nesta made a move to the door.

“In your pajamas?” Cassian asked. “Sweetheart despite how adorable you look right now I doubt you want to chill your cheeks in the hall.”

She snapped her head around to look at him. She almost tore into him, but remembered her sister standing there looking even more puzzled than before.

“Fine,” Nesta ground out the word and turned to the living room. “Elain you can start eating if you’re hungry. I promise this won’t be too long, but don’t wait up on me.”

“Are you sure?” Elain evaluated Cassian. Nesta was tough, but Cassian’s muscular frame and the way he had his eyes set on Nesta made Elain wonder what was going on between them.

“It’s alright Elain. I’ll be back shortly,” Nesta gave her a look that hopefully conveyed confidence to ease her younger sister’s worry.

“Okay,” Elain walked into the kitchen to get drinks from the fridge for when her sister returned. She was still unsure about this man, but she remembered his name in passing during conversations with Feyre and Mor.

“Follow me,” Nesta said without looking at Cassian. She walked into the living room barefooted. Her footsteps much softer this time around as she led him back through the open doorway she came through. They entered an area that led off to two doors. One to Elain’s bedroom and the other to Nesta’s.

Nesta strode into her room and waited for him to walk in before shutting the door behind them with a firm click. Cassian surveyed his surroundings. The room is small. A bed with black and white bedding sits beside a small black painted dresser and a closet. The white brick wall alongside the bed has photos taped up in a random pattern.

The room was filled with her scent. Vanilla and biscotti teased Cassian’s senses. Nesta’s presence was in every crevice of her room and he wanted to be engulfed by it.

Nesta placed the folder on the dresser before turning to cross her arms. She tapped her foot impatiently. Nesta is on edge as Cassian evaluates her bedroom. His large size fills the space far too much for her liking, but she couldn’t risk him blabbering about her business proposal for Elain right in in front of her.

“Nice room,” Cassian spoke honestly before turning to look at her. Nesta’s mouth twitched at his comment. “And cute pajamas. Love the boxer dogs by the way.”

If it was possible Nesta’s frown deepened. “We are not going to talk about my choice of sleep wear I hope.”

Cassian imagined that would be an intriguing conversation. Perhaps he could convince Feyre to buy Nesta some sleepwear from those girly boutiques that Mor and Feyre shopped at. His imagination brought forth an image of Nesta wearing satin sleepwear in his favorite color of red. He saved the thought for later and directed his attention to more pressing matters. _And not the matter pressing against his pants at the moment._

“Actually I wanted to talk to you about what happened on Thursday,” Cassian started. “Do you mind if we sit to talk?”

“I’d rather not talk about it,” Nesta’s clipped tone didn’t deter Cassian.

“We need to. Or at the very least I need to apologize.”

“Really? You're apologizing?” Nesta snorted in disbelief.

This was going to be a long conversation. With a tired groan Cassian sat down on the edge of her bed. He didn’t miss the way Nesta jerked at his sound when he placed himself on her soft covers.

“What I said on Thursday was out of line,” Cassian began. “I shouldn’t have said that to you and hurt your feelings.”

“You didn’t hurt my feelings. I’m not some little kid who cries at some negative comments.”

“Nesta you ran away from me after I said those words. I’m pretty sure that means I fucked up and made a fool of myself by being an ass to you.”

“Well it’s not like you didn’t say what you were thinking. Apparently my solution is to run away just like you said.” Nesta said solemnly.

Now Cassian wished he could take the words back. It was obvious she still felt distressed from their dispute. “I was angry when I said those words and I will regret saying them for the rest of my life. Please understand that I'm sorry for causing you pain.”

She was silent for a moment and turned her head to look out the window above the bed. “It’s like I mentioned when we first started training. You don’t know anything about me so you shouldn’t jump to conclusions.”

“But I do want to get to know you,” Cassian said and Nesta’s blue grey eyes searched his for any hint of lies. “So far I know you have a good right hook in the gym and that you take shit from no one. You’re also fiercely protective of Elain and you have a soft spot for animals. In particular two pit bulls that are adorable to say the least.”

“It _was_ you at the shelter yesterday,” Nesta whispered. “Are you serious about adopting Raja or Blaze then?”

Cassian nodded. “I’ve been wanting a dog for years now, but there hasn’t been one to fit my lifestyle. Both of your dogs are incredible, but I can see myself with one of them in particular.”

“Are you serious?” Nesta stepped forward unconsciously. “You…would really adopt one of them?”

“I would be a lucky guy to have one of them come live with me,” Cassian smiled and Nesta found she couldn’t contain her own excitement.

_Raja or Blaze was going to a home. A true home where they could live happily!_

“Cassian that’s - I can’t thank you enough if you actually adopt Raja or Blaze.”

“You don’t need to thank me Nesta. I can tell how much you care for them. Even the volunteers could see that.”

A thought came across Nesta’s mind. “Where exactly do you live by the way?”

Cassian raised a brow and an easy smirk slid across his face. “Well I definitely didn’t see that question coming. Plan on stopping by for a _friendly_ visit?”

Nesta rolled her eyes. Of course Cassian would flip back to his flirtatious self. “Actually I want to make sure that your place is safe and compatible enough to house a pet.”

“Oh.” Cassian scratched his head. He knew that Nesta wouldn’t be quick to forgive him and was simply looking out for Raja and Blaze, but he couldn't help getting a bit enthusiastic for a moment. “What makes a place dog suitable?”

“Have you _ever_ owned a dog Cassian?”

“Well now that you mention it, no I haven’t.”

Nesta rubbed the bridge of her nose and inhaled trying to calm herself. “So you’re telling me that you have no idea how to take care of pet?”

“I didn’t say that,” Cassian defended. “Obviously they need dog food, water and toys.”

 “But a dog will need much more than those three things. You also need to make sure the environment is safe.”

“Then give me a list and I’ll make sure everything is top notch and ready.”

“It’s going to be a long list,” Nesta warned. She planned to be extremely thorough with the adoption considering she was still working her way toward trusting Cassian in general. Let alone him taking care of another living creature.

“Then come to my place,” Cassian said with ease. “Might as well since I've had the lovely honor of seeing yours.” He patted the bed as emphasis.

“Absolutely not.” Nesta didn’t feel the need to entertain such outrageous ideas.

“Oh come on Nesta,” Cassian reasoned. “You can check out my apartment and make sure everything is safe for a dog. And to make up for what I said on Thursday I would like to make you dinner as well.”

Nesta quirked a brow. “I never imagined you could cook.”

“Let’s just say I am the chef connoisseur in my circle of friends,” Cassian said proudly.

“Speaking from a group in which Feyre and Rhysand can’t cook a full meal to save their lives.”

“Look who’s talking miss “Chinese takeout”. Don’t think I didn’t notice that and the fact Feyre has told me all about your cooking disasters.”

“I can cook,” Nesta said adamantly.

Cassian looked at her in disbelief not buying the words for a second.

“Okay fine. I can only cook simple things at best. Happy?” Nesta grudgingly admitted which felt painful to do.

“So can I expect you for dinner then?” Cassian watched as she mulled it over. It was clear she was cautious of his offer.

“Alright Cassian. I’ll take you up on it, but only to make sure your apartment is dog suitable. Got it?”

“How does going to my place after training sound?”

“That would probably be best since my work schedule is getting crazy with the busy season.”

“Then it’s a date,” Cassian rose up from the bed with pure triumph and joy written all over his face.

“It is _not_ a date,” Nesta countered. “Don’t be getting ideas that this is more than me evaluating your home.”

“I’ll take what I can get sweetheart,” Cassian still had that happy look as he followed Nesta out of her room. She ushered him through her apartment and by the kitchen table where Elain sat patiently waiting for her sister.

“A hint of advice by the way,” Nesta opened the front door leading to the main hallway. “I recommend not standing outside a building complex for ten minutes just looking up. People may get the wrong idea.”

She smirked at him and Cassian was at a loss of what to say. _She saw me standing outside?_

“You seemed surprised when I was here though,” Cassian said.

“Because you looked scared shitless out there and I didn’t think you would either have the balls or the brains to come up here and apologize.”

_This spitfire woman was surely going to be the death of him._

Cassian chuckled and shook his head. “You ought to know by now that my balls are plenty enough to handle you. In case you forget your last experience with them.”

Elain let out a surprised squeak at the table.

Nesta glowered at him. “I think you’re the one forgetting who was on his knees after that encounter.”

_Touché. He’d give her that._

“Until next week then,” Cassian ambled out the door barely brushing shoulders with Nesta. He wished the visit was longer, but he wasn’t about to press his luck after what he was able to get right now.

“And Cassian?” Nesta called from her doorway. He turned around at his name and looked at her questioningly.

“I forgive you about what happened during training,” Nesta finished with a slight smile on her face. “Just be prepared for me to kick your butt on Thursday.”

Cassian smiled more broadly than he ever had in front of her. The sight stunned Nesta speechless. “I look forward to it and eating dinner with you afterwards on our date.”

“It’s not a date!” Nesta fumed, but Cassian’s laughter filled the hall as he had already turned to continue on his way.

His mind was planning a meal that would amaze Nesta. He also needed to make sure the apartment was in top condition to pass her inspection for adoption. There was much to do in less than a week, but Cassian was greatly anticipating Thursday.

Nesta watched him go to the stairwell before shutting the door. She turned to the table to see Elain’s bewildered expression.

“Was that your boyfriend,” Elain asked.

“Him?” Nesta sputtered. “Absolutely not!” Nesta sat down at the table with her sister as she flushed red at her words. “He is a rude brutish man who doesn’t know when to quit.” Nesta huffed and pulled apart her chopsticks with a vigorous snap.

“Oh.” Elain merely said with a curious expression as she watched her older sister stab a piece of chicken with her chopsticks. As they ate their meal Elain snuck glances at Nesta. She could tell that Cassian had an effect on her sister. In all honesty Elain was excited to see Nesta at least talking more with other people. Or at least she seemed to be good enough friends with Cassian if he was willing to come to their apartment to drop of papers. Elain smiled and let out a small giggle at the thought of Nesta finding someone she could one day trust enough to give her heart to. She couldn’t wait for that day to happen and meet the person who could handle Nesta’s personality.

“What’s funny?” Nesta asked after eating a small portion of rice.

“Oh nothing,” Elain hid her smile as she reached for the pile of fortune cookies. “Let’s see what our fortunes say.”

Nesta reached for one as well and both sisters opened their cookies at the same time. Elain read her fortune aloud that stated she would have happy success in business endeavors. Nesta smiled broadly at the fortune.

“I think that was meant for you Nesta considering you’re the business major.” Elain laughed, but Nesta shrugged at her words.

“You never know Elain. Sometimes those fortunes have a way of working out in ways you never thought possible.”

Elain nodded at the statement while Nesta silently read her fortune and frowned at the words.

“What does it say?” Elain leaned forward. They had always made it a tradition to say their fortunes aloud when they got Chinese food. Whatever was on the paper must have rattled Nesta. Surely it couldn’t be _that_ bad could it?

“Your ability to trust fuels your ability to love.” Nesta sat the piece of paper down and ate the cookie that held it.

“That’s not a bad fortune,” Elain picked up the fortune and read it again. “It’s just like you said. Things have a way of working out in ways you never thought possible.”

Nesta eyed the fortune as Elain sat it back down on the table. They continued eating their meal while discussing the events of their week. Nesta made sure to leave out anything involving Cassian other than explaining he is the same Cassian that is training her at the gym. After they finished their meal Elain went to clean the table as Nesta went to her room to grab homework to finish. Elain placed the two remaining boxes in the fridge and went to move the fortune cookies in a whicker basket on the countertop. She noticed that Nesta’s fortune was missing from the table and decided that perhaps Nesta decided to keep it rather than throw it away.

When Nesta returned from her room with a textbook in hand Elain made sure to hide the small smile that graced her features. She wondered who may be that special someone to gain Nesta’s trust and her love in the end.


	10. Hand-to-Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta is confronted by Devlon and finally meets Azriel before Cassian arrives.

The same regulars occupied Illyrian Gym who came to workout. Nesta began to think that maybe she would be considered one of those expected visitors. But each time she strode through the doors she was met with curious stares or an occasional look of disbelief. The men here apparently thought she was going to give up one day and never step foot in the gym again.

She gave them all barbed smiles as she passed through the main room and down the hall to put her bag in a locker. Today she was able to finish work early and arrive well ahead of schedule.

Nesta placed her bag on one of the benches in the locker room and went to pull out her workout attire. Footsteps approached when she set her athletic shoes on the floor. _Cassian wastes no time hunting me down._

“Just because I’m early doesn’t mean you can hound me as soon as I walk in the door,” Nesta said without looking up.

“Hound? I suppose you could consider Cassian a mutt in many aspects,” Devlon said.

Nesta glanced up. Masking her surprise that he wasn’t whom she expected. Her annoyance though was not hidden. Devlon always had a sneer on his face anytime Nesta was in the room. She would be glad to wipe it off by having his face meet the floor.

“Better a dog than a spineless pig Devlon.” Nesta countered coldly.

“Maybe you should look at yourself. You’re just fresh meat Cassian can’t wait to sink into.” Devlon leaned over Nesta while she was sitting on the bench. “That is until the next piece of tail runs by.”

The words infuriated Nesta much stronger than she anticipated.

“Cassian is a better man than that,” she stood to face Devlon who leaned back as she rose to her feet. She wasn’t going to take another insult toward Cassian. Her relationship with him was nothing like what Devlon implied. And sure he spewed flirtatious comments now and again, but he wasn’t one to toss someone  aside for something new.

“Looks like you haven’t changed a bit Devlon,” a new voice said from the doorway. “Harassing people as always and a girl no less.”

Nesta leaned forward to see who the newcomer was. She was incredibly shocked to see someone who could easily pose as Cassian’s brother. Same hazel eyes and dark hair, but this man had it cut short. His frame also seemed a bit leaner and shorter than Cassian.

“Didn’t expect to see Rhysand’s shadow here today,” Devlon turned to the man. “Do you have something to say Azriel?”

This stranger, Azriel, gave Devlon a shrug. “Perhaps you should be more concerned about attending to other students rather than Cassian’s own. I can’t imagine how well that would go over once he discovered you were hoarding her attention.”

Devlon looked at Nesta and scoffed. “As if I would be interested.” He then walked out almost brushing shoulders with Azriel.

The jab at Nesta didn’t sting much. Just a slight bother that Nesta easily brushed off. Not in a million years would she even sit in a room with Devlon and hold a conversation let alone have a date. At the very least she might just strangle him instead.

“So you must be the one that has Cassian flustered,” Azriel walked into the room and opened a locker with a gym bag inside.

“What’s that supposed to mean,” Nesta took out the remaining clothes in her bag.

Azriel gave her a faint smile. A knowing look in his eyes that held secrets that Nesta was unsure if she wanted to discover. “I imagine you’ll see in time.”

“If by flustered you mean how he butts into other people’s business and doesn’t know how to control that ego of his then believe me I’ve seen plenty.”

“There are some parts of Cassian that you’ve yet to truly understand.”

“And I don’t mind if I keep it that way. Cassian and I are in a relationship that doesn’t need more than that.”

“What was that Nesta,” Cassian walked into the room with a grin. “I’m awfully curious to know just how deep we are in this _relationship_.” He waggled his brows and Nesta tried to contain the urge to smack him upside the head.

“The one where we mind our own business Cassian.” Nesta picked up her clothes and shoes fully intending on changing before Cassian decided to exaggerate things in front of Azriel.

“So that’s why you’re coming home with me after training?” Cassian raised a brow with his cocky grin to accompany it.

Azriel almost dropped the bag that he was pulling out of his locker while Nesta began to flush in embarrassment and displeasure.

“ _Only_ to make sure your apartment can house a dog. Nothing more.” Nesta shot Cassian a scathing look before walking into the female changing room. She would _dare_ Azriel to make something more of that. If he so much as gave her a look when she got back it was going to be the end of Cassian.

After getting dressed and putting her clothes in the locker Nesta went to the training room used during their boxing sessions. Azriel was nowhere in sight much to Nesta’s relief. Cassian stood waiting for her near the mats on the floors.

They went through the regular warm-ups before finally getting to what Nesta had been waiting for ever since they started training months ago.

“Let’s get some gloves on and start some routines.” Cassian ambled to his bag. He began sifting through it while Nesta wrapped her hands and put on leather boxing gloves. When she turned around she noticed Cassian didn’t have gloves on. Instead he wore something that resembled a flat and stiff oven mitt.

“Today you are working with focus mitts,” Cassian clapped the mitts on his hands together.

“I thought we were going to actually spar,” Nesta didn't hide her disappointment. She was expecting to go in a ring today against Cassian. Apparently he had surprised her yet again.

“Mitt training is the most realistic fight simulation next to sparring,” Cassian explained. “It helps improve your fighting reflexes, rhythm as well as punching and defense techniques.”

“So you’re not just making me punch an oven mitt, because you’re afraid I’ll ruin that face of yours?”

“Worried that you’ll damage my good looks?” Cassian smiled cheekily. “Even if you did manage a punch there is always my charming attitude to make up for some bruises.”

“I think you’re in need of a bruised ego,” Nesta approached with a slight smirk.

“Only if you promise a kiss to make it all better,” Cassian winked. In a flurry Nesta struck, but Cassian raised his arm and easily absorbed the punch to the mitt. “I love your enthusiasm, but don’t forget to keep your form in mind.”

Nesta paused for a moment before being firmer in her offensive attack. A recollection of combinations that Cassian taught her these past couple of months kicked in. First she mixed right hand punches with jabs before switching onto a more complicated combo consisting of uppercuts.

Throughout her movements Cassian would adjust his hands to take the blow. He made sure to critique her by either offering advice on improvement or approval of the way she moved.

Occasionally he would throw in a feint or a punch to throw her off, but she would use a defense technique to block his motion.

“Azriel mentioned that Devlon was talking to you earlier,” Cassian jabbed at her left, which she neatly avoided.

“It was nothing,” Nesta said. “Just trying to annoy me as usual.”

“Care to share what he said or should I beat it out of him later this week in the ring,” Cassian said.

Nesta shrugged slightly, but remained focused on the mitts. “Mainly he was insulting you.”

Cassian huffed a laugh. “Well that’s nothing new. I wouldn’t expect anything less from him and the other pricks.” The smack of leather against leather filled the silence along with their steady breathing. “Azriel also mentioned that you defended me.”

Nesta faltered a moment in her uppercut causing Cassian to use it in his advantage. He tapped this mitt against her outer elbow as a sign to keep vigil.

“I couldn’t have him insulting my trainer,” Nesta supplied.

“Yet you give me insults during all our encounters,” Cassian sped up their pace.

_Punch-Punch-Punch-Block._

“I’d like to believe there is a difference between their insults and mine. The intent isn’t the same.”

“Really? Someone calling me a bastard is different than being called a mutt or any other term?” Cassian inquired. His tone had taken an edge that Nesta barely caught. She must have touched some nerve by calling him bastard in the past. Nesta stopped punching to look Cassian in the eye. He gave her a quizzical stare as she searched the depths of his hazel eyes. The same eyes that always seemed to see through her.

“Cassian…I know – or rather I _don’t_ know that much about you,” Nesta tried to put her thoughts into some semblance of an explanation. “But from what I’ve seen you're not what those idiots out there say you are. You’re not worthless and you sure as hell are not scum beneath their feet. If anything you are far above them in the way you treat others with respect.”

Silence. Nesta flushed faintly at Cassian’s dumbstruck face. He looked frozen as he processed her words. 

“You believe that?”

“Of course,” Nesta readied herself in position to punch again. She averted her eyes to target his hands. “Why would I say it if I didn’t think so. You should at least know that much about me by now.” She punched his padded hands, which shook him back to his senses. Hazel eyes illuminated at her words, but Nesta failed to catch how his attention was riveted on her.

“You're right about that,” Cassian said. “And I also know you’re unbalanced on your left side.”

“What-”

Cassian swooped so fast he became a blur. The next thing Nesta knew was she staring at ceiling lights glaring above her and Cassian stood with his head quirked to the side. He had somehow hit the left side of her exposed waist with enough force to knock her completely off balance. And now she was on the floor in disbelief. 

Here she was thinking they might have reached some sort of…connection? Something that stemmed from deep inside them and made her feel like she could trust Cassian. It was a relationship that was stronger than trainer and trainee. The idea of trusting someone to a high extent rolled in her mind at a dizzying speed.

She propped herself up on her elbows to gain her balance on the pliable mat flooring when she heard a faint snicker. Cassian turned to look at the door and Nesta followed his gaze where Devlon stood in the doorway.

Devlon scowled at the scene. Pointedly eying Nesta sitting on the gym mat. He jerked his head once at her. “Fresh meat girl. Don’t forget my words.”

Cassian took a threatening step toward Devlon. Hazel eyes burning with a contained rage. “Let’s see you say that again with my fist busting your jaw.”

Devlon looked at Cassian sensing the true threat to his words. “Looks like you’re busy enough here,” Devlon motioned to Nesta. “I’ll leave you both to continue your _training_.” Devlon walked past the door. Cassian grumbled something under his breath in that sounded like a different language.

Nesta went to pick herself off the floor. The moment – or whatever it was that had occurred between her and Cassian – was over.

“Here let me help you,” Cassian offered his hand, which Nesta ignored.

 _Fresh meat._ Devlon would regret those words. Cassian was going to have to make it a point to challenge Devlon in the ring again and this time give him more than just a defeated bruised ego.

“I don’t need your help,” Nesta said harshly and pushed herself off the floor. Cassian’s brows shifted lower at her tone. A minute ago she was the kindest she had ever been to him in months. Her heartfelt words resonated deeply with Cassian. He always had self-esteem issues, but made sure to mask it well enough that others wouldn’t notice. But Nesta somehow seemed to pick up on it. And now she was back to her frigid demeanor.

“Don’t pay attention to Devlon. He finds amusement by putting others down.”

“Obviously,” Nesta clipped out. “Apparently all men find some joy in pushing me to the ground in some way.” She glared at him. Having not forgiven him in the slightest for using her lack of balance to knock her on the gym mat.

“I was just showing how your imbalance could be used against you,” Cassian took off his mitts. “I didn't do it just for fun.”

Nesta didn’t reply and moved to the punching bag. She needed to release steam. Now.

A large hand gripped her wrist. Cassian held on tight enough so she wouldn’t walk away from him. “Nesta I never meant to hurt or insult you.”

“Then let me go so I can train.”

“We’re done for the day,” Cassian walked to his gym bag and began packing up the equipment.

“What do you mean we’re done? We just started a little over a half hour ago.” Nesta fumed.

“But I still have to treat you to dinner and since all my food is cooked fresh I intend to prepare it that way.”

“I’m only going to check your place to make sure it can house a dog. Not eat dinner,” Nesta marched after Cassian who went to the locker room.

“We’ll do that too so don’t worry,” Cassian opened his locker. “But who says I can’t offer my gratitude with a homemade meal?”

Nesta made an exasperated sound finally opening her own locker. She pulled out her bag of clothes to change into. Nesta turned to complain at training being cut short when she heard a rustle of clothing and suddenly Cassian’s shirt was off.

Nesta would admit he had a handsome face. His body was similar in that aspect and she found it impossible to turn away from the sight. Cassian’s bronze back was fully visible while muscles moved with each movement. Biceps and other muscles flexed as he reached down to put the shirt in a separate smaller bag.

Stark tattoos in a mixture of curved and jagged lines went across his shoulders blades. The latticework of ink appeared to have a slight tribal design. For a maddening moment Nesta wanted to run her fingers across them and follow the black ink across his skin. She sucked in a breath at the thought and mentally scolded herself. She should _not_ be thinking about touching Cassian like that.

“There’s a changing room you know,” Nesta said in what she hoped was an even tone.

Cassian looked over his shoulder. “Why hide this handsomeness from the world?” He gave her his cocky smile with eyes burning intently on her. At her lack of reaction Cassian decided to test the waters further. He reached for the band of his shorts. “Care to see my other admirable features? If not I suggest going to the ladies changing room sweetheart.”

Nesta went wide-eyed. “You wouldn’t dare-”

Cassian nudged his shorts down a couple inches with a raised brow. Daring her to stay.

Nesta bolted to the changing room followed faintly by the sound of Cassian chuckling. When she returned he was fully dressed.

“Did you seriously change in the locker room?”

“If you stuck around then you would know the answer to that question.” Cassian put his gym bag on. “But maybe next time-”

“Only when hell freezes over would I ever see you naked,” Nesta walked by him. “Now are we going to leave or would you rather me find a mirror so you can look at yourself all evening?”

Cassian grinned. The faintest of blushes crept down Nesta’s cheeks and neck. He would let her think he didn’t notice her checking him out earlier. Maybe one day she would be brave enough to push the boundaries between them. Until then he knew where the line was drawn, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t play around it.

Perhaps this evening would be the game-changer he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in the Nessian ship on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	11. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian brings Nesta to his apartment for dinner, but she is intent on making sure to examine the safety of his home so it meets pet standards. As she walks through his apartment she begins to see a little bit more into Cassian’s personality and past. How will she begin to see Cassian differently after their “not a date” dinner?

Nesta walked beside Cassian on the northern Prythian sidewalks. He claimed his apartment wasn’t too far from the gym. Within ten minutes of walking they arrived at a tall brick building. The building reminded her of a fortress that was meant to keep people safe and see the skyline for miles. It gave off feeling of safety or security.

“Let’s take the elevator up since I’m on the eighth floor,” Cassian opened the door to the main entrance and guided her to one set of elevators. When the elevator dinged on the Cassian's floor he stepped out to lead them down a hall. He unlocked his door and held the door open for Nesta.

“Make yourself at home,” Cassian removed his shoes near the door and placed them on a shoe shelf. “It will take me about 30 minutes to prepare our dinner.”

“Do you mind if I just look over the apartment to make sure it meets pet standards?” Nesta removed her shoes and placed them beside Cassian’s.

“Sure just don’t mind the mess upstairs.” Cassian smiled before entering the kitchen.

Nesta took a long look at her surroundings. The kitchen was large with black marble stone and stainless steel appliances. A wooden table was placed in front of the kitchen counter that Cassian was currently arranging ingredients. He moved efficiently through his kitchen pulling out pans and bowls to use. Nesta pulled her attention from him and continued on throughout the apartment.

A brick wall lined with shelves were sparsely filled with a few decorative items, but mostly pictures. Nesta couldn’t resist taking a closer look.

The photos consisted of people she could only assume to be his friends. Rhysand, Azriel, Mor, Amren and Feyre filled the frames. There were a few others with people that looked around Cassian’s age, but none looked familiar. She saw one photo with Cassian, Rhysand and Azriel with a woman Nesta recalled was Rhysand’s mother. The boys were young in the photo. Cassian’s grin was the widest with cheeks that were still rounded with childhood. The boys were around thirteen years old and it was the youngest photo of Cassian that she could find. In fact she didn’t see any other photos to hint at family members.

_That’s curious. I wonder why he doesn’t have photos of when he was younger or of his parents?_

Nesta stepped closer to the shelf when a photo caught her eye. It was a more recent photo of Cassian in hiking gear. He was smiling broadly at the camera in mid-laughter. His hazel eyes were closed and dark hair moved into his face as if wind had brushed it across. In the background she could make out faint figures that she thought were Mor and Azriel perhaps. But Nesta focused intently on the image of happiness that Cassian portrayed.

The sound of a pan being settled on the stove distracted her from admiring the photo any longer. Mentally she berated herself for not sticking to the task at hand. She circled the living room finding nothing that would prevent Cassian from adopting a dog and walked upstairs to the second floor of his loft apartment. It was similar to the main floor by being bright and open. A simple grey comforter covered the bed and with large windows behind it. She could imagine the morning rays basking illuminating the room in a warm welcoming light. A tall bookshelf lined one wall while the other had a desk and laptop. The layout was simple and the apartment had an industrial theme which suited Cassian.

Nesta approached the workspace area and looked for loose cords that may cause a dog to trip or get caught in a tangle. It was orderly around the desk save for a few stray papers scattered haphazardly on the desk. Nest didn’t read the documents and walked back to the wall with the bookshelf. The bed's cover was slightly pulled back. The rumpled sheets underneath were visible.

_This is where he sleeps. Does he toss and turn at night? Does he sleep curled toward the wall or to the spot where the empty space is on the bed?_

Nesta cringed at where her mind took her and vehemently shook them away wondering what compelled her to think of those details. She glanced at the books on the shelf and read the titles. Most of them were autobiographies and history books. Some titles resembled crime thrillers and a few titles Nesta was familiar with such as _The Art of War_ , _The Call of the Wild_ and _Hamlet_.  She was impressed that Cassian had such a collection of books and wondered which ones he enjoyed reading the most. Out of the corner of her eye a flash of red caught her sight.

Curiosity pushed Nesta forward to the ruby color that was barely visible underneath the unmade side of the bed. For a heart-dropping moment Nesta thought it might be a woman’s garment and unexpectedly seethed at the idea of woman being here and sharing his bed.

A moment of sanity made Nesta realize she had no right to be angry. Cassian was nothing an acquaintance-her trainer. Nothing more.

_But why does it make me sick thinking that another woman has been in this bed with him?_

With trepidation she moved closer and used her sock covered foot to scoot the garment closer into the light. Her movement revealed that the fabric was underwear. She jerked her foot away and stared at red boxers on the floor.

Why would Cassian leave his underwear there? An answer came rushing into the forefront of Nesta’s mind. _What if he sleeps nude and just takes them off before bed?_

“Nesta?” Cassian called from downstairs.

Nesta jumped and flushed with embarrassment as she averted her attention away from the boxers. “Yes?” She replied with what was hopefully a nonchalant tone.

“Is everything okay up there?”

“Yes,” Nesta repeated and internally groaned. _Not like I was just ogling at your boxers a second ago._

A pause. “Do you mind helping with a couple things in the kitchen?”

“Sure I’ll be down in a second,” Nesta took a breath to compose herself. _For goodness sakes it’s just underwear! Granted Cassian’s, but that shouldn’t make a difference._ She walked down the stairs and toward the kitchen where he was already waiting for her at the counter.

“Did you find anything interesting?” Cassian asked while placing a bowl on the counter.

Nesta’s mind flashed back to the boxers. She coughed in an attempt to buy more time for a response. Cassian shot her questioning look and Nesta decided to give him a simple answer instead of drawing out a potentially awkward moment.

“Your apartment is nice,” Nesta said and cringed as her wayward mind thought back to the boxers upstairs. “Your…books threw me for a loop.”

Cassian chuckled and was merciful enough not to tease her on her obvious nervousness. But he was interested in discovering what had set Nesta off-kilter.

“Which books surprised you?”

“All of them,” Nesta shrugged. “Didn’t see you as the reader type of guy.”

“And what type do you think I am?”

“A macho skirt-chasing ape.” Nesta said with all seriousness.

“There is more to me than my strong muscles and charming personality my dear,” Cassian stood up straighter with a smile still on his face and walked to the stove where a pot was boiling. At some point during Nesta’s evaluation of his apartment he pulled his hair into a tight bun that better revealed his sharp cheekbones and tattoos near his collarbone.

“So you like to read then?” Nesta questioned. She herself was fond of reading and had read a few of the same titles in Cassian’s possession.

“Only certain genres and subjects.” Cassian stirred the pot. “Mostly I like history and crime novels.” He then set the stirring spoon down and walked back to the counter. “And now I think I should show you how to make quinoa.”

“Excuse me?” Nesta watched as Cassian set out some ingredients.

“Come on sweetheart. Let me show you how chef Cassian makes the best quinoa you’ll ever taste.”

“I’m not really sure-”

“Since when have you ever backed down from a challenge?” Cassian raised a brow. Daring her to argue or come up with an excuse.

A pause then a disgruntled sigh. “Fine, but don’t blame me if I somehow mess it up,” Nesta went to the sink and washed her hands before returning back to the counter where Cassian had an assortment of food items laid out for her. He then took the pot on the stove and drained the contents before scooping the fluffy quinoa into a bowl.

“I’ve already boiled the quinoa so now you get the honors of adding the final ingredients.” Cassian placed the bowl beside her. He then slid a piece of paper across the table that was a handwritten recipe for warm and nutty cinnamon quinoa. “Just follow those instructions and you’ll be good to go.”

Nesta nodded and picked up the piece of paper while Cassian turned to the oven and opened it. The faint smell of chicken filled the kitchen.

She read Cassian’s slanted handwriting and reached for the first ingredient on the list. It didn’t take long to measure and add the rest of the items. Cassian was almost finished with the chicken by the time Nesta moved the finished bowl of quinoa onto the wooden dining table. Drinking glasses with iced water and silverware were already set. Cassian was quick to prepare the last touches of their meal. He placed the two pieces of chicken and a small serving of vegetables on two plates and carried them into the dining area where Nesta stood waiting.

“My lady your dinner is served,” Cassian grandly presented the plates in a flourish and placed them across each other. It smelled wonderful and Nesta only hoped that her stomach wouldn’t betray her by growling in hunger. Cassian sat in the opposite chair and scooped out a spoonful of quinoa into a small bowl.

At the first bite of chicken Nesta couldn’t hold back the small moan at how delicious it was. Cassian’s fork stopped halfway to his mouth at the sound.

“Sorry,” Nesta tried to recover as she realized she had made the noise aloud. The chicken tasted good - better than good. She almost wished the food tasted horrible so she could use that against him. Almost.

“Don’t apologize,” Cassian set his fork down. “I’m glad you like it so much. It means a lot to know people enjoy my cooking.”

Nesta pushed a piece of broccoli around on her plate. She searched for a topic to discuss. “Your place is decorated well.” She turned her head to glance around the apartment.

“Thanks,” Cassian took a bite of his food and drank a glass of water. “Do you have any questions about the place? I know upstairs I will probably need railing around the loft for the dog, but was there anything else you wanted to ask me?”

Nesta nodded in agreement to a railing being added, but she had another question that stemmed from the photos in the living room. She wondered why he only had pictures of friends instead of family, but she was wary of prying into that discussion.

“I noticed you seem to like hiking from the photos in the living room,” Nesta began.

“I go every summer with Rhys and the others,” Cassian smiled. “Summer is the best time to travel the mountains, but during the winter we usually stay for a few days in the cabin.”

“What do you all do up there?” Nesta wasn’t inclined to rough it out in the wild. She preferred staying in a building overnight rather than a tent. She didn’t imagine it could be too fun out in the wild where nature could easily kill you if you weren’t prepared for anything and everything.

“We drive up to the cabin Rhys owns and hike for a couple days on the trails before returning back to the cabin.”

“Sounds…interesting.” Nesta lamely ended.

Cassian laughed. “Have you ever hiked before?”

“No and I don’t think I should start anytime soon,” Nesta took another bit of chicken.

“You never know. You may find you actually like exploring the wilderness.”

“Right. Just like I don’t know the results if I go jumping off a cliff.” Nesta didn’t need to make an excursion into Mother Nature to know that she would be struggling out there.

“Well we do climb cliffs during our hikes so you wouldn’t be too far off.”

“I’ll still pass on that.”

Cassian shrugged before digging into the quinoa. He moaned loudly as he took a bite. “This is delicious Nesta. You really know how to mix this together.”

“Oh please you did all the hard work.”

“I just boiled the water sweetheart. The rest was all you,” Cassian grinned and Nesta was barely able to stop from rolling her eyes. She was a dismal cook at best. All she did was add the extra ingredients, which was the easy step.

 “Do you not go hiking with your family also?” Nesta attempted to broach the topic she was most curious about.

“My family?” Cassian gave her a puzzled look before realization struck. “I’m surprised Feyre didn’t mention it before.”

“Mention what?”

“I was an orphan growing up. Moved from foster home to foster home until I was eight. That’s when I ran away, because I was fed up with adults treating us kids like dirt and the older kids who thought it was fun to bully the younger ones. I fought everyday to protect myself until finally I just left. It was late in the evening at a park when met Rhysand the same day I walked out of that foster home. We got into a squabble and that’s how his mom found us.” Cassian shook his head with a small smile. “She was _livid_ , but I’ll never forget when she brought me back to their place for the night and made sure to find me a good permanent home with an older couple she knew.”

“And you’ve been friends with Rhysand ever since?”

“No – Gods no,” Cassian said. “We still bickered as little kids when we would meet for visits and at school. Barely behaved until Azriel showed up a year later in the same elementary class. The three of us became close after that and have stuck together through the years.”

“Do you mind me asking what happened to your family?” Nesta watched as Cassian’s expression became somber. “If you don’t want to tell me-”

Cassian raised a hand to ease her worry. “There isn’t much to tell. I don’t know who my father is since he left before I was born and my mother couldn’t care for me. She ended up dying not long after I turned ten. The last time I saw her was when I was five and she...was homeless by that point and had been abused by men in the area.

Nesta was quiet as she absorbed the information. Now she understood his reaction to being called a bastard and perhaps the reason why some of the Illyrian gym members treated him harshly.

“I’m sorry Cassian,” Nesta could sympathize with him on a certain level. Her mom had died when she was eleven and her father was a delusional man who couldn’t see what his daughters needed. Affection. Safety. Guidance. Those were things she didn’t truly have like the neighborhood kids. But she couldn’t begin to fathom how lost five-year old Cassian would be when he would have practically lost both his parents while struggling to survive.

“It’s in the past,” Cassian shrugged. “Besides everything that happened back then has shaped me into the person I am today. I’m proud of who I am regardless of my beginnings.”

“You should be,” Nesta said. “Proud of who you are I mean.”

Cassian looked at her in shock. “That's probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Don’t get used to it,” Nesta took a drink of her water before distracting herself with the food placed in front of her. She could feel his eyes on her during the meal. Nesta glanced up to see him staring pensively at her.

 “What?” Her tone had a bite to it and Cassian exhaled tiredly.

“I was wondering if you would be willing to share something about yourself too. Your hobbies or childhood perhaps?”

“I’m sure Feyre has already told you about our family,” Nesta looked at her plate with an incinerating glare. There was no doubt in her mind that Feyre told her new friends about how terrible her older sisters were when they were growing up. How Feyre had to be the one to put food on the table while Nesta was too stubborn to lift a finger to help.

“Feyre mentioned a few things, but I would like to hear your side.”

“Trust me Cassian. I’m sure the stories would be similar enough.”

Cassian hummed in contemplation. “So no fun stories to share from your school days or at home?”

Nesta shrugged. “None that stick out in my mind.”

“What about hobbies?” Cassian implored.

“Reading is my only hobby. Unless you count volunteering at the shelter.”

“As much as those are good hobbies sweetheart you need to get out more,” Cassian shook his head. “We need to loosen you up a bit.”

“I don’t need to _loosen up_ ,” Nesta growled out and finished the last bit of food on her plate. She hadn’t realized she consumed her dinner so fast.

Cassian blatantly looked at her empty plate and then at her. He raised an eyebrow and pushed the last bit of vegetables to her. Nesta took a few pieces out, but she refused to give into any more temptation. They finished the rest of their meal before Cassian took the dishes to the sink to wash later. He also made sure to pack leftovers for Nesta despite her vehement refusal until he threatened to make the next training session excruciating if she didn’t take the food. Nesta walked to Cassian’s door to put on her shoes and grab her gym bag. It had been two hours since she left the gym and darkness would soon settle over the city.

“Where are you going?” Cassian walked into the hallway where Nesta was slipping her last shoe on.

She looked up at him and shot him a look that asked if he was serious. “I’m going home. It was nice of you to let me check your place out and it doesn’t appear as though there will be any issues for you to adopt Raja or Blaze.”

“That's great, but you're not walking the streets of Prythian this late alone,” Cassian looked towards the windows as the sun began to set. “It’ll be dark by the time you even get to the subway.”

“I’ve been out later than this before and it’s not like I go down dark alleys or talk to strangers on the way home.”

“You could have been walking these streets all your life Nesta, but that still doesn’t make it any safer.”

“I’m a big girl Cassian,” Nesta stood up to face him and hadn’t realized how close he was. “I can handle myself.”

“But I couldn’t handle it if something happened to you while I did nothing to prevent it.”

The words hung there between them.

“Cassian-”

“Let me drive you home. Please.”

Nesta sighed. It would take almost an hour on foot travelling from the north side of Prythian to the south side. With a vehicle it would only take about twenty minutes.

“Fine. But only because it would save time and I need to get back home to study for my test next week.”

Cassian looked relieved and went to put his shoes on. “So long as I make sure you get home safe, that’s all that matters.”

He grabbed his keys that were hanging up in the kitchen and led Nesta to where his black SUV was parked. The drive was quiet save for Cassian making a few comments and asking questions which Nesta provided short responses.

When her apartment building was visible Cassian parked across the street. He turned off the vehicle just as Nesta stepped out of his car.

“What are you doing?” Nesta watched him put his car key in his pocket.

“I’m walking you to your apartment.”

“We're right across the street Cassian,” Nesta emphasized by waving her hand to the building. “You don’t need to treat me like a kid and hold my hand.”

“Now wouldn’t that be an idea,” Cassian grinned and exited the SUV. He walked around the front of the vehicle and waited for her. “If you want to hold hands sweetheart…” Cassian gave her a confident smirk with a slight glimmer of hope lining his hazel eyes.

“You’re insufferable,” Nesta brushed past him and crossed the street with him trailing close beside her. When they arrived to the top of the stairs Nesta stopped and turned to Cassian.

“Thank you for the ride and dinner, though you truly shouldn’t have gone through the trouble.”

“It was my pleasure Nesta,” Cassian said. “And did everything meet your approval?”

“The food or your apartment?”

“Both,” Cassian shifted his weight and the movement brought him closer to Nesta.

“They were satisfactory,” Nesta replied simply even though the food tasted far more appetizing than a satisfactory rating and his apartment passed pet standards. “Have you decided which dog you are going to adopt?”

“I plan on giving Blaze a new home. We seem to have similar personalities and I imagine he would do great with the outdoor activities I usually do.”

Nesta nodded having figured he would be better suited for the younger of the two pit bulls, but it still saddened Nesta to know that she was not going to be able to see her rambunctious little fellow when she visited the shelter. At least she knew he would be going to a good permanent home.

“Then let me give you this,” Nesta reached into her bag and pulled out a red dog collar she had recently purchased for the occasion. “Consider this an adoption present and also my thanks for giving Blaze a home he deserves.”

Nesta held out her hand with the dog collar and Cassian reached out to take it. His fingers brushed against hers and for the faintest of moments Nesta could have sworn he barely tightened his grip as he pulled away from her.

“Thank you Nesta,” Cassian examined the collar. His thumb trailed the stitching.

“Cassian you’re the one whose adopting him,” Nesta said. “You don’t need to thank me for any reason.”

“But I do,” Cassian looked up at her. His eyes were intense as he took another step closer. “Not just for this collar, but the meaning that's tied with it.”

“What are you talking about?” Nesta stiffened as Cassian leaned down and she thought for a moment he was going to kiss her cheek, but instead his breath barely brushed against her ear.

“You're finally beginning to trust me and for that reason I give my thanks.” Cassian whispered then leaned back out of her space. His expression was relaxed and it slowly slipped into his well-known cocky smirk. “Maybe one day you’ll trust me even more to where I can give you something special in return.”

“I doubt it,” Nesta turned away and opened the apartment door building. “But good luck with that.” It was true that she was beginning to trust him, but she had no intentions of making it…into something more. Though a slight feeling in her chest stirred with want at the idea Cassian’s offer. She stopped in the doorway and dared to look back.

“Goodnight Nesta,” Cassian waved when she glanced over her shoulder.

Nesta gave the faintest of nods. “You as well Cassian.” She shut the door and walked upstairs to her apartment as Cassian made the return journey back to his apartment.

When he settled in for the night he sat on his bed with only black boxers on. He had forgotten to toss his red ones from yesterday into the clothes hamper. Hopefully Nesta didn’t notice them today and think he was a slob. He usually kept his apartment clean, but this morning he was in a rush to get the day started and had completely forget about the boxers when he stripped down this morning.

With a sigh he relaxed into bed and held the red collar into the moonlight that filtered through the windows. Today was a big step toward gaining Nesta’s trust. Cassian would strive to prove to her that he was a man she could fully rely on and confide with. It hadn’t missed his attention how closed off she still was about her personal life. He wanted to learn more about her rather than asking Feyre for information. But the only time he shared with Nesta was during their training sessions.

_What can I do to give us the opportunity to meet each other more often?_

Cassian wracked his brain until an idea came to mind that was sure to make Nesta happy and more than willing to visit. He would invite her to play with Blaze and perhaps they could make trips to dog parks or something that would benefit each of them. Blaze and Nesta were sure to be thrilled to see each other and Cassian was more than enthused to spend extra time with Nesta as well.

But there was also another matter to be taken care of in the future. He still had not forgotten the words Devlon said during the last training session.

 _Fresh meat. As if Nesta could be compared to such a thing. At fist Cassian had seen her as challenge that evening in the bar, but now he wanted…What did he want exactly?_ But somewhere deep inside Cassian knew the answer was right in front of him. _More. Anything Nesta was willing to give he would be glad to take and give in return. Words. Touches. And gods help him he still desired more._

With a heavy groan Cassian settled into bed. He placed the collar on the bedside table and turned his lamp off before laying his head on a pillow. Darkness drifted in and the last image in his mind was that red collar and Nesta’s faintly smiling face as she gave it to him. In his sleep Cassian tightened the hand that touched her. Unconsciously he sought for the memory of their skin brushing against each other. And perhaps one day their lips would too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in the Nessian ship on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	12. Boxing Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta finally steps into the boxing ring and gets to know some of the other Illyrian gym members. But when Nesta is challenged to a spar she can’t refuse, how will she fare against her opponent?

Nesta had been called into work early for the past few days and today was no different. She wanted to be angry as she waited on tables three hours earlier than her scheduled time, but at least she was getting extra money along with a few more tips with each customer she served. There would be no complaints coming from her so long as the customers weren’t rude. Although yesterday she had her first run-in of the season with a business group that was so stuck up you would think stacks of cash were shoved up their butts. It would only get worse as the season went on.

She was cleaning a table when the smell of chicken from the kitchen made her pause. The memory of sharing dinner with Cassian last week came to her mind. Their time together was surprisingly pleasant and left Nesta wondering what sort of magic he used to make her feel all these emotions that were tugging at her chest. A tingle ran up her arm from the place where their hands had touched last week when she handed him Blaze's collar.

Her memory flickered back to the minimal flirting he gave her that evening, but what struck her the most was how he was willing to share parts of his past that Nesta never imagined he would trust her with. She wasn’t willing to give anyone that same amount of trust of some of her darkest moments. Even her sisters didn’t know what happened that day when Thomas-

_No! No need to dig up those memories. That’s all in the past._

Nesta scrubbed the table with vigor as she intently blocked out the images of Thomas and what he did. Of what he tried to do to her that day in their small town. But washing tables wasn’t helping clear away the pain so she decided that perhaps going to the gym early would help take her mind off those painful memories.

Mrs. Laurent, the restaurant manager, stepped into view. She was a fairly strict woman who always made sure each customer was well taken care of. Even if it meant the workers had to take the brunt of the blame if something went wrong, though they weren’t at fault. Nesta had been at the end of a few of those occurrences when customers would try to “help” by talking or touching the staff in ways that were most assuredly inappropriate. Nesta usually bit back with poison laced words that were subtle enough not to garner harsh punishment from Mrs. Laurent, but clear enough to vulgar customers that she was not to be messed with.

“Mrs. Laurent may I have a word with you?” Nesta approached her manager with her usual expression of seriousness.

“Miss Archeron what is it you need?” Mrs. Laurent was always straight to the point. At least Nesta had to give her points for that. This manager was no nonsense and was swift to cast action and judgment.

“If it’s possible may I clock out an hour early today?”

“Why? You never ask to leave work early? In fact usually you're always _asking_ for more hours.” Mrs. Laurent narrowed her eyes behind her black-rimmed glasses. Her tone was admonishing and Nesta had to placate her features in front of her boss. People were easily fired if Mrs. Laurent thought even the faintest whiff of trouble may come from a worker. “Honestly I thought you would be happy to have the extra hours I've given you this week.”

“I do appreciate the hours, but I was hoping I could start early on my plans this evening considering classes are winding up for finals and it would be great to get a jump on a few of my projects.” All which was true. Finals week would be approaching in a little over a month, but Nesta was determined to receive A’s in all her classes to maintain her high GPA. Keeping her grades up helped provide scholarships each year, which was helpful in lightening the burden of her student debt. Of course Nesta was always ready to pick up a couple extra hours at work as well to help ease the costs of living at her apartment.

“So you wish to leave early after I gave you more hours as you request so frequently,” Mrs. Laurent chided. “Miss Archeron if you can’t keep up with your studies and work here perhaps you should find employment elsewhere.”

“No Mrs. Laurent that won’t be necessary,” Nesta said hoping to douse her manager’s ire. “Thank you though for your time.”

Mrs. Laurent looked Nesta up and down. “Do not approach me with such a request again. With the busy season upon us I will need all my employees to be exactly where they are needed and conducting themselves appropriately. One mishap will send any of you out my restaurant’s door indefinitely.” Mrs. Laurent looked at the other waiters and waitresses lingering near-by enough to hear her words. “Even senior staff applies to this. That goes for you too Miss Archeron.”

Mrs. Laurent walked away with her warning lingering in the air. Nesta knew how true the threat was. Last year she had dismissed three of the serving staff. It had been a record last year since usually only about two would be fired around this time. And Nesta couldn’t afford to be one of the unlucky ones that were dismissed from their job.

For the rest of her shift Nesta made sure to work especially harder as her last three hours were finished. She made sure to avoid Mrs. Laurent on her way to clock out. By the time she arrived at Illyrian Gym it was fairly close to the start of her training time. Nesta walked pass a few men who were watching two boxers spar in the ring. After she got dressed she waited for Cassian to show up in the room they used all the time. She went through her usual warm-up, but Cassian still didn’t walk through the doors He was never late, yet after fifteen minutes Nesta started to wonder if something had happened to him.

Worry began to slowly sink in. She didn’t have his phone number to text him and after another five minutes went by Nesta grabbed her cell phone in the locker room to text Feyre and see if she knew what was going on. As she was mid-typing someone walked into the locker room.

“Hey you’re the girl Cassian always trains with right?” A man with light brown hair and matching eyes asked. Nesta faintly recalled seeing him from time to time these past months. He was a frequent visitor of the gym and worked out with a small group of other men.

Nesta was apprehensive considering she never met any of the other gym members except Devlon and if everyone else was like him then she wanted nothing to do with this stranger. “What do you want?”

“We just got a call from Cassian saying he was running late. He wanted one of us to tell you.”

“But I was meant to practice hand-to-hand boxing today,” Nesta tried to hide the disappointment.

“If you want a couple of the guys and I can show you the ropes. Literally as well if you want to get in the ring.”

Nesta arched a brow. “What’s that supposed to mean? You would train me?”

The man shrugged one shoulder. “We are doing some lightweight practices in the main room. I can show you how to use your footwork and we can do some sparring also.” Nesta could hear the honesty in the offer. And quite frankly she was eager to finally get into actual hand combat after months of Cassian’s refusal. He claimed she was far from ready, yet she had proven each week how her progress was going at a pace even Cassian admitted was faster than a normal beginner.

“That sounds like a great plan,” Nesta nodded and followed the man who introduced himself as Hugo into the main room where only three other men stood.

“Hey guys I would like to introduce you to the latest gym member,” Hugo nodded to Nesta who introduced herself while the other three, Marcus, Victor and Vincent, gave her the same courtesy.

“Let’s show her a few tricks in the ropes.” Hugo tapped his hand on the raised boxing ring floor. “Cassian hasn’t let the poor girl even in the ring yet to practice.”

“No kidding?” Victor asked. “Usually he has his students at least working on their footwork in the ring by now so they get used to how it feels.”

This extra information left Nesta agitated that Cassian’s other trainees had been in the ring while she was just beginning to learn hand-to-hand with him.

“Well hop on up missy and we’ll give you a few tips,” Marcus nodded his head at Hugo who was already slipping between the ropes and putting on his gloves.

Marcus graciously handed her some wrap so she could bind her hands before slipping gloves on. As she entered the ring Vincent’s voice spoke from the boundaries of the ropes.

“Don’t you think Cassian will be pissed if he finds her up there sparring? He doesn’t like it when his students are being trained without him to monitor them.”

“And I don’t need Cassian here if all he plans do is keep me from sparring,” Nesta said adamantly.

“Now that’s what we should see more of in this gym. Someone challenging Cassian and sticking it to him when he needs it.” Vincent handed Nesta headgear. “But we also need to put safety first so wear that.”

“Worried I’ll ruin my face?” Nesta chuckled.

“More like I’m worried Cassian will ruin ours if your face gets hurt.” Victor said and Nesta wondered if she truly saw a flicker of fear at his words. “Best make sure not a single hair on your pretty head is harmed.”

“We’ll see about that,” Nesta was determined to show them just how much she had learned and that she was not to be underestimated.

Hugo ran through a few steps with her before they began circling each other with a couple of jabs thrown every now and then. Hugo picked up on how easy Nesta handled her stances and punches. He smiled before waving Marcus up.

“Hey Marcus why don’t you swap me and show her a few moves yourself?”

“Can’t handle the girl Hugo and need to tap out already?” Marcus laughed before swinging into the ring.

Hugo walked by Nesta and whispered into her ear. “Don’t hold back with Marcus. Let’s see what you can really do all right?”

Nesta nodded in understanding. After Marcus was fitted with gloves they began to practice feints and a few other moves under his direction. Nesta intentionally acted slow and pretended to fumble on a few of his instructions. From the sidelines she could see Hugo waiting in anticipation while Victor and Vincent looked on with slight boredom.

_We’ll see how bored you are in a second._

Nesta stayed focused while Marcus began to tease her. “Now don’t trip over those dainty feet of yours. Wouldn’t want you to mess up your pedicure.”

“Maybe we should cut to the chase and actually spar Marcus?” Nesta baited him. “Unless you think you're going to be beaten by me?”

Marcus let out a huge guffaw. “Alright fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. Now try hit me with your best shot.”

In a flash Nesta’s fist flew. She hit him with enough force to send him stumbling, but she didn’t stop there. With quick efficiency she performed two combos that Cassian had taught her. Even though Marcus tried to recover from his blunder, it was too late. Nesta was going to show him and everyone else just how strong she had become. With another punch she sent Marcus falling backwards on his back and gaped up at her in absolute shock.

“Why don’t you pick yourself up off the floor along with your jaw. Or do you plan on catching flies in your mouth?” Nesta smirked and raised a hand down to help him. Marcus accepted her assistance and stood up with astonishment still clear on his features.

“Damn,” Marcus said softly before shaking his head in disbelief.

“How does it feel to get your ass handed to you?” Hugo asked with mischief brightening his eyes.

“You knew?” Marcus whirled toward his friends who were each laughing uncontrollably.

“That has been the best thing I’ve seen all day!” Victor said trying to regain his composure.

“Oh yeah? Well I think I can top it off with you getting a fist to the face,” Marcus rubbed his neck before turning to Nesta. “That was pretty good. At least for a pretty lady such as yourself.”

“Thanks, next time try not trip on your own feet though.” Nesta smiled broadly. She felt exhilarated after having won the match. _If only Cassian was here to see this! Then she could prove to him just how improved she was at boxing under his guidance._

“That wasn’t good at all,” Devlon said as he approached the ring. He had seen the whole spar from behind the welcome desk. “It may appear to be dumb luck, but the only truth to that would be the idiocy you fools even think to consider her moves as being good.”

“Oh come on Devlon,” Victor said. “She won the spar with perfectly executed moves.”

“Then she shouldn’t have a problem doing it again then,” Devlon stopped beside the ring. “That is if she _thinks_ she can win.”

“I know I can win,” Nesta said with confidence. She wasn’t going to let Devlon ruin her mood after her victory.

“Then that settles it,” Devlon walked to a bench with a lone pair of gloves. He began to put them on over his already wrapped hands.

“Now wait a second-” Marcus said.

“You heard her,” Devlon returned to the ring. “She says she can win so I aim to see if she can hold up to those words.”

“Devlon-”

Whatever Hugo was about to say was abruptly cut off with the glare Devlon shot his way. In a matter of seconds Devlon was in the ring and Marcus was standing outside the ropes beside his friends who stood rigid as they watched the sight before them unfold.

“Time to discover how Cassian’s freshest piece of meat can handle herself.” Devlon rolled his shoulders and brought his hands up in the beginning stance of a sparring match. But Nesta knew this would be much more than a spar and that her pride was not the only thing at stake. If she failed then it would reflect back on Cassian as her trainer.

Nesta readied herself and on the Devlon’s count they began circling each other with snapping punches being thrown. Devlon wasn’t going easy on her as she had to compensate footwork and defensive blocks each passing second. He was trying to trap her in a corner where he could quickly defeat her. Nesta avoided the edge of the ring no matter how hard Devlon tried to push her back into a confined space.

A few minutes had gone by and Nesta's strength was waning. The day as a whole was taking a toll on her and Devlon’s strikes weren’t helping in that matter.

“Going to give up?” Devlon mocked at her. “Didn’t you say that you were going to win? Or was that all just some big words coming out of that little smart mouth of yours?”

“I think you should worry about shutting your own mouth,” Nesta feinted and swung her arm at Devlon’s head. He dodged the brunt of it, but Nesta knew she had grazed him. His eyes seethed with annoyance as he fought back with more force.

“Okay you two that’s enough,” Vincent said. “The time duration is up for a sparring round.”

Devlon and Nesta didn’t stop. If anything they moved faster. A falter in Nesta’s steps almost caused her to take a hit in the face. Devlon leaned in close as they continued to swing their gloves into each other.

“You’re going down _sweetheart_ ,” Devlon spat out. His words clearly meant to be insulting.

Nesta didn’t know what set her off. Perhaps it was how condescending his statement was or maybe it was how he made Cassian’s nickname for her sound foul. Either way she fought with more energy and landed a couple good hits to his stomach. He grunted in pain, but retaliated with vengeance.

Devlon’s foot stepped on hers and he roughly pushed her backwards. Nesta staggered while trying to regain her footing.  Before she could find her balance Devlon used the opportunity to land a heavy punch just below the center of her chest and knocking the air out of her lungs. Nesta went down on one knee trying to bring oxygen back in with heaving gasps.

“Get up!” Devlon yelled. He circled her. Waiting for her to stand so he could properly finish the fight.

Nesta’s lungs were burning as she shoved herself up. Devlon's strike was quick as a viper and stung as he made contact. Nesta put her arms up to defend herself and got a hit on his cheek when he tried to deflect her other arm.

“Devlon stop-!” Marcus yelled and it was the last thing Nesta heard before Devlon pulled his boxing glove back and hit her square in face.

For the first time in her life Nesta saw white light blinding her eyes before darkness sucked her into a blurry tunnel vision. She may have made a noise in pain as she fell to her knees, but she was too focused on the trying not to fall flat on her face. Her hands broke the fall as dizziness washed over.

“Nesta!” Voices called out and she faintly heard them getting closer.

“What were you thinking Devlon?”

“Are you okay Nesta?”

“Shit what’s going to happen when Cassian-”

Nesta wanted them all to be quiet. Her head was pounding as she brought a hand to cover one side of her face. The skin felt like it was being thrust into sharp barbs repeatedly. Her eyes watered from the stinging sensation as she inhaled deeply to control her breathing.

“What the hell is going on here?” A deep and familiar voice asked from the front doors.

_Cassian._

Nesta opened her eyes and looked in the direction of Cassian. She could see his blurry figure between the four worried men who had bounded into the ring to check on her. Clarity came quick enough for Nesta to see Cassian spot her among the men.

The image of Nesta on the ground cradling her face made Cassian’s demeanor completely change.

“Nesta?” Cassian’s hazel eyes widened before hurrying to the ring and swiftly slipping between the ropes. He pushed the others out of his way to kneel beside her. “What happened? Where are you hurt?” Concern laced his tone while his eyes ran up and down her body searching for injuries. His hands gently gripped her upper arms to keep her steady.

“She was sparring with us before she got hit in the face,” Vincent nervously explained.

Cassian eyes met Nesta’s. She wasn’t sure what he saw in her own gaze, but she could see many emotions flickering across his stare. Worry coated his features as he leaned in closer with a protective stance. Carefully he pushed back some loose strands of hair so he could see her face. Fingers glided across her brow and down her cheek where it rested. The trail his fingers took left Nesta jolting at the touch.

“Where does it hurt,” Cassian asked mistaking her movement to be a reaction of pain.

“Just my pride,” Nesta said, but winced slightly as the stinging sensation returned when she spoke.

Cassian’s intense look narrowed in at her show of pain. Nesta couldn’t take it knowing that his look would penetrate the internal walls she kept up. She made to stand with Cassian holding her close as if he was afraid she may collapse at any moment. That could be the case if she had a concussion, but she doubted her injury was that serious. The pain was already dwindling and her head was feeling much better after resting a moment.

“Cassian you can let me go,” Nesta said. She thought he was going to refuse with how his fingers tightened on her elbows and the unwavering look he sent her.  But slowly he released her before angrily turning to the others.

“Who did this?” Cassian’s voice was rough with contained fury.

“Cassian it may have been an accident-”

“You call that an accident?” Cassian growled. “She shouldn’t be sparring in the ring to begin with let alone someone punching her directly in the face!”

“She wanted to spar,” Hugo said. “She did great in her first round with Marcus, but when Devlon arrived and challenged her…” Hugo trailed off at the scathing look Cassian shot Devlon. In a split second Cassian was walking toward him. Each stride becoming more similar to a predator’s gait readying for attack.

“The fresh meat asked for it,” Devlon smirked before glancing at Nesta for a brief second. “And she got put in her place.”

Cassian surged at Devlon and their bodies collided in brawl of fists.

“Hey! Stop it you two!” Victor and the others rushed to break them apart. Cassian fought viscously out of their grip to land punch after punch to any piece of Devlon he could strike.

It was obvious the fight would go on without more intervention. Cassian wasn’t wearing any protective gear and could easily get hurt compared to Devlon who wore gloves.

Without thinking Nesta entered the fray and grabbed Cassian by the forearm. “Cassian stop!”

Devlon’s fist shot wide and missed Cassian’s jaw, but was heading straight toward Nesta’s head. She clenched her eyes shut waiting for the strike since she refused to release Cassian. A moment passed when she didn’t feel pain as she expected. Instead she felt her hair being stirred by the wind of Cassian’s other hand grabbing Devlon before he could land the blow on Nesta.

“Don’t. Touch. Her.” Cassian snarled. He squeezed Devlon’s wrist before the man grunted in pain and leapt back with Vincent and Marcus holding him back. Hugo and Victor pulled Cassian back with Nesta still clutching his tense arm.

“That’s enough,” Hugo said trying to calm the situation. “Nesta’s fine now. If you’re that worried then go to the first aid station.”

“I don’t need first aid,” Nesta disagreed. “It just stunned me that’s all.”

“But commander here looks like he may need patched up,” Victor directed their attention to a small bleeding cut and bruise forming on Cassian’s cheek from Devlon’s punches.

 “Just take him to the locker room. There should be a first aid box in there,” Hugo said. “We’ll deal with Devlon out here and try to calm his ass down so these two don’t get into a spat again.”

“And who will calm Cassian down?” Nesta asked noticing the hatred Cassian was shooting toward Devlon who glared at them in return.

“I think you’re the only one who can do that,” Hugo admitted. “Just get him to the back for some bandages and make sure he’s doused that rage before coming to the front of the gym.”

Nesta wasn’t sure if she could keep Cassian from going after Devlon again. But she was going to try.

“Come on Cassian,” She nudged him forward. “Let’s get that cut taken care of.” She tugged on his arm before he willingly followed her. His heavy breathing was the only noise passing between them as he steadied his anger. By the time they reached the empty locker room he had become deathly silent before sitting on one of the benches. He watched Nesta’s every movement as she found the medical kit on the wall and brought it back to the bench. She sat across from him and opened the box without meeting his stare.

“Look at me,” Cassian rumbled softly.

Nesta raised her head with bandage in hand. She waited for what Cassian would say next. If he dared got angry at her then she wouldn’t stand for it. There was no way she would take the blame for this when all she wanted was to spar with her new acquaintances.

“Why did you do it?” Cassian said after a length of silence.

“Do what?” Nesta asked.

“Spar with them? I told you that it was too soon for you to get in the ring.”

“I actually won my fight against Marcus,” Nesta proudly informed him. “In fact Hugo, Vincent, Victor, Marcus and I were enjoying ourselves while I got to learn a few new things about boxing.”

“Was one of those things getting your face knocked in by a damn asshole too?” Cassian simmered in boiling rage.

Nesta bristled at the words. “Next time he won’t get the upper hand.”

“You’re right,” Cassian said. “Because there won’t be a next time.”

“What?” Nesta sprang up from her seat. “I can’t let him win like that. I need to redeem myself.”

“Like hell you’ll fight that bastard again,” Cassian growled. “He’ll fight dirty if that’s what it takes to win and I won’t have you ending up in the hospital over some wounded pride.”

“Rather be in the hospital with my pride intact than be walking around in shame,” Nesta argued before turning her back on him.

Cassian’s hand shot out to grab her hand before she fully turned away. “Don’t ever say that. If you got hurt over a reason like that then I could never forgive myself.”

“But he insulted me. And you.”

“He can shove those words up his ass for all I care. I’m used to the insults, but to see you get injured…I can’t stand it Nesta. I won’t while I’m still breathing.” Cassian gentled his grip and ran his thumb across the back of her hand. His hands were swollen from his fight, but no pain flickered across his face other than the emotional distress at seeing Nesta’s puffy red skin from her own encounter with Devlon.

“And if anyone threatens you then come to me,” Cassian added.

“I can take care of myself,” Nesta felt disappointed that Cassian would think she would need him as some sort of body guard.

 “I don’t doubt that, but sometimes you need an ally to rely on.” Cassian pulled the bandage out of Nesta’s hand and proceeded to put healing ointment on it.

“So you’re my ally then?” Nesta questioned.

Cassian raised a brow as he thought over her words. He shrugged slightly in agreement. “That and more if you wish.”

 _And more if you wish._ That part made Nesta wonder both in thrill and fear of what that could mean.

“Besides you still need to work on your training before we get you in the ring again,” Cassian said before putting the bandage over his cut.

“Maybe I should just ask the others for some more inspiring pointers?” Nesta said, but didn’t truly mean it. Cassian was a great trainer and she wasn’t going to accept anyone else’s offer to train her.

Cassian shook his head and released a laugh. “I can show you some of my moves Nesta.” He stood up and entered her personal space. His fingers brushed lightly across the red swollen skin underneath her eye. “My technique is much more exhilarating than theirs. I can assure you of that.”

“Really?” Nesta crossed her arms. “What makes you say that?”

The smile he gave her left no secret to his flirtatious intentions. “Let’s just say it would be a stimulating session sweetheart.”

Nesta released a light chuckle before stepping out of the magnetic pull he was tugging her with. “Do you plan to show me that today then.” Perhaps it was the fact that they just walked away from a fight that left Nesta seeking to relieve the tension that was between them. She decided to play along with this coy game Cassian started.

A flash of shock dashed across his eyes before covering his excitement. “Not today. I say we take the rest of the day off to recuperate. I need to pick up some last minute dog items since I'll be picking Blaze up tomorrow.”

“You’re taking him home?” Nesta didn’t think he would be so quick to file out the adoption papers, but it was a pleasant surprise.

“Just got the approval before I left work today.”

“Then what are you still waiting around here for? I know a couple places you should stop by if you need any advice on the best pet stores.” Nesta tried to contain her joy and not rush to send Cassian to the nearest shopping location. She didn’t want to appear too eager in front of him, but he smiled the whole time she struggled to reign in her cheerful emotions.

“Why don’t we exchange numbers,” Cassian offered and took out his phone in his back pocket. Nesta noticed that he was still in his work clothes. She wondered how his shirt didn't rip during his fight with Devlon. But Nesta couldn't deny that Cassian’s disheveled look made heat pool in the pit of her stomach.

“Why should I give you my number?” Nesta asked.

“Because Blaze would be happy to meet with you for visits and play dates. And I would be more than thrilled if we could go out again.”

“That dinner wasn’t a date,” Nesta huffed. But she did like the idea of seeing Blaze again after his adoption.

“Then what would you say to a play date?” Cassian grinned and looked at her with something akin to desire.

Nesta thought heavily about the fact that if she would meet Blaze again then obviously his owner would be there also. She decided though that she didn’t mind spending more time with Cassian. In fact she was slightly eager about that idea.

“Fine. Let me see your phone,” Nesta held her hand out and Cassian obliged with a victorious smile. She typed in her number and returned the phone to him. “Just text me when you have the chance so I can add you to my contacts.”

Nesta opened her locker and went to switch into her other clothes in the women's changing room.

Cassian beamed brightly after she left and he quickly texted her his number along with a short message. He heard her phone buzz in her locker signaling that the message went through and that she hadn't given him a fake number. Nesta returned a few minutes later in jeans and a long-sleeve shirt. She took out her bag from the locker and looked at Cassian questioningly. She didn’t think he would still be here when she finished changing.

“Why don’t you share with me your knowledge of pet stores,” Cassian said as he stood up at her approach.

Nesta smiled and happily began listing off places where Cassian could find certain quality items at cheaper prices.

Together they walked out the locker room and passed by Devlon who pointedly ignored them. Hugo and the others were grateful that another brawl didn’t happen. Normally Cassian and Devlon’s fights were a bloodbath, but for the first time Cassian had stopped the fight earlier than usual. The men were almost certain it had something to do with the steely-eyed woman who didn’t back down from a challenge.

After Cassian and Nesta parted ways outside the gym Nesta went to check the time on her phone. There was one new text from an unknown number. She opened it and was greeted with a message that caused a small smile to form on her lips.

**Hey Sweetheart,**

**It’s Cassian (your friendly neighborhood handsome man). Can’t wait for our play date.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in on my [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)! I'm always in the mood to lounge and talk in the Nessian trash can!


	13. Casshole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A text from Cassian has Nesta heading to the dog park to meet him and Blaze, his recently adopted dog. The trio enjoy their time together, but a misunderstanding leads Nesta’s words trudge up a part of Cassian’s past that he can’t forget.

Elain and Feyre were sitting down in the living room of Nesta and Elain’s apartment. The three Archeron sisters just finished watching a movie when Nesta announced that she needed to get ready for a trip downtown. She didn’t mention why she was going, but the other sisters didn’t think anything odd of the trip.

Nesta’s phone began buzzing on the small coffee table causing Elain to glance down and see if her sister was receiving a call. She noticed it was a text message, but the sender was unfamiliar. In fact Elain was puzzled by the name that popped up on the screen.

“Who’s Casshole?” Elain quirked her head to the side as she continued to look at the message alert until the screen went black.

“Casserole?” Feyre said misunderstanding what her sister asked.

“No, Cass-HOLE.” Elain repeated.

Feyre looked at her sister like she must have heard wrong. “Not sure who that is.”

Nesta walked into the living room and spotted her phone on the table. “I was wondering where I put that.” She picked the phone up and checked the time on it.

“Someone named ‘Casshole’ texted you a second ago,” Elain said.

“Really?” Excitement tinting Nesta’s voice as she tried to act nonchalant. “About time! That jerk kept me waiting long enough.”

“Waiting? Are you texting someone Nesta?” Elain asked with bright eyes wondering how her sister could have kept something like this hidden.

“Well I’m meeting this person-”

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Elain bounced on the couch. “What’s he like? Does he go to our school? Is he the guy that came over to help with your business project?” Elain fired questions while Nesta stood dumbfounded in the midst of it all.

“What are you talking about?” Nesta asked when Elain finally stopped to take a breath.

“She’s trying to figure out who your new _friend_ is,” Feyre said with mirth.

Nesta didn’t catch the meaning at first, but looked aghast when she finally understood. “I’m not dating him. He texted me making sure I could still meet up to visit Blaze.”

“Oh.” Elain said. “You’re meeting with Blaze’s owner?”

“I’m going to meet _Blaze_ ,” Nesta clarified. She didn’t need her sisters thinking she was interested in Cassian. Though recently she had come to anticipate their time spent together. His cocky smirk once aggravated her to no end, but now she was slowly beginning to tolerate it.

Feyre raised her brow fractionally that it missed the notice of her sisters. She knew a certain friend of hers had recently adopted a dog named Blaze. Feyre didn’t think this was a coincidence.

“The train I need to take is leaving soon so I’ll be back later this afternoon,” Nesta said while grabbing her coat on the way toward the door.

“Don’t forget we’re having dinner at my place next week,” Feyre said. “Mor is eating with us so we’ll probably order pizza that night.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Nesta put on her shoes and said goodbye to her sisters before taking off to the dog park.

When she arrived at the park it was easy to find Cassian and Blaze among the other dog owners who were playing with their canines. Cassian’s tall frame stood out while Blaze rambunctiously ran around with a tennis ball in his mouth. Nesta stood yards away to watch the pair undisturbed.

It was clear Cassian and Blaze were enjoying their time together. She could hear Cassian laughing and calling out to Blaze when the amber haired pitbull bounded off after the ball. When Blaze finally returned Cassian would pet him and ruffle the top of his head causing Blaze’s ears to flop with each movement. The scene made Nesta smile without restraint and made her decide to join in on the fun.

Nesta whistled in a short unique pattern that she always used at the animal shelter. Blaze was playing with a ball, but his head shot up at the noise. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him to where she was. Cassian whirled around thinking he was going to need to chase Blaze down, but stopped in his tracks at the sight of Nesta bending down to greet Blaze.

“How are you boy?” Nesta laughed as Blaze jumped up and down on his forelegs in joy. This wasn’t the first time they had met at the dog park with Cassian, but Nesta was always overcome with happiness when she saw them. “Did you miss me?”

“I think we both missed our quality time with you,” Cassian walked up to them with a grin starting to form. “Was your trip in the subway good?”

Nesta looked up with a bright smile still on her face. “It was worth it to be here.” She stood up and brushed off stray pieces of dirt along the hem of her pants from Blaze’s paws.

“After we get done here I can drop you off so you don’t need to take the subway again,” Cassian offered.

“You don’t need to do that,” Nesta said and walked beside Cassian after he tossed the tennis ball again. Blaze took off after it and almost overshot where the ball had landed.

“I would like to give you a ride though,” Cassian said.

Nesta subtly glanced at Cassian from the corner of her eye. She didn’t know if Cassian intended to say such phrase with a double meaning. His expression didn’t reveal that his intentions were less than an innocent.

“Thanks, but I don’t mind walking. It gives me extra time to think.”

“And what’s been on your mind?” Cassian asked.

Nesta shrugged. “School, work and the usual stuff.”

“Really? No handsome charming men filling your thoughts recently,” Cassian chuckled at the pointed look Nesta gave him.

Although he wasn’t too far off with that statement if Nesta was telling the truth. Cassian had been entering into her life in such odd ways that Nesta found troubling. In the grocery store she wondered what meals Cassian was cooking that day and when she smelled chocolate she imagined the rest of Cassian’s scent filtering into her senses. Hell when she was looking up presents to buy Elain and Feyre for the holidays Nesta was curious about what kind of gift Cassian would like. It was troubling for Nesta to have so many mundane things reminding her of this brutish man.

Nesta looked forward and watched the other dogs running around in the park. “Actually I have had someone on my mind.”

Cassian stumbled and tried to recover from his shock. “Are you serious?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Nesta let a small smile play on her lips. Cassian meanwhile looked astonished and fixated his eyes on her.

“And who is this lucky guy?” Cassian said brusquely. He truly didn’t want to hear Nesta talking about some other man, but he wanted to know who had caught her eye. And perhaps figure out a way to capture her attention instead. It had been almost 6 months since their first heated encounter. Things were moving slowly between them as Cassian began seeing through her defensive walls better. She still didn’t completely trust him, but in time he knew Nesta would realize Cassian’s intentions were true.

“You actually know him,” Nesta glanced at Cassian for a fraction of a second, but it didn’t miss his notice. For a moment he didn’t know how to respond.

“Oh? And what’s he like?” Cassian eased his gait so he could walk beside her. He watched her closely with anticipation.

Cassian could hardly believe he was the man she was talking about, but who else could it be? No one from the gym had spoken with her enough times that Nesta would be serious about pursuing a relationship. She knew no one from his workplace other than Rhys and Azriel who were already taken by Feyre and Mor. The only person left was Cassian himself.

“He’s outgoing and has these bright hazel eyes to go with his personality,” Nesta listed.

 _She’s talking about me! I can’t believe it!_ Cassian barely maintained a neutral expression, but he was ecstatic beyond compare.

“In fact I think I need some his attention right now,” Nesta stopped and looked up at Cassian with those steel-gray eyes he has come to think about more often these days.

“And what kind of attention do you need,” Cassian stepped closer. He would give her anything she asked.

She looked up at him thoughtfully before speaking in a low tone. “A kiss would be nice.”

Cassian’s eyes widened. _Oh she would get a kiss. And more if she desired._

“Don’t let me stop you,” Cassian’s husky voice and cocky smile stirred something inside Nesta. She smiled like a cat who caught a mouse.

“Blaze! Come here boy!” Nesta called and Blaze ran back to them before stopping in front of Cassian and Nesta with skid. Blaze dropped the ball and looked up at them waiting for affection. Nesta knelt in front of the dog and fondly ruffled his ears.

“Why don’t you give me a kiss handsome man?” Nesta said and Blaze proceeded to lick her cheek a few times with her laughing in glee.

Cassian was completely confused before he realized he had been tricked. Nesta had been talking about Blaze this whole time. Cassian wanted to be disappointed, but he had to appreciate how clever Nesta was to keep in on in his toes. His laugh bellowed across the park at how well Nesta had played him this round.

“I have to admit that was good,” Cassian said when Nesta stood up with a beaming smile. She laughed along with him and was glad he took her teasing in good spirits. Of course she shouldn’t expect any less considering how often he gave her similar treatment with his flirtations.

Cassian admired the way Nesta laughed without restraint. Her stern demeanor drifted away like storm clouds leaving bright open skies that he wanted to bask in. Without a second thought he grabbed her hand and took off in a run making sure he ran slow enough so she wouldn’t stumble.

“Let’s see if Blaze will give chase after I’ve taken his lady away!” Cassian said with a whoop and Nesta was quick to join in the run. Her fingers tightened as they bolted across the grass with Blaze running after them. It didn’t take long for the dog to catch up, but the trio continued to laugh and run in the chilly air that was brought with the upcoming colder season.

They circled back to where they first started with Cassian and Nesta heaving in deep breaths while Blaze pranced around them eager to give another chase.

“Now that was a work out!” Nesta said as she inhaled deeply. She leaned on Cassian to steady her body and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders as if it was second nature. Her head rested near his heart where she could hear it pounding from their recent run.

“Oh how cute!” And elderly women passing by said with her small terrier dog on a leash.

Cassian, thinking she was talking about Blaze who sat at his feet, nodded at the woman with a polite smile. “Blaze is quite the looker. In fact he’s stolen this little lady’s heart as well,” Cassian nudged Nesta who was still under his arm. She rolled her eyes amicably at Cassian’s words and gave the elderly women a small smile.

“Oh! Yes your dog is quite adorable, but I was talking about you two,” the elder said. “You’re such a lovely couple that it makes me happy to see how darling you both act together.”

Nesta broke apart from Cassian as if burned. Both of them tried to explain over each other that they were not dating, but the older woman was already walking off with her dog. This left Nesta and Cassian awkwardly glancing away from each other while Blaze wagged his tail between them.

“I should get going,” Nesta said finally.

“Wait,” Cassian reached for her, but stopped short. “I’ll take you home.”

“It’s fine,” Nesta said.

“Are we fine?”

“What do you mean?”

“You acted-,” Cassian searched for a word to fit the situation. “We were having fun,“ he tried again. "And I liked that a lot, but when that woman thought we were dating you immediately hid behind that shield of yours.”

“Just because someone mistook us for a couple, doesn’t mean I’m going to get bent out of shape. I just didn’t want there to be a misunderstanding.” Nesta gave Blaze a parting pet. “Honestly Cassian it’s fine. Besides I don’t _hide_ behind anything.”

Cassian hummed in thought. Deliberating whether to call her out on that bluff. He massaged the back of his neck and appeared to be conflicted. Nesta couldn’t comprehend the reason.

“Here you are asking if I’m fine, yet you’re the one who looks like he has something bothering him,” Nesta said.

Cassian looked at her and opened his mouth before shutting it without saying a word. He shook is head and exhaled a deep breath.

“Don’t worry about me. Just thinking is all.” Cassian leaned down and put the leash on Blaze. “Are you sure you don’t want a ride?”

“Positive,” Nesta responded. “No sense in you driving south when you live on the north side.”

“Nesta I would drive hours if you needed me,” Cassian said seriously and Nesta had to look away from how truthful those words rang. Cassian was always willing to lend a helping hand no matter the cost to him. He would do that for anyone in need. But Nesta didn’t want to rely on the charity of others when she was capable of taking care of herself.

“Thanks for the offer, but it’s not a problem for me to walk.” Nesta said. “I’ll see you next week for training right?”

Cassian nodded. “Yes and we’ll be working on sparring as well.”

“Are you joking or are you honestly going to be spar with me?” Nesta cautiously asked.

It had been a couple weeks since the incident with Devlon and none of them had brought it up since. Nesta had noticed though the following week that Devlon had more bruises along with a few on Cassian. When she asked the other gym members about it they told her Cassian challenged Devlon to a match. Evidently Cassian was still pissed with the way Devlon treated Nesta and made sure that his point was clear. Nesta was off limits. That fact infuriated her knowing that Cassian didn’t think she was capable enough of taking care of her own business.

“Or should I just ask the other gym members to spar with me? I’m sure they wouldn’t through a tantrum if I took a few hits,” Nesta said with ire.

Cassian narrowed his eyes at the undertone statement she was hinting at. “It’s common knowledge not to mess with another trainer’s student. It disrupts the training if someone else steps in.” Cassian crossed his arms. “Besides I'm not one to stand by and let someone’s actions go unpunished when they intentionally insult and harm my students.”

“Isn’t that the point of sparring? Hurting someone else?”

“What Devlon did was more than that,” Cassian gritted out. “He wanted to make you suffer. I heard what happened before I got there. Trust me he was not looking to take part in a clean spar.”

“I wish you would trust me enough not to go behind my back and fight my battles for me,” Nesta admitted with a glare.

“I _had_ your back Nesta,” Cassian said slowly. “That’s what friends do. We defend each other.”

“Then show me next week how to defend myself so I don’t need to rely on you,” Nesta said.

“Would that be so bad? Relying on someone else for a change instead of keep to yourself like some lone wolf?” Cassian clenched his hands. “Friends are there to keep you stable and grounded. Without them…you can’t live like that knowing people won’t be there for you.”

“And what would you know about that? You’ve always had you inner circle of friends,” Nesta stood firm. “I doubt you even know what it feels like to have people you trust turn on you.”

Cassian jolted his head back as if slapped. “And that’s where you’re wrong,” Cassian bit out with eyes flickering between grief and guilt. “But you wouldn’t believe me no matter what I said.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Cassian strode by with Blaze following behind. “Just know that we all make mistakes Nesta and sometimes the price of those mistakes linger for the rest of our lives.”

Without another word or parting glance Cassian left with Blaze. Nesta watched them go. Wondering what must have happened to make Cassian look so…defeated. She never imagined seeing Cassian walk away with rigid shoulders as though the weight of the world was pressing down on him. His words echoed in her mind and for the first time Nesta felt as though her words had cut too deep. Cassian’s old wounds reopened and she didn’t know how to heal them. One question filled her thoughts though.

_What happened that made him so remorseful?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in the Nessian ship on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	14. The Burden Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta discovers what part of Cassian’s past haunts him. And it comes in the form of a dreamer with bright brown eyes.

“Now that was some good pizza!” Feyre said after finishing her last slice.

“It’s too bad Elain had to meet up with her group for a school project,” Mor shut the empty pizza box and went to place it near the trash bin.

“She’ll be happy that we saved her a couple slices though,” Nesta stretched her legs out under the table. After consuming the delicious pizza it made her long for the cozy bed that awaited back at her apartment.

“You know what sounds good right about now?” Feyre leaned back in her chair with her hand rubbing circles over her stomach. “Cassian’s brownies with powdered sugar would be the perfect dessert.”

“Don’t tempt me,” Mor laughed as she returned to the table. “Now you’re making me want to call Cassian and force him to deliver some to us!”

The abrupt mention of Cassian made Nesta startle. She hadn't been able to forget the words he spoke to her at the dog park. They constantly kept popping up in her mind and it was becoming meddlesome.

_“Just know that we all make mistakes Nesta and sometimes the price of those mistakes linger for the rest of our lives.”_

What sort of mistake still haunted him? Cassian didn’t appear to be the type to let history plague the present. He lived for the moment and didn’t let anyone stop him from enjoying even the most mundane activities. So why did he suddenly become closed off from her? Usually Nesta was the one with walls to defend herself, but with Cassian it was as if someone had doused his spirit.

“Nesta?” Mor interrupted her thoughts with a furrowed brow.

“Hmm?” Nesta looked up and saw both Mor and Feyre watching her.

 “I know that look,” Feyre leaned forward in her chair so both arms rested on the kitchen table. “You’ve got something on your mind and it’s bugging you.”

“No I don’t,” Nesta disagreed, but Mor had joined in on her sister’s side.

“Looks like someone needs to come clean and have some girl talk,” Mor gave her wide brown puppy eyes that worked on most people, but Nesta wasn’t falling for it.

“Nice try Mor, but you would have better luck working your charm on someone else who doesn’t know you’re not so innocent as you claim to be.” Nesta took a small sip of wine from her glass.

“Come on Nesta,” Feyre pleaded with a smile. “Might as well share your thoughts since Mor and I already have tonight.”

“Debating about what you’re going to wear to the Velaris party isn’t that concerning,” Nesta drawled. “You two are going to look great and your dates won’t be looking at anyone else besides you two even if you wore tattered scraps of fabric.”

“I bet Rhys will be ripping your dress into scraps by the end of the night,” Mor elbowed Feyre who smirked behind her own drink.

“He better not considering I like that dress,” Feyre looked back up at Nesta. “Do _you_ have any big plans the night of the party?”

“No, why would I?” Nesta asked and was only given a shrug by Feyre in return. Mor found that opportune moment to drink her wine and hide the faint workings of a smile.

“I wonder who Cassian will be inviting?” Feyre drummed her fingers on the table. “He still hasn’t confirmed if he’s got a date yet.”

“You know Cassian,” Mor said. “He’ll probably wait until the last minute, but Casanova always manages to get a date.”

“You call him Casanova?” Nesta inquired with curiosity.

“He’s always flirting and let’s just say his reputation with the ladies proceeds him,” Mor chuckled. “He’s likes to think he’s charming enough to grab anyone’s attention.”

“But he’s not like that anymore,” Feyre interjected and gave Mor a pointed look. “He still flirts, but not quite to the extent he used to. And he hasn’t been seeing someone for months now.”

“That’s true,” Mor agreed and gave a pointed look at Nesta. “Casanova appears to be turning over a new leaf and is settling down a bit.”

“Why are you looking at me for?” Nesta distracted herself by taking another drink. “If you think I’m the cause of his change then you should look elsewhere. Besides I doubt I’m the only one receiving his…advances.”

“Don’t be too sure on that,” Feyre implied and Nesta shot her a disbelieving look.

“Cassian isn’t interested in me,” Nesta twirled her wine glass by the stem and failed to notice the discreet look between Feyre and Mor.

“What makes you think that,” More questioned in a serious tone that made Nesta look up.

“Well his skirt chasing reputation doesn’t make his interest in me seem genuine at times since others have made it known that his flirtations are a common occurrence,” Nesta said. Devlon’s words had left a mark on her about Nesta being portrayed as _fresh meat_ and that Cassian wasn’t prone to linger after having a taste. Still it was hard to imagine Cassian would do such a thing, but then again it’s also clear he has quite a long list of past girlfriends or whatever he wants to call them.

“All it takes is one person to change someone,” Mor countered softly. “Cassian may have had many lovers in the past, but he’s still got a heart of gold. Once he finds a special someone who makes him work to be a better man while accepting his flaws then you will see what I mean.”

“You don’t think I see that?” Nesta agitatedly turned her head away and glared at the wall. _You would have to be blind to not see the good that Cassian embodies. He still gets on my nerves, but that doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy._

Mor held her hands up in peace. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it to come out like that.”

“Anyways,” Feyre eased into the conversation trying to get back to her original concern. “What’s bothering you Nesta?”

At first Nesta didn’t want to admit that Cassian was at the root of her concern. But she figured if anyone knew what mistake plagued Cassian then who better to ask then two of his closest friends. One of which he had known since his teen years.

“Actually it’s something that Cassian said that has been on my mind,” Nesta admitted.

“And that is?” Feyre hinted hoping that her eldest sister would open up. _Perhaps Cassian finally asked her out on a date that didn’t involve his dog as a third wheel. Granted she doubted those park visits could be even called dates._

“He mentioned something about a mistake he made that has been haunting him,” Nesta began. “Cassian made it seem as though it happened years ago, but I figured if anyone would know it might be you Mor.”

“Me?” Mor’s defensive tone wasn’t missed by Nesta. “Why would you say that?”

Nesta paused. “Because you’re one of his childhood friends?”

“Oh. I could understand that then,” Mor sighed. “Although I imagine I’m that mistake he’s talking about.”

The table went silent as Feyre looked at Mor in slight concern.

“Don’t give me that look Feyre,” Mor said. “We both know what he’s talking about and it’s ancient history at this point.”

“I’m lost,” Nesta darted between her sister and roommate. “How could _you_ be the mistake?” Mor was perfect in looks and had a magnetic personality that always brought people in. She was the bright personable one out of their odd bunch and Nesta…she wasn’t like that. If anything their demeanors were two sides of a coin. Why would she be tied into Cassian’s mistake?

“It’s more like what we did was a mistake,” Mor clarified. She looked intently at Nesta with serious brown eyes. “I was sixteen when Rhysand introduced me to Azriel and Cassian. We were at this summer camp each of our families sent us to. I was lucky enough to go considering how strict my parents were and I wanted to make the most of my freedom during the two months I was away from that hellish cage of a home.”

Mor poured a bit more wine into her glass and offered the bottle to those around the table. Nesta declined as she was invested in hearing the story.

“Anyways I was tired of being treated like a porcelain doll by my parents. They wanted me to live a life _they_ commanded and so I wanted to experience something that would piss them off yet I would still get fun out of it as well. Or at least that was the original idea.”

“So you did some extracurricular activities that your parents disapproved of?” Nesta raised a brow.

“The activity isn’t one you would find on any written camp agenda,” Feyre said with a glance at Mor.

“Cassian was a year older than me and even as a teen he was handsome,” Mor continued and heaved a heavy sigh. “I decided to have sex with him since I thought he was attractive and had a personality to match. I also knew he had previous experience in this sort of situation.”

“What?” Nesta blurted. She couldn’t have heard that right. Cassian and Mor? Together?

“It was my first time and both Cassian and I regretted it afterwards,” Mor explained and ran a hand through her golden blonde hair. “When Rhysand found out he fought with Cassian so badly that I vowed never to get involved with my cousin’s friends again. On top of that my parents were pissed that I _debased_ myself with someone like him. They kicked me out and I ended up staying with Rhys and his mom until she passed away after he turned 18. Even then I still stayed with my cousin since I had nowhere else to turn.”

“Wait a minute. You and Cassian slept together?” Nesta wanted to make sure she heard correctly.

“It wasn’t supposed to be that big of a deal,” Mor looked into her wine glass and took a large drink. “We both just wanted fun, but I think Cassian may have also done it because he thought I was getting between him and his friends since I had been hanging out with Azriel so often. Of course Rhysand and Azriel didn’t see it that way and practically shunned Cassian for months. Well Azriel did most of the shunning while Rhys did the walloping.”

“So Cassian was punished for it? But you both agreed to-“

“It doesn’t really matter,” Mor interrupted. “It’s in the past and I’m over it. Even if it drives Cassian insane that I walked away and never looked back”

“Are you kidding? He obviously holds the weight of that choice you made together,” Nesta said. “And I doubt it’s because he is annoyed that you moved on. I can’t see him acting so depressed simply because you both parted ways.”

Mor looked at Feyre for assistance.

“I think Cassian just hasn’t found it in himself to let it go in a manner of speaking,” Feyre added.

“Obviously not,” Nesta bit out. “Maybe it’s because of the way you treat him as if he’s still the bad guy.”

“What are you-” Mor straightened in her seat.

“I’ve heard the way you and the rest of your friends talk about him,” Nesta clenched her fists underneath the table. Anger flowing hot through her veins. “I finally understand now what you all mean when you speak about Cassian and how his ‘number one priority is fucking’ or that he can’t ‘control his urges’. You’re all blaming him for something in which he’s not the only one at fault.”

“So you’re blaming me?” Mor asked in shock.

“I’m saying that you _both_ agreed to your little camp activity and that he shouldn’t be taking all the blame. “

“Then what do you want me to do about it?”

“I-I don’t know, but he shouldn’t be the only one carrying that burden,” Nesta’s voice quieted as she herself was still at a loss of how to help Cassian.

Mor and Feyre were silent. “You love him,” Mor’s eyes widened.

Nesta was stunned for a second. “No I don’t-”

“Then why are you defending him so fiercely?” Mor questioned.

“Because someone has to!” Nesta exclaimed with her emotions finally boiling over. Her rage at the way Cassian was treated by his friends and the sorrow she felt when she saw how strained he was by both his and their actions were too much for Nesta to hold back.

“Nesta,” Feyre gently interceded. “We all care for Cassian. It’s just a complicated between him, Mor and Azriel.”

“No it’s not. Mor and Cassian had sex while Cassian paid the price for years to come.”

“You act like I’m not a victim-” Mor’s voice began to rise.

“And you’re not! Sure you’re parents kicked you out, but you had Rhysand and Azriel guarding your back while they turned on Cassian,” Nesta spoke with such fierceness that Mor and Feyre were too surprised to say anything. “You and Cassian wanted a night together,” Nesta choked on the words. “Yet Cassian is made out to be the villain of this story.”

“He’s not a villain,” Mor countered. “But I understand why you would think that Cassian has been…treated unjustly. And for that I’m sorry.”

“Apologize to Cassian,” Nesta stood up. “He’s the one who truly needs it. I’m just the one who spoke up to make you see how much it truly hurts him.”

Mor sat silent as Feyre stood up to guide her sister out the door. Today’s dinner was going to be cut short. After putting on her shoes and jacket Nesta turned to say goodbye to her sister and Mor.

“Wait,” Mor approached holding a small plastic container with Elain’s pizza slices inside. “Say hello to your sister for me.”

“I will,” Nesta took the container. “Both of you have a goodnight.”

“Goodnight Nesta,” Mor and Feyre said as Nesta opened the door walked outside to head home.

After a few minutes Mor reached for her cell phone and texted Cassian asking to meet up for coffee tomorrow. She had a lot of things to say and hopefully she could ease the guilt that she forced on her friend after all these years. And perhaps she could talk with Cassian about the women who defended him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	15. Sparring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian and Nesta finally spar, but they aren’t fighting just for pride. The winner will receive something in return for their win from the opponent. And neither of them are willing to lose.

“Again,” Cassian held up his flat padded gloves preparing for Nesta’s next punch.

“I thought we were going to spar today,” Nesta punched the target and brought her gloved fist back. She had been excited ever since Cassian told her at the dog park that they were sparring for today’s training. But now they were doing the same old routine without any sign of switching into actual hand-to-hand combat that Nesta was expecting.

“So I heard you were at Feyre and Mor’s place for dinner,” Cassian said unexpectedly.

“Yea and what about it?” Nesta completed a quick combo and focused on her balance.

“Mor texted me and said you were angry after you left,” Cassian paused. “And apparently you confronted her about what happened years ago between her and me.”

Nesta’s rhythm stuttered at his words. “I asked if she knew anything about the past you regretted. I had no idea that you and her…were together.” The thought of Mor and Cassian together left a sour taste in Nesta's mouth that she didn’t know how to get rid of.

“You shouldn’t have butted into my business,” Cassian’s tone was serious as he looked at her. “It’s my fault we even were in that situation to begin with. No need for you to start verbally accusing Mor.”

“But you both agreed to it so you shouldn’t be carrying that weight on your shoulder alone,” Nesta disagreed with a tinge of fury. “Speaking from someone outside your inner circle of friends I can tell you that you’re not the only one at fault. You and Mor shared that choice and you’ll both live with that decision, but that doesn’t mean it should eat away at your life.”

“And what would you know about that?” Cassian bit out fiercely. “How the hell could you relate to being the one that ruined your friend’s life and causing a rift between yourself and your two best friends?”

“You’re asking the girl who sat by and almost let her sisters pay the price for some petty anger toward their father,” Nesta looked Cassian in the eye. “Trust me Cassian. I was solely at fault for my mistake, but you weren’t.”

“You _and_ Elain should have helped Feyre,” Cassian said.

Nesta shook her head. “Elain didn’t-”

“If Elain’s not at fault then Mor isn’t either,” Cassian interrupted. “You can’t change the blame game rules if you won’t abide by them.”

“I was just trying to help you!” Nesta knocked Cassian’s hands down so she could see him better. “Why can’t you just accept that I tried to do something nice for you when you were obviously hurting from the past.”

Cassian straightened and his dark tattoos peeked out from the sleeve of his shirt at the movement. “I don’t want your charity Nesta. And I certainly don’t want it from girl who can’t accept help from others in return.”

“There wasn’t some sort need to pity you that made me speak up,” Nesta voice raised as Cassian’s had lowered. “It was simply the right thing to do.”

“You don’t understand,” Cassian whirled around and took off his boxing mitts. He kept his back towards Nesta as he began walking away. “I’m a bastard that deserves the words they speak.”

Nesta couldn’t accept the words coming out of Cassian’s mouth. He spoke as if he truly believed the statement. But Cassian is the one person who _never_ deserved such treatment. Nesta couldn’t hold it in any longer. Her rage flared at an astonishing speed as she moved without thinking. She ripped a boxing glove off her hand and threw it right at Cassian’s head. It was at that moment he turned around to say something and the glove smacked him directly into his stunned face.

The glove fell to the floor as Nesta watched Cassian with matching wide eyes.

“Did you just throw your glove at me,” Cassian said slowly.

Nesta gaped like a fish. “I-I didn’t think you would turn around.”

“So you _did_ intentionally try to hit me.” Cassian bit the inside of his cheek trying to hold back his reaction.

Nesta moved forward until she reached Cassian. She raised her hand to inspect his face. Cassian stood still and held his breath as her fingers hovered over his face. He could feel the warmth radiating off her skin and he almost leaned into that almost touch.

“At least your face wasn’t damaged,” Nesta said. “It would be quite the tragedy if it was.” She gave him a faint smile hoping that a bit of rare humor on her part would make him stop being mad at her. It didn’t pass Nesta’s mind why she thought it was so important for him to not look at her with eyes that weren’t bright with happiness.

Cassian blinked and suddenly burst out laughing. Nesta startled backward at the abrupt noise as Cassian placed a hand onto her slim shoulder. He doubled over in laughter and tried to speak.

“You were that worried you harmed this precious work of art,” Cassian motioned to his face. “Sweetheart I’ve taken a few gloves to the face and they were thrown a lot harder than that.”

“So you’re not hurt,” Nesta said with hidden relief. At least Cassian found humor in the situation and she was glad he got some sort of laugh out of this.

“And if I was hurt would you kiss it better?” Cassian tapped his cheek. “Because maybe it stings a little right here.”

Nesta blushed and averted her eyes from his cheek. “You aren’t serious.”

She felt Cassian move forward. “And if I was?”

Slowly Nesta looked up and saw his neutral expression waiting for her next move. Eyes watching closely for a sign given at her will. She didn’t know what to do. But she did know what she needed to ask. “Would it help - I mean if I were to kiss you on the cheek,” Nesta stumbled over her words and hated herself for the weakness. “Would you see that you’re someone who doesn’t deserve the pain of guilt? If I could kiss that away then I-“ Nesta covered her face in embarrassment.

_Why did I just say that? I shouldn’t be kissing him in the first place!_

“Never mind just forget I said anything.” Nesta reached down to grab her glove hoping Cassian would shrug off the encounter and leave it at that. Of course she should have known better when he bent down with her.

“Nesta,” Cassian reached for her hand that held the wayward glove. “I’m sorry you’re upset.”

“I’m not upset,” Nesta said determinedly.

“But you are and it’s because I made you worry about my past,” Cassian gently gripped her hand. “I’m sorry that you felt the need to confront my demons.”

“Cassian you don’t deserve that treatment,” Nesta said and finally looked up to face him. “I just wanted others to see how much it was hurting you when they said those things. But I can’t apologize for what I did.” She refused to regret her choice in telling Mor how wrong she and the rest of the inner circle treated Cassian.

“Thank you,” Cassian said softly. “I just can’t believe you did all that for me.”

“I would do it again for you,” Nesta said honestly. _I would do it for anyone._ The sentiment almost mirrored Cassian’s own words to her months ago.

Cassian’s eyes widened before a small smile formed on the edge of his lips. “About that kiss,” Cassian’s deep voice filled the small space between their heads. “Why don’t we settle this in a more exciting way.”

Nesta leaned back in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I did promise you a spar didn’t I?” Cassian stood up still holding Nesta’s hand and guiding her up with him. “Whoever wins two out of three boxing rounds will have one request to be carried out by the other.”

“So you want to fight for a kiss?” Nesta clarified.

Cassian gave a slight shrug. “A request for a loss and if you win you have the honor of me at your mercy.” He smirked and Nesta felt her competitive nature rise to new heights. _She would win this. She had to._

“You’re on,” Nesta grinned like a feral cat ready to pounce.

As they put on their boxing gloves Nesta ran through the many techniques she could use to defeat Cassian. Wins were decided on a point system based on contact. A hit landed on the opposer’s body, other than the boxing gloves, was considered one point. Each round would be played until someone earned five points. Nesta adjusted her headgear before walking to the matt where Cassian was putting on the last of his gear.

A calm silence overtook the room as they squared off.

“Ready?” Cassian said to which Nesta nodded in confirmation.

And so the dance began where fire and steel circled each other. Each patiently waiting for the other to make the first move and assessing the strengths each one possessed. Nesta knew Cassian’s larger body would be slower than hers so she had to use speed to her best advantage to finish the match quickly.

She lunged forward and was blocked by Cassian. Swings and dodges mixed together as they moved with one another. Nesta landed a few hits before leaping backwards to avoid a hit to her shoulder. Cassian had landed two soft hits, but Nesta wasn’t intending on letting him take another point.

“3 to 2 in my favor,” Nesta said slightly breathless.

“Not for long,” Cassian feinted right and landed a strike right below Nesta’s shoulder. Each of his hits weren’t strong enough to leave any bruises. There was just enough force to let Nesta know each time his glove came in contact with her skin.

This kept going for five minutes before Cassian ended up winning the round with a two-punch combo much to Nesta’s dismay. Now she had to win the last two rounds if she ever hoped to beat him. Of course winning against Cassian would be a sweet victory itself, but why not make him do something as well. Maybe she could convince him to make those brownies Feyre and Mor mentioned were so good. She wouldn’t be opposed to that either.

“Tired already Nesta?” Cassian said as the second round began.

“Just thought you needed the first win, but it’s time for that cocky attitude of yours to take hit,” Nesta darted right and made contact with Cassian’s forearm. They went back and forth with this round lasting longer than the last one. His moves seemed slower and it irked Nesta to think he was going easy on her. She made sure that her last winning point stuck hard.

“Nice hit,” Cassian grinned. “Think you can win the final round too?”

“I don’t want to win a fight if you go easy on me,” Nesta glared and settled into position. “If it’s one thing I hate most it’s when people don’t take me seriously.”

“Who said I wasn’t being serious?” Cassian raised his gloved hands and counted down for the match to begin. They were tied and this would be the deciding round of who won their challenge.

“Cassian I’ve seen you fight Devlon and this is pathetic compared to that,” Nesta blocked a punch and moved into a better striking pose.

“That was different,” Cassian said.

Nesta leapt forward and struck him hard enough to push air out of his lungs. She retreated back as he moved forward on the offense.

“Stop behaving like I’m some damn piece of glass and treat me like an equal!” Nesta lunged forward again as her words turned into a battle cry. If they were going to spar then Cassian could at least have the decency to take this as seriously as she did.

A switch seemed to have flipped inside Cassian, because with rapid speed he ended up throwing combo after combo. Nesta sensing the change struggled to defend herself against the onslaught of hits. In less than a minute he easily worked through her weak spots and gained the five points needed to end the round.

It was over. And Cassian had won.

After his last winning hit Cassian was close enough to Nesta’s body that she couldn’t avoid staring at his body. He didn’t even break a sweat and here she was with faint perspiration forming on her forehead. She wiped it away and focussed on him. He wrapped his arm around Nesta’s back and pulled her into him causing her to gasp in surprise. Her body stood flush against his as the arm tightened and his gloved hand rested on her waist.

“Don’t ever believe that I think you are lesser Nesta,” Cassian said softly with his breath grazing the top of her head. She looked up and saw Cassian staring intently at her. He hardly sounded winded from the spar. In truth his years worth of training and experience easily prepared him for a fight.

Yet Nesta was still trying to catch up with how fast Cassian had won that round. She was clearly outmatched by this man, but a deal was a deal.

“I guess I owe you that kiss then,” Nesta said as she took deep breaths to steady her breathing. She was blaming their sparring for the lack of oxygen and not the fact that Cassian’s warm muscled body was pressed against her. The last time they were this close was when he almost kissed her. And now Nesta was about to give him what he had been wanting since that first day he started training her.

“I get one request,” Cassian said as his eyelids fell and he stared longingly at her.

Nesta didn’t wait for him to ask. She knew what he wanted from the beginning. Nesta braced her gloved hand on his other forearm and leaned up on her toes. His arm across her back tightened fractionally to ease her up. Her lips met his cheek where she could feel the faint hint of stubble. Still it felt wonderful against her skin and she was tempted to let her lips linger. More than that she wondered what his reaction would be if he felt her tongue graze his skin like he did to her neck those months ago. But Nesta didn’t dare follow out on that curiosity. Instead the kiss was brief and she ducked her head down so he wouldn’t see her reddened face.

“You know my cheek didn’t hurt anymore,” Cassian whispered into her ear. “But my pride was wounded when you won that second round.”

“More like the round you let me win,” Nesta said as she tried to compose herself. She shifted in his arm and felt his muscles clench with the movement. The layers of fabric between them couldn’t hide the strength that was beneath his skin.

“What makes you think I let you win,” Cassian asked with lips pulling back into a slight smile. “Perhaps I was so distracted by you and your raging words that it was impossible for me to focus. Either that or the fact you look cute in those shorts.”

Nesta gave Cassian an unamused glare.

“But now I know what my request is,” Cassian said.

Nesta stilled. “But the kiss was your request.”

“I didn’t say the kiss was going to be. You just assumed that was what I was going to ask for when I won,” Cassian’s mouth twitched as he contained a triumphant grin. “But I did enjoy your lips on me.” _And I wouldn’t be opposed to them kissing other parts of my body._

“You-! You jerk! Why didn’t you stop me?” Nesta broke free of his arm and stood preparing for battle. Her fists clenched tightly at the thought of him tricking her.

“Because I didn’t want you to stop,” Cassian stated it as if it was the most obvious answer. “Besides you seemed pretty eager to kiss me earlier so you got your wish too.”

“My wish wasn’t going to be kissing you,” Nesta seethed in fury.

“Oh? Something _more_ than kissing then?” Cassian smirked.

“No! I would _never_ do that,” Nesta said with such force that Cassian’s smiled faded. Nesta assumed he thought it was an offense on his part. But that was far from it. She couldn’t see herself being intimate with anyone after that day Tomas had cornered her. The feel of his hands grabbing her made the Nesta’s skin crawl.

“I was just joking sweetheart,” Cassian’s humor vanished all together. “No need to make your distaste more evident.”

Nesta sighed. She didn’t want Cassian thinking this was his fault especially after the progress they made today about how he shouldn’t be suffering from misplaced blame.

“It’s not you Cassian-”

“Don’t tell me you’re pulling that line Nesta,” Cassian shook his head. He wasn't able to wrap his mind around the enigma of this steel pillar of a woman. One minute they had some sort of connection and the next she was severing it with her bladed words.

“Stop,” Nesta interrupted his thoughts. She stood rigid and stared him down. Her eyes a grey whirlwind spinning with so many thoughts that Cassian had difficulty reading. “Can you just trust me and believe when I say you’re not the reason why I don’t care to be in that…situation.”

Grey eyes clouded with past memories as she looked away. Nesta didn’t watch Cassian as she moved to her gym bag and put her gear away. She tried not to think about Tomas and how he shattered her views of ever trusting someone. Sure they were never intimate since Nesta was cautious in fully giving her trust to him, but a phantom pain lingered from those bruises on her arms reminding her what happened when you let someone get too close. _You get hurt._

Cassian watched Nesta place her gloves and headgear in the bag. He recalled their first training session and how closed off she became when they talked about her being with a lover. The tension and fear had radiated off her and Cassian knew that someone had hurt her to the point where she shielded herself behind all the walls she built.

If Nesta was willing to chase away his inner demons then he sure as hell could fight for her and make sure she knew that she didn't need to fear him.

“Nesta,” Cassian slowly approached. He couldn’t afford to startle her. Not now when they were reaching new heights to their trust. “Can I ask you something?”

“Don’t pry into my business,” Nesta took off her headgear and shoved it into the bag. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Ok we won’t talk about that.” _For now_ Cassian added silently. “There is this question I’ve been meaning to ask you for awhile.”

  Nesta stood up while shouldering her bag. She turned toward Cassian waiting for him to finish.

“There’s this party at Velaris at the beginning of next month,” Cassian began. “It’s a semi-formal kind of thing and employees are able to bring a guest with them to the event.” He paused wondering if he should blatantly come out with it.

Nesta raised a brow. “And this is leading where exactly?” She knew of the party. Feyre and Mor had been gushing about it for weeks now and already bought dresses for the event.

 _Oh fuck just say it already!_  Cassian inhaled deeply. “I was wondering if you would be by date for the party.”

Silence. Nesta blinked a few times. “Are you asking me out on a date to a work party?”

“It doesn’t have to be a date,” Cassian rushed. “You would be a guest of mine for the evening and we would pretty much drink champagne and talk with my employees and their guests. Or we could eat delicious food all night long. I would be happy with any option.” _So long as you’re there by my side._

“Is this your request for winning today?”

“No you can forget about that. I’m honestly asking you to join me.” Cassian would have loved to cash in his reward for winning the spar, but he valued Nesta’s true willingness to join him without some sort of debt lingering over her head.

Nesta debated the idea. She wasn’t too fond of large crowds and the thought of keeping up a conversation full of empty words didn’t sound appealing. Then again perhaps she should take the risk. Elain was always asking her to go out with friends either to bars or other locations for fun. Maybe this was Nesta’s chance to branch out and try something new for a change.

“Fine,” Nesta said leaving Cassian wide-eyed. He hadn’t imagined she would agree so quickly or at all.

“You’ll go with me?” Cassian asked making sure of her decision.

“Yes I’ll be there,” Nesta said. “Just let me know the time and place.”

“The event is two weeks from this upcoming Friday and it’s going to be in the Velaris banquet room,” Cassian answered immediately.  “I will text you more details, but don’t worry about reservations. I’ll make sure it’s all taken care.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Nesta gave him the faintest of smiles. “And thank you for sparring with me. Even though it took you forever to finally do it.”

“Anytime sweetheart,” Cassian returned the smile before she left to change. After she was gone Cassian had an extra bounce to his step when he went to the men’s changing room. He still could hardly believe she agreed to go to the party.

_And she’s going with me._

He was looking forward to the event. There was also the little fact that it would be the first time he would see Nesta in a dress. Granted he loved seeing her in gym shorts, but he was curious to see what Nesta would wear to the party. Cassian hoped he could have enough restraint like today. The temptation to kiss her when she was molded against him was staggering. Then her soft lips pressed against his cheeks and he knew at that moment he was done for.

_Slow and steady. Earn her trust and prove that you’re worthy enough to be something more._

Cassian was determined to dismantle the walls Nesta guarded herself with. Brick by brick he would patiently work with her until she not longer felt the need to hide behind her walls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	16. Sisterly Bond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This part of the chapter popped into my mind and I couldn’t resist the opportunity to add more of the frayed connection that Nesta has with Feyre. This chapter is about the huntress, her friend and sisters on the hunt…for a dress! And what is Nesta going to confess to Feyre about Cassian???

“What do you mean you don’t have a dress?!” Mor leapt off the couch in Nesta and Elain’s apartment. 

“I have dresses,” Nesta disagreed. 

“Summer dresses don’t count,” Feyre scrolled through her phone without looking up. 

“There is no way you are turning up in a summer dress,” Mor began pacing back and forth while Nesta and Elain sat watching her from their own seats in the living room.

“As if I would show up to a formal event in a casual dress,” Nesta rolled her eyes. At this rate she might do that if only to see Mor spontaneously combust at the sight.

“Where are we going to find a dress in such a short amount of time? We only have a week left and the holiday shoppers have probably scooped up all the best dresses!” Mor stopped her pacing and turned around to face Nesta. “Do not worry though. If it takes all week for us to find you a dress then I will not rest until we find the perfect one for you!”

“That’s thoughtful of you,” Elain said with a gentle smile. “I’m sure you’ll be able to find a dress if you’re helping with the search.”

“We can buy a simple one in the mall,” Nesta said taking a sip of tea. Her posture at ease and similar to that of a queen addressing a meager issue that was not of major importance compared to other things on her mind. She was more worried about the event itself rather than the dress. There was bound to be many people there most of whom were large business figures and could be a potential doorway into Nesta’s career path. A strategy was needed to face them and gain some sort of good mark on their memory once she graduated in the spring. It was hard to imagine she had one more semester left of school.

“That won’t do,” Mor mumbled. “You can’t show up wearing a dress from the prom section of an outlet store.”

Nesta opened her mouth to say something about Mor’s comment when Feyre stood up.

“I just found this boutique online that is open today,” Feyre said pocketing her phone. “We should head over there and see what we can find Nesta.”

“Right now?” Nesta turned incredulously toward her youngest sister.

“Yes! Let’s go now! The sooner the better!” Mor tugged both Elain and Nesta off the couch with surprising strength. It was easy to forget that the blonde beauty had much more than looks going for her. She was trained to fight since her teen years after being brought to her cousin’s home.

“I’m coming with you?” Elain asked excitedly. 

“Let’s make this a girl’s day,” Feyre said with a smile.

“It was already a girl’s day,” Nesta said being pulled to the door by Mor. 

“And now it’s a shopping day so let’s go and find you a dress,” Mor stopped by the door as everyone gathered their purses, coats and shoes. 

They locked the apartment and Mor drove them uptown to a shopping area in the northeastern part of the city. Feyre led the entourage to a white stone building with a sign in gold letters reading  _Solis Boutique_. Once inside a dark-skinned man wearing a pressed white shirt with golden buttons greeted them. 

“Welcome to my store young ladies,” the man walked toward them. “My name is Helion. Is there anything I can help you find today?”

“My sister needs a dress for a formal event next week and we were hoping you’re shop may have what we’re looking for,” Feyre answered.

“And your budget?” Helion asked looking at Nesta.

“The cheapest you are selling,” Nesta said, but Mor elbowed her lightly in the stomach.

“Let us look around and we will get back to you once we have found a dress to her liking,” Mor said.

Helion nodded and directed the women to the area holding dresses that would be their best options for the event.

All four girls scoured the dresses with mixed levels of excitement. Mor was happily going through the racks and pulling dress after dress off to be taken to a changing room. Elain was intrigued by the dresses with chiffon, but knew Nesta wouldn’t prefer that style. Instead Elain walked to the area where Feyre was currently sifting through and each pulled a dress for their sister to try on. Nesta on the other hand hadn’t even found one yet that she wanted to take back with her to change. 

“Just try on the ones we already put back in a room and see if you like any of them,” Feyre said when she noticed Nesta kept eyeing the door as if plotting to escape. 

“Fine, but don’t get your hopes up,” Nesta walked to the changing room and startled by the amount of fabric that greeted her.

“How many dresses did you put in here?” Nesta asked and looked pointedly at Mor. She saw Mor walk back here twice with an armful of dresses earlier.

“It doesn’t matter how many so long you find at least one that works with you,” Mor said innocently. 

Nesta groaned and shut the wooden changing room door. She looked over the dresses and decidedly took out ones she already knew she wouldn’t like. All the short dresses were hung to the discard rack along with bright colors ranging such as pink.

That only left seven dresses to try on. After slipping in and out of each one Nesta was exhausted and firmly was against these dresses. They either didn’t look good on her frame or she didn’t feel comfortable wearing them. 

“Nesta is everything okay in there?” Elain asked from the other side of the door.

“None of these dresses are going to work out,” Nesta replied. 

 “You already tried them on?” Feyre questioned.

“Why didn’t you let us see them first?” Mor’s disappointed tone made Nesta almost regret not showing them, but then again she didn’t feel the urge to waltz around in a dress that didn’t sit right with her.

“Hang on second,” Nesta brought out an armful of dresses and handed them to Mor. “Can you put those back considering you’re the one that grabbed them all?”

“Sure and I’ll keep looking for a dress that you might like better than these ones.”

“Not pink! There were way too many pink dresses to begin with and I’m don’t want a dress that will make me look like a cupcake.”

“Afraid Cassian may take a bite of you?” Feyre asked with a teasing smile.

“Don’t even go there,” Nesta hefted another armful of dresses which Feyre took from her hands. “Cassian doesn’t need another reason to give me a hard time.”

“You know,” Feyre began. “Cassian means well and wants to be your friend.”  _And more if only you could see it Nesta._  “Just give him a chance to show you that he cares and he’s not some brute like you used to call him.”

Nesta was silent. “I think we are friends, but at times…I don’t know it feels weird.”

“What do you mean?” Elain asked.

Nesta shook her head. “I can’t believe I’m having this conversation right now,” she mumbled.

“Well? What kind of conversation are we having?” Feyre hoped that Nesta would open up and they could finally begin to connect on a deeper level. Sure the three sisters met up for weekly dinners on occasion, but it had been years since Nesta opened up to any of them with personal problems that had been plaguing. Hell Feyre still wondered about the Tomas situation, but Nesta refused to budge on giving any information.

“Sometimes I wonder if Cassian actually likes me,” Nesta admitted.

“Of course he likes you!” Elain exclaimed then immediately dropped down to a whisper. “Sorry, but the way he acts doesn’t make it seem otherwise. He adopted Blaze, helps you with boxing, you go on doggy play dates together and he invited you to this party. I think it’s safe to say he is your friend.”

“I mean he might  _like_  me, as in- Oh never mind!” Nesta started putting away dresses with force. “I’m just seeing way too much into things not there.”

Elain looked worriedly at her older sister, but Feyre motioned to her, signaling that Feyre would handle it. Elain nodded and went to help Mor put away the rest of the dresses before looking for a different dress.

Feyre paused until she and Nesta were alone before approaching her sister.

“Nesta wait,” Feyre placed a hand on Nesta’s shoulder that was tense and frozen at Feyre’s touch. “Do you think Cassian loves you?”

Nesta’s eyes darted to her sister and back to the glittering fabric clenched in her fists. She said nothing for a stretch of time as she retreated back behind her inner walls.

“You can trust me,” Feyre said hoping that her sister would open up.

After a few seconds Nesta hefted a sigh. “There are moments when I think he does,” Nest said softly not wanting to be overheard by anyone else. “Cassian somehow knows what to say and do to make me feel-” Nesta stopped herself.

“Do you love him?” Feyre asked.

Nesta whipped her head to look at her sister. She never thought the sentiment of love would be affiliated with herself. Sure Nesta loved her sisters in different ways, but the idea of Nesta loving someone else was hard to comprehend. Nesta didn’t believe she could ever love someone to that degree. Not after all the males in her life had a bad influence on the idea. Her father didn’t help support and raise them while Tomas sullied the thought of a man ever trying to touch her again.

All those thoughts crashed into Nesta’s walls and her emotions began to leak through the cracks. “I wish I couldn’t feel a damn thing,” Nesta’s hollow voice echoed with regret. “I wish that this…whatever this is between me and Cassian didn’t follow me every single day.”

“What do you mean?”

“Lately I’ve been thinking about all these little details and wondering if Cassian does love me. Sometimes wondering what he’s doing at a random moment while I’m at work or walking home from class. And then I wish I could be there with him.” Nesta added quietly. 

“You  _do_  love him.” Feyre’s shocked tone was barely concealed as she watched her older sister put away the dress in her hands. “Nesta you should tell Cassian your feelings.”

“But I don’t know if I can,” Nesta ran a hand through her hair in a frustrated motion. “Besides we both know that girls flock to him and that if it came down to it he would pick someone that would be better suited for him.”

“And you think you’re not?” Feyre had seen the connection that could easily form between Nesta and Cassian. Sure they argued and they were at each other’s throats in the beginning, but now there was this strong bond between them. If only Nesta could see that.

“You and I both know that Cassian is funny and strong and too kind for his own good. He would be happier with someone who could match him.” Nesta looked at Feyre daring her sister to contradict the statement. 

“From what I see you match him better than anyone else,” Feyre said. “Each day you challenge him and keep him on his toes. You don’t let his cocky attitude get in the way of seeing what he needs whether that be a putting him in his place or offering support.”

“He deserves better,” Nesta spoke firmly causing Feyre to look at her in understanding. Feyre too had thought she didn’t deserve Rhys, but then she realized something that she felt the need to tell Nesta now.

“You’re right,” Feyre admitted and Nesta slightly winced at the words as they struck her like a barb. “But that’s the thing. You make him happier and you’ve given him so much more than anyone else has-”

“No,” Nesta interrupted. “He’s the one that has given me so much. Cassian has trained me, adopted Blaze and he still sticks around despite an attitude that I know has pushed others away.”

“Nesta you’ve defended him and have made an impact in his life too,” Feyre added. _If only you could hear how he talks about you. How he obviously loves you._

“That is what any decent person would do,” Nesta countered.

“Yet you were the first person to call out the problem with his friends. Nesta you and Cassian deserve better, but you both make each other better. You’re perfect together.”

“I don’t know if I can ever give Cassian the love he needs though. Feyre if you knew what Tomas did-”

“Look what Elain and I found!” Mor said holding up a grey silk dress with intricate lace and beading. 

Nesta glanced at Feyre and quickly approached Mor and Elain who were excitedly explaining how they thought this dress was lovely. Feyre watched her oldest sister closely as she talked with Mor and began walking back to the changing room.  _What was Nesta going to say before Mor called out to them? What did Tomas do that rattled Nesta so much that she felt that love was an incapable thing she could provide?_

“Feyre are you coming?” Elain asked causing Nesta to glance back. Her slate eyes empty of the feelings that was there only moments ago, but Feyre could see that Nesta had a faint pleading gaze. For now Feyre would let this conversation go, but she was determined to get to the bottom of it. Though she feared that her original thoughts of Tomas and Nesta’s breakup were true. What if Tomas hurt her like his father did to his own wife? Or stars forbid something worse.

“I’m right behind you,” Feyre said looking straight at Nesta. They made their way to the changing room where Nesta walked while the others waited.

“Be sure to let us see it on you Nesta,” Mor said who earned a few mumbled words in response. 

After a bit of shuffling came from inside the changing area before the door opened and Nesta walked out wearing a dress that made her look like a hardened queen ready for battle. It was perfect.

“Nesta it’s beautiful! You’re beautiful – I mean you’re always beautiful, but this is something else all together,” Elain smiled and hurried to her sister for a closer look. 

“I usually prefer bold colors for formal wear, but I this is definitely an exception,” Mor said as she evaluated the beadwork and tight lace sleeves that went down to Nesta’s wrist.

The dress was long with sheer lace draped down her long legs over a short dark hem skirt that ended at her mid-thighs. It was revealing enough to draw attention, but the dark lace made the gown modest enough for Nesta who was uncomfortable showing off too much skin. Beadwork was sewn down the cleavage line and carried on across the bust area until reaching the mid-thigh. Nesta smoothed the metal grey silk slash that banded her waist and trailed flowingly along the long lace to the floor.

“It’s wonderful,” Nesta said in awe and spun slowly to get a feel of the dress as she moved.

“So this is the dress?” Feyre asked.

Nesta paused to look at the price tag.

“Don’t worry about it,” More said quickly. “It’s worth the cost.”

Nesta frowned when she finally saw the price. “I can’t spend this much money on a dress I’ll only wear once.”

“You can save it. I’m sure Cassian will invite you to more events in the future,” Feyre said with a knowing look at her sister who glared in response.

“I’m not joking-” Nesta began to argue when Helion arrived.

“You found a dress I see. It looks quite lovely on you dear,” Helion smiled.

“Helion we’ll be using my discount today if you don’t mind ringing it up,” Feyre said.

“Feyre I can’t possibly let you do this,” Nesta said refusing to let her sister try to pay for the dress.

“Don’t worry, I am a frequent customer and that means I get discounts when I put purchases under my name. You can pay me the remaining price after the discount is applied.”

“I doubt a discount will be enough,” Nesta said before turning back into the changing room and removing the dress.

In the meantime Helion rang up the dress on the register and informed Feyre and the others of the new price. Nesta’s head jerked out of the door as she heard the considerably lower price.

“Are you joking?” Nesta questioned unbelieving of what he said.

“I do not joke around miss, now would you like that packaged and delivered?”

“That’s all right we drove today so we will be taking the dress with us,” Mor said pulling out her set of car keys. 

“Very well I’ll take the dress with me so I can place it in a bag and we can finalize the sale,” Helion walked to the changing room where Nesta stepped out in her regular clothes and handed him the dress.

“Are you sure that was the price and you’re not mistaken?” Nesta glanced at Feyre wondering what sort of discount she had that enabled her to get hundreds of dollars off a dress.

“I’m positive now if you follow me we will go to the register.” Helion led the small group to the registers where he completed the sale and delicately handed Nesta her new dress in a long dark protective bag with the store’s logo on it. 

“Thank you Helion!” Feyre said with a wave as the girls left the store with the new purchase. 

“Let’s go get some jewelry and new shoes to go with the dress,” Mor said excitedly listing off places while Elain chatted with her about a few vintage boutiques that would be good to visit.

Nesta and Feyre hung back as they walked down the sidewalk leading to the parking garage. “You didn’t need to do that,” Nesta said suddenly. “Using your magical discount which I still don’t think is quite true.”

“Believe me Nesta I do have a discount considering I helped Helion out of a bind months ago,” Feyre briefly explained. “His two kids went to school with us and let’s just say they were on the brunt end of Amarantha’s tirade before the whole incident.”

The incident being Feyre exposing the university’s president and being the cause of Amarantha’s ‘reign’ ending at Prythian University or at any school in general.

"You’ve already done enough though Feyre,” Nesta turned to her sister. “Ever since we were kids you were always going above and beyond to help Elain and I when it should have been us pulling the weight.”

Feyre shook her head. “Honestly Nesta it prepared me for what was to come in the future. Without everything that happened we might not be here now and I probably never would have met Rhys. If I had to do it all over again I would.”

The sisters walked silently as they watched Mor and Elain chattering up ahead. Finally Nesta sighed and looked back to her sister. Grey eyes meeting matching grey ones. The same color their mother’s eyes were before she was gone.

“Thank you Feyre,” Nesta gave her the faintest of smiles with eyes that shimmered with sincerity. “For everything. And I’m sorry I wasn’t the sister you needed growing up.”

Feyre nodded. “I forgive you and thank you for being here with me now Nesta.”

And for perhaps the first time in their lives the youngest and eldest Archeron sisters strode in tune with one another. Finally having a better understanding and loving each other for those differences that made them come to this point in their lives. 

Nesta took a deep breath of city air and felt like she was at ease with her sister’s warmth walking beside her and the forgiveness that she never thought she would ever deserve or receive. Today was one of the brightest days in Nesta’s existence as she moved forward in her life full of new beginnings and bonds she was excited to experience.


	17. Shooting Star Wishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta and Cassian join in the the formal festivity at Velaris with an evening filled with laughter, dancing and a wish at the end of the night that brings them closer together.

The party at Velaris started almost thirty minutes ago yet Cassian lingered by the entrance to the banquet room. Guests and fellow co-workers greeted him warmly since he was a familiar face in the building as head of security.

Cassian welcomed each of them until a hand on his shoulder made him turn. Azriel stood there in a dark suit with a cobalt blue tie.

“Don’t you know that today you’re not supposed to be working?” Azriel joked. “Why are you manning the door?”

“I figured that all those in attendance should be welcomed by the most charming man in the building,” Cassian grinned.

“Or perhaps you’re wanting to welcome someone in particular,” Azriel gave Cassian a knowing look. They had been friends for most of their life and Azriel could tell when Cassian had something, or in this case someone, on his mind.

“Are you going to shadow me all night Azriel?” Cassian glanced at the door again as more people walked in. None of them who Cassian was waiting for.

“Perhaps I will if it means I get to see you act so nervous,” Azriel teased.

“I’m not nervous,” Cassian denied only to be met with one of Azriel’s unbelieving looks. “Fine. I’m a  _little_  nervous, but only because this tie is agitating.” Cassian loosened the tie in an effort to ease is discomfort. It didn’t work considering it was his nerves that were on edge.

“It’s hard to believe, but I suppose even the ‘Casanova’ can fall so hard for someone that he can’t escape the clutches of pre-date anxiety.”

Cassian was about to make a retort when Azriel nodded back to the entrance. Cassian turned to look and was greeted by a sight that made his heart stutter. Nesta approached them confidently with her head held high. She wore a slate grey gown made of silk that hugged her curves enough that Cassian fought with himself not to keep his stare lingering in too many places. Lace sleeves clung tightly to her arms in a similar fashion as Feyre’s tattoo. The lacework followed down her form and legs leading Cassian stunned by the sight of her skin that appeared under the dark sheer fabric.

Azriel nudged him lightly breaking Cassian’s gawking look as Nesta neared with Mor and Feyre in tow. Cassian had been so distracted by the sight of Nesta that he failed to notice his two friends approach them as well.

“You boys waiting for someone?” Mor put a hand on her waist and rested it against the ruby fabric of her dress. “Or are you on duty tonight?”

“We’re never off duty when a troublemaker such as yourself is around,” Cassian joked and gave his friend a toothy grin.

“Do you plan on locking us up in the dungeon?” Feyre laughed. “Considering how big this place is you still can’t convince me that you have one around here for people who misbehave.”

“You hear that Nesta?” Mor faked a whisper, but everyone in the group could here. “Better be on your best behavior or Cassian may take you away and we’ll never see you again.”

A small flush formed on Nesta’s cheeks. “I wouldn’t worry about that.”

Azriel noted the uncomfortable note in Nesta’s voice and easily sidled up next to Mor with his elbow offered to her. “May I escort you in Mor?”

“Such a gentleman,” Mor smiled. “I’d be honored Azriel.” The two left to go inside as Mor gave a parting wave.

“I better go find Rhysand and make sure he’s actually in the party instead of his office,” Feyre made quick work to give Nesta and Cassian privacy.

Once Cassian and Nesta were alone there was a brief moment in which Nesta thought they would be left to an awkward silence, but Cassian was quick to fill the void.

“Are you ready to go inside?”

“I am when you are,” Nesta responded. She assumed they would simply walk in, but Cassian offered his arm to her. His hazel eyes curious as to whether or not she would accept the gesture.

Slowly Nesta reached out and looped her arm in his. She felt his muscles move under her hand and his black suit.

“Just stick with me and we’ll survive the night,” Cassian whispered conspiratorially to her. “Perhaps we may even make it out of here with some extra little appetizers they are serving.”

“They can’t be as good as your cooking,” Nesta said without thinking. She resisted the urge to bite her lip at the escaped words. With a glance she saw that Cassian’s face had lit up proudly.

“You’re right, but that doesn’t mean we can’t humor the catering service,” Cassian walked forward with Nesta and they entered a large room decorated in black, silver and gold. It was a stunning sight to see the decorations and people dressed for the occasion. It made Nesta think that this is what a fairytale ball must have looked like if such a thing existed outside of storybooks.

“What do you think?” Cassian questioned as they made their way to a few tables along the far wall.

“Honestly it feels unreal. Like I just stepped into Cinderella’s ball.”

“Then let’s not lose any clothing before midnight,” Cassian chuckled. “But I’m not going to lie. I may take off this damned tie before the night is over or else you may have to drag my body out of here.”

They stopped at a table that had their names written on placeholder cards. Mor, Azriel, Rhysand and Feyre’s names were also at the table.

“Do you want to sit and enjoy the peace before others arrive?” Cassian pulled out her seat which she gladly accepted. He then situated himself in the chair next to hers.

“How often does Velaris have these kind of parties?” Nesta glanced around still in awe of the sight.

“Usually around the major holidays and during the business anniversary,” Cassian leaned forward to grab the water pitcher and two glasses. “This party is mostly to invite many other businesses from out of the country. Granted you may recognize some of the business people here from Prythian alone.”

Nesta accepted the glass Cassian handed to her which was now filled with cool ice water. She took a steady sip as she continued to watch the other people filing into the room. At that moment she noticed a familiar face step into her line of sight.

“Is that  _the_  Tarquin of Aqua Mission?” Nesta tried to catch sight of the mahogany colored man with pale hair.

“Who,” Cassian leaned closer to her to get a better look. His shoulder brushed against hers, but Nesta didn’t push him away. “Oh I see him and it looks like his partners from Adriata Energy are with him.”

“You mean the siblings Cresseida and Varian?” Nesta noticed the brother and sister standing beside Tarquin. She should have guessed that Tarquin would be here with his top business partners. Adriata Energy had headquarters off in the far coast, but Aqua Mission was stationed in Prythian. Both companies were known globally as being toward the top of clean energy providers. Water and wind were the main resources that they used, but recently Velaris had joined them in a venture to expand on wind power.

“Do you want to speak with them?” Cassian took a drink of his water as Nesta turned to him.

“Them?” She asked in disbelief.

Cassian let out a small laugh. “Yes them. I can introduce you so it won’t be awkward.”

“That would be fantastic,” Nesta stood up in eagerness. Here was her first shot of getting her foot in the business door. She couldn’t afford to mess this up, but luckily Cassian and his charm were here to help break the ice. Granted there was no way in hell she would admit that Cassian’s charismatic personality was helping alleviate her stress, but it came close enough.

Cassian adjusted his suit and led the way to the three guests. As they got closer Nesta could see the shocked expressions on each of their faces. For a frightening second Nesta thought that perhaps she spilled water on her dress or some other distracting cause for their peculiar looks. But it became clear that their sights were set on Cassian.

“Hello guests,” Cassian greeted warmly. “May I introduce you to my companion?” Cassian gestured Nesta closer. “Tarquin, Cresseida and Varian please meet Nesta. Nesta you already know these three well enough from the way you recognized them earlier.”

“It’s wonderful to meet you,” Nesta said with honesty and stretched her hand to shake Varian’s, but instead the man kept his gaze remained on Cassian.

“I’m not sure that the pleasantries can be reciprocated,” Cresseida eyed Cassian with minimally contained disdain.

Nesta awkwardly pulled her hand back.  _What was this about?_

“You still aren’t mad about that building are you?” Cassian looked at the trio. “Accidents happen-”

“Not all accidents result in the wreckage of one of our latest water powered buildings,” Varian stiffly interrupted.

“But we paid the damages in full,” Cassian reasoned with an innocent smile still in place.

At this point Nesta felt the sudden urge to pull Cassian away and never look back. This introduction was going downhill at an alarming rate.

Nesta placed a hand on Cassian’s elbow before turning her gaze to the others with the intention of parting ways. Tarquin’s bright blue eyes flicked to Nesta’s hand before returning to her gaze with a questioning look. Varian noticed as well before turning his attention to Nesta.

“You don’t look like one of Cassian’s usual ladies,” Varian commented. “Although that hasn’t stopped him before.”

Nesta sucked in a breath as Cassian stiffened under her hand. He crossed his arms in a commanding stance facing down Varian. Tension radiated off the two men who were sizing each other up. Cassian was slightly taller than Varian, but it was clear that a match between the two of them would result in brawl of damaging proportions.

“You’re right,” Nesta broke the tension. She stepped forward an inch in front of Cassian and looked up at Varian who stood rigid in his stare down against Cassian. “I’m not usual in the slightest.”

Varian glanced down at her words. Waiting for her to continue so he could get back to his male ego battle with Cassian.

“You see Varian,” Nesta stepped closer making Varian narrow his eyes in confusion. “I don’t let men insult me. I don’t let them fight my battles.” Another step closer. “And I do not allow  _anyone_  to insult the people I care for.” Nesta shot a pointed look at Cresseida before returning her steely glare back to Varian.

The dark skinned man regarded her for seconds and a corner of his cheek raised in a half-smile.

“Well then. I’m glad to see you’re not just a pretty face,” Varian nodded at Cassian. “My apologies for my words.”

“Nothing a drink won’t fix,” Cassian replied and wrapped his arm around Nesta’s waist when he approached. “Why don’t we get a few glasses of champagne to relax?”

“That sounds like the best thing you’ve said yet,” Cresseida grumbled before following her brother to the beverage table.

“Don’t take it personally,” Tarquin’s voice spoke for the first time. “They’re just flustered from the plane ride they took a couple hours ago. They’ll be fine once they wind down after a bit of alcohol.”

“And I hope you’re still not upset about the building,” Cassian said.

Tarquin gave a faint smile. “You’ve apologized for it and all is well now. No need to linger on the past.” Tarquin looked between Nesta and Cassian. “It’s better to focus on the future instead wouldn’t you agree?”

“I knew there was a reason Feyre liked you,” Cassian grinned.

Tarquin’s smile became broader. “Feyre is a wonderful character. I’m glad that I can consider her my friend.”

Nesta was silent as she thought this over. Feyre, who used to loathe interacting with others, was now well-loved and admired by many. It was hard to believe that years ago Feyre was the lone wolf type.

“Nesta?” Cassian loosened his grip on her waist.

“Yes?” Nesta looked up at Cassian who was evaluating her. His eyes searching for something in her own.

“Would you like a drink?” Cassian repeated his question and motioned his head to where Tarquin was grabbing his own drink with Cresseida and Varian.

“Sure I wouldn’t mind,” Nesta walked to the table and grabbed a flute of champagne. She was about to hand one to Cassian when he held his hand up in refusal.

“No drinking for me tonight,” Cassian said. “Can’t say I’m a champagne kind of man.”

“That’s right you prefer beer if I recall during our first meeting,” Nesta commented.

“You remembered?” It had been a little over six months since that fateful day he first saw Nesta in the bar.

“How could I forget?” Nesta smirked before taking a sip of her champagne. “Apparently I was in the presence of the ‘most handsome man in the bar’.”

“That title still stands true here,” Cassian smiled and exaggeratedly examined the room. “Yep, definitely the most handsome. And you know what? I’ve still found the most charming woman to spend my evening with.”

Nesta released a heartening laugh that left Cassian in awe.

“I never thought I would hear Nesta laugh like that,” Feyre approached with Rhysand beside her. They matched each other’s gait and their formal attire was perfectly matched for the occasion. Feyre and Rhys strode confidently and exuded elegance with strength.

“Very funny,” Nesta turned to her sister as the two pairs greeted each other.

“Why don’t we take a seat at the table,” Rhys said. “Mor and Azriel should be there waiting for us and they’ll be serving food soon.”

At Rhysand’s words a swarm of servers walked out with trays filled with foods. Most of the guests had already sat down at their tables waiting for food to be delivered.

Anyone that had yet to be seated took that as their sign to find their chairs. Nesta and Cassian returned to their table with Rhys and Feyre. Throughout the meal everyone at the table talked happily about topics other than business. Cassian and Rhys were discussing plans about a trip to the cabin with other members of the inner circle. Azriel was mostly silent, but Mor did most of the talking and kept the conversation lively.

A few times during dinner Nesta’s elbow would accidently brush Cassian’s, but his only reaction was a slight upturn of a smile at the contact.

After a couple hours into the party and talking with a few business personnel that Rhysand introduced at the table it was draining Nesta to talk with people who were more intent on getting something out of Rhysand. She had no idea how he could stand the fake smiles of those that simply saw him as a means to an end. If Nesta had it her way she hoped she could be in a business that valued their workers, employees and partners the way Rhysand did for his.

Music had been playing for the past hour before Feyre stood up and excused herself and Rhysand for some quality time on the dance floor. Rhysand was quick to take her up on the offer seeing as it would be a reprieve from business talk.

Mor walked up to Cassian with Azriel standing beside her. “Cassian why don’t you join us for a dance?”

Cassian looked ready to dance, but cast a furtive glance at Nesta.

“Go on,” Nesta motioned. She wasn’t one for dancing, but she could see that Cassian wanted to be with his friends on the floor. “I’m going to finish my drink here.” Nesta said taking a small sip from her water. She already drank one flute of champagne, but had no intention of consuming more alcohol that night.

“Are you sure?” Cassian asked. He looked at the dance floor and back at her weighing some decision in his mind.

“Positive,” Nesta gave his arm a slight shove. “Go out there and let’s see your moves.”

Slowly Cassian rose and let Mor pull him and Azriel away when a fast-paced song started playing. From where Nesta sat she could see everyone on the dance floor. It was easy to spot Azriel and Cassian dancing with the Mor. They stood out not just because of their stunning looks, but they danced in a memorizing way. The trio was in-synch and moved around each other in turns and laughter. It was clear that the friends were extremely close as they danced in a world of their own.

Nesta smiled at the sight and felt a pang of longing. She wondered what it must be like to have friends that interacted so freely around each other without the fear that they would be judged against their flaws.

_What would it be like for someone to gladly accept me even with my faults? Someone who knew the side that hid in shadows behind walls that kept my emotions locked inside?_

Cassian spun and his eye caught Nesta. He waved and beckoned her forward to join him.

Nesta’s heart soared at the invitation. For one crazy moment so unlike herself, Nesta began to stand to join him among the crowd. The moment was shattered when a woman cut between their view and danced with Cassian. His attention was diverted to greeting the woman who he must have known. He laughed at something she said and Nesta could hear it from where she was halfway standing out of her seat.

Her stomach plummeted and her blood turned to ice. She decided not to awkwardly sit down after having already raised herself off her chair. Instead she made her way to the refreshment table. Maybe she would have one more glass of champagne to take this edge off. Perhaps it would drown these overwhelming feelings enough that she could breathe without them pressing down on her.

“Nesta?” Tarquin was seated at his table Nesta almost passed by without noticing. “Why are you not out on the dance floor?”

“I don’t dance,” Nesta stiffly spoke without looking back to the place where Cassian was more than likely dancing with that woman.

“At least I’m not the only one,” Tarquin nodded to where his companions were enjoying themselves on the dance floor near the band. “Dancing is not my best quality.”

“There are more important things than dancing,” Nesta said.

“And what do you think is more important?” Tarquin pulled out a chair for her to sit beside him. “Why don’t we enjoy each other’s company for a moment before our companions come looking for us.”

Nesta doubted that her date would come for her anytime soon considering he was otherwise occupied. She took the seat so her back was slightly turned from the dance floor. She didn’t want to watch Cassian dancing with someone else when it should have been her if she had worked up the nerve to move sooner.

“For one thing I think determining someone’s capabilities should not be judged solely on our ability to dance. Or lack thereof.”

“You feel like you’re being judged, because you don’t know how to do the Cha Cha Slide?” Tarquin cocked is head in confusion, but his bright blue eyes held humor.

Nesta chuckled. “Not necessarily, but people gravitate to those who are able to go out there without fear of feeling misplaced in the crowd.”

“That’s true,” Tarquin considered. “I’ve had my fair share of feeling out of place many times.”

“You? The man who has expanded green energy studies and put them into practice?” Nesta shook her head in disbelief. “I always imagined you were at ease with so many others since you helped bridge the gap of giving people renewable energy regardless of their backgrounds. You’re one of the largest supporters of equality around the globe. Everyone looks up to you, or at least I think they should with all your ideals.”

“That’s extremely kind of you to say,” Tarquin slightly blushed beneath his skin. “You Archerons sure know what to say to make me feel at ease with the stress of my position.”

Nesta looked away feeling odd at being compared to Feyre. She felt undeserving of the consideration.

“You shouldn’t be worried about how others see you,” Nesta added. “You’re a good man Tarquin. And it’s an honor to meet you.”

“And it’s been an honor meeting you as well Nesta,” Tarquin smiled. “Perhaps if anything tonight we can at least enjoy that we do  _not_  Cha Cha Slide. I fear my feet would be the cause of me sliding across the floor on my face since I have two left feet.”

Nesta tried to hold in her laughter, but it burst out at the image he just brought forth in her mind. Tarquin laughed with her until he looked up and saw something that made his laughter slowly fizzle out.

Tarquin leaned in a few inches and Nesta’s laughter ceased. “I think your man is considering either throwing me out of the building or throwing you over his shoulders,” Tarquin whispered.

Nesta refused to turn around. The only person it could be was Cassian and she couldn’t imagine him having such a barbaric reaction. At least not in front of a crowd. She knew Cassian was quick to jump into battle based on how he defended her against Devlon. Right now though she was simply having a conversation with Tarquin.

“You must be mistaken,” Nesta said and Tarquin leaned back to his original position. “Cassian isn’t  _my_  man.”

“You could have fooled me. Though perhaps I should clarify with the man himself.”

Nesta narrowed her eyes in confusion when Tarquin nodded behind her. Nesta turned and saw Cassian walking toward them. His eyes were set firmly on her at his approach.

“Are you already done dancing?” Nesta questioned when Cassian was close enough. She looked around his body and saw that Mor and Azriel were still on the dance floor. The woman who was previously dancing with Cassian was nowhere in sight.

Cassian shrugged. “Thought I would join you and rest for a moment.” He rested his hand on the back of Nesta’s chair before his eyes drifted to where Tarquin sat. “Are you enjoying the party Tarquin?”

“With Nesta as company it has been pleasurable,” Tarquin smiled and gave Nesta a conspiratorial look. There was nothing wrong with the words, but Nesta could feel Cassian stiffen beside her.

“The pleasure has been mine,” Nesta said. “I’m glad we had a moment to talk, even if it was about our lack of dancing skills.”

“I could teach you some moves,” Cassian looked down at Nesta and waggled his brows. “That is if you’re up for the challenge.”

“First boxing now dancing,” Nesta turned more fully to face Cassian and her shoulder brushed his resting hand on the chair. “Is there something you  _don’t_  train in?” Her teasing smile softened Cassian’s posture as he regarded her.

“I’m a man of many talents,” Cassian said with broad grin.

“It’s been wonderful talking with you Nesta, but perhaps you should join Cassian for a dance,” Tarquin stood from the table. “He seems eager to steal your company back.” As Tarquin left he gave them each a pointed look before striding to the refreshment table where a few of his companions lingered.

“What was that about?” Nesta stared at Tarquin’s retreating figure.

“He knows when his presence is needed elsewhere,” Cassian directed his attention at Nesta. “And he understands when another person wants to spend quality time with their date.”

“So you used that male ego of yours to get a point across?” Nesta stood up to be on a better level. “I figured you already delivered your point across when you wanted to dance with other people instead. I was just going to get a drink when Tarquin and I decided to chat.”

“I wanted to dance with you Nesta,” Cassian adjusted his tie again as if the words lodged in his throat was making it hard to breathe. “But you walked away instead.”

“Only because you quickly found someone else,” Nesta countered.

“You mean Cerridwen? She is a co-worker and friend. Nothing more.”

Nesta searched Cassian’s face, but realized she had no right to be looking for some hidden lie. They weren’t dating so why was Nesta acting like a jealous girlfriend?

“I don’t care what she is to you,” Nesta said instead smothering her emotions to the best of her ability. “You can dance with anyone you like, but I won’t go out in a crowd where I am not needed or wanted.”

“Then perhaps you misunderstood,” Cassian took her hand and encased it with his warm calloused one. “I do want to dance with you and I need you to enjoy your time tonight.”

“You need me to enjoy the party?”

“I need to know you’re happy to be here. With me.” Cassian admitted softly. “But if you like everything else about the party then we can consider that an extra perk.”

Nesta was silent as his words reverberated in her mind and the heat of his hand tethered her to the present.

She swallowed before speaking in an effort to gain a last bit of courage. “Then I expect the same from you as well.”

Cassian’s eyes widened a fraction before his expression brightened. “I would be honored to share this dance with you my lady.”

When they entered the floor the band started playing a slower song than the usual upbeat ones. It wasn’t a lulling type of slow, but it was evident that only couples were going to be dancing to this song.

Instinctively Nesta placed her hand on Cassian’s shoulder while her other remained linked with his. Cassian’s free hand wrapped around her waist and settled on the small of her back.

“Hopefully I don’t embarrass us too much with my horrible steps,” Nesta said.

“Don’t worry about them,” Cassian said. “Just focus on us and enjoy the moment of being in my arms.” Cassian winked at her and Nesta rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

“Your arms better keep firmly planted where they are,” Nesta raised a brow and Cassian dared to move his hand down an inch. The movement made Nesta narrow her eyes in warning and Cassian chuckled as he returned the hand back up. As they swayed to the calming notes of the guitar and singer Cassian’s thumb made circling motions on Nesta’s back. She could faintly feel it through her dress, but it was there nonetheless.

“You rubbing my back is going to put me asleep,” Nesta watched the other swaying couples and saw Feyre and Rhysand in the distance in their own little world.

“I’d catch you if that was the case,” Cassian whispered. “So long as you promise not to tell anyone you only fell asleep because I was boring you.”

“You are the least boring person I know,” Nesta matched his tone “But it’s good to know you won’t let me drop to the floor regardless.”

 Without second guessing herself Nesta rested her head just below Cassian’s shoulder. Silence greeted her action so she took it as a good sign that Cassian wasn’t going to object to her closeness. Her thoughts focused on the warmth his body radiated as they swayed to the music.

Cassian looked down as he felt Nesta relax against him. Nesta had styled her golden brown hair in curls that draped across her shoulders. Cassian had the urge to run his hands through them to feel the soft strands brush his fingers. Oddly enough he wanted to muss her hair into something a bit more untamed that seemed to suit her spirit.

His hand tightened around Nesta’s as the song hit the final note. Cassian didn’t want to let go of this moment and held on tighter still as people began clapping for the band’s performance.

Nesta lifted her head and looked around noticing that the song had ended. “Do you want to get a drink?” Nesta broke the silence between her and Cassian.

With a nod he agreed and led Nesta off the dance floor. They were soon joined by Rhysand and Feyre who glowed with happiness.

“Nesta I didn’t know you could dance,” Feyre nudged her sister.

“It helps when you have a great partner,” Nesta glanced at Cassian out of the corner of her eye.

“Perhaps you and I should have a dance later,” Rhysand grinned all the while baiting Cassian.

“Don’t be trying to steal away my date when you have Feyre,” Cassian stepped closer to Nesta and his carefree tone was laced with an undertone that Rhysand caught. “I thoroughly plan on keeping Nesta all to myself.”

“That’s if I can bear to be smothered by your ego,” Nesta teased.

“You know you love my big ego,” Cassian’s face lit up with that well-known cocky smile.

“Better watch out Rhys,” Feyre said. “Looks like Cassian is fighting for top spot on biggest male ego.”

“You wound me Feyre darling,” Rhysand gave his girlfriend a kiss on the top of her head. “How are you going to heal my poor offended heart?”

“Maybe Cassian can kiss it better,” Nesta joked leading her and Feyre to laugh as Cassian and Rhysand bantered back and forth about whose ego was wounded the most.

The night passed on with Nesta enjoying herself with the company of people she was beginning to see on a new level. Seeing Feyre and the others interact at the table while including Nesta in the conversations helped lift a weight off her shoulders. Nesta never imagined that interacting with others would relieve so much stress that she had become accustomed to.

As midnight neared Nesta knew that she should head back home and get rested up before she worked the next day. She announced this at the table and stood to make her departure.

“I still can’t believe they are making you work even after you requested off,” Mor grumbled. “The party isn’t even over yet.”

“Work is a lot more strict during this time of year so I can’t afford to step on the manager’s toes in any way unless I want a one way ticket of being fired,” Nesta explained. Feyre and Mor knew the situation with work, but the men at the table looked slightly confused.

“Sounds terrible if you ask me,” Azriel said. “Why not get hired elsewhere that doesn’t look to fire people at little things?”

“Because the job pays extremely well and works around my school schedule,” Nesta briefly hugged her sister goodbye along with Mor.

“Where is it you work again?” Rhysand questioned holding a glass full of champagne.

“The Rebelle restaurant in downtown,” Nesta answered.

“I know that place fairly well,” Rhysand hummed. “We have business dinners there from time to time.”

“Who knows? Maybe we will see you at work one of these days,” Cassian stood up and gave Nesta a quick wink.

“If you show up at work I imagine I’ll be fired after dumping a pitcher of water on you.”

“They should be thanking you then for cooling off this hot body,” Cassian motioned a hand do his chest causing Nesta’s eyes to roam down his form.

Well he wasn’t wrong about his body. And that suit of his wasn’t helping Nesta cool off the sudden heat that pooled in her stomach.

“Is it warm in here or is someone’s hotheadedness making the air stuffy?” Mor fanned herself as Feyre chuckled.

“Lucky for you that I’m leaving so you all don’t combust from this hotness,” Cassian made is way to where Nesta stood. “Feel free to watch my ass leave if you still need to get your fill.”

“That ass of yours better get moving before I deduct from your payroll for all this indecent behavior,” Rhys jested and laughed with Cassian.

“Feyre how can you let your man treat me like that,” Cassian fake pouted.

“Don’t worry Cassian I’ll be sure to make sure a certain boss pays for his words,” Feyre grinned at Rhysand who took a sip of his drink.

“You haven’t even seen indecent behavior yet darling,” Rhysand’s gaze met Feyre’s in a sultry connection that had Nesta hurrying to leave.

“And on that note I will be taking my leave,” Nesta said. “Thank you all again for the wonderful time. I now understand the hype around Velaris parties.”

“Until next time,” Azriel said and it made Nesta wonder if they expected her to be invited to more events in the future.

“Have a goodnight,” Cassian waved before following Nesta to the door. When she shot him a confused glance he looked at her as if to say he wasn’t going to be leaving her anytime soon.

“You don’t need to walk me out,” Nesta said. “I’m just going to get a cab outside.” At the coat check two men went to find Nesta and Cassian’s belongings.

“Sweetheart I am not letting you take a cab home,” Cassian reached for Nesta’s coat when it arrived and helped her slip it on. “We’ll be taking my car.”

“Cassian-” Nesta began to argue.

“I won’t be letting my date escape that easily,” Cassian gave her a small smile. “I still want to spend time with you if you’re willing to let me.”

Nesta didn’t deny him. She remained silent as he gathered his keys from coat check. The duo walked to the Velaris parking garage and drove off into the busy Friday night streets of Prythian. During the car ride Cassian rid himself of the tie that had been bothering him all night. The movement caught Nesta’s attention as he proceeded to undo the top two buttons of his shirt revealing the thick column of his neck.

“Sorry, but this torture device has been bothering me all night,” Cassian said from the driver’s seat after placing his tie in the cup-holder.

“No worries,” Nesta pulled her eyes away from the skin that he just unleashed from the confines of his white shirt. “Personally I can’t wait to take these heels off either.”

“Feel free to take them off if you’d like,” Cassian pulled up to a stoplight.

“Then I’d have to put them back on when we got to my apartment,” Nesta watched other cars pass by before their light turned green.

“You know I could easily carry you up the apartment and to your room right?” Cassian dared a glance at her before driving through the intersection. “Then I can give your poor aching feet a massage.”

“As much as I’d love to take you up on that offer I am going to have to pass,” Nesta sighed. “Though I’ll probably soak in the tub when I get back.”

Cassian tried not to think of the image she just put in his mind. His grip on the steering wheel tightened as did his pants when his thoughts centered on Nesta stripping out of that pretty dress and stepping into a warm steaming bath.

He unleashed a cough and sought to divert his attention away from his imagination. Luckily Nesta beat him to it.

“Hopefully work won’t be a pain either, though I’ll probably want to chop my own feet off by the end of my shift considering the amount of hours I’ll be standing in heels.”

“Well my foot massage is redeemable at any time,” Cassian said. “Just give me a call and my services are yours.”

“So you’re a boxer, cook, dancer and masseur,” Nesta ticked off her fingers.

“Don’t forget all-time charmer,” Cassian added with a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

“Of course we can’t exclude that on your list of talents,” Nesta chuckled.

Nesta’s street arrived too soon for her liking. She wished there was more time to spend simply enjoying herself rather than worrying about work or school. She exited the car and Cassian met her so they could cross the street together. The sidewalk was empty of people except the formally dressed pair.

“Thanks again for inviting me Cassian,” Nesta shifted in her coat. “It was a lot more fun than I honestly expected and I’m glad I got to spend time with you and your friends.”

“Thank you for joining me,” Cassian stuffed his hands in his pocket to fight off the cold. He would remain on that sidewalk so long as Nesta was by his side. It didn’t matter if it started snowing or raining. He would keep standing if it meant he got a few extra seconds with her. “And in case I didn’t mention it earlier I want to say that you look beautiful in that dress.”

Nesta blushed and the cold wind blew against her warm cheeks. “That’s good to know. I’d hate to have bought this dress and it not look good.”

“There’s just one thing,” Cassian mumbled and raised a hand to loosen the curls in her hair. “Now that looks like the Nesta I know. Stunning and untamed.”

Cassian’s fingers rolled a strand of Nesta’s hair. His eyes fixated on the locks that shone in the dim streetlight. Nesta watched his face waiting for something she was unsure of.

A bright streak of light darted across the sky diverting her attention for a moment. “Was that a shooting star?”

Cassian looked up to where Nesta was now searching the sky. A second star streaked by in a long clear path.

“It is!” Nesta’s excitement rose. “I haven’t seen a shooting star in years.”

“Really?” Cassian looked back down at Nesta whose eyes were still trained on the sky in the hopes of seeing another star. Cassian got to see plenty of shooting stars over the years on his hiking trips in the mountains where the city lights didn’t interfere with the night sky. They were a sight to behold each year and his inner circle of friends dubbed a special night of the year called Starfall when they went on their annual trip to the mountains together in the summer. Starfall was the one time in the year that Cassian was guaranteed to see falling stars and on that night many would rain down from the sky in a stunning sight.

“The first and last time I saw a shooting star was almost ten years ago,” Nesta said thinking back on that memory she shard with her little sisters when they used to live far away from the city.

“You better make a wish then,” Cassian whispered.

Nesta’s steel eyes met hazel ones that almost seemed to glow in the chilly dark air.

“Maybe you should too,” Nesta breathed. Cassian watched her closely. Eyes assessing her expression and intentions. Nesta wondered if he could see past her walls enough to know what she wanted in this moment. His eyes flickered and slowly he leaned in giving Nesta enough time to back away if she wanted. Instead Nesta shifted forward with her head upturned.

“If I close my eyes do you think it’ll come true?” Cassian’s breath ghosted on Nesta’s lips. She could feel his heat radiating off his body as she fought to sink into it.

“I think,” Nesta licked her lips. “That would help.”

Cassian closed his eyes and leaned the final few inches closer until his lips met hers. Nesta was hesitant and gasped at the touch, but Cassian reached his hand out to stroke her fingers in a calming motion. The languid movements of his fingers left a burning trail on Nesta’s skin that left her in a state of need. Her fingers entwined with his and she began to kiss him back. Fully intending to live out this moment for as long as possible.

A soft groan released from Cassian and Nesta smiled against his warm lips. Cassian leaned back and rested his forehead on her own. His breathing deep as he inhaled her scent.

He said nothing for a stretch of time as he kept his eyes closed. Nesta on the other hand suddenly felt a wave of doubt at his silence.

_Was this not what he wanted? Was the kiss terrible? Did I mess it up?_

Cassian’s free arm wove around her waist pulling her flush against him. Nesta sucked in a breath as his hand lingered on the small of her back.

“Stop thinking sweetheart,” Cassian murmured and Nesta could feel his lips move against her forehead. “Just enjoy this moment.”

“So you’re not…disappointed?” Nesta fought to get the words out.

“Gods no,” Cassian pulled away and looked at her. Looked at her like no one else did. “How could you think I would be disappointed kissing the most stunning women I’ve ever met in my life?”

Nesta had no words, but blushed at his.

“Was this not what  _you_  wanted?” Cassian questioned in concern.

“No! I mean yes I wanted this,” Nesta babbled and felt like a fool for it. “I just didn’t know if you liked me in that way.”

“I don’t like you in that way,” Cassian leaned closer. “I  _love_  you in that way.”

Nesta released a shuddering breath at his admission. “I’m going to kiss you again.”

Cassian grinned and met her again in another kiss that was more heated. He could feel Nesta’s hand run through his loose hair at the nape of his neck. A car horn honked in the distance as Cassian’s tongue touched her lips. Nesta jolted back. She hoped Cassian would blame the honking for the ruined moment. Cassian looked at her curiously, but said nothing about her retreating.

The feel of his tongue brought back memories of Tomas and Nesta didn’t want that bastard to ruin this new memory with Cassian.

“Nesta,” Cassian trailed off and looked down the street before returning to her. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “I’ll call you tomorrow after you get off work.”

“Okay, but I’ll text you tonight,” Nesta tightened her hand and wished he didn’t have to go.  “Just to make sure you got home safe.”

“Glad to know you are worried,” Cassian loosened his hand and their hands dropped to their sides. Nesta curled her hands around her waist against another cold wind gust. “Better head inside before you catch a cold.”

“Thanks for the ride,” Nesta turned up the stairs and turned to watch Cassian crossing the street. “Goodnight!”

Cassian stopped at his car and looked back. “Goodnight and have a good day at work tomorrow,” Cassian waved before getting into his vehicle.

Nesta walked up the staircase and into her apartment. Elain was already asleep so Nesta moved silently across the floorboard and into her room. She grabbed a towel and went to the bathroom for a quick bath. As she scrubbed herself she glanced at the dress that now hung up on the door. The grey fabric shimmered in the dull bathroom lighting.

With a sigh Nesta sank deeper into the tub and touched her lips where Cassian had kissed her. She smiled at the memory of his touch, warmth and hazel eyes.

On the northern side of Prythian Cassian was arriving at his own apartment and was greeted by Blaze. He gave the pup attention and petted him for a few minutes before walking up the stairs. Cassian removed his suit and changed into new underwear before falling into bed with a tired sigh.

His hand ran through his hair before moving down to his lips. He recalled how warm Nesta was against him and the way her lips moved fiercely against his own. She still seemed hesitant, but at least she was finally beginning to trust him.

Cassian smiled in the darkness. He was determined to make Nesta see that there was nothing to be frightened of when it came to trusting others. Or at the very least trusting him with her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	18. Arm Spans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feyre and Nesta have an intriguing conversation leading Nesta to wonder more about what she is feeling for Cassian. Meanwhile Cassian is planning a trip to the mountains where the cabin is. This is a trip that the inner circle makes, but Cassian wonders if someone else would be willing to join.

“So are you dating yet or not?” Feyre asked while sipping her tea in the coffee shop.

Nesta rolled her eyes. Of course her sister would jump to that question.

“I don’t hear you denying it,” Feyre leaned closer with a grin.

“You also didn’t hear me  _confirm_  anything either,” Nesta paused. “Perhaps what you heard was a thing I like to call  _mind your own business_.”

Feyre laughed. “Come on Nesta! It’s been weeks since the dance and I swear the tension between you and Cassian has been growing by the minute!” Feyre set her cup down. “You even went over to his house to learn how to bake those brownies that all of us love. He never would even  _give_  us the recipe yet you got to have your own little baking session with him.”

Nesta took a long drink of her tall coffee. She needed it at this rate. “As I recall you and the rest of the inner circle go to Cassian’s apartment for meals too. I don’t see you hounding Azriel asking him if he’s Cassian’s boyfriend. In fact Mor mentioned that Azriel is the only one that Cassian lets handle the meat in the kitchen.”

Feyre choked on her drink and coughed roughly as she swallowed her hot tea.

Meanwhile Nesta smirked knowing the full effect her words intended.

“I’ll give you points for that,” Feyre rubbed her eyes at the forming tears. Whether those tears came from coughing or the urge of holding in laughter was unclear to Nesta.

“Maybe I should call Cassian and ask if he is already taken?” Nesta reached for her phone, but Feyre waved her hand.

“No need,” Feyre said with a hint of a smile. “We already know that there is only one person that Cassian wants to handle  _his_  meat and it’s not Azriel.” Feyre waggled her brows and Nesta couldn’t bite back the chuckle that escaped her lips.

“Okay fine, but seriously Mor mentioned something about-,” Nesta’s voice trailed off before she whispered the final words. “Male appendages and how Azriel’s is the biggest of Rhysand and Cassian.”

“We all know that,” Feyre shrugged.

“What?!” Nesta’s eyes widened and dropped her voice back down at the stares she received. “You mean that the guys told you or…? I know Mor would have an idea about Cassian’s, but I doubt she has seen Rhysand or Azriel in that state of…undress to make a comparison.”

“You can tell by their arm span,” Feyre spread her arms wide as if they were wings. “The larger the arm span, the larger other…parts are.”

“You’re joking,” Nesta said deadpanned. When Feyre didn’t say anything Nesta shook her head in disbelief.

“So since Azriel has the biggest…arm span,” Nesta rolled her eyes at the ridiculousness of the words. “Who has the smallest?”

Feyre sipped her tea, but the coy smile was visible enough.

“Never mind,” Nesta shook her head. “Forget I asked. I do not need to know that answer.”

“Are you sure about that?” Feyre cheekily smiled. “Don’t think you’ll wonder about Cassian’s  _arm span_ anytime soon?”

“I don’t plan on fact checking the arm span theory anytime in the near future,” Nesta took another drink. “We haven’t established what this is between Cassian and I.”

“Let me make it easier for you, because I’ve had experience between myself and a man I was blind to see I loved.” Feyre rested her chin on her hand as she considered Nesta. “He loves you. Madly to the point it is driving  _us_  mad that he took this long even getting to this point with you. And you love him. More than you’re willing to admit aloud.”

Nesta ran her index finger on the coffee lid. She said nothing to deny what Feyre deduced.

“Why don’t you start a relationship with Cassian?”

“It’s going to sound cliché, but it’s complicated,” Nesta’s eyes were trained on her cup. The finger still tracing invisible patterns on the white plastic.

“All relationships are complicated in some way,” Feyre explained. “But you need to take a chance and let someone be there for you. To be vulnerable with one another.”

“No,” Nesta abruptly stated. “I won’t be weak like that.”

“Weak? Nesta it’s not about being weak enough to trust someone. You have to be  _strong_  to do that. Letting someone in isn’t easy and you know that more than anyone.”

“You’re right I do know what happens when you let down your defenses for just a second,” Nesta gripped her cup tightly. Imagining it gripping Tomas’s wrist years ago and trying to tear it away from her body has he ripped her shirt.

A hand touched Nesta’s hand and she flinched back hard enough to startle Feyre who froze. Hand still outstretched on the table.

“Nesta,” Feyre drifted off with concern clear in her grey eyes.

“I should get going,” Nesta stood. “There are still groceries that need to be bought.”

“Nesta wait,” Feyre rose from her chair and followed her sister out onto the cold Prythian streets. The weather had changed drastically this past week and soon snowfall was predicted.

The sisters weaved through the weekend crowds until Feyre pulled Nesta to a stop near a shop window away from the sidewalk traffic.

“You need to talk about this Nesta,” Feyre said.

“What is there to talk about?” Nesta glanced at her phone and made it obvious that she wished to be elsewhere.

Feyre let out a heavy breath. “I understand what it’s like. To feel trapped and there’s no way out.”

Nesta looked at her sister. She knew where this was likely leading and it left a crippling stab in her heart to know about Feyre’s dark time after Amarantha. A span of months where she was hurt both physically and mentally until Rhysand and the inner circle helped pull Feyre out of that darkness.

“For months I suffered in silence or had my voice taken away by people who were blind to my pain,” Feyre continued. “Rhys helped me get me back on my feet when it seemed like no one else would. It didn’t mean I was weak to rely on another person, but it helps to know someone will be there to pick you up when you stumble or fall onto hard times.”

“Thank you Feyre for your words of wisdom,” Nesta clipped out. It wasn’t that she was trying to sound rude, but she didn’t want to go down this path. Not today and not ever if she had anything to say about it. “I should get going though.” Nesta turned to leave until Feyre’s next words stopped her.

“Don’t let Tomas win,” Feyre said. “If you let that bastard haunt your life then you’ll never be able to see the dreams that are right in front of you to take.”

Nesta glanced back.There was no way Feyre could know about what Tomas did. Nesta had never told a soul. Feyre’s determined look did not waver as Nesta stared back.

They were two sisters caught in different places of their lives. One that had survived and thrived from her ordeal while the other was still battling with her own.

“Tell Rhys and the others I say hello,” Nesta said. “And thank you for meeting me today.”  Nesta strode away as her sister. Feyre didn’t hold it against her. She was the same way with Rhys and the others when she was recovering from Amarantha. Feyre only hoped that Nesta would open up her walls soon.

Almost an hour later Nesta was in the grocery store with a small basket of items. She would have to carry what she bought on the subway so she made sure to only take items off the shelf that her and Elain needed this week.

She rounded an aisle corner and bumped into a cart with multiple items inside.

“I’m sorry,” Nesta said automatically. “I didn’t see-” She glanced up and saw who was pushing the cart.

Cassian’s perplexed look quickly took on a more happy expression at the sight of Nesta.

“What brings you here?” Cassian asked with a smile.

Nesta held up a gallon of milk. “I imagine the same thing that brought you here.” She glanced at his cart of groceries. “Although I didn’t think you shopped in this area.” This grocery store was located on the southern end of Prythian. Nesta couldn’t imagine Cassian would drive across the city just to stock his refrigerator.

“I was in the area to buy some supplies for a trip to the cabin,” Cassian said. “There is one store that sells outdoor gear a couple blocks away that I always buy from so I figured I could also pick up a few things to make meals this week.”

Nesta looked at the cart that had enough food to fill a small army. She raised her brow at Cassian. “Your definition of  _a few_  is different from mine I think.”

Cassian laughed drawing people’s attention nearby. Some women kept their eyes lingering on his handsome form. An emotion rose up in the pit of Nesta’s stomach as she shot a quick glare at the ogling women. Finally they stopped staring and went about their business.

“I’m a growing boy Nesta,” Cassian interrupted her stare down. “I’ve got to keep up with my body’s needs.” The simmering look he gave Nesta made her wonder if his body had other needs. Ones that involved her and him…

Nesta rolled her eyes banishing where those thoughts were leading. “Perhaps it’s your small mind that needs to keep up.” Nesta smiled softly.

“I can’t help it when my mind is distracted by other things,” Cassian pushed his cart forward to stand beside her. “Especially when those things involve a woman who wields words of steel.” The distance between them was so close that they almost touched. Nesta leaned closer to Cassian’s warmth, but before she could brush his arm a loud cough was heard behind them.

Nesta and Cassian turned to see a man waiting to pass through the end of the aisle with his cart. Of course Cassian’s own cart was blocking the way.

“Sorry about that,” Cassian’s arm wrapped around Nesta’s shoulder and he smiled innocently at the annoyed man. “We were just talking, but we’ll move.”

“I’m sure that talking is  _all_ you were planning on doing,” The man grumbled as he pushed his cart by once Nesta and Cassian moved forward.

“Thanks for getting us into trouble,” Nesta whispered at Cassian whose arm was still holding onto her shoulders.

“Me? As I recall I was distracted by the most lovely lady in the store,” Cassian said and continued pushing his cart with Nesta walking with him.

“Charming,” Nesta chuckled. “But not enough to get yourself out of this situation.”

“What do you mean?”

“I imagine that man will be ranting for hours about how the younger generation doesn’t understand the concept of how blocking an aisle is against common courtesy.”

“Well I couldn’t be impolite to a lady and not give her some of my time,” Cassian responded with a smile playing on his lips. “What a terrible thing if you didn’t get to see this handsome face today.”

“A tragedy for sure,” Nesta shook her head with a brief laugh escaping her lips. The two walked together for the last food aisles. Cassian still kept his arm around Nesta and she leaned slightly into his body. She doubted he would notice, but to her it eased worries of the day by precious fractions.

They self-checked out their purchases when Nesta claimed it was much quicker than letting an employee go through them. Cassian only laughed stating that perhaps Nesta just didn’t want to socially interact with another human.

“I just hate small talk,” Nesta shrugged and began sliding her items across the scanner. Cassian also began checking out, but his took a longer time due to the quantity of products in his cart.

Nesta was unsure if she should leave or wait. It was obvious that he was heading home after this and she too needed to leave and catch the subway. But any extra moments with Cassian sounded more appealing as Nesta thought about it.

She helped him place the bags back in the cart and walked outside in the parking lot. It was only about five blocks to the subway station. Nesta began to say goodbye to Cassian.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Cassian pushed his cart after her when she finished her farewell.

“Home of course,” Nesta replied.

“Carrying all of that?” Cassian looked at her own grocery bags on her hand.

“There’s only four and a gallon of milk. I can handle it,” Nesta said and hefted her arms up and down to show how easy it was. “Looks like you’re training paid off. I imagine I can challenge the other gym members to a grocery bag lifting contest and win.”

“I doubt most of the men there even know how to shop for groceries, but there’s no sense of you carrying those when I can drop you off.”

“There’s no need to do all that-”

“Nesta would you honestly rather ride the subway carrying those bags than accept a ride?”

Nesta bit her lip. She knew hitching a ride with Cassian would be the easier option. And the most preferable. She still didn’t want to impose on him when he had his own tasks to deal with today.

“I don’t want you to make a drive that’s out of your way,” Nesta said.

“It’s more than fine sweetheart,” Cassian reached down and grabbed the gallon of milk from her hand. “Besides that means I get to spend more time with you.” He gave her a wink and Nesta resisted the sudden urge to kiss him right there in that busy parking lot.

They walked down the rows of vehicles until Nesta spotted his vehicle. They loaded up the groceries in the back end of the SUV before sliding into the front seats.

Nesta had to give Cassian directions considering didn’t know the roads that led to her apartment from the store.

“How is Blaze by the way?” Nesta asked when Cassian had entered familiar roads.

“He’s doing great. Loves all the attention my neighbors give him when we go out jogging.” Cassian stopped at an intersection waiting for the light to turn. “But his excitement is nothing compared to the times when you visit.”

“I’m just glad I can stop by once in awhile to see him,” Nesta leaned back in her seat. “So what do you plan on doing with Blaze though while you are on your trip in the mountains?”

“Are you offering to the pet sit?” Cassian’s mouth quirked in a smile.

“I would if I could, but the land owner’s won’t allow Blaze for even one night,” Nesta sighed. She would gladly take Cassian up on the offer to keep Blaze while he was away.

“There’s no need to sound disappointed,” Cassian drove forward as the light changed. “I plan on taking Blaze with me when we go. With Rhysand, Feyre and the others going also Blaze is sure to be well-taken care of.”

“It will be his first time in the snow without a fence caging him in,” Nesta thought aloud.

“Three days of it out in the wilderness,” Cassian agreed with excitement. He always loved the outdoors. It felt right to be among the trees and fresh air with the sounds of the mountain greeting him.

“So what exactly do you all plan to do up there?” Nesta’s curiosity seeped in.

“We mainly go just to escape the busy city life and the pressure of our jobs. In the winter we snowboard and ski. Sometimes we will go to this little village that isn’t too far from the cabin and spend hours there. Most of the time we relax at the cabin in front of the fireplace and TV to talk with each other.”

“It sounds like a wintery escape from civilization,” Nesta said.

Cassian shrugged. “Pretty much, but we still have electric and all those sort of things at the cabin. It’s mainly a tradition that we shared since we were kids.”

Nesta’s apartment came into view and Cassian parked the vehicle.

“When do you plan on going on your trip?” Nesta opened her door.

“A little over a month from now,” Cassian answered and made his way to help Nesta with her groceries.

“I got this,” Nesta held her bags and milk. “I’m a big girl that can carry her own food up a couple flights of stairs.”

“I’ve got plenty of muscles to help though,” Cassian spread his arms wide. “Just imagine how many bags I can carry on each arm like this.”

Nesta blinked. The sight of his arm’s stretched out made her think about her earlier conversation with Feyre.  _The larger the arm span, the larger other…parts are._

A heated blush started forming on Nesta’s cheeks. She tried to banish those thoughts from her head even though it was practically impossible.

“Thanks Cassian, but I won’t hold you up any longer,” Nesta quickly walked forward before mental images flooded her mind. Before she left she gave him a quick peck on the cheek. His stunned expression made her laugh without restraint. “What’s with that look?” Nesta breathed out between laughing bouts.

“You’re…incredible,” Cassian said watching her in awe as she laughed. It was perhaps the first time he had ever seen Nesta laugh without a care in the world. He wanted to hear that sound more often.

Nesta paused as she heard Cassian’s words. He looked down at her with his hair pulled back into a bun so she could clearly see his face. Nesta had never been looked at like the way he was seeing her with those hazel eyes. She gulped and fought down the need to reach out for the warmth of his hand to let her know this was real.

Cassian coughed noticing he had been probably staring at her for too long considering the way she had gone silent. “If you ever need a ride or anything feel free to call me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Nesta gave him a faint smile. “See you next week for training?”

“Of course,” Cassian said turning to watch her walk across the street. The temptation to run after her and kiss her on the lips in return was rising. At the very least he should have asked her to join him and the inner circle on the mountain trip. She may not have been able to work it into her schedule, but he wanted her to know the offer was there.

_I’ll ask her next time I see her._

Cassian got into his vehicle and sat there for a moment. His hand drifted to the spot on his cheek where Nesta’s lips kissed him. He would have thought they would be cold from the weather outside, but instead warmth had seeped into his skin at her faintest of touch.

He ran his fingers across the fading warmth, but the memory would be burned into his mind.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	19. Served Best Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta receives many unexpected customers while working at the restaurant. When the evening takes a surprising turn Nesta must maneuver her way out of a situation that can cost her too much than she can afford. By the end of the night she’ll lose more than she ever thought possible.

The dinner crowd at the restaurant was one of the busiest so far. Around the holidays a swarm of people flocked to the location by couples or large groups.

Nesta had lost track of how many tables she had waited on since she started at noon. Tonight was a long shift, but within two hours she would be done for the night.

“Nesta,” Mrs. Laurent addressed her near the kitchen doors. Her voice was stern and seeped with rigidity.

It was a well-known fact that around the holidays Mrs. Laurent would dismiss any of her workers if they made multiple mistakes during a peak business season. So far two had been cut from the staff.

“What is it,” Nesta asked. She knew full well that she had not been making any errors in orders. Why would the manager be calling her for a talk?

“I need you to serve an important table,” Mrs. Laurent said. “These business people come from an extremely well-known company in Prythian and I want you to handle them.”

“Shouldn’t Marlene or Jane be getting the next tables? Currently I’m already working on-”

“They would be if they weren’t already fawning over the customers,” Mrs. Laurent said. “Many of them are quite handsome and I know I can trust you not to make a fool of yourself by making advances on them.”

“Oh.” Nesta blinked. “Well then I suppose I can take the table since my last few are finishing up their meals.”

“Excellent. The party is waiting for you to seat them,” Mrs. Laurent left Nesta standing there a bit bemused by what had occurred.

_Are these people **that**  good-looking?_

Nesta shook her head and strode to the host podium in her small black heels. When she rounded the corner to the restaurant’s entrance she almost tripped at the sight that greeted her.

Rhysand, Cassian, Amren and a few other men stood at the podium.

Nesta could see why the other waitresses wanted this group. Each of them was dressed in business casual. Cassian’s form captured Nesta’s attention the most though since his hair was loose in soft waves reaching his shoulders and the grey button down shirt looked far too good hugging the contours of his muscles. Nesta wondered how easy it would be to take off that shirt and have her hands touching the skin beneath.

She dashed the thought away before she ended up making a fool of herself. Taking a deep breath she prepared herself.

“Good evening and welcome,” Nesta greeted with a smile she always used for customers. Instinct took over as she put on her waitress role with forced smiles and an enthusiastic voice that made Nesta want to rip out her voice box. Sadly her true personality never made customers happy so she resorted to the façade that would please others and thus make her earn better tips.

Cassian turned around with a shit-eating grin. Nesta knew he was up to something.

“Are you our waitress for the night lovely lady,” Cassian asked with mirth.

“I am and if you would follow me I’ll be taking you to your table,” Nesta said brightly. She made sure to give Cassian a pointed questioning look.  _Why of all places was he here?_

As Nesta led the way past other tables full of eating customers Rhysand spoke up.

“Cassian told us about this place and requested that he and his security team dine here for the evening as part of their reward bonus this quarter.”

“Did he?” Nesta had told Cassian once where she worked and he always kept telling her that he wanted to see her in action at work. Of course Nesta kept making excuses as to why he shouldn’t go. She merely didn’t want him to see her working at a place that tested her strength each day as she acted extremely perky and enthused when in reality she couldn’t care less if a customer was pissed that they only got three slices of tomato instead of four.

Nesta placed the group next to the window overlooking the city. The table seated eight, which was perfect for their group. As all of them took a seat Rhysand leaned slightly closer to Nesta, but his voice carried across the table where Cassian sat.

“Although if we’re being honest I think he came to see a particular person that has been in his head lately,” Rhysand said with a smile.

“Both his little heads,” Amren added and made a vague gesture around her head and lower half of her body.

Nesta chuckled, but Cassian shot a dark look at Amren.

“Or maybe he was hungry for something else other than his home-cooking,” Nesta said and brought out her pen and small pad of paper to write drink orders.

“You could say I am hungry for something else indeed,” Cassian winked at Nesta who rolled her eyes yet the hint of smile tugged at her lips. Cassian saw the movement and his eyes shone with laughter.

He was going to make her smile for real tonight. Not one of those fake smiles reserved for other customers, but a true one. Cassian knew she was just playing a role reserved for what her job entailed. The urge to let the true Nesta seep out was rising with each passing second. He wanted Nesta bantering with him and shooting him playful looks when no one was watching like she usually did.

“What will you all be having to drink?” Nesta poised her pen and started jotting down each beverage that was requested. “They will be out in a moment so take your time looking over the menu.”

Nesta left her party to grab the drinks. When she made it back to the kitchen Clare stopped her on the way inside.

“Nesta I have a huge favor to ask,” Clare said and fidgeted her fingers nervously.

“What is it?” Nesta asked with true concern. Clare never usually acted this way. She was hired not too long after Nesta and was a seasoned pro at her job.

“This party of five men just came in and I’ve already got their drinks, but they keep trying to touch me and they say such rude things.”

“Did you tell Mrs. Laurent?” The manager did not take kindly to the harassment of her staff. Surely she could come out here and deal with this.

“I would, but I’ve already got two strikes and I don’t want her to fire me considering the mood she’s been in lately.”

“She won’t fire you over this,” Nesta said.

“Yes she will. These men – they’re from Hybern,” Clare cringed at the business name.

“Shit,” Nesta swore. Hybern always got away with this each year when the group came for their meals. Mrs. Laurent always claimed they could do no wrong since she personally knows many of the workers.

Two years ago one waitress came forward about the harassment and was scolded for it. There was no evidence and the men had made quite a complaint with Mrs. Laurent when the accusations were brought forth.

That girl ended up quitting, but Nesta always had the feeling that she was going to be fired regardless from that event.

“I would ask one of the other waiters, but none of the male waiters are here tonight and honestly I think you’re the only one that can handle this group. Please Nesta can you swap me tables, I’ll do all your tables for the rest of the night if that’s what it takes,” Clare pleadingly glanced back at the table she wanted to avoid.

“Mrs. Laurent personally assigned me to a table so I don’t think –” Nesta was about to explain why she couldn’t, but the dimming hope in Clare’s eyes made her stop.

Nesta closed her eyes and counted backwards from five. She hoped she wouldn’t regret this later on.

“Ok let’s swap my recent table for the bastards table you got,” Nesta said. “You need to make sure though that Mrs. Laurent doesn’t see you serving my table though or else we both are in for it.”

“Thank you Nesta!” Clare hugged Nesta and the two swapped the current orders they had.

Nesta went to the kitchen and grabbed the first set of dishes full of food. There were so many plates for just five men and Nesta could already imagine how much food was going to be wasted.

She placed most of the plates onto a tray and hefted it onto her shoulder before striding back into the dining area. On her way she passed by Cassian’s table as Clare gave them all their drinks.

Nesta caught the confused expression on Cassian’s face at the new waitress. His eyes searched for Nesta until he spotted her walking by with the large tray heading for a table a few spaces down. He continued to watch her until he noticed where she was heading. His fists clenched tightly under the table. He knew exactly who the pricks at the table were.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

The Hybern men immediately questioned Nesta upon arriving at the table.

“Where’s that cute little server from awhile ago?” One of them asked.

“Was she scared that we would bite? Not that I’m saying I wasn’t tempted.” Another chuckled and showed off his teeth to show that his little joke had underlying truth to it.

“Well at least this lovely lady wouldn’t mind I bet. Would you doll?” The third leaned closer, but Nesta simply stared him down with disinterest.

She took a deep breath and began serving plates. “I’ll be your waitress for the remainder of the evening.”

“Oh?” A man with brown eyes and matching hair raised a brow. “Is that so?”

“Might as well cut to the chase and ask her when she gets off work. We all know that’s what you really want to know Jurian.” Knowing looks were shared around the table by the men.

The corner of Jurian’s lips raised in a slight smile. “You know I always have dinner before the fun,” Jurian glanced up at Nesta. “Why don’t you be a good girl and get me the rest of my food.”

Nesta left without a word before her temper got the better of her. Upon her return with the last batch of dishes the men stopped talking.

Jurian looked toward her chest and Nesta crossed her arms making it clear that she didn’t want him staring.

“She does have nice ones right Jurian?” A man nodded to Nesta noticing how long Jurian had been looking at her breasts. “I prefer big ones myself, but not to big that you can suffocate,” The man whispered. Of course his wheezy voice was loud enough that Nesta could still catch the words.

“Archeron,” Jurian said a bit puzzled at the nametag on Nesta’s shirt. “Are you related to Feyre Archeron by any chance?” The men hushed at Jurian’s words.

Nesta kept a neutral face. Feyre would never associate with men like those from Hybern. If they knew Feyre then it could only mean trouble for Nesta.

“Is she a friend of yours?” Nesta parried with another question. Anything to buy time so she could set down the last plates.

“I asked you first,” Jurian tapped his fingers on the table impatiently waiting for a response.

Before Nesta could answer a hand gripped her waist. The unexpected touch made Nesta stiffen. Fingers pressed tighter and a voice from her nightmares spoke just above her ear.

“It’s been a long time Nesta.”

Slowly Nesta turned her head and was greeted by the sight of Tomas. A boy who should be hundreds of miles away. A boy who shouldn’t know where she was. A monster that now had her in his sights.

“Should have guessed you would be working in a place like this,” Tomas said with a glance around the restaurant.

“What?” Nesta was completely confused. Tomas being here had warped all thoughts except the one that was screaming at her to get as far away as possible.

Tomas gestured to her clothes. “You serving people. That’s pretty much one of the only things your good at.” His hand glided down further and the veiled meaning behind the words was clear.

Nesta pulled away from Tomas and felt the urge to scrub away the contact. “You can’t be here.”  _You should be far away and gone from my life forever._

“Why not?” Tomas smiled as if he had won some sort of sick game.

“Only customers are allowed to be seated and this restaurant does not accept walk-ins for dinner. You need to have a reservation.” Nesta looked forward to having this bastard kicked out.

“Perhaps you should watch that tone of yours,” Jurian interrupted. “Mr. Mandray is my guest who is joining us tonight. You best treat him with the utmost respect or I will call the manager to fix any issues that arise.”

“You hear that Nesta,” Tomas continued to smile. He knew he had the advantage. “Be respectful. If you can handle it with that venomous mouth of yours.”

Nesta clenched the tray in her hands. Her knuckles turned white as she frowned darkly at Tomas.

“Did you hear him,” Jurian questioned. “If so then answer.”

The men at the table snickered at the silent battle waging between Nesta and Tomas. She wanted to do nothing more than bash his head with the tray. Or toss him out the glass windows.

“I heard,” Nesta clipped out. She made to turn away, but Tomas gave a loud cough catching her attention along with a couple of nearby tables.

Cassian, who had been closely watching the situation unfold, was now glaring daggers at the newcomer at Hybern’s table. It seemed as if they knew each other, but the look of shock and a flash of fear in Nesta’s eyes set Cassian on edge. Clearly she did not want to be around the man. He couldn’t hear the conversation at the beginning, but once the man coughed Cassian caught the next words with ease.

“Say that a little more nicely,” Tomas said. “I want to make sure I’m not just imagining things and that Nesta Archeron actually has a soul in that cold heart of hers.”

An angry flush crawled up Nesta’s neck. People began whispering and the risk of Mrs. Laurent coming out to investigate would mean trouble.

 “I said,” Nesta spoke up a bit louder and slower as if Tomas were a child. “I heard you.”

Tomas exaggeratedly pondered her words. His index finger tapped his chapped bottom lip. “I suppose that’s good enough for now. Next time though be sure to say ‘sir’ or maybe something a bit sweeter. I’ll also have water to drink.”

“Your water will be out later,” Nesta began to turn away, but Tomas coughed again. The loudness made Nesta cringe.

“I think you’re missing something on the end of that sentence,” Tomas said thoroughly enjoying watching Nesta struggle with restraint to give into the fury.

“Your water will be out later  _sir_ ,” Nesta added icily as customers next to her shivered at the coldness in which she delivered the statement.

“That’s better,” Tomas said before taking his seat. He watched Nesta leave and attentively focused on her backside where her curves were.

From Cassian’s table Rhysand was now watching the action unfolding as well.

“Rhys,” Cassian’s voice resembled a growl. After seeing Nesta try to be humiliated by Tomas it was becoming difficult for Cassian to remain calm. “We can’t let them do this. _I_ won’t let them do that to her.”

“I know what you’re thinking, but you can’t storm over there and create a warzone,” Rhysand said calmly. “First I’ll talk with the manager and –”

“You can’t!” Clare squeaked out as she finished taking their meal orders. Realizing her abrupt comment was uncalled for she covered her mouth wishing to take back the words.

“Why the hell not?” Amren took a sip of blood red wine from her glass. Her short glossy black hair shimmered in the light as she pushed strands out of her narrow cat-like eyes.

“Well…we’ve tried to talk with the manager before about Hybern since they are known for…well what you just saw and worse,” Clare said softly not wanting to be heard by other tables. “She knows most of the people from Hybern and refuses to believe the complaints made toward them. The last person that tried to call them out ended up getting fired. Well she technically ‘quit’, but we all know that she was going to get fired if she didn’t.”

“You’re joking,” Cassian looked back at Hybern’s table. “I mean I don’t doubt the complaints, but your manager makes you put up with that shit?”

“If the manager finds out then Nesta and I will get in trouble since we swapped tables,” Clare fidgeted with her pen. “Hopefully they eat quickly and then we don’t have to deal with them for awhile.”

“This needs to be addressed now,” Rhysand reasoned. “If not it will keep happening.”

“Mrs. Laurent won’t believe us though,” Clare then saw Mrs. Laurent making her way through table rounds. “I have to go. If she sees me here she will be upset since she’ll know Nesta and I swapped tables.” Clare quickly left to give the chefs the latest orders.

As Clare went into the kitchen Nesta came out with a glass of water.

_Just get this over with and you’ll be home free soon._

Nesta wove around crowded tables until she reached the one place in the world she didn’t want to be.

“Took you long enough,” one of the men said as she set down the glass of water in front of Tomas. She didn’t look at any of the table’s occupants.

“Have you decided on an order?” Nesta poised her pen to write on the paper. Too bad she couldn’t plant the pen into Tomas’s smirking face.

“I can think of one that involves you, me and this table,” Tomas smiled as if this was a normal conversation and not vulgar harassment.

“Does it involve me bashing your face into a fork if you don’t pick out some food?” Nesta said without thinking.

“Now that wasn’t polite,” Tomas leaned forward and it took all of Nesta’s willpower not to startle backwards from the motion. “I believe an apology is in order if you are so keen on demanding orders.”

If he thought that wasn’t polite he had another thing coming. Nesta ignored him and waited for him to choose what he wanted to eat.

“You heard him,” Jurian’s voice raised the hair on Nesta’s neck. “Apologize.” It was given as an order.

Nesta shot Jurian a narrow glance. His brown eyes were enjoying the sight of her inner struggle. Feeding off of how uncomfortable this situation was for her.

“Sorry,” Nesta’s words a smooth poisoned blade ready for attack. “Perhaps if you can’t handle the way I treat improper behavior of customers then you should act with more respect.”

Jurian’s hand twitched into a fist. “I think it’s you who needs to be taught respect.”

A silent standoff between Jurian and Nesta began to unfold.

“Get me the steak dinner with a baked potato and soup,” Tomas interrupted. He was not pleased that Jurian stole Nesta’s attention away. “And you know how I like my meat handled Nesta. Don’t mess it up.” A suggestive grin from Tomas earned him a few laughs from the men at the table.

“You heard the man. Go handle his meat how he wants it,” one rudely guffawed and Nesta was mortified by the stares people were sending her.

Nesta walked away and didn’t dare stray away from her path to the kitchen. She didn’t want to see the looks people were giving her. Nesta could only imagine what Cassian was thinking right now. Of all the days he had to be here it was when she was facing her worst day on the job.

After handing in the latest order to the kitchen staff a small tap on Nesta’s shoulder caught her attention.

“The man with the long dark hair at the table wants you to refill their drinks,” Clare pointed to the Velaris table. Cassian sat with furrowed brows staring at Tomas. It appeared as if Cassian was sizing him up.

Nesta’s eyes widened in shock. What if found out that was Tomas was the man that almost raped her? Cassian had a perceptive mind. He was sure to put the pieces together if he went searching for more answers.

Nesta had to make sure to prevent that. If Cassian started a fight over her then he would get in trouble. And he didn’t deserve that. Tomas wasn’t worth it no matter how bad he hurt her. Cassian should never face punishment for defending her. Nesta could only imagine the damage that would be done if Cassian held to his promise during their first boxing session

_“I’d make them wish they never hurt you. They would see what would happen when all their bones are broken.”_

“Nesta?” Clare broke her concentration.

“I’m a bit busy dealing with the bastards at my table,” Nesta tiredly rubbed her eyes.

“But he really wants to see you,” Clare said. “Besides you have to wait for your latest food order to get done anyway. Why don’t you help me carry out these plates?”

“Fine,” Nesta sighed before proceeding to carry a few plates on her arm while Clare grabbed the rest. They stepped back out of the kitchen and made their way to the Velaris table. Nesta’s waitress persona was in full effect. She couldn’t let Cassian know how rattled she was with her latest table of moronic assholes.

Rhys and the others smiled when they saw their food. Clare quickly began placing dishes in front of each respective customer who ordered it.

“Who ordered the herb-roasted chicken?” Nesta’s upbeat tone masked the worry she was currently feeling.

“That would be me,” Cassian said. His eyes never leaving hers.

“Here you go,” Nesta reached in front of him to set the plate down. His hand rose to help her lower the plate, even though she had it under control. Unlike the emotions that were beating inside her walls.

His large hand cupped hers and together they eased the plate onto the table. His fingers lingered and gently encased her in warmth.

“I’m tempted to steal you away,” Cassian smiled. “Considering how my time with you was taken away by people who don’t see what they’re up against.”

“I’m on the job,” Nesta stated and slowly eased her hand out of his even though she wanted to stay there the whole evening with him _._   “You can’t expect me to sit down and chat with you anyway,”

“But you know you want to,” Cassian said as if he could see right through her words. “Besides how could anyone resist this?” He gestured to himself with a grin. Amren scoffed across the table and the men at the table chuckled at Cassian’s antics.

“That’s easy. The moment you open your mouth people go running to the hills,” Nesta’s mouth shifted into a true smile.

Amren laughed. “Casanova Cassian’s charm is no match for the Ice Queen.”

Nesta coughed to cover up the laugh that escaped her lips. She could always rely on Amren to back her up in baiting Cassian.

“I would say my mouth is my best quality,” Cassian crooned until Nesta gently tapped the back of his chair with a menu.

“Behave yourself. You’re in a fine establishment,” Nesta quirked a brow and her eyes brightened with a teasing glint.

“What happens to customers who don’t behave?” Cassian flirted.

“They don’t get dessert,” Nesta implied with a faint smile. The double meaning was not lost to Cassian whose eyes darkened in lust.

“Not at the table,” Rhys interrupted before reaching for his drink.

“Funny you should mention that Rhys,” Amren coolly added. “I remember something about you, Feyre and a table if I’m not mistaken.”

Rhysand almost choked on his drink.

“I better get back to work,” Nesta did not want to hear the story behind her sister and Rhysand involving a table.

“Wait,” Cassian turned and Nesta stopped at the change in his demeanor. Cassian’s eyes were full of concern. “If those men at that table don’t stop harassing you-”

“I can handle myself,” Nesta didn’t need to ask which people he was talking about. “It’s not like I’ve had to handle people like them before.” Nesta didn’t risk a glance at Tomas, but Cassian did. He was trying to connect how he and Nesta knew each other from their previous interaction.

“Nesta-” Cassian tried again.

“Please Cassian stay out of this. It will only provoke them if another person gets involved.” In truth Nesta knew if Cassian went over there it was going to turn into a battleground. She gave Cassian a small smile hoping to ease his worry.

Cassian was silent. Eyes weighing the honesty and hidden thoughts that Nesta was trying to keep from him. With a sigh he conceded. For now.

“Just come back soon,” Cassian said with a returning smile. “Don’t want you to miss me.”

Nesta bit her bottom of her lip to prevent another sentence from being released. As much as she loved this battle and dance with words Nesta needed to get back to work.

Cassian could see it though. She still wanted to play.  _We’ll continue this later._

Nesta nodded and it was almost as if she had heard his thought.

Across the room Jurian was watching the exchange with interest. He recognized Rhysand, Cassian and Amren from Velaris, Hybern’s competitor that almost completely destroyed their company. The waitress, Nesta Archeron, knew the trio.

This left a perfect opportunity to taunt Rhysand for making Hybern suffer heavy losses from a business deal gone bad. Although the lawsuit ended up bringing quite a few more illegal activities that Hybern was involved in. It was only a stroke of luck that the once dominating company was still barely even keeping afloat today.

Tomas however was confused by how familiar Nesta acted with the group from the other table. She was never friendly back in their hometown. Yet here she was smiling and what appeared to be laughing with those customers.

And then there was the matter of that man and Nesta flirting with each other. Tomas could tell what was going on. Nesta and this other man were looking at each other as if the rest of the restaurant didn’t even exist.

Tomas glared at Nesta as she walked away from the man with an easy smile on both their lips. Tomas flexed his hand underneath the table as the couple was oblivious to being watched.

_She’ll learn soon enough what happens when you try to leave **me**  for someone else. Maybe a lesson like Dad always mentions when Mom threatens to take off._

Nesta was unaware of the two increasing dangers that were sitting at the Hybern table when she returned with Tomas’s food. Her experienced hand at serving dishes allowed her to give Tomas his meal in record time.

Now all she had to do was check up on them on brief and rare occasions now that all the food was served. At this point she usually told customers to enjoy the food, but Nesta figured she might accidentally tell Tomas to choke on his food instead.

_Just walk away Nesta. Don’t waste more time with them._

“Hold on,” Jurian said. “You’re not going to even speak with us before you go running off?”

“I don’t want to disturb your meal,” Nesta stonily replied holding down Jurian’s stare. She would not cower from this man.

“But you were talking with that other table so much,” Jurian vaguely motioned his hand to where Rhys and the others were. “You’re making us feel neglected when you give them all your attention.”

“Sorry you feel that way,” Nesta’s tone didn’t sound apologetic in the least. “You keep similar friends,” Nesta sneaked a glance at Tomas, “around your table so I assumed you would be fine to talk among yourselves.”  _And not bother me or anyone else._

“Is that so? And does that mean those people over there are your friends?” Jurian asked. It may have been a friendly question, but coming from Jurian it was anything but that.

“Why are you so concerned about who I keep in my company when you should be focused on your own,” Nesta was tired of keeping this conversation. “Excuse me while I go check on my other tables.”

“You’re not excused,” Tomas said with his shoulders tensed. He was ready to pounce and Nesta’s stomach began to churn at his tone.

“What was that?” Nesta kept up her composure.

“You think you can go back to that table and be with him?” Tomas said under his breath, but Nesta, Jurian and the other men heard him.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Let me guess. Are you fucking him? I don’t see why he would considering you’re nothing, but a little pathetic girl who doesn’t know when to shut her mouth.” Tomas’s voice was rising and two couples at different tables turned to look at them in shock.

Nesta tried to defuse the situation while keeping a lid on her own rage that was starting to boil. “My personal life is  _not_  your business,” Nesta said keeping her voice down so other tables didn’t notice what was going on.

“It is considering you’re my girlfriend,” Tomas clenched his fists. The action caught Nesta’s eyes. She had to put a stop to this nonsense.

“I am not your girlfriend. And I will never be your girlfriend,” Nesta stated clearly. “We are not compatible in the slightest and if you don’t settle down I will have you escorted out of here immediately.”

Tomas seethed in his seat and the Hybern businessmen watched the event unfolding in front of them in shock. Jurian had the audacity to look amused by the whole thing.

Nesta began to step away seeing as the conversation was finished. Suddenly Tomas snatched her hand and roughly tugged her back. The unexpected action pulled Nesta’s hip into the table and caused the plates to rattle at the force.

The noise drew more customer attention. Cassian, who had been watching since the beginning, had seen Nesta being forcibly pulled. He quickly rose from his table with Rhysand swiftly grabbing his elbow.

“You can’t charge over there,” Rhysand reasoned. “Let me get her away before you start throwing punches.”

“She needs me,” Cassian tried to pull his arm out of Rhysand’s firm hold.

“And you’ll be needing bail money when you get taken away for beating someone up.”

“It may be a murder charge if he doesn’t let her go,” Cassian ground out with eyes never straying from Nesta as she tried to pull her hand away from the bastard’s vise grip.

At the Hybern table Tomas refused to relinquish his painful restraint.

“Let. Me. Go.” Nesta’s mouth was set in an angry expression. If Tomas didn’t release her then he was going to regret ever laying his hands on her.

“Maybe I should go visit your little sister Elain,” Tomas laughed darkly. “If you’re so set on that piece of trash over there then I can take your sister out instead. Maybe she can finish what we only started.”

Memories of Tomas forcing himself onto Nesta flashed across her mind. “You will never go near her,” Nesta fiercely said. “If you so much as even try I swear you’ll regret it.”

“Is that so? Why should it matter if you’re fucking that idiot?” Tomas squeezed his hand tighter and Nesta winced in pain. At this point she could hear Cassian’s voice getting closer.

“You’re such a whoring bitch like your sister Feyre,” Tomas spat out.

That insult was the final crack that broke the wall containing her rage. Nesta’s fist came up and punched Tomas in the face. She heard the crunch of it and the noise spurred her on. So many years of pent of fear and anger was finally being released.

“Don’t you ever say that about my sister!” Her words were a battle cry as she gave Tomas another hit to his jaw that sent him falling out of his chair. His grip didn’t release and Nesta tumbled forward clipping the table and sending a wine glass shattering onto her shoulder.

Dimly she heard shards of broken glass fall to the floor and people crying out in surprise.

Tomas struggled with Nesta until he rolled her onto the ground. She saw him raise his fist.

“This is what I should have done years ago,” Tomas’s mad eyes flared as he swung down.

Shouts rang out and Nesta brought her arms up to block the punch.

For seconds she waited for the blow to strike her, but it never came. The weight of Tomas was wrenched off her body and tossed to the side.

Strong arms grasped her shoulders and pulled her forward into a broad chest. His scent filled Nesta’s senses as one of his hands held the back of her head tenderly.

“Are you alright?” Cassian’s breath ghosted the top of Nesta’s hair.

Nesta didn’t trust her voice to waver and instead nodded. Her cheek rubbed against his chest at the movement. She shakily placed her hands on his forearms to anchor down from the storm that had been brewing inside her.

“You fucking bastard. This is between Nesta and me.” Tomas groaned feet away. Cassian had thrown him off Nesta with so much force the wind was knocked out of Tomas.

“Keep talking and next time I’ll throw you out the window,” Cassian growled out. Nesta could feel the rumble of his voice. She risked a glance up and saw that Cassian’s usual easy-going and smiling expression had transformed into lethal rage.

“What is the meaning of this?!” Mrs. Laurent approached. She looked beyond pissed as she took in the mess before her.

Nesta hurried to stand and took a small step back from Cassian. One of his arms remained on her back to steady her.

“Mrs. Laurent-”  Nesta tried to begin explaining.

“She attacked me!” Tomas interrupted.

“Not without reason,” Cassian shot Tomas a death glare. “He provoked her.”

“Cassian stop,” Nesta whispered. “I can explain myself.”

“Then you better have a good reason why this is happening Archeron,” Mrs. Laurent crossed her arms and customers watch in morbid awe of the show before.

“This man,” Nesta motioned to Tomas, “and those at the Hybern table were harassing me. Tomas got physical and that is when I tried to free myself.”

“And why were you even at this table? I specifically assigned you elsewhere,” Mrs. Laurent scanned the area. “Where is Miss Beddor? She has explaining to do as well.”

“I’m here ma’am,” Clare stepped forward nervously.

“Why is Nesta serving at your table?” Mrs. Laurent asked stonily.

“We swapped tables, because the men I was originally serving were saying insulting things to me.”

“And can either of you prove these allegations?” Mrs. Laurent asked with a raised brow.

Nesta heard Clare suck in a breath. This is what they had wanted to avoid. There was no way in hell Mrs. Laurent would side with them if there was no way to prove their innocence.

“We could hear some of the comments from our table,” Rhysand spoke with authority. He must have followed Cassian over in case he needed to stop him from beating Tomas to a bloody mess.

Mrs. Laurent looked shocked to see Rhysand. “Oh. And did anyone else hear anything?”

A few nearby table raised their hands and told Mrs. Laurent that they heard Tomas and most of his words, but in terms of the other men at the table they couldn’t hear them well enough to catch what was said.

“So it seems as though you were the main cause of this fiasco,” Mrs. Laurent turned to Tomas who was now standing on shaken legs.

“Only because Nesta was treating me with the same courtesy,” Tomas said with hate directed at Nesta. Cassian leaned forward to block her from his sight.

“He’s telling the truth,” Jurian spoke for the first time during the questioning. His eyes glinted and his smile was directed at Cassian and Rhysand. Revenge was in his grasp.

“You’re not serious,” Nesta incredulously turned to Jurian. “I said nothing to deserve what Tomas did.”

“Are you sure about that?” Jurian turned his cunning smile on her. “I remember how rude you acted toward all of us at this table. Tomas especially.” Jurian shrugged as if this was expected. “Although I’m not sure why you two were acting so violently considering you’re a couple.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Nesta clenched her teeth. “He’s a mistake I regret ever having met.”

“Do not raise your voice Archeron,” Mrs. Laurent sternly said. “And I expect you to apologize to these men right now for you behavior.”

“Excuse me?” Nesta incredulously turned to her boss.

“Why should she apologize for something that is not her fault?” Cassian questioned fiercely.

“She has to pay for her actions,” Mrs. Laurent solely watched Nesta. “I do not tolerate such conduct from my staff.”

This was it. Mrs. Laurent drew the line in the sand. If Nesta didn’t apologize then she was risking her job. But if she did her pride would be crushed all because of filth like Tomas and Jurian.

Nesta bit her lip. If she lost this job then there was no way to help pay for her schooling and apartment rent. Sure she had money saved up, but it wouldn’t last more than three months.

“Nesta?” Mrs. Laurent impatiently tapped a finger on her arm.  “We are waiting.”

Nesta had to take care of Elain. Even if that meant tossing her pride and dignity aside for the sake of her little sister. She couldn’t fail her like she failed Feyre.

“I…I’m sorry,” Nesta choked out as if the words caused her pain. “I shouldn’t have let my emotions get the better of me.”

“No,” Cassian suddenly turned on Nesta and held her shoulders. “This is _not_  your fault. Do you hear me Nesta?”

“I can’t risk it,” Nesta breathed. “If I lose my job over something like this…then…” Nesta didn’t want to voice her fears, but Cassian understood. His jaw clenched at seeing Nesta backed into a corner.

“Now that we have that settled,” Mrs. Laurent nodded to security that arrived. She pointed to Tomas and two of the men began to lead him out.

Nesta sighed in relief at seeing Tomas ushered toward the exit. Hopefully that was the last time she would ever see him again.

As she watched him leave Nesta failed to see that Mrs. Laurent also directed security to her as well.

“You will also be escorted out Archeron,” Mrs. Laurent said.

“What?” Nesta’s eyes widened in shock as one guard walked toward her. Cassian’s put himself between her and the approaching man.

“I can’t allow employees that cause such a disruption to remain here,” Mrs. Laurent face showed slight sadness at the prospect of losing Nesta who was one of her best workers. “There can be no exceptions.”

“But I thought that if I apologized…” Nesta trailed off.

Mrs. Laurent shook her head. “It was for your benefit so you wouldn’t feel guilty later on for your actions toward our guests. Having the opportunity to apologize will be better for your conscience.”

This couldn’t be happening. She was still getting fired. There was no point in apologizing to those undeserving bastards in the first place.

“Mrs. Laurent please reconsider,” Nesta pleaded. She hated it. This complete and utter display of weakness, but she had to do something. This job was the main source of income for Nesta to provide for her and Elain.

“I’m sorry Nesta, but you must leave,” Mrs. Laurent said. “I’ll deliver your last check in the mail. Don’t forget to grab your personal belongings on the way out.”

“That’s bullshit,” Cassian ground out. Rhysand grabbed his arm to prevent him from doing something drastic.

“Cassian you need to back off,” Rhys steadily commanded. “You’re only going to make things more hard for Nesta.”

Cassian’s head swiveled back to look at Nesta who was frozen in shock. Still trying to comprehend how her life had taken such a turn.

The security guard made to grab her elbow, but she jerkily pulled away before he made contact.

“I can walk myself out,” Nesta fixated a stern look at the guard who looked a bit unnerved. He followed her to the exit as she strode passed him. Nesta kept her head held high even though whispers followed her out the doors.

“I apologize for the inconvenience ladies and gentlemen,” Mrs. Laurent said to the customers. “Please enjoy the rest of your evening meal.”

Cassian eyed the door where Nesta left.

“Is there anything wrong sir?” Mrs. Laurent broke his concentration.

“Yes there is,” Cassian frowned at the manager. “You’re wrong. And so are these Hybern customers who harassed not only Nesta, but your staff for the past few years.”

“You have no idea-”

“Don’t,” Cassian fumed and set a determined look toward Mrs. Laurent. Hazel eyes still simmering in anger. “Don’t you dare say that we don’t know what’s going on. You’re the only one here that is blind to see what’s been happening.”

Mrs. Laurent looked ready to argue, but Rhysand stepped forward immediately drawing attention to his form.

“I think some dessert is in order to take the bitterness out of this situation don’t you think?” Rhysand smiled innocently at the manager who instantly became placated by the smoothness of Rhysand’s words.

“Let me personally have some dessert menus delivered to your table,” Mrs. Laurent walked off leaving a fuming Cassian and relaxed Rhysand.

Casually Rhysand began to make his way back to his table, but he placed a hand on Cassian’s shoulder. Grounding him to not make any rash decisions with Jurian smirking at them in triumphant at what had transpired before him.

“Go to her,” Rhysand didn’t have to say whom he meant. His next words were a quiet warning for Cassian’s ears only. “Do  _not_  go after that man.”

Cassian clenched his fists. That man, Tomas, was a monster. The urge – no the need to punish him for what he did to Nesta was impossible to defy.

“We need more background on him before we can pursue any legal action,” Rhysand finished softly. They would make Tomas pay. Not now, but in due time when the evidence was stacked in their favor. Rhysand and the others would make sure of it. Cassian just had to be patient until they could take the bastard down.

“Fine,” Cassian understood, but that didn’t mean he liked waiting. “I won’t touch him.”

“Or talk to him,” Rhysand knew his friend who was more like a brother to him. Cassian was known for brute strength, but his words were also a force to be reckoned with. Especially when those he loved were involved. And Nesta had become increasingly precious to Cassian over the past few months.

“We can’t let them get away with this,” Cassian said.

“And they won’t,” Rhysand agreed. He patted Cassian’s shoulder once before returning to his table.

Cassian then left the restaurant to find Nesta. He had to ask around before another server told him that she had already grabbed her belongings and was heading to the exit that led outside.

After doubling back Cassian made his way through the waiting area where people stood in-line to walk in for their reservations. It didn’t take him long to see over the people’s heads and spot Nesta already walking out the doors into the already darkened Prythian streets.

He quickened his pace and rushed out the doors. Nesta continued walking down the sidewalk with her arms curled around her body. The dark grey pea coat she wore billowed against a rough gust of wind.

“Nesta! Wait!” Cassian called. His voice caused her to stop, but she didn’t turn. Her shoulders stiffened in preparation of whatever he was about to say.

He approached and moved to stand at her side. “Nesta let me take you home.”

She turned to him then. Her face hard set in a neutral expression. Wall after wall was fortified against the onslaught of emotions in order to keep them inside to where no one could see them.

But Cassian knew. He could tell she was furious and upset. Most of all he understood that deep down she was suffering. From losing her job and what it meant combined with what she thought was a loss of dignity after apologizing to Jurian and the others.

It made him want to make Tomas and those other bastards beg for her forgiveness. He wanted to tuck her into his chest and let her release the emotions she was bottling up.

“Cassian I’m fine,” Nesta’s posture solid against the winter wind. “No need to worry about it.”

“Stop saying you’re fine when we both know it’s not,” Cassian rubbed a hand up her forearm. It was then that he noticed he had walked outside without grabbing his jacket and other items.

“Well there’s nothing that will change the past,” Nesta looked away from Cassian. She stared down the sidewalk with contempt. “I’ll just have to adjust and move forward.”

“I should have intervened earlier,” Cassian admitted. He could tell they were riling her up each time she had gone to their table.

“No,” Nesta shook her head and looked back at Cassian. “If you had gotten there any earlier I imagine it would have ended a lot messier than what it did.”

“Your shoulder,” Cassian glanced at where the glass had shattered on her. Beneath the jacket though he couldn’t tell if she was injured.

“I don’t have any battle scars if that’s what you’re trying to get at,” Nesta rolled her shoulder with ease. Not the slightest bit of pain showed on her face. Then again she was known for masking her feelings.

“I’d feel a lot better if you would let me drive you back to your apartment,” Cassian repeated. “Then I will check that shoulder myself to make sure you’re not lying.”

Nesta huffed in agitation. “Go back inside and enjoy that meal I gave you. It better not go to waste with you taking me home when I can easily take the subway.”

“He still might be out here,” Cassian looked around as if daring Tomas to show his face.

The implication made Nesta pause in fear. Finally she shook her head as she realized that Tomas wasn’t around. “He already left. I saw him take a cab earlier from the window before I walked outside.” Still she couldn’t avoid the dread and aggravation rolling around inside of her knowing that Tomas was in Prythian. She had thought leaving her hometown would be an escape, but now her nightmare was finally on her heels.

Ever so slowly Cassian reached one hand to cup Nesta’s face. She blinked in shock at the warmth of his palm cradling her cheek.  The last hour of events were finally taking a toll on Nesta. It was at that moment that a tear slid down her face and Cassian’s thumb brushed it away.

“I promise that I’ll protect you Nesta,” Cassian roughly spoke. “You and your sisters don’t need to worry about Tomas, Jurian or any other person who thinks they can try to hurt you.”

Nesta remained still at the words. His promise affected Nesta in a way nothing else had. Cassian vowed to protect her sisters, the two most important people in her life.

She swallowed and at last turned away from Cassian. The promise felt too good to be true. That anyone would even go to such lengths for Nesta to protect her family made her heart clench.

Cassian stared at Nesta as she wrangled with what he had just told her. Torn between wanting to show appreciation and claiming that she was strong enough to deal with this on her own.

“I wish you would just rely on me instead of trying to act all tough,” Cassian rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. “It’s ok to admit that you need help Nesta. Why not just accept it when someone offers to give you hand?”

“Because I don’t need it,” Nesta’s voice raised a fraction. She wanted it, but she felt that she didn’t deserve the right to have such a moving promise made by someone who would lay down everything for anyone who needed it.

“I can handle myself,” Nesta continued. She had to handle it, because if not who would take care of Elain, the rent and college funds?

“Like how you handled it inside? When Jurian and his fucking lackeys were treating you like shit the whole night?” Cassian’s voice lowered with each passing word from his lips. He was upset by the evening’s turnout and now Nesta wouldn’t even let him help. “Or maybe when Tomas grabbed you and was about to hit you? Was it handled then?”

Nesta’s face looked stricken before she swiftly hid her emotions. Cassian caught it though. He quickly realized his mistake.

“Nesta…I didn’t mean –”

“Fuck off Cassian,” Nesta shouldered by him roughly and set a quick pace for the subway station.

Cassian wasn’t going to let this go. They weren’t leaving each other like this. His longer legs immediately caught up to Nesta. Easily he wove into her path.

“Would you stop running from me?” Cassian remained firmly in front of Nesta as she tried to cut him down with her icy stare.

“I’m not running, especially not from some jerk who thinks he knows everything!”

“Maybe if you would talk to me then I would understand,” Cassian gritted out. He wouldn’t be surprised if steam was rolling off from him in this cold air.

“I can’t,” Nesta tried to find the words as she looked away. A car passed by and Nesta still had yet to form any sort of explanation.

“You can’t?” Cassian crossed his arms. Not because he was cold, but that he waiting for her answer. The posture was that akin to a commander waiting for a response. Or perhaps a petulant child who wasn’t going to give up until they got what they wanted.

Nesta blinked. And soon enough she was trying to blink back tears.

“You’re such an idiot,” Nesta whispered.

“What was that?” Cassian questioned. “ _I’m_ the idiot? Because the person I care for doesn’t even trust me enough to talk about this?”

“No that’s not the reason,” Nesta still looked toward the street.

“Then look at me and tell me why,” Cassian huffed out bitterly.

“Because it hurts!” Nesta whipped her head around and Cassian saw two tear tracks that left wet trails on her cheeks. “I can’t talk about what happened, because it hurts to remember.”

Cassian stood frozen in shock. He shook himself out of his stupor to finally respond as Nesta wiped her tears away.

“I’m sorry…Nesta I –” Cassian reached for her again.

“Just stop!” Nesta dodged his hand. “I don’t need this. I don’t need Tomas, my dad or anyone else that has made everything worse. And I don’t need your damn apology or help!” Her voice cracked at she cried out her last statement. This time when she brushed by Cassian he didn’t stop her.

In the winter night he stood still with his hand dropping down to his side. Finally he returned back to the restuarent with peculiar looks by everyone in the building that noticed him from before.

He sat down and stared at the herb-roasted chicken that Nesta had given him earlier. The memory of the slight warmth in her hands had faded from the cold air outside.

“Cassian?” Amren’s cat like eyes were faintly concerned.

He shook his head not wanting to talk about what had transpired outside.

Amren shared a look with Rhysand. They knew something had happened, but they would wait to question him later on in privacy.

Slowly Cassian began to eat his food. It was tasteless in his mouth.

Dessert was then served with Rhysand paying for it. Cassian watched as Clare also delivered a couple bowls of ice cream to the Hybern table.

Jurian’s confused look prompted Clare to point out that the dishes were sent by Rhysand.

Cassian raised a subtle brow at Rhysand as he watched Jurian glance at their table.

Clare said something else that made Jurian’s face tighten.

“What did she say?” Cassian asked Rhysand who merely turned and smirked at Jurian.

“I requested that she serve him ice-cream and to deliver a message that some of the best dishes are served cold.”

“Like revenge,” Amren agreed sweetly. Her eyes glinting at what the future may hold in store for Hybern.

Cassian nodded before finishing the rest of his meal. Slowly the bitterness of the evening began to taste better knowing that Hybern would soon be getting a dose of revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	20. The Spirit of Steel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being unemployed causes Nesta to make a couple of decisions in order to make sure that Elain is taken care of. A job search leads Nesta on a dangerous path. She has been running from a nightmare for years. And it's finally caught up to her.

“What do you mean you’re taking a break from school?” Elain dropped the magazine she was reading into her lap. Currently she was sitting on Nesta’s bed as her older sister rifled through the stack of business books on the dresser.

“I need to focus on getting a job,” Nesta flicked through a large textbook before setting it in a pile to be sold to other business students. “Lots of students use a semester toward internships and finding steady employment.”

“But you already had an internship last summer,” Elain recalled. “And you only have one more semester until you graduate. Why stop now when you’re so close to getting your degree?”

“While everyone is busy with classes that leaves plenty of job opportunities for me to swoop in on,” Nesta said though she didn’t think it could be further from the truth. Finding good-paying positions in Prythian were rare if you didn’t have business connections. And Nesta personally didn’t have any she could call on. She refused to ask Feyre for a favor and see if Rhysand could hire her. It didn’t feel right to impose, especially after everything Feyre had done years ago to help their family when Nesta should have stepped in.

Still she couldn’t let Elain know how desperate of a situation Nesta was in. Without her restaurant job they wouldn’t be able to afford the rent within a matter of months. On top of that there was the daunting student loans that Nesta had been paying off in small increments.

“It’s perfectly normal for students to take a semester off,” Nesta began leafing through another book that she considered selling.

“Maybe, but the Nesta I know wouldn’t do that,” Elain cocked her head to the side still confused at her sister’s school decision.

The words agitated Nesta. Everybody acted like they thought they knew her and what was best for her. She was utterly tired of that kind of talk.

Nesta took a steadying breath. No need to get angry with Elain because she was trying to help. It was simply in her kind-hearted nature to be concerned.

Just like a certain person who Nesta still couldn’t find the courage to talk to right now. She could only hope Cassian wouldn’t take it personally. She cared for him. Deeply. But she didn’t want him to hold the weight of this heavy burden she had been carrying for years.  Nesta would have to deal with Tomas. This was her problem. Not Cassian’s.

“Sometimes things change,” Nesta set the book down behind her before turning to her younger sister. “I’ve already contacted the university of my decision.”

Elain looked dejectedly down at the magazine. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

Nesta moved forward to sit beside her sister. She wrapped an arm around Elain comfortingly. A slight tinge of pain in Nesta’s shoulder served as a reminder of her last night working at the restaurant when everything went terribly wrong.

Tomas was lingering in Prythian and the threat of that alone set Nesta on a teetering edge. She had warned Elain that Tomas was in the city and to avoid him at all costs. Nesta didn’t give her more of an explanation that would raise questions she didn’t want to face. All that mattered was that Tomas stayed far away from her family.

“I wish you would trust me enough to tell me these things,” Elain rubbed her eyes.

Nesta’s heart twisted at seeing Elain’s trust in her wither ever so slightly. “I am telling you now, because you always have a way with words Elain.” Nesta rubbed her hand up and down her sister’s arm reassuringly. “You would have talked me out of it if you had the chance.”

Elain emitted a soft giggle. “I very much doubt that. Once you’ve made a choice you always stick with it.”

“Not when it comes to you,” Nesta hugged her sister tighter.

“In that case can we have Thai food tonight?” Elain asked. “If you’re going to take a semester off then we might as well go all out with the best stir fry in town!”’

“That sounds like a great idea,” Nesta agreed. “I’m actually going out to look for jobs so I can pick food up on the way home.”

Elain stood up and led the way out to the living room where Nesta followed to put on her boots. “I still can’t believe that your boss fired you, because some jerks were being obnoxious,” Elain said.

“Well at least I went out with a bang,” Nesta shrugged. She told Elain most of what had transpired that night. Given the fact that Feyre called to check up on her that night made it impossible for Elain not to find out.

Of course Feyre had also discreetly talked with Nesta about what happened between Cassian. Apparently he had been brooding more than Rhys. A major cause for concern considering the CEO of Velaris was perhaps the most broody male in existence.

Nesta firmly told Feyre that she needed space and that a concerned pouting brute was the last thing Nesta could handle during these stressful times. Feyre hinted that Cassian might be what Nesta  _needed_  regardless of what the rigid sister wanted. Nesta acted as though she didn’t hear that last comment and parted their phone conversation with a warning to Feyre to be watchful of Tomas prowling the streets.

A sigh from across the living room pulled Nesta’s attention. She looked up and saw Elain sitting on a chair in the late afternoon sunlight.

And then Elain – sweet Elain – murmured, “Those jerks…I hope they all burn in hell.”

Nesta choked on a laugh. Leave it to Hybern to bring out the more vicious side to the gentlest Archeron sister.

“If that were the case then they wouldn’t be dealing with all this snow outside,” Nesta noticed that the snow was falling heavier outside. Inches of it coated the sidewalks and streets leaving the city in a shroud of white mixed in with the dirt and mud. If only the pristineness the snow lasted longer. Nesta didn’t mind the snow, but she wished to see it undisturbed by the filth that littered almost every inch of the city. Out in the countryside where the Archeron siblings used to live, the fields would remain pure white and reflect light from the sun in a beautiful scene.

“Maybe we can take a trip out of the city one day and just drive on roads to take in the winter season,” Elain too glanced out the window.

“We’ll see,” Nesta said. It did sound like a wonderful idea. Escaping to the wilderness was appealing the more she thought about it. But right now she had other responsibilities.

“I’ll see you later tonight,” Nesta adjusted her pea coat and gloves. “I’ll call you on my way home from the Thai restaurant.”

“Good luck with the applications!” Elain waved goodbye as her sister left with a departing smile.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

Nesta trudged up the subway stairs onto the darkened streets. The sun had fallen hours ago in the early evening. Nesta had just finished her last job search and application submission. It didn’t appear as though anyone was interested in hiring her. Nesta’s mood considerably soured with that fact.

The falling snow that hadn’t yet stopped all day wasn’t helping in the slightest. Frigid wet rivulets ran down her loose hair making her head feel that much colder. She should have worn a hat, but then her hair would be in an awful mess each time she entered a business looking for a job.

Her phone buzzed in her coat pocket. A message from Elain popped up onto the screen.

**Have you finished your job search yet? How was it???**

Nesta didn’t have the heart to admit just how much of a failure it had been. Instead she thought up a reply that made the depressing blow to her effort seem less than what it was.

**_Got them all done and I’m heading to pick up our chow. I’ll send you another text when I get inside so I can let you know what’s on the special’s menu today._ **

**Yay! Someone is bound to hire you! Also thanks again for going to get food. I’ll be waiting for your text with a growling stomach! Hahaha!**

Nesta put her phone back in the pocket. She continued on her way down a couple blocks before an unsettling feeling made her pause. A quick glance around showed only a couple walking on the opposite side of the road. This was one of the least busy parts of the city and wasn’t known for high crime occurrences.

Still if anything Nesta had learned over the years was that you never knew where danger lurked. Tomas had proven that enough.

She continued down the sidewalk that was slick with an occasional ice spot. In about five more blocks she would be inside a warm building surrounded by delicious Thai food.

The eerie feeling suspicion never left Nesta. She tried to keep her footsteps at a calm pace, but the urge to bolt had her legs shaking. Her hearing heightened on the apparent desolate street to pick up sounds that could be a sign of danger.

_Keep it together Nesta. You’re probably just stressed out to the point of hearing things._

Her pace quickened regardless. Under the dim street lamps Nesta almost failed to notice a form leaning against a building in the shadows.

_Keep walking. Don’t make eye contact and stay on your guard._

“Nesta? What a surprise.” The familiar voice brought Nesta to a startling halt. Tomas stepped out of the shadows with a pleased smile on his face.

“Stay away from me,” Nesta began to walk off when Tomas blocked her path.

“What’s the hurry? We still need to…catch up on old times.” Tomas moved a hand out to touch her. Nesta smacked it away. Taking a step back to put more distance between her and him.

“I mean it Tomas. Stay the hell away.”

Tomas looked around at the empty street. “And if I don’t? No one is here to stop me. You’re bodyguard isn’t around to help.”

_Avoiding a fight is your best option Nesta. Run if you can, but use physical force to protect yourself as a last resort._

Cassian’s words from training came to Nesta. Tomas was bigger than her and Nesta didn’t know if six months of boxing was going to put her at a good enough advantage. She hated the thought of running. She had done that years ago and now her nightmare had finally caught up to her.

Tomas snatched her arm with such a quick movement that Nesta was too shocked to react at first. Survival instincts quickly kicked in when his grip tightened painfully.

Her leg rammed against Tomas’s thigh. He let out a stunned gasp and Nesta used the opportunity to punch him in the face. Her fist made contact with his jaw and it sent Tomas off into a violent rage.

It was hard to keep track of how many physical blows the two exchanged. Nesta had called out for help once before Tomas smacked her across the face. The stinging sensation spurred Nesta to fight harder as if she was a wildcat unleashed.

Then Tomas grabbed her coat. Nesta tugged away and the ripping sound of her coat brought back horrible flashbacks of a time when her dress was ripped by the very same hands she fought against now. Tomas jerked her coat toward him. Fully intending to land a solid blow to Nesta’s abdomen.

Reflexes allowed Nesta to slip out of her coat in time to have his kick knock into her hip instead. The movement caught her off balance, but she righted herself in time to fend off another punch. Her coat fluttered to the sidewalk as Tomas flung it to the side.

Ice became Nesta’s worst enemy as she slipped on a patch. Tomas went careening into her body slamming her against a brick building. Her head cracked against the hard stone sending her into a dizzying pain. Tomas leaned in close as his hands pulled Nesta’s wrists down at her side.

“Play nice or I’ll have to pay your sweet little sister a visit,” Tomas whispered in her ear. His tongue ran down her exposed neck. Nesta was on the verge of vomiting. Memories flooded her. The past and the present blurred together in a frightening clarity. Nesta gagged as Tomas’s breath snaked across her skin.

She tried to shove him off, but his waist pressed her harder against the wall. His fingers dug deeper into her wrists.

_No! No! No!_

“Somebody help!” Nesta screamed. Tomas turned his head swift as an viper. Fully intending to push his mouth against hers to keep quiet. Instead Nesta used the opportunity to smash her head against his.

Tomas stumbled back with a groan.

Nesta pushed away from the building and gave Tomas a swift shove that tripped his footing. As he fell down, Tomas kicked out at Nesta’s leg causing her to tumble onto the sidewalk as well.

The blow to the back of her head made it difficult to catch her bearings. It gave Tomas ample time to use this weakness to his advantage as he rose to stand above her. 

Nesta felt the kicks, but never saw them coming. One to her face barely missed her eye, but the force of it rolled Nesta onto her back.

She raised her arms to defend herself as blow after blow followed each other. Two of her left hand fingers seared in pain as she was struck by another powerful kick. Adrenaline ran through her veins enough that she dismissed the throbbing discomfort. She swiped her feet across the slick ground and felt her ankle make contact with Tomas.

She rolled a couple feet away to a safe distance out of his reach. Snow stuck to her lavender sweater even as she shifted into a defensive stance with feet planted firmly for the next move. 

Tomas recovered from his near stumble. He leaned down to pick something up from the snow. A half-shattered glass bottle glinted in his hand. Rage quaked from his form as he clenched his weapon tighter. His heaving pants distorted the air.

He ran at Nesta with a bellow. She dodged the first couple of swings, but one slashed up her collarbone narrowly missing her neck. She gritted her teeth to contain the shock of seeing her sweater slowly stain red.

As Tomas was half-turned from the swing Nesta released a battle cry and struck him with her fist. The impact crunched his nose in a sickening sound and he fell backward onto an apartment stoop. He slumped there unmoving with the bottle falling from his hand in a clatter onto the steps. Seconds passed and he didn’t flinch as his nose began to bleed and his mouth hung ajar.

Shakily Nesta grabbed her phone. Down her arm she could see blood had already seeped down her sweater from the gash that ran from her collarbone to her shoulder.

She dialed the police and took a few steps away from where Tomas laid still as death.

“911 what’s your emergency?” The operator asked.

“I need help on 22nd Street. A man attacked me and I’m bleeding-” Nesta lurched forward as her head swam. She groaned and held her head. It pounded painfully as she shut her eyes against the ache.

“Ma’am? How badly are you hurt and is the attacker still with you?”

“I don’t know,” Nesta tried to find the words. “I just feel-I don’t feel good.” Nesta leaned against a light post.

“Is he nearby? Can you get to a safe place?”

“He’s on a stoop on the same street passed out I think,” Nesta replied weakly.

“We have a unit on the way along with an ambulance,” the operator said calmly though Nesta barely heard the words. She attempted to support her own weight, but her knees gave out. She landed with her face half in a pile of snow. Her sweater began soaking up the freezing wetness making her chest that much more colder.

“Are you there?” The operator asked on the phone that was still clutched in Nesta’s hand. “Ma’am? Can you answer me?”

 _No._  Nesta thought.  _It hurts. And I’m tired. So…tired._

The cold dirty snow cradled Nesta’s cheek like a pillow. The snow began to turn red as Nesta’s open wounds dripped blood like the color of Feyre’s pain on a blank canvas.

Something ran down the side of Nesta’s cheek. At first Nesta assumed it was another cut that was running with blood. It wasn’t until she blinked with blurry eyesight that tears were the cause of wetness trailing down her face.

She didn’t have the strength to wipe away the tears, which frustrated Nesta even more. She thought about Elain waiting at home. Or if Feyre was with Rhysand and their friends. Cassian would be among them.

Nesta wished she was with him. Cradled against his chest as he held her like no one in her life had done for her.

With a shuddering breath that could have been a feeble sob Nesta closed her eyes. Sleep pulling her under. She was in the depths of those dark waters without a light to guide her up.

_Cassian._

An ember glowed beckoning Nesta to stay awake. Her eyes flickered open, but a wave of pain and exhaustion pulled her back under. She only had the strength to murmur one name before darkness claimed her.

“Cas…sian…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	21. The Broken Promise (Cassian POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian’s POV immediately following the last chapter’s incident.

“Can you believe all this snow?” Mor poked her head around the curtain from Rhysand’s living room window. “It’s going to be slick driving back home.”

“That’s why Cassian is going to be our chauffeur tonight,” Amren plucked a grape from the fruit platter.

“You better give me a tip then,” Cassian called from the kitchen. “My services don’t come cheap.” He winked and Amren flicked a grape at him in response.

“Hey now don’t go making a mess in my kitchen,” Rhysand walked forward with his arm around Feyre’s waist.

“Cassian you don’t need to clean all the dishes,” Feyre said noticing that her friend had practically washed every plate and pan used for their dinner.

Cassian shrugged. He needed something to pass the time and keep his mind off of Nesta. They haven’t spoken since the incident outside the restaurant when she was fired. Their parting words left a sour taste in Cassian’s mouth. He should have known that Nesta wouldn’t want to talk about her history with Tomas, but it still hurt that she didn’t trust him enough to open up.

“Come sit down on the couch,” Azriel said holding up a game controller. “I want to see if you can still hold your own in that racing game.”

The double-edged sword of the inner circle was that everyone knew everyone else’s business. They knew when something was bothering one of them. Cassian was incredibly thankful for his friends, but he felt terrible knowing that his friends were trying to put forth a not-so-subtle effort to make him feel better.

Cassian played along though. No sense in moping around when he should be enjoying himself.

“Hold my own? Azriel you’re about to have your ass handed to you,” Cassian left the kitchen and sat beside his friend on the couch in front of the large screen TV. They each grabbed a controller and began their friendly competition. All the while shoving each other to try and get the lead.

“Boys and their toys,” Mor laughing at how Cassian and Azriel reacted when one of them passed the other person’s car in the game.

The group watched them play a couple rounds before Amren decided to join in. The trio fixated on the screen. Trying to out maneuver their opponents. Somehow Amren always ended up taking the win in the final lap of each game.

“You are cheating,” Cassian said as he tried to pass Amren on the track, but she was always just ahead. “I don’t know how. But you are.”

“Can’t keep up Cassian?” Amren smiled in triumphant. Not at the game, but at getting Cassian riled up and pulling him out of his depressed stupor.

“You’re about to eat my dust!” Cassian exclaimed and went to pass Amren’s virtual pink car on the screen when the finish line was in sight.

At that moment he heard Feyre’s phone ringing as Amren scored another victory. Cassian and Azriel claimed that she had to have cheated in some way, but Amren merely examined her nails in disinterest.

Faintly Cassian could hear Feyre greeting Elain on the phone.

“Let’s have another round,” Azriel said. “This time on a different course.”

Amren shrugged. “It won’t make a difference. I’ll still beat you both even if you had a lap head start.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Cassian wasn’t about to lose again.

 In the kitchen Rhysand and Feyre stood together as Feyre reached for her cellphone in her back pocket.

“Need a moment?” Rhysand nodded to her phone revealing that Elain was the caller.

“Yea, but I promise to be quick.” Feyre glanced at her friends on the couch who were starting a new game. Cassian and Azriel’s determined faces were almost comical next to Amren’s bored expression. “Make sure they don’t go into a fit of road rage on the couch.”

Rhysand chuckled and gave Feyre a brief kiss on the cheek. “Will do darling.” He sauntered over to the couch and stood watching the game with idle interest.

Feyre turned her attention back to her phone. She answered the call and put it to her ear. “Hello Elain?”

“Feyre,” Elain hiccupped on the other end of the line. The tone of her voice sounded hoarse as if she had been crying. Feyre’s stomach dropped. Something wasn’t right.

“Elain what’s wrong?” Feyre asked calmly. From the living room she saw Rhysand glance back at her in concern.

“Feyre she’s hurt – I shouldn’t have let her go and they won’t let me see her!” Elain sobbed into the phone and Feyre could barely catch all the words.

“Slow down Elain and take a deep breath,” Feyre directed. “Who’s hurt?”

“Nesta,” Elain began to cry harder. “She went to fill out job applications and she was supposed to call me when she got to the Thai restaurant, but never did.” Elain heaved in a shaky breath. “I got a call saying she had been – oh Feyre I don’t know how badly hurt she is and the doctors won’t tell me!”

“Elain tell me where you are,” Feyre’s face must have revealed her worry, because Rhysand began walking back toward her.

“I’m at West Side Memorial Hospital in the Emergency Room waiting area,” Elain choked out.

“Okay I am on my way right now,” Feyre went to grab her purse. Amren, Azriel, Cassian and Mor noticed what she was doing.

“Are you leaving so soon?” Mor asked from her spot beside Azriel.

Feyre shot a quick glance at Rhysand. His hand reached for hers and provided an anchor in the midst of what Elain had just told her.

She then looked to Cassian. His eyes that were once bright with laughter slowly shifted. Dread seeped in as if he realized something terrible had occurred.

* * *

Cassian knew the look on Feyre’s face. It was one he had seen too often growing up. It was an expression that only brought sorrow to whatever words were about to be spoken.

“It’s Nesta,” Feyre said not taking her eyes off of Cassian. “I don’t know what’s happened, but Elain called saying they’re at the hospital.”

_No. Not Nesta._

Cassian pushed off the couch in one swift motion. His eyes were wild in fear. He had to go to her. He had to be with Nesta  _now_.

 “What?” Amren asked. “How bad is she?”

“I’m going,” Cassian moved with efficiency to grab his belongings. There was nothing going to stop from reaching Nesta. He would not be swayed to think otherwise. He couldn’t dare let his mind wander in fear of what images his mind would conjure up.

“I don’t know if they’ll let us in,” Feyre said. “They won’t even tell Elain any details apparently.”

“It can’t hurt to stop by and try,” Rhysand reached for his jacket and keys.

“Azriel can you take Mor and Amren home?” Cassian inquired from the doorway.

Azriel nodded. “You don’t need to ask. I’ll get them home safe. Just focus on Nesta.”

“I’ll drive,” Rhysand said to Cassian. “I can already see you speeding down the road and we don’t need you in the hospital either.”

Cassian wanted to argue, but he knew that precious time would be wasted if he did. Instead he followed Rhysand and Feyre to the car. Rhysand drove them downtown toward the hospital. Cassian sat impatiently in the backseat. His fingers wouldn’t stop moving as his nerves began to fray.

_What happened? How badly is she hurt? Is she-_

Cassian clenched his hands tight enough to make the knuckles whiten.  _No. She was going to fine. She **had**  to be fine._ Cassian wouldn’t accept anything less.

The drive felt like an eternity. The run through the emergency room entrance seemed more like a marathon as Cassian’s heart raced with each pounding step. Feyre and Rhysand were right on his heels when they stopped near the welcome desk.

Then there was Elain. Eyes red and voice cracked from crying. She hurried over and clung to Feyre as she explained that police found Nesta collapsed on the sidewalk. She was hurt. Badly enough that they were running tests to check for head injuries and broken bones.

Elain began to cry into Feyre’s shoulder. Her body shook as Feyre ran a hand down her back to comfort her sister.

Cassian set his sights on the welcome desk. He strode directly toward it where two nurses were talking.

“I need to see Nesta,” Cassian demanded. Both nurses seemed a bit startled. A large man with handsome features stood in front of them with a face of determination.  

One of the nurses glanced up at him in trying to mask her surprise. “Are you here with her sister? Miss Archeron correct?”

“Yes,” Cassian flattened his hands on the desk. A commanding stance fit for an army commander. He wasn’t backing down until he could see Nesta.

“I’m sorry, but you will have to wait until the doctor comes out and calls for family,” the nurse gently replied.

“I  _need_ to see her,” Cassian repeated. “Please I made a promise–”

 _I’ll protect you Nesta._ That was what he promised her.

“You’re just going to have to sit tight in the waiting room for now,” the nurse began talking in a firmer tone.

Cassian shook his head at the thought of waiting any longer when Nesta was hurt. He boldly walked toward the doors leading to the emergency room. He had to get to her. She needed him.  _He needed her to be safe._

“Sir! You can’t go back there!” The second nurse tried to step in front of him, but Cassian maneuvered around her body with expert grace of a fighter.

Cassian barged through the doors and his eyes searched wildly for Nesta. Doctors and nurses walked by him without regard. They had other more important tasks to take care of that required their attention.

Not wasting another second Cassian began walking down a large open hallway. One of the nurses from the welcome desk was following and ordering him to stop. Cassian didn’t care. How could he when Nesta was hurt? All that mattered was finding her.

He almost made it halfway down the hall when a tight grip pulled his arm back. Cassian turned with an angry glint in his eye. A snarl caught in his throat as Rhysand kept a firm hold despite the glare he was receiving.

“I know you want to see her,” Rhysand said. His voice coaxing calm like the night did for weary and tired souls. “But if you get sent to jail for disturbing the peace at a hospital then you won’t get the chance to be with her.”

“You don’t understand–”

“You’re wrong,” Rhysand interrupted. He understood what it meant to have a loved one’s life hanging in an unknown balance. “I know what you’re feeling right now Cassian. And that’s why you need to cool down and not do something you’ll regret.”

Cassian gritted his teeth and gave a final glance around the emergency room. The disgruntled nurse approached with a security officer in tow.

“Sorry about my friend,” Rhysand easily slipped on a disarming smile that eased the tension. “He’s just extremely worried and his emotions guided his actions. We’ll leave and wait outside until we’re called in.”

Rhysand let go of Cassian’s arm and allowed him to walk back to the waiting area. The nurse followed them to make sure Cassian didn’t get any more ideas of running through the ER. She made sure the guard stood by the door in case anyone else tried to enter once Rhysand and Cassian walked back through the doors.

Feyre and Elain were waiting for them on a couple of plastic chairs that lined the nearest wall to the doors.

“Did you see her?” Elain asked meekly.

Rhysand shook his head and took a seat next to Feyre. Cassian opted to lean against the wall and watch the doors with narrowed vigilance for any sign of movement. Minutes ticked by that turned into an hour. And that hour turned into two. With each passing moment Cassian’s worry grew. When the ER doors opened he would instantly perk up only to have his hope brought down as none of the doctors called out for them.

Shortly after 10 p.m. the doors opened again revealing a female doctor. She glanced around the near empty waiting area and spotted Cassian and the others. Cassian pushed off against the wall as Rhysand, Feyre and Elain stood up to meet the doctor.

“Are you Nesta Archeron’s family?” The doctor questioned.

“Yes,” Elain nodded. “Please…tell us she’s okay.”

The doctor’s neutral face softened at Elain’s plea. “She’s stable now. Luckily she was able to make the 911 call before her head injury caused her to lose consciousness.”

“Can we see her,” Feyre took a step forward. Wishing to go to her sister.

“I’m sorry, but visiting hours ended at ten,” the doctor said with a shake of her head.

“But she’s our sister,” Elain’s voice cracked on the verge of crying again.

“I understand,” the doctor spoke gently. “But the patient needs rest. “If you come back tomorrow in the morning at ten you can be with her. For now though I think the evening’s events are best eased after a good night’s sleep.”

“Please,” Cassian upturned his hands in a heartfelt gesture. As if he would offer anything so long as it meant they could go to Nesta. “Can’t we see her for just a minute at least.”

The doctor shook her head. Regulations had to be followed.

“We’ll be moving her out of the Emergency Medicine Department and into an inpatient room since she is stabilized. You can see her there tomorrow.”

Cassian looked at the ER door. Contemplating searching for Nesta again, but Rhysand nudged him to gain his attention.

“We’ll be back in morning then if that is what’s best for Nesta,” Rhysand glanced at Cassian. Making sure he understood that this was indeed for Nesta’s sake to recuperate undisturbed for the night.

“Just give them the patient’s name when you arrive along with photo ID,” the doctor gave a brief smile of sincerity. “Everything will work out just fine.” She looked at Elain who rubbed her eyes as tears leaked from them. “Your sister is a strong fighter. She’s going to recover and I imagine she wouldn’t want to see you sad right now.”

Elain nodded meekly. Feyre wrapped a consoling arm around her sister.

“Let’s take you home Elain. Tomorrow we’ll come down together to see her,” Feyre said and began leading her sister to the exit with Rhysand and Cassian trailing behind.

Once outside the sisters got into the car while Rhysand shut the door behind them. Cassian stood beside the passenger side. He didn’t move to open his door. Rhysand gave him a firm pat on the shoulder knowing that Cassian was going through a rough time himself.

“She is going to be okay Cassian. It’s just for one night and then we’ll drive straight back to see her in the morning.”

“Could you say that if it was Feyre in there?” Cassian braced one arm on the car door. His knuckles clenched tightly. “Rhys I don’t know if I can leave her here alone.”

Rhys was silent. If he were in Cassian’s position he would want to be by Feyre’s side. But he also knew that there was nothing else to be done for now.

“You heard the doctor,” Rhysand offered. Attempting to placate his friend. “Nesta is a fighter. Something like this won’t keep her down.” Rhysand paused. “But there will come a time when she needs our support and right now the best thing we can do is to let her rest for the night.”

Cassian said nothing. He jerked the car door open and slid into the seat. He remained silent during the entire car ride except for the brief goodbyes to Elain, Feyre and Rhys.

He drove his own vehicle home from Rhysand’s apartment and fell into bed. Sleep did not come easy. Even with Blaze curled up at the foot of the bed, it was a challenge to relax. On rare occasions Cassian allowed the dog on the bed and tonight he couldn’t argue that Blaze brought comfort that Cassian was glad to have. But his thoughts kept coming back to Nesta.

_Is she truly going to be okay? Why wasn’t I there to protect her?_

Those thoughts and more plagued him. Cassian closed his eyes wishing that he had done things differently. Why did he not text Nesta after their argument? He should have done something. Anything. Instead he did nothing, because his damn pride wouldn’t let him speak. Not until she reached out to him first.

_I promise that I’ll protect you Nesta._

The memory of the last words he said to Nesta made Cassian fist his hands into the pillow. How could he have not kept his promise? How could he have failed her?

He didn’t deserve. Not when he couldn’t even keep a promise that was this important. This was his fault for not being there for her. How could she ever forgive him? A bastard that broke his promises?

“I’m sorry,” Cassian whispered brokenly into the darkness. “I’m so sorry Nesta.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	22. I'm Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a night spent in the hospital following her being attacked, Nesta awakens with an aching body and new scars that will serve as a reminder of the previous day’s events. But what hurts the most is how Cassian is seemingly acting distant toward her. And how will she respond to seeing Tomas staying in the same hospital? Or how will Cassian react when he finds out?

A steady beeping sound cut through the heavy darkness. No matter how hard Nesta tried she couldn’t escape. Her arms felt heavy. Her legs refused to move. She could feel her heart thumping inside her chest. Each beat echoed in her ears in time with the vague beeping noise.

_Nesta._

_Hello?_  Nesta searched for the faint voice, but nothing could be seen. The pitch black void made it impossible to navigate.

 _Please come back to me._  A familiar deep tone pleaded.

 _I can’t find you._  Nesta continued looking in the shadows. Panic threatened to suffocate her lungs.

 _I’m sorry Nesta._  The voice began to fade away into a whisper.

 _No, don’t go!_  Nesta cried out and feebly attempted to reach out.

But it was too late. Silence and emptiness left Nesta in a chasm of loneliness.

 _No. I must be strong. I will be strong._  Nesta murmured to herself. She struggled to rise from her prison of darkness. Seconds passed by or perhaps it was hours before she felt the weight gradually lift from her body.

And Nesta finally opened her eyes.

She blinked against the harsh brightness and raised her hand to shield her sight. The movement caused her arm to ache.

Nesta shakily sat up in a hospital bed.

“What…?” She glanced around taking notice of the beeping monitors. A window on the far side of the room filtered in daylight and outside the open door sounds of doctors, nurses and other patients carried to Nesta’s ears.

She lifted the blanket off her body and swung her feet off the side of the bed. Her legs thankfully were uninjured except for a few scratches. She then realized that her clothes had been replaced with a hospital gown that ended just below her knees.

The memory of the event that put her here came flooding back.

Tomas had attacked her. And he had threatened to go after Elain and Feyre.

That thought alone propelled Nesta action. She stood up and gripped the bed’s railing for balance before moving toward the open door. Her movements were sluggish as her bare feet fumbled across the cold floor.

She braced a hand on the doorframe and peered into the hallway. And was met by a broad chest covered in a navy blue sweater.

Nesta jolted back in surprise.

Two large hands immediately reached to steady her.

Nesta’s eyes shot up in terror. But her worry vanished as she gazed up into the concerned hazel eyes that looked deep into her own.

“Ca-Cassian?” Nesta stammered.

Cassian stood still. His hands hovered inches above Nesta’s waist, but the flash of fear in her eyes had halted him before he got carried away in the moment of seeing her. He saw her unease disappear, but those brief seconds of seeing her afraid made him crumble.

“It’s me Nesta,” Cassian confirmed. His voice smooth so he wouldn’t startle her again.

“You’re…here,” Nesta breathed.

Cassian nodded. “I am, but  _you_  should be in bed.”

Nesta blinked. Remembering why she was out here in the first place.

“No I need to stop him! He said he would go after my sisters!” Nesta exclaimed. She intended to move around Cassian, but he stepped in front of her. Blocking her path to the desk.

“Slow down,” Cassian said slowly. Attempting to calm her. “You’re sisters are safe Nesta.”

“Cassian you don’t understand! He said – Oh God what if I’m too late?” Nesta’s voice cracked on the verge of tears. “I need to find Elain and Feyre!”

“Nesta?” A soft voice spoke from behind.

Nesta gasped and whirled around to be greeted by the sight of not only Elain, but of Feyre and Rhysand. Each of them held bottles of water.

Elain tentatively walked forward with wide brown eyes. “Nesta are you…?”

“You’re safe,” Nesta exhaled deeply in relief that shook her frame. She shifted her gaze to look at Feyre. “You’re both safe.”

“I think we should be more concerned about you at the moment,” Feyre moved forward to close the distance between them.

Nesta swallowed and reined in her emotions to hold back a sob of relief. Her sisters were safe. That was what mattered.

“Why don’t you all go inside while I get the doctor,” Rhysand said.

“I’ll go with you,” Cassian said abruptly. Nesta turned in astonishment to face him. Yet his eyes wouldn’t meet her own. In fact he avoided meeting her gaze.

“Cassian?” Nesta uncertainty filled her voice, but he already started walking away.

“Come on,” Feyre said. “Let’s sit down before they get back.”

But Nesta couldn’t look away from Cassian’s retreating form. Suddenly her heart hurt worse than any other pain.

Feyre and Elain guided her back into the room. Nesta took a seat on the bed, but refused to lie down despite Elain’s flustering worry.

“How are you feeling?” Elain nervously looked at two of Nesta’s fingers wrapped in a splint.

“Not too bad,” Nesta said. “Despite a few aches and pains.”

“You had us all worried,” Feyre said. “Cassian barged into the emergency room last night looking for you when we found out your were attacked. I thought he was going to take down a guard just to find you and then we would have to bust him out of jail.”

“Cassian was here? Last night?” Nesta internally hoped he didn’t find her yesterday. She could only imagine the state she was in when the ambulance brought her in. There was no way she would have wanted him to see her like that.

Shame burned her face.  _How could she have let this happen? Why did she let herself be put into a vulnerable position?_

“He has been here since this morning,” Elain added. “We all showed up for visiting hours since they wouldn’t let us see you yesterday.”

“Really?” Nesta looked down at her hands and tried to contain all the emotions that were swirling inside.  _What did she ever do to earn their care and love? All she ever did was push them away. And they still didn’t abandon her._

“You called out for Cassian,” Feyre sat down beside Nesta. “He would always hold your hand, but when he had to leave the room you would sometimes mumble for him your sleep.”

Nesta flushed red. “You’re kidding right?”

“She’s not lying,” Elain lowered her voice. “In fact I overheard the nurse asking him if he was  _your_ Cassian since you kept repeating his name in ambulance on your way to the ER.”

“I did?” Nesta tried to remember the ambulance ride, but nothing came to her. The last thing she recalled was falling in the snow.  _And whispering his name._

“What did Cassian say? When the nurse told him that?” Nesta fidgeted with her fingers. Acting nonchalant about the situation when all she could think of was Cassian’s reaction

Elain turned sheepish. “Well…he looked…surprised and….walked away without saying anything.”

Nesta turned those words over in her head. This didn’t seem like Cassian. Even out in the hallway moments ago made Nesta feel as if something had changed in him. If anything he should have been teasing her instead of avoiding her.

“What…happened yesterday?” Elain timidly diverged the conversation. “If you don’t mind me asking,” Elain added quickly.

Nesta bit the inside of her cheek and snuck a glance at Feyre who watched her closely. With a sigh Nesta decided to tell the truth.

“It was Tomas.”

“Tomas?” Elain cocked her head. Perplexed for a moment. “You mean from high school?”

“Yes,” Nesta said. “Although he obviously didn’t take the hint that I was not interested him back then. And he pretty much decided to make my life hell for breaking up with him.”

“Why would he do that though?” Elain asked. “Why try to hurt you when things didn’t work out.”

Nesta was silent. Debating whether or not to reveal the dark past she kept hidden. It still hurt thinking about it. And now those past scars had opened up. How could this have happened  _again_?

“It’s okay Nesta,” Feyre said softly. Her hand touched Nesta’s clenched fist. “You don’t have to say it now if you don’t want to, but I think you should get it off your chest soon. You’re only hurting yourself by keeping it bottled up inside.”

“Do you know what happened…back then?” Nesta bit her bottom lip lightly. Wondering if Feyre caught the signs.

Feyre shook her head. “No, but I do have a guess considering his family and the way Tomas acted before we left for Prythian.”

Nesta opened her mouth to say something else, but then a female doctor walked in with Rhysand and Cassian in tow.

“Good afternoon Nesta,” the doctor greeted. “I’m Dr. Landi. It’s great to see you awake and from what I heard you were also walking. Is that correct?”

Nesta nodded, but her eyes kept slipping to Cassian.

“I want to run a quick check of your vitals and ask some questions,” Dr. Landi held a clipboard and sifted through the pages.

“Looks like you had quite a rough last night,” Dr. Landi didn’t beat around the bush as she started writing notes from the monitor readings.

“You could say that,” Nesta played with the hem of her hospital gown. She blushed thinking about how silly she must look in the papery material. “When can I leave the hospital?”

“When you’re better,” Cassian said briskly before the doctor could say anything. Nesta looked up at him in confusion.

“I feel fine.” Nesta was determined to leave immediately. She didn’t want to stay in this place any longer when she wanted to go home.

“You’re definition of fine is not the same as mine,” Cassian crossed his arms and his features mirrored Nesta. He was not about to let her leave if she wasn’t well enough.

“Let’s check your heartbeat,” Dr. Landi placed a stethoscope against Nesta’s skin on her back and then in the front of her chest.

Meanwhile Nesta and Cassian were staring each other down. Nesta didn’t understand why Cassian was acting this way. She expected him to be the one to ease the tension in the air, but if anything he was the most tense in the room. He had yet to even  _smile_. That alone made Nesta worry.

He looked exhausted. His ebony hair was in a messy bun with strands falling out. Dark circles formed underneath his eyes, but the frown marring his face disconcerted Nesta the most.

“Hmmm,” Dr. Landi hummed while she jotted down the rest of the vitals onto Nesta’s paperwork. “You’re vitals are good although your blood pressure is a tad high.”

“Probably, because grumpy over there hasn’t stopped glaring this whole time,” Nesta motioned to Cassian. His frown deepened and Nesta resisted the urge to cringe.

“Now is not the time for jokes,” Cassian said taking no amusement from the situation.

“How is your head?” Dr. Landi dismissed the tension starting to fill the room even more.

“Other than feeling a little lightheaded I’m good,” Nesta replied honestly.

“I thought you said you were fine earlier,” Cassian almost growled out.

Nesta shot him a scathing look. She was getting tired of his negative attitude. “I  _am_ fine. But maybe you should check and see if the doctor can pull whatever it is you have rammed up your butt.”

Feyre let out a cough to hide a laugh and even Elain let out a startled noise somewhere between a gasp and giggle.

“There’s the Nesta we know and love,” Feyre’s tone held evidence of a smile.

Cassian did not take the joke lightly. He took a couple steps toward the bed. Fully intending to tell Nesta how serious the situation was before Rhysand grabbed his forearm.

“Do you need to leave sir?” Dr. Landi asked Cassian who shook his head stiffly. His eyes pierced into Nesta as the seconds passed in silence. Dr. Landi watched him before returning back to her examination.

“Two of your fingers on the left hand were broken so they will need to remain in splints for a few weeks,” Dr. Landi explained. “There are also a couple of bruises and scratches you’ll probably be feeling soon once we take you off the medication, but they’ll heal in no time”

“The sooner the better,” Nesta hoped her body would be back to normal quickly.

“Do you feel pain anywhere else?” Dr. Landi asked.

Nesta was tired of hearing that question, but when she shrugged her collarbone and right shoulder stung. She winced and missed the concern that immediately filled Cassian’s face.

Dr. Landi pulled the top of Nesta’s hospital gown down low enough to expose a harsh red line of skin that was stitched together.

Elain gasped at the injury. Even Feyre and Rhysand had gone still at the sight.

But Cassian’s face cracked the longer he looked at the wound. He turned pale and swallowed down the bile that rose to his throat. He had seen worse injuries, but looking Nesta’s shoulder where the red line of flesh was held together by stitches made his knees threaten to buckle. By a thin shred of determination was he able to keep himself standing tall, but his face crumbled under the idea of someone being capable enough to hurt anyone in such a way.

And that alone made Nesta ill once she noticed Cassian’s expression. Not the damaged skin that pained her, but the way Cassian looked at it. Looked at her.

Tears ran down her cheeks against her will. Nesta wiped her left hand against the traitorous trails that dripped onto her knees.

Cassian’s gaze flashed to her face before she rid the evidence of her emotions. His expression instantly darkened like storm clouds.

He was angry toward the person who harmed Nesta. And he hated himself for not being there to protect her. He had broken his promise to her. One of the last things he ever said to her before everything went to hell.

_I promise that I’ll protect you Nesta._

The memory made Cassian clench his hands into fists. How could he have failed her?

He didn’t deserve. Not when he couldn’t even keep a promise that was this important.

“You’ll have a scar,” Dr. Landi said. “But it could have been much worse if the wound was deeper. All in all though you should be ready to leave today if you would like.”

“I would prefer that,” Nesta tugged up her shirt so that it hid the skin on her shoulder where the stitches ran towards her neck.

The doctor left and after a few minutes a nurse came back with a wheelchair. Nesta refused the chair despite the protests of her sisters and Cassian who had adopted his commanding tone with her.

“Get in the chair Nesta or you’ll be going right back to bed,” Cassian crossed his arms.

“I will not and you have no right to order me around,” Nesta stood and under her breath released a string of colorful curses that would put a rainbow to shame. She was perfectly capable of walking out of the hospital on her own two feet with her head held high. Her strides carried her into the hallway with Cassian hot on her heels as he gently tried to stop her. His brief and hesitant touches only irked Nesta further.

“I’m not glass Cassian,” Nesta seethed. “So stop treating me as such!”

“You’re injured Nesta. Why can’t you just let us help you? Let  _me_  help you?” Guilt laced his words. If he could do at least one thing right it was making sure that Nesta would be better protected after this.

She was about ready to throw a comeback at him when she froze in the hall. Her eyes locked on something down the hall.

“Nesta?” Cassian narrowed his eyes in confusion at her abrupt silence before following her gaze. Down the hall he saw a man in a hospital gown with bruises visible on his legs and arms. The stranger paused outside his room and looked up at them. At Nesta.

The look on the man’s face tightened in furious recognition as he limped toward Cassian and Nesta. His only focus appeared to be Nesta considering he failed to notice Cassian surveying the situation.

But then Nesta moved one step behind Cassian. Her hand clutched at the back of his shirt as she pressed closer to him. Trying to shield herself from the approaching man.

Cassian instinctively moved between Nesta and the stranger. He didn’t understand quite what was happening, but a primal protective urge coursed through him. A need to defend from an approaching danger.

Then Cassian recognized this man was the one from the restaurant nights ago. The one who had tried to hurt Nesta and caused her to lose her job.

Tomas. That was the bastard’s name. Cassian recalled with growing anger.

When Tomas stopped in front of Cassian both men sized each other up. Cassian was the larger of the two in both height and muscle. Tomas warily looked between the man built like a warrior and his intended target who pressed closer to Cassian. Nesta glared at Tomas with enough ire that it made him pause in consideration of confronting her.

A brief moment of uncertainty flickered in Tomas’s eyes, but Nesta broke the standoff by moving out from behind Cassian.

“You’re going to regret threatening my family,” Nesta said evenly. “I’ll make you pay for everything you have ever done.” Her words were sharp and cut deep enough that Tomas was unnerved enough to look stricken.

“You know I didn’t mean-”

“Don’t,” Nesta bit out. “Don’t you  _ever_  speak to me again you piece of filth.”

Understanding hit Cassian. Tomas was the man who attacked Nesta. And was the same one Feyre firmly believed had also assaulted Nesta years ago when she was a teenager. Rage boiled in Cassian’s veins as he considered snapping the coward’s bones like twigs.

“Come on Nesta,” Tomas reached his hand out and that was the worst mistake he could have done.

Cassian quickly snatched his wrist in a crushing grip that left Tomas yelping in surprise and pain.

“Don’t touch her,” Cassian snarled as Tomas tried to pry his hand free, but was unsuccessful. “And let me tell you this you complete sack of shit. If you try to even  _look_ at her again you’re not going to need a hospital when I’m through with you, but instead I’ll put you six feet under where you’ll rot like the garbage you are.”

Cassian easily shoved Tomas into the wall where he pushed his face against the hard surface with a loud crack. Tomas’s nose crunched under the force. A sure sign that it was broken. And if that wasn’t enough Tomas’s muffled cry was evidence to that fact.

“And I swear you’ll regret every single thing you did to her.” Cassian twisted Tomas’s arm and with a cry the man began begging for Cassian to stop.

Even though Cassian wasn’t one to take pleasure in harming others this was the one time he would gladly destroy someone. Tomas deserved it for hurting Nesta. But first there was one thing that Cassian wanted to hear besides the pathetic whimpering that came from this weaklings mouth.

“Apologize,” Cassian said fiercely. Tomas did no such thing. Instead he weakly threatened Cassian and blubbered out some nonsense that was too difficult to hear since his face was pressed against the wall.

At first Cassian paid no heed to the words directed at him, but then Tomas said something along the lines of Nesta “deserving what she got”.

Cassian snapped. Lost to a rage like nothing he had ever experienced before.

“APOLOGIZE TO HER!” He roared and the noise shook the building’s foundations. Everything came to a standstill in the hospital as Tomas screeched out an apology and pledged to never set eyes on Nesta again.

A soothing hand slowly rested on Cassian’s forearm where he held Tomas to the wall. Cassian’s whole body shook in fury as he tried to control himself from ending Tomas right there on the spot.

“Cassian,” an even voice broke through the frenzy and fingers dug into his skin to distract him. “Please  _Cassian_.”

He turned his head away from Tomas and followed the voice back to sanity. Nesta stood with her hand holding onto him like an anchor in a storm. Keeping him steady until the raging sea calmed under her blue eyes that were forming tears.

She swallowed thickly. No one had ever defended her as Cassian had today. He was the one who came to her need even though she didn’t ask for it. And even though she believed her capability of guarding herself was strong, it still meant everything to her to know that Cassian was willing to step in when she needed him most.

“Let’s go home,” she whispered. “He’s not worth you going to jail.”

“He hurt you Nesta,” Cassian growled and clenched his eyes shut to tamper down the need to fling Tomas into the nearest window.

“I know.” Nesta said softly. “But after today I think he gets the message that I’m not going down without a fight.” Nesta paused to set Tomas with a withering look. “There won’t be a next time if he tries to come near me. And I won’t go easy on him either if he shows his face.”

For a moment it seemed as though Cassian wasn’t going to listen to her. But with a deep breath Cassian released Tomas who fell to the floor and scrambled away. Cassian sneered at his retreating form. Half tempted to scare the man even more.

Nesta swayed and leaned into Cassian for support. She didn’t realize how exhausted she was even after hours of rest.

“I’m ready for bed,” Nesta mumbled without thinking into Cassian’s shirt.

“Really?” Cassian questioned to keep her talking. It was also to keep him distracted from Tomas who was being escorted back to his room by a nurse and a police officer who stood nearby. It seemed as though Tomas’s crime toward Nesta would not go unpunished after all.

“Do you think you can walk to the car or do you want me to get the wheelchair?” Cassian asked.

Nesta shook her head. “I can walk.” Though she let a tired yawn not five steps later. Somehow she made it out to the vehicle once she filled out the hospital paperwork granting her permission to leave. Perhaps it was sheer will and pride that kept her standing as she walked out the hospital doors.

In the back of the car Nesta sat between Elain and Cassian while Rhysand and Feyre sat up front. Nesta eventually fell asleep not long after they drove onto the main roads.

When they arrived to the Nesta and Elain’s apartment it was clear that Nesta was completely loss to a deep sleep. Her head rolled onto Cassian’s shoulder during the drive and now the group was wondering how best it would be to rouse her from slumber.

“There’s no sense in waking her up,” Cassian said. “I’ll carry her inside.” Carefully he lifted Nesta out of the car and walked across the street with her cradled in his arms. She barely stirred except to tuck her nose into the crook of his shoulder where she sighed happily at the scent that drifted into her senses.

Elain and the others led the way and helped to open doors until they arrived at the apartment. The group lingered behind as Cassian carried Nesta to her room.

He gently placed her on the bed before covering her with a small quilt. Diligently he tucked her in and brushed a few stray strands of hair that had fallen across her eyes. His fingers moved the dark golden hair back behind her ear just as Nesta turned her cheek to rest in his palm.

“Cassian…” she murmured in her sleep.

“I’m here sweetheart,” Cassian whispered and caressed her skin with his thumb in soothing motions.

The scene was similar to what happened hours ago when he first saw her lying in the hospital bed. She was beaten, bloodied and bruised underneath the thin sheets that covered her.

The image of her wincing and moaning softly in pain or fear as she slept will forever be burned in Cassian’s memory. He cried silent tears and had to excuse himself to regain his composure once the doctors explained what occurred the previous night. Sickness roiled through Cassian as he imagined Nesta fighting off an attacker and being injured badly enough that medics found her passed out on a snowy street.

Most of the fighters Cassian knew at the gym wouldn’t even have the strength to call police before they fainted. Nesta was different. She was strong and determined and intelligent enough to know how to survive.

It still didn’t lessen the guilt Cassian felt.

He never left Nesta’s bedside after he returned from his emotional lapse away from prying eyes. Cassian was never one to cry in front of others, but he found it extremely difficult to hold back the tears as he sat in the chair while clasping Nesta’s hand tightly as he pleaded with her. Hoping beyond anything that she would return and forgive him for not being there when she needed him.

Cassian lost track of the hours and the amount of times he said  _“Please come back to me”_  and  _“I’m sorry Nesta”_. He held her hand close to his lips and at one point kissed her bruised knuckles. Each purple mark a sign that she fought back. In Cassian’s heart he was proud of her in at least being able to fend off her attacker as best she could.

At one point he thought she murmured his name, but it was so faint that he thought it was only his imagination. Then he began to think otherwise when the nurses asked if he was  _the_  Cassian that Nesta called out for while she was in the ambulance. Maybe she was trying to call out to him after all. 

With a tired sigh Cassian was brought back to the present when he felt Nesta reach for him in her sleep. He lowered his hand to tenderly meet her grip and kept holding her hand until Elain and Feyre quietly knocked on the door to check on their sister.

Cassian stood up and left the three sisters to have their own time alone. He longed to stay, but he didn’t want to hinder Elain and Feyre from seeing Nesta.

Tomorrow he would come back. And the next day. And the next. Until Nesta would probably kick him out after she tired of his worrying caretaking.

He only hoped that Nesta would be willing to let him stay. Perhaps he would soon work up enough courage to properly ask for her forgiveness when she was well-enough to hear him out. Hell he would get on his knees and beg if it meant she would accept his apology.

But until that moment he would cling to the warm memory of her grip that seeped into his skin and the sound of her calling out to him in her sleep. As if she too was searching for him as much as he had been searching for her in the depth of his despair.

For now he grateful that she was alive. Together they would face whatever the future held. And Cassian wouldn’t fail her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	23. The Cabin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been weeks since Nesta was attacked by Tomas. And during that time Cassian has been visiting her until he finds the courage to ask her to go with him and the others to a place that he thinks will help her. Now Nesta is in the mountains struggling to find a way to tell Cassian how she feels. Even Cassian suffers from the same predicament. Then an unexpected turn of events will lead both of them in a situation where they can’t hide from each other anymore.

Nesta sat in a cushioned chair reading a book in front of the crackling fire within the fireplace of Rhysand’s cabin in the mountains. It had been a month since that dreadful night Tomas attacked her. And everyday since then Cassian stopped by her apartment each evening to check on her after he got off work.

At first Nesta didn’t know what to think of his daily visits. Cassian would stop by and cook dinner for her and Elain while making sure that they had everything they needed. He would even go out shopping to buy food so they wouldn’t have to live off take-out.

Despite this it was aggravating how Cassian thought Nesta wasn’t capable of taking care of herself or her sister. So she remained quiet during those times he entered their home. Only speaking when absolutely necessary or when Cassian baited her long enough that she lost patience and finally gave in to answering him.

Sadly it seemed as though Elain and Feyre thought their eldest sister needed coddled as well. Because before she knew it Cassian was asking her to take a “break” up to the mountains with him, Mor, Feyre and Rhysand.

Nesta was half-tempted to decline the offer, but she knew if she did that it would only make everyone else more worried. In the end she agreed to go much to Cassian’s pure relief and delight.

So here she was. Safely enclosed in the warm cabin while snow flurries drifted from the sky. Outside Nesta could hear Mor, Feyre and Rhysand talking about making a trip to the village further down the mountain.

Minutes later Feyre stuck her head inside the cabin.

“Rhysand, Mor and I are going to take the vehicle to the village,” Feyre announced.

“I thought Rhysand said we had enough supplies up here to last two weeks?” Nesta flicked a page over in her book.

“We do, but it’s been a while since we have met with the villagers and we would like to catch up with a few of them before our trip is over.”

That was right. In the morning they were all heading back to Prythian before a large snowstorm was supposed to hit later tomorrow night.

“Have fun while you’re out,” Nesta said. When silence met her response she glanced up to see Feyre’s face turn somber.

“You’re supposed to be having fun too Nesta. So why don’t you get out here and enjoy the snow while we’re gone.”

Nesta shrugged non-committedly. In the past she used to enjoy the snow. Her early years were filled with happy memories of sledding and running through the frozen trees until her mother died. That was when Nesta’s childhood came to an abrupt end as their family sunk into poverty and the winter months became a frightening time where survival became toughest.

A car horn honked from outside jarring Nesta from the past. She looked outside to see Rhysand and Mor waiting in the car.

“I better run before Mor decides to drag me away. Don’t forget what I said Nesta about enjoying your time here,” Feyre turned to leave, but paused as if deciding if she should speak her next words. “And be sure to talk with Cassian.” Feyre said. “He won’t admit it aloud, but he’s worried about you Nesta. I think you both should…talk it out.”

Nesta didn’t have the chance to respond as Feyre took off across the blanket of snow toward the parked vehicle. She watched as the SUV drove down the path back toward civilization. It would be hours before Feyre and the other returned.

Quietness settled over the cabin save for the crackling fire. Nesta could almost fall asleep right there in the cushioned chair, but knowing her luck Cassian would come barging in the door like a barbarian of sorts.

She blinked. Thinking it odd that she actually hadn’t heard much from Cassian today other than this morning when she was waking up in her bed and could hear Cassian and Mor laughing in one of the other guest bedrooms.

The thought of Cassian and Mor being together made Nesta’s stomach plummet.

She tried to read her book for the next couple of hours, but she couldn’t concentrate.

Nesta pushed her book aside. No longer fond of reading at the moment and instead she settled for watching the fire flicker brightly in the fireplace. A comforting sight that Nesta gladly welcomed though it did remind her of the man who constantly occupied her mind.

_Where **was**  Cassian?_

Nesta looked around the cabin searching for him, but he wasn’t in the kitchen or any other room. As she neared the backdoor Nesta heard a cracking noise from the backyard.

She peeked from a window curtain and the sight revealed left Nesta spellbound.

Cassian had removed his heavy red parka and was chopping wood in a white fitted sweater. Even through the thick material Nesta could see his muscles flex with each swing of his axe as he split pieces of wood in two.

Anytime he would bend down to toss a piece of wood into the growing pile Nesta would get the lovely sight of Cassian’s ass in form-fitted jeans. His dark hair was pulled back in a bun that did wonders for Nesta’s imagination.

_What would it feel like to remove the hair tie and feel those thick strands through her fingers? Or to run her hands down his back and grip his firm cheeks?_

Nesta wasn’t sure how much time had passed as she watched him. It could have been minutes or hours for all she knew as she was in the depths of her wild fantasy.

It wasn’t until Cassian wiped sweat off his brow and turned around did Nesta finally shake from her trance. Cassian blinked once in surprise and waved at Nesta with a smile on his face.

Nesta quickly dropped the curtain and touched her cheeks. They were warm. No doubt flushed in either desire or embarrassment. Probably both.

She took one step away from the window to retreat, but the door beside her opened suddenly. Nesta jolted back just as Cassian stepped in.

“I thought I saw you in the window,” Cassian still had that smile on his face and his voice was a bit breathless. “Mind helping me bring in this wood?”

It was an innocent question yet Nesta glared at Cassian as if he had hidden intentions.

“Don’t we have enough beside the fireplace to last us for the night?”

Cassian nodded. “We do, but I always like to be prepared. Besides I chopped too much so it won’t fit in the wood shed so some of it will have to be placed inside.”

He didn’t admit the reasoning aloud, but Cassian cut so much wood due to his distracted thoughts of Nesta. He wanted to talk more with her on the trip in private, but the time never felt right. Sure they spoke on a daily basis, or what could be considered daily if you merely counted the brief encounters they had.

He never got to have a heart-to-heart with Nesta. Not about what happened the night she was attacked or how Cassian felt at fault, because he should have been there.

_I should have protected her like I promised._

Yet Cassian didn’t get a chance to apologize. Nor did he even get to tell Nesta how his feelings for her had grown into something he could never extinguish.

So he remained silent. Venting his frustration on a pile of wood that quickly grew out of control until he was sweating despite the frigid temperature with an even larger pile of firewood than he expected.

But Nesta was here now. Standing right in front of him with reddened cheeks and eyes so wide they would put a doe to shame. Cassian could only assume his eyes mirrored hers in shock when he saw her in the window watching him. Speaking of which…

“Did you need anything by the way,” Cassian asked. “You were in the window earlier so I assume you were looking for something.”

“I was – You weren’t inside and I couldn’t find you.” Nesta stumbled over her words.

Cassian didn’t quite understand at first, but then quickly sucked in a breath. She was looking for  _him_. Immediately Cassian schooled his features before responding.

“Glad to see you were worried about me,” smirking slightly at the thought of Nesta wondering about him.

“Worried might be stretching it. Usually I can hear you laughing or trudging about the rooms, but when I didn’t I thought perhaps you had gotten lost or whatever it is that happens up here in the mountains,” Nesta shrugged her shoulders, but her eyes were restless.

“You know,” Cassian began gently. “I miss you too. Your voice and seeing you that is.”

Nesta’s head snapped to him. “What do you mean? You’ve seen me constantly since the hospital. Always playing nursemaid.” The last statement was said with a bitter undertone. “Then I agreed to go on this trip and I’ve talked to you throughout our time here-”

“Yet you seem more distant then ever,” Cassian interrupted. “Ever since that – that night,” Cassian struggled to say the words. Knowing that it brought up bad memories. “You’ve pushed yourself away from everyone.”

“That’s not true,” Nesta argued. “If anyone has changed it’s  _you_  Cassian.”

“Me?” Cassian narrowed his eyes in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Every time you visited me at the apartment you treated me as if I was glass,” Nesta rushed out. “Like I am some helpless little girl that needs your help all the time when all I wanted was for you-” she halted herself before she said too much. Quickly she turned around so her back was facing Cassian. “Never mind. Let’s just try to start fresh and move on.”

“Wait a second,” Cassian grabbed her arm before she fled down the hallway. “You were never one to hold back so don’t start now. Tell me what you wanted from me Nesta.”

“It doesn’t matter if all you ever see me as is the person who was almost raped again,” Nesta spat out as she tried to tug her hand away from Cassian, but he wouldn’t let go. His grip was firm yet not painful.

“Nes,” Cassian whispered and turned her around to face him. Still her head tilted away so she wouldn’t look at him. It wasn’t until his free hand tilted her chin toward him did she finally look him in the eyes. “I don’t think of you as weak,” he continued softly. “If anything you are strong for surviving what happened to you.”

“Then why do you treat me so differently than before that night?” Nesta demanded. Her eyes brewing with a storm of emotions she kept bottled inside all these weeks. “What changed so much Cassian that you act this way toward me?”

“You want to know why I’m so protective of you? Why I can’t get the thought out of my head that I almost  _lost_  you?” Cassian struggled to maintain his calm composure. “Is it not obvious?”

Nesta’s eyes widened.  _Did he…?_

She opened her mouth to dare ask what she had hoped for beyond anything. That Cassian might feel the same way about her.

Abruptly a phone started ringing. Ruining the moment. Cassian and Nesta flinched apart. Both not realizing that their heads had slowly closed the distance between each other.

Cassian fumbled with his pockets until he pulled out his phone that was the cause of the interruption. “This better be important Rhys,” Cassian grumbled as he answered the call.

A few seconds went by as Cassian listened to what Rhysand was saying. Nesta watched closely noticing how Cassian’s brows knitted together at what he was hearing.

“Are you sure?” Cassian asked. “And you’re all going to be fine?”

“What’s wrong?” Nesta jerked to attention. Had something happened to Feyre and the others? Surely they had made it to town by now since it had been a little over a couple hours since they left. Or did they get caught on the road going down the mountain?

Cassian didn’t answer her question. Instead he finished his conversation with Rhysand before ending the call. With a weary sigh Cassian rubbed the back of his neck. Obviously preparing to give some sort of news to Nesta.

“Well?” She demanded.

“I hope you’re enjoying your time on the mountain Nesta,” Cassian looked at her now.

“Why do you ask that?”

“Because that snowstorm that was supposed to come tomorrow has decided to come a bit early. And by early I mean we’ll get hit within the hour.”

“What about Feyre, Rhysand and Mor?” Nesta looked out the window. Half expecting them to drive up and they all hurry to pack their bags in the trunk before it was too late to leave.

“They won’t make it back up in time to beat the storm so they’re staying at a hotel until it’s safe to come back up the roads.”

“Then that means…” Nesta trailed off. Knowing full well what Cassian was about to say next, but not quite sure she could believe it.

Cassian nodded. “We’re stuck in this cabin until the storm passes and the roads are clear.”

And the silent statement was there between.

They would be alone on this mountain. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


	24. Stranded Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta and Cassian are alone at the cabin with no way of leaving due to the blizzard. Will they catch cabin fever or end up at each other’s throats? One thing is for sure. It’s about to heat up in more ways than one as Nesta and Cassian face their biggest challenge yet: each other.

Soft sounds from the kitchen woke Nesta from her slumber. She rolled over in bed before blearily blinking to glance outside her window. A blinding white light caused her to rub the sleep from her eyes.

 

A groan of disbelief escaped her as she glared at the thick blanket of snow that covered every surface as far as the eye could see. The snowstorm from yesterday finally ceased, but the damage was done.

 

Nesta and Cassian were stranded in this cabin until the foreseeable future.

 

Sizzling noises from the kitchen tore Nesta away from her thoughts. An aroma wafted throughout the cabin that teased Nesta’s nose until she walked out the bedroom without thinking much to how she looked after rousing from bed.

 

Her footsteps were quiet as she meandered down the stairs, but she could still feel the cold hardwood floors through her wool socks. Nesta paused in the doorway leading into the kitchen to watch the sight before her.

 

Cassian was cooking…with only red flannel pajama pants on. He was completely oblivious to Nesta trying yet failing to ignore the view. His bared back muscles flexed with each movement and Nesta bit her bottom lip. She wanted to blame the smell of breakfast for her reaction, but her hunger came from her devouring the image of Cassian. Not simply because he was handsome with a toned body that Nesta knew could be both gentle and strong. It was seeing Cassian in his element while cooking that made Nesta’s heart stutter. He enjoyed the activity and appeared perfectly relaxed in the kitchen.

 

When Nesta saw Cassian like this, it made her imagine a dream that she once thought was unreachable. _Home._

 

A place, no a person, who would fully accept Nesta for her faults and still love her for them. A person who would challenge her, yet also be by her side to face whatever obstacle entered their life. Someone she could trust to take down her walls.

 

“Aren’t you cold?” Nesta questioned with sleep making her voice sound anything but even. Or perhaps it was the way Cassian looked in the morning with his hair tied up.

 

“Not at all,” Cassian spoke over the sound of popping grease as he placed bacon on a plate with eggs and toast. He took the opportunity to look over his shoulder. His jaw visibly slacked seeing Nesta in her current state.

 

Uncombed hair made her appear more like the wildcat he knew her to be. And he loved it, but it was that he doubted anyone ever saw her is such a disheveled state that made his heart pound. And the fact her winter pajamas fit nicely to the point of being a distraction in which Cassian couldn’t find the strength to turn away from. Even as the fabric covered skin it was clear that Nesta had curves in all the right places and recently her arm and leg muscles had become more pronounced with their training over the past year.

 

For once Nesta appeared unguarded. As if her mental shields had yet to be established this early in the morning. Especially considering the hungry look in her eye as her glance flicked downward to his back so fast that he thought he imagined it.

 

“Would you like breakfast?” Cassian asked with his voice slightly deepening at the effect Nesta was having on him. He could only hope that she would brush it off as she silently approached the counter and set up a pair of plates with silverware.

 

They ate breakfast together. An achievement in Cassian’s book since they had yet to verbally spar, but it simply meant they hadn’t finished their conversation from yesterday.

 

From the corner of his eye Cassian noticed that Nesta occasionally shot him a glance. It was clear she was debating with herself in an internal struggle.

 

“Cassian-” Nesta tried to ask the question that had been plaguing her since last night. One that followed her for so long. It seemingly snuck up on her over the months, yet it was there all this time. Or at least she thought it was.

 

Did Cassian have feelings for her like she did him? Could she trust these instincts? Maybe she was seeing far into the situation. What if she ruined this precious thing between them if she was wrong?

 

She swallowed the words down. Fear driving the words back and clenching her heart in a vice grip.

 

“Thank you for breakfast,” she said instead. “It was delicious.”

 

Cassian shrugged. “It was simple. One day I’ll make you a breakfast spread that will put this to shame.”

 

A moment of silence passed.

 

“Nesta-” Cassian began. Hoping to broach the topic from yesterday and how he almost gave away his feelings. But uncertainty held him back as he bit the inside of his cheek.

 

A fool. He was a damned fool for letting his emotions get the better of him in the heat of the moment when he should have been calm and collected.

 

And Cassian, arguably the most headstrong of the Inner Circle, couldn’t find it in himself to be brave enough to say the words that had burned in the back of his throat.

 

“When you finish your breakfast get dressed in something warm and meet me by the front door.” Cassian took his empty plate to the sink and began washing it.

 

“Why?” Nesta asked with suspicion and curiosity lacing her tone

 

“You’ll see,” was all that Cassian offered. From behind he could hear Nesta polishing off the last bit of toast and eggs. Before she had the chance to approach the sink Cassian took her dishes and motioned her back toward the bedrooms.

 

“Go get ready. You’ve got 10 minutes before I come in after you.”

 

“You can’t be serious,” Nesta rolled her eyes and tried to help clean, but Cassian gave her a look that meant business. “Fine,” Nesta huffed and walked out the kitchen.

 

“Take your time sweetheart,” Cassian called over the sound of scrubbing plates. “I wouldn’t mind coming in to help if you’re struggling to get dressed.”

 

“Brute!” Nesta called back as she shut her bedroom door, but she could still faintly hear the sound of him chuckling through the walls.

 

Nesta hurried to throw on some clothes. Not wanting to risk the chance on Cassian catching her stripped of clothing. Luckily her injuries had healed since her run-in with Tomas.

 

After a brief moment of hesitation Nesta slipped on the black lacy lingerie that Feyre had her bought for a holiday gift. When Nesta first opened the present in her apartment she was unamused. Though Feyre reasoned that every lady she have a nice set of lingerie for herself. Nesta had to admit that the scraps of fabric were quickly becoming a favorite of her closet. Comfortable, yet did the job in making sure everything stayed in its place.

 

It didn’t take long for Nesta to put on her other clothes and walk to the bathroom to finish up her morning tasks, which included brushing her hair before securing the tresses into a loose bun.

 

Cassian was already dressed and ready to go by the time she strode to the front door. Nesta laced her winter boots as Cassian remained silent. It wasn’t until Nesta finished that Cassian offered a hand. It didn’t even cross her mind to refuse the offer. She took his hand as they both trudged into the thick snowy landscape.

 

“So what’s on the agenda today _Commander_?” Nesta questioned over the crunch of snow beneath their feet.

 

Cassian raised a brow in question. “Commander?”

 

“Sure,” Nesta shrugged. “You’re apparently in charge today so why not?”

 

“So if I ordered you to-” Cassian grinned at an image in his mind. Nesta quickly halted his train of thought that had completely gone off the rails of sanity.

 

“Don’t push it,” Nesta interrupted.

 

Cassian let out a chuckle. “Alright. You win Nes.” A second later Cassian squeezed Nesta’s hand. “But I do promise that today we are going to have fun. And by the end of the day you’re going to be so happily exhausted that you’ll be thanking me.”

 

“Sure,” Nesta drawled while trying to make sure her own thoughts didn’t stray too far from wondering how Cassian planned to make her so exhausted. “Let’s just see about that.”

 

It soon became clear Cassian intended to hold up to his promise. First they made snowmen which somehow resulted in one poor snowmen’s head being used as artillery in a snowball fight. Cassian was quick on his feet, faster than Nesta could keep up with as he dodged snowball after snowball. Nesta growled in frustration as Cassian pelted her with a snowball right against her butt as she was trying to duck behind a tree.

 

Cassian was right in the middle of a howling laugh when Nesta took aim and nailed him right in his open mouth.

 

“Eat snow Cass!” Nesta grinned in triumphant at his shocked expression.

 

“It’s on Archeron!” Cassian took off after Nesta who ran to the safety of the cabin. At first Nesta thought she lost Cassian, but suddenly an arm wrapped around her waist and spun her around.

 

She shrieked in glee even as Cassian slipped on the snow and sent them both toppling to the ground in a fit of laughter. Their laughter slowly ceased as they lay down next to each other on a blanket of snow. Cassian’s arm remained wrapped around Nesta as she looked up at him.

 

His cheeks were flushed and his chest still heaved from the chase. Dark strands of hair brushed against his brow and stood out against the white winter landscape.

 

It was his unrestrained smile that made Nesta’s heart melt. She didn’t know what she was doing until her body shifted toward him. She had no control over this connection that was drawing her closer to Cassian.

 

Cassian must have saw something in her eyes. Or perhaps it was the blush on her cheeks and the way her breath stilled as she leaned close enough to place a kiss on his cheek.

 

“Thank you Cassian,” Nesta whispered against his jaw.

 

“For what?” He whispered back.

 

“Everything,” Nesta said without hesitation. “For being there when I needed you most, even when I refused to see it. For never giving up on me…and being a light in some of my darkest times.”

 

“Nesta…” Cassian’s breath ghosted against Nesta lips as he brought his forehead to lean against hers. “I would never abandon you. I’ll always be here by your side.” He paused with a faint smile. “And when you get pissed off at me for my antics I’ll do everything in my power to make it up to you.”

 

“And that would include what exactly?” Nesta glanced up through her lashes.

 

Silence. Then Cassian leaned closer.

 

His lips brushed the tip of Nesta’s ear as he whispered. “First I plan on holding you close,” Cassian waited a moment before gripping her waist tighter. The motion tugged her closer into his warm body. “And after that I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


End file.
